Lunchbox with tha mad oral skillz, yo. 14,650 10
05/03/2004 03:51 PM

w00f?



oh....cube...i get it.

Kittunchops 24,428 11
05/03/2004 03:53 PM

I predict a work-related shooting some time before the end of the day.





We'll miss you No-Key.

KatsMeow 2,401 10
05/03/2004 03:55 PM

"bang on my keyboard so loud"



why must you bang your keyboard?

Are you that hard up?

Scratchy 2,750 12
05/03/2004 03:55 PM

NKB... you are the best! You should let him answer it once and fart in the reciever, then hang up.

Fratberry 282,615 53
05/03/2004 03:55 PM

Post the phone number. Those of us with free long distance on our cell phones could call it too.

Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
05/03/2004 03:59 PM

Nice! That's classic NKB.

Good thing your phones aren't like ours (ours show our name on the display).

godot 15,434 11
05/03/2004 04:05 PM

When he goes to lunch - unplug his network cable.



Make sure the cord is near where he puts his feet. This way - if he doesn't figure it out and calls the it department - he'll be chastised for unplugging it with his feet. Also - if you have a pbx phone system - you can put him on DND (do not disturb).



This most likely will eventually get him fired if he is stupid enough...



Also... change his vm password from the xt number to a random set of digits.



If he doesn't lock his computer - let us know. I'm sure we all can think up some fun things to do...

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
05/03/2004 04:15 PM

(Good Idea godot, but unfortunately we use a wireless network here.)



Update:

He just left my cube after complaining, "Some Emerson has been calling Liz's old number all freakin' afternoon, and doesn't get the clue that she's not here anymore! I'm taking up residence in her old cube until I can catch the idiot who calling and get some sense into him!"



He is currently moving a few of his manuals, laptop and some other essentials into the empty cube. I'm going to wait until he's settled and then start calling his regular cube.

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
05/03/2004 04:17 PM

Put on a sock puppet show over the cube wall.

High Priestess of Stewie licks the marmalade off 58,741 29
05/03/2004 04:18 PM

so awsome NKB

Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
05/03/2004 04:18 PM

I'm going to wait until he's settled and then start calling his regular cube.



Pure Genius!!

superturkey 6,678 0
05/03/2004 04:21 PM

when he's at lunch, plug your keyboard into his tower, and goatse him repeatedly.

Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
05/03/2004 04:22 PM

Can you make a clean get-away with his chair?

Sexual Harassment Panda: Cheesy Goodness since '77 181,718 70
05/03/2004 04:24 PM

Use the fax machine to dial his phone. This is especially entertaining if the fax has an automatic redial feature (in the event of a transmission failure), which most do.

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
05/03/2004 04:28 PM

For the next week, eat nothing but baked beans.

KatsMeow 2,401 10
05/03/2004 04:30 PM

This is insanely hysterical, I can't even get any work done!















Not that I ever do... not since I discovered Zug

Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 286,326 61
05/03/2004 04:33 PM

Nokey is the humor god of 5/3/4.

Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
05/03/2004 04:37 PM

Not that I ever do... not since I discovered Zug



You and me both, it's addicting...

WhoaDude 497 9
05/03/2004 04:37 PM

At the risk of getting caught, you could call his old cube, wait until he's there, then call the one he just left.

superturkey 6,678 0
05/03/2004 04:37 PM

i second chickens.

Fratberry 282,615 53
05/03/2004 05:13 PM

NKB,



Please to be giving the update now.



Thanking you,



Fratberry

KatsMeow 2,401 10
05/03/2004 05:20 PM

I need an update, I havent laughed in like, 20 min

remedialturkey 6,678 0
05/03/2004 05:30 PM

nkb just got off the phone, laughing.



he turned around to find his boss staring at him.



he won't be home for another 30 min. after the boss get's done firing him.

peter dont smoke no leftova crizack 1,850 10
05/03/2004 05:36 PM

haha

it was good while it lasted...

sorry about the job (but this wont stop you from calling him will it?)

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
05/03/2004 05:36 PM

Update:

After about ten minutes of being in the empty cube, our office manager came by and wanted to know why he was there. He began a lengthy explanation of how the calls were annoying him, and to get any work done, he had to move. The manager cut him off mid-rant and told him to move back to his regular cube as she needed the empty cube for a temp. Much grumbling and loud slamming of manuals ensued as he moved back.



I asked him to please keep it down a little, as I was trying to work and he was distracting me.



I am going to hell.

Sexual Harassment Panda: Cheesy Goodness since '77 181,718 70
05/03/2004 05:37 PM

Stay until he leaves tonight. Proceed to move all his stuff back to the empty cube.

peter dont smoke no leftova crizack 1,850 10
05/03/2004 05:38 PM

Frost you turkey.

remedialturkey 6,678 0
05/03/2004 05:40 PM

i hope you had the sense enough to loosen all the screws in his chair while he was gone.

remedialturkey 6,678 0
05/03/2004 05:42 PM

any time peter. just bring your own condoms.

Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
05/03/2004 05:44 PM

SHP has a point. Also has a good idea...

peter dont smoke no leftova crizack 1,850 10
05/03/2004 05:44 PM

condoms are for the ninnies.

real men dont get STDs.

Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 286,326 61
05/03/2004 05:45 PM

If you don't start calling the empty cube the second he gets settled back in his cube I'm writing you out of my will.

superturkey wants the cube next to NKB 6,678 0
05/03/2004 05:49 PM

break down crying when he gets back, saying you thought you were finally free.





then call.

Frogtacular 173,153 25
05/03/2004 09:50 PM

I am going to hell.



but you're going to hell with 3 full pee tubes, which is more than I can say for anyone in the Bush administration.

Lizzie Girl 51 9
05/31/2004 11:35 PM

bumping teh funny to fill the board.

PowBlocks 782 8
05/31/2004 11:53 PM

What's happenin'? Does that guy you're screwing have a red stapler?

Mofo Baggins <FrGr> 10,950 10
06/01/2004 12:07 AM

Hmmm, someone watched Office Space on Lifetime today...

PowBlocks 782 8
06/01/2004 12:08 AM

Office Space?

The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
06/01/2004 07:19 AM

This sounds like a job for Donkey call.

The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
06/01/2004 07:21 AM

It's too bad he didn't get to stay in the other cube. Then you could have started calling his phone.

Gonzo 20,522 17
06/01/2004 08:38 AM

I second the Donkey Call idea. It's a perfect finish.

PowBlocks 782 8
06/01/2004 10:00 AM

I want another update!!



(I just realized that he can't do anything that anyone will notice, or anything that will get him in trouble unless he wants to get fired.) I agree! Let's have a donkey call!

Trixxie the Goddess of Doorknobs 65,021 15
06/01/2004 12:52 PM

What is it about putting relatively sane people into cubes that they become little miss noise premadonas from hell. The personalities in our little corner of cube heaven cannot get a scrape of work done if you make the tinniest little noise; but they can hollar across cubes to enter conversations they over hear that they are not a part of, stay on a personal phone call or five for an hours, scream at clients over the phone etc. There can be no hearable music, which means ear phones only. Better chew and breath softly and God help you if you emit some kind of natural bodily function

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
06/01/2004 01:01 PM

"...emit some kind of natural bodily function"



You're right Trixxie. That guy get's so mad when I urinate in his cube it's not even funny.

newwave 45,912 10
06/01/2004 01:19 PM

I volunteer to donate a FREE Donkey call if NKB either posts this person's number or sends it to me.

Freshly Microwaved FDIC 816 9
06/01/2004 01:26 PM

I realize I'm a month too late, but NKB is tha shizznit fo shizzle.