"Funny Money" or "Iraq, It's What's for Dinar"
A comedy article
by Frogpop  173,153  25
04/30/2004 09:25 AM 1121 views
|
|
I read an article in last week's Wall Street Journal about this new get rich quick scheme that’s all the rage. It seems that people are buying up new Iraqi currency in hopes of getting rich, quickly, when the country *snicker* settles down and *chuckle* establishes a western friendly democracy, and *guffaw* becomes a peaceful and productive country, because then, each Iraqi Dinar will be worth bazillions of EuroDollarYenPounds apiece. Actually, the article was more about how a few enterprising currency dealers are getting rich quick by selling these new Iraqi Dinars, at about 3x their current in-country value, to our fellow rubes. I mean suckers. I mean citizens.
Luckily, I am not a jackass (though I sometimes play one on GAB) and am not going to be taken in by this business opportunity, no matter what Choki's cousin Abdulha says. Unluckily, I have no way of importing large quantities of Iraqi currency into the country, and am therefore unable to retire on the backs of the ignorant masses. But win some, lose some, I always say.
In any event, this recent hubbub about new Iraqi currency has, for me, sparked a personal interest in the older, more frightening, Saddam-bucks. I've decided to go fishing around Ebay and some other places to pick up a complete set of old-school Saddam Dinars, which I will frame together and hang above me mantle.
Collecting currency can be made much easier when you’re purchasing the banknotes of failed states with the currency of the last remaining super power, as you’re likely to get a most favorable exchange rate. You confederates down there know what I’m talking about. In the end though, isn’t that what empire building is all about: cheap souvenirs? With a little effort, and only a little more expense, someone more enterprising than myself could actually put together a full Iraq edition Monopoly set, using real Saddam Dinars as the bank. “Go to Jail, do not pass the Refinery, do not collect 200 Dinars.” Har-har-har!
On the other hand, I’ve spent so much time looking at auction pictures, and catalogue scans, and forgery identification tips, that I fear I may have burned Saddam’s self-satisfied grin into my retina. He actually looks like a really nice guy; I think you just have to get to know him.
If I’m lucky, maybe some of the bills I buy will be stained with the blood of the innocent. Ooh! Or if they carry some trace radioactivity, I could finally use up some of these sick days I’ve got stored up at work! Wow.. I guess I’ve been wrong about this whole Bush invasion thing, all along!
|
|
|
Like This? Rate It!
|
|
Hilarious
65 votes
4.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=927842
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=942330
John Hargrave 128,751  73
05/21/2004 06:15 PM
Clickies for Frogpop.
No idea why the title got cut off, or how to fix it.
Should read:
"Funny Money," or "Iraq, It's What's For Dinar"
|
| |
|
|
|
0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=942334
Philly Cheesesteak Hammerhead 59,399 14
05/21/2004 06:19 PM
Or you could just buy a bunch of them and use them as toilet paper. Then they'd be worth something.
|
| |
|
|
|
Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=943423
Frogpop 173,153 25
05/24/2004 07:30 AM
Clickies for Frogpop.
You heard the Man.. now make with the clickies!
(p.s. First to post! For real!)
|
| |
|
|
|
Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=943424
Frogpop 173,153 25
05/24/2004 07:34 AM
p.s. I suxors at math. That "1/3" should really be more of a "3x".
|
| |
|
|
|
Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=943427
NavyBoy 19,912 12
05/24/2004 08:12 AM
Cheap souvenirs indeed.
When I first acquired this it was worth around $800 US.
Your article inspired me to check again... it's now worth $.174546 US. (yes, there's a decimal point there.. 17cents)
Good thing I didn't pay for it.
|
| |
|
|
|
Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=943435
Trixxie 65,021 15
05/24/2004 09:16 AM
saddam has one talented eyebrow waxer. That is a perfect arch he's got going on.
|
| |
|
|
|
Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=943489
Chickens en mis pantalones! 286,326 61
05/24/2004 10:54 AM
My kid's cub scout troup marched in the return parade for a medical corps that just returned from Iraq. One of the soldiers gave him a 10 Dinar note. He was handing them out to all the scouts until someone asked what they were worth. Nothing, he sez, the government recently fell.
Toppled government humor at its best.
|
| |
|
|
|
0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1084409
Frogpop 173,153 25
11/21/2004 03:14 AM
Hey Foye! Couldja help a brother out?
And if you'd help a brother, could you help me, too?
|
| |
|
|
|
Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1084498
Mr. Bri-hamloaf 38,843 10
11/21/2004 01:02 PM
<action>Stares at the wad of Dinars he just spent his savings on</action>
Son of a bitch.
|
| |
|
|
|
Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1084500
DemoMarshmallowSalad 166,252 10
11/21/2004 01:07 PM
Spare a talent for an old ex-leper.?
|
| |
|
|
|
0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1084512
Jokey McSimpsonsMeme 12,005 12
11/21/2004 01:45 PM
My brother bought a dinar on 47th St.
|
| |
|
|
|
0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1084516
Dogs Akimbo 211,379 32
11/21/2004 01:55 PM
This is one of my favorite dinars.
|
| |
|
|
|
0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1084621
Frogpop 173,153 25
11/21/2004 05:59 PM
So here are some pictures of the ongoing framing process: pic1 pic2 pic3
When I'm done with that, I think I may actually get going on that Saddamopoly set, but likely not until I'm done with school and have a little more free time.
|
| |
|
|
|
0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1084680
Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
11/21/2004 08:32 PM
yeah I had 250 diner stapled to my chest at one performance at a haunted house.
you know it's good money becuase it's blood money
|
| |
|
|
|
Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1084807
Frogpop 173,153 25
11/22/2004 08:20 AM
..and nobody ever does bad things with american money, right?
I hear that gang members, drug dealers, and the mob deal exclusively in canadian tire money.
|
|
|
|
Store
