Sexual Harassment Panda: All Natural Goodness 181,718 70
05/13/2004 06:28 PM

Puggy, I believe I have seen you use the phrase Non Sequitir twice in the last day or so.



What's up wit that?

Pat The Great 948 9
05/13/2004 06:30 PM

Two purple penguins were sitting in an oragne bathtub, when one turns to the other and says. . .



PASS THE TOAST!

PuggyD 48,304 12
05/13/2004 06:30 PM

French words make me sound smart.



Also, my life is fairly random. The phrase comes in handy more often than you'd think.



Also, flapjacks.

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
05/13/2004 06:31 PM

Knock Knock

DeadMic 3,390 10
05/13/2004 06:33 PM

who's there?

High Priestess of Stewie: battling with Briham 58,741 29
05/13/2004 06:37 PM

If your mommy is a washing machine, and your daddy is a dryer, how many doughnuts does it take to build the dog house?

Dags YEAH! 86,684 14
05/13/2004 06:51 PM

THE INTERRUPTING SHEEP!!!!

WhoaDude 497 9
05/13/2004 06:54 PM

There once was a man.

Dags YEAH! 86,684 14
05/13/2004 06:56 PM

Don't be stupid dear.

PuggyD 48,304 12
05/13/2004 06:58 PM

Did Neil Patrick Harris just steal my car?

Geekzilla 954 12
05/13/2004 07:07 PM

CANCER!!!

WhoaDude 497 9
05/13/2004 07:14 PM

What did the bananna say to the frigate?



ZOUNDS!

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
05/13/2004 07:17 PM

Q: Why did the earthling cross the road?





A: He was foolish!

the flying nun 1,412 10
05/13/2004 07:18 PM

FIBERGLASS!!!

PuggyD 48,304 12
05/13/2004 07:18 PM

Bob, that joke was too linear. LINEAR! I call shenanigans.



I'm an albatross. Flap flap flapping my albatross wings.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
05/13/2004 07:21 PM

Q: Why did Sean Connery cross the road?







A: To die, Mr. Bond!

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
05/13/2004 07:24 PM

I don't mind broken logic, but I like at least a slight connection between questions and answer.



For example,

Q: What's your favorite color?



A: 69.

Q: What's your favorite color?



A: I don't know, I've never sliced open a human being before.

Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/13/2004 07:28 PM

How about this, bob:



If a rooster lays an egg on the exact top of a roof, what side will the egg roll down?



To get to the other side!



BWA HA HA HA HA!

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
05/13/2004 07:31 PM

I had a dream where I was filming a snuff video. . . when I woke up, my pillow was dead!

Flourescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/13/2004 07:34 PM

you MONSTER!

Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/13/2004 07:37 PM

A father and his son walk into a bar...



...and then the rabbi says "you didn't tell me he was jewish!".

WhoaDude 497 9
05/13/2004 08:17 PM

Clickies Crazyballs. I MUST remember that one.

Bonky 75,728 15
05/13/2004 08:38 PM

Which one of you mangey varmits shot my dog house?!

Bonky 75,728 15
05/13/2004 08:39 PM

And what the hell is this nonsequitor of which you speak? I mean, COME ON!

Emenius 1,433 10
05/13/2004 11:15 PM

Non Sequitur = It Does Not Follow

ringworm 68,315 13
05/13/2004 11:29 PM

the horse has a steering wheel!

Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
05/13/2004 11:32 PM

If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.

peter dont smoke no leftova crizack 1,850 10
05/13/2004 11:44 PM

two goldfish are in a tank.

one turns to the other and says:

"so... do you know how to drive this thing?"

Sour Cream and Chive Hammerhead 59,399 14
05/14/2004 12:00 AM

This sounds eerily familiar to the Bonky Your Favorite Cliche thread from a long time ago. If search didn't suck, I'd find it.

peter dont smoke no leftova crizack 1,850 10
05/14/2004 12:01 AM

what, you thought i was trying to pass it off that i make all my own jokes?



i havent been here long enough to see it, but i stole it from someone different if it makes ya feel better.

WhoaDude 497 9
05/14/2004 12:04 AM

Whoops, I meant the chicken one, not the one right above my post.







What's the difference between night and day?



Tomatoes.

WhoaDude 497 9
05/14/2004 12:05 AM

Delicious tomatoes

peter dont smoke no leftova crizack 1,850 10
05/14/2004 12:18 AM

dammit!

i exposed my secret for nothing.

howbout this... why did the gabber cross the street? to Frost a fat chick!

Mr.Glass: The Flapjack-Flipping Flap-Ass 25,340 11
05/14/2004 12:32 AM

Man: Hey Morbo, how's the family?

Morbo: BELIGERENT AND NUMEROUS!

Man: Oh...

Livewire 78,229 13
05/14/2004 12:46 AM

Q: How do you fit 19 college freshmen in a phone booth?



A: The sky is made of cardboard!

Livewire 78,229 13
05/14/2004 12:49 AM

Zug search works awesome.

Livewire 78,229 13
05/14/2004 12:51 AM

Q: How far can a goat see?



A: Extreme anal dilation!

Bonky 75,728 15
05/14/2004 08:58 AM

Emenius, I realize you do not know me, this is why I'll tell you, "flapjacks."

Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/14/2004 09:04 AM

Flap Jacks?!? But where is the Nnon-salted butter?!?

Bankey 70,843 10
05/14/2004 09:05 AM

A rabbi, a bear, and a bit of string all walk into a bar, and the bartender says

"Do you really think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?!!??!!!"

studio 2,001 10
05/14/2004 02:59 PM

A baby seal walks into a club.

Deadly Viper Assassination Scotty 5,349 10
05/14/2004 03:06 PM

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Fo' Drizzle."

The Merry Snork 45,655 12
08/09/2004 12:48 PM

How do you kill a little pink elephant?

-With pink bullets.

How do you kill a little blue elephant?

-You paint him pink.

Errol lost teh funny 10,584 9
08/09/2004 01:08 PM

What's Green and has wheels?





Grass. I was just kidding about the wheels.

Robin 14,626 9
08/09/2004 08:32 PM

there were two cows sitting in a tree, a submarine goes by, one cow says, "Why always me?"

Phla Mignon 131,064 34
08/09/2004 08:35 PM

It's awesome when you're about to chew someone out for using a joke that you've told before, only to find out you're reading an old thread, and you're the damn copycat.



Hypothetically, of course.



86 penguins are more than enough.

Declan McManus, Irritated American. 131,869 36
08/09/2004 08:38 PM

Is it 2 ?

Dogs Akimbo 211,379 32
08/09/2004 08:46 PM

When Pontius Akimbus came home alone from walking the dog, his wife asked, "Qua erat Fido?"



"Non sequitur."

Errol lost teh funny 10,584 9
08/09/2004 08:48 PM

And I said...."I don't even OWN and elephant!"

Bonky 75,728 15
08/31/2004 04:50 PM

<action> sheds a tear.</action>



My babies done did growed up.

Bonky 75,728 15
08/31/2004 04:55 PM

I ran over a squirrel today.

Bonky 75,728 15
09/01/2004 07:54 PM

I had a nightmare about that squirrel.



I said I was sorry!

Dogs Akimbo 211,379 32
09/01/2004 07:59 PM

Not even a single clickie for Pontius Akimbus ??

Phla Mignon 131,064 34
09/01/2004 08:06 PM

I'm having trouble pooing today. I hate poo-talk, so the fact that I am saying so should tell you just how much trouble I'm having right now.

Happy Fun Ball 852 9
09/01/2004 10:30 PM

"You have been listening to the ramblings of a baby worm being sucked backwards through a swedish milking machine." Courtesy of an old George Carlin LP that I listened to about 15 years ago..... I...can't... get it out of my HEAD.....

Wondershark - back after long time 279 10
10/26/2004 04:58 AM

A badger walks into a bar. The bartender says

"Hey badger, we don't serve YOUR kind around here."

The badger replies,

"Yeah, but what about menstruation?"

Rаt 2,085 9
10/26/2004 05:47 AM

badger? I barely know her!

Lorenzo Duke 3,183 11
10/26/2004 08:44 AM

A blind, crippled, homeless man approached me on the street yesterday.

"Excuse me Sir," he said, "can you spare a quarter for a cup of coffee?"



So I bit him!

JackMihoff 364 8
10/26/2004 09:51 AM

The Nasdaq fell 10 points today and in other news....doody.

brody 43,090 12
10/26/2004 10:01 AM

A guy walks into a bakery and asks for a loaf of bread.



Baker:brown or white?



Guy: Its okay, Ive got my motorbike outside.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
10/26/2004 12:32 PM

I'm sad. When I started reading this thread today, I thought this was going to be the thread where I first made this joke:



Q: Why did Chickens cross the road?



A: To get Limbaugh some Oxycotin!

Sr Zapato 349 8
10/26/2004 04:12 PM

These pretzels are making me thirsty.



</stolen>

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
10/26/2004 04:15 PM

Focus





Bofus?





This is actually a punch line to a really funny joke I heard years ago.



I just can't remember the joke part.

DemoMonkey 166,252 10
10/26/2004 04:15 PM

100 million Red Chinese walk into a bar...

Jane do this, Jane do that. Jane, don't do that. 173,958 15
10/26/2004 04:19 PM

100 million Red Chinese walk into a bar...



Supplies!

Supreme Apostate 76 8
10/26/2004 07:12 PM

What did the dad say when his son said, 'Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?'



Yo' mama so ugly, they used her face to make animal crackers!

Wondershark - back after long time 279 10
10/27/2004 04:30 AM

Bond gets the seat belt tangled in his dad's SUV



Bond punches a chick and then they have sex



Bond converts to Islam



Bond pays for a candy bar with a check



Neil Diamond is forever

Wondershark - back after long time 279 10
10/27/2004 04:33 AM

um, this is kind of embarassing...I posted in the wrong thread. Oh hell, it's still a non sequitor, screw it.

Sammy Davis Jr's glass eyeball 211,379 32
11/29/2004 11:00 PM

Focus



Bofus?



Once upon a time, two West Virginny girls walked 30 miles into town to visit the new fotee-grafee studio.



When the photograher ducked his head under the cloth of the old camera, the first girl asked, "What's he doing?"



"He's gonna focus."



"What, bofus?"

Napkin, The Happy 30,762 12
11/29/2004 11:22 PM

Eff you in the Ay!

Sylvester 4,465 9
02/22/2005 01:18 AM

What do you get when you get 10 redheads to stand on their heads?



My attention

The Prunetang 701 9
02/22/2005 05:23 AM

What did the GAB member say to the tired old thread?



"Bumped it. Damn near killed it".



In other news, " 'Jeet yet"?????

Idiotboy Megatron 3,355 9
02/22/2005 05:49 AM

Q: What do you get when you put 20 Naked Hot chicks in a locked room.





A: The start of a good porno!

Delicious Lesbian Sea Turtle 156,785 17
02/22/2005 09:46 AM

<action> stands on her head in response to..





What do you get when you get 10 redheads to stand on their heads?

Mr. Sir 66,713 9
02/22/2005 10:33 AM

I got some new underwear yesterday.













Well, new to me anyways.

The guy who rotated your drink 86 4
08/27/2009 08:43 AM

Why did Timmy fall of the swing?

Because Billy threw a fridge at him.

Dude, Where's My Lobstah? 18,560 32
08/27/2009 08:47 AM

When you're walking down the street, carry a club.

You never know when you'll encounter a seal.

FunkyMunky Aka "Weezy" 316 4
08/27/2009 09:22 AM

Sorry this actually makes sense but made me laugh:

I know a guy who called up the Home Shopping Network. They said "Can I help you?" and he said "No, I'm just looking."


Other one:

A guy with a huge orange head goes in to see a doctor.
The doctor says, "How did you get such a huge orange head?"

The guy replies,

"Well, one day I was walking down the beach when I tripped over an old lantern. A genie came out of the lantern and said, "I'll grant you three wishes, whatever you desire!! What is your first wish?"
I said, I'd like all the money I could ever spend.' The genie went Poof!', and there it was, all the money I could ever spend. Then he said, What is your second wish?' I said, I'd like a beautiful woman to love me, someone I could enjoy this money with.' The genie went Poof!', and there she was, a gorgeous girl who immediately loved me. Then the genie said, And what is your third wish?'...and I think this is where I went wrong...I said, I'd like a huge orange head.'"

*leaves thread in shame*

Don't blame me, they're from work colleagues!

Whistler P. McManus 185,899 44
08/27/2009 09:44 AM

Why did Bob Johnson cross the road?

To get to the threaded message board!

Crash Test Dummy 3,671 9
08/27/2009 10:10 AM

Q: What's the difference between an orange?

A: None, since snakes have no handles.

KChikita Banana Box 127,991 98
08/27/2009 10:21 AM

Q: If you're driving your cell phone and the brakes fail, how many leaves does it take to finish a crayon?

A: Wristwatch!

Pop me, I'm Knobby! 169 4
08/27/2009 11:05 AM

Doctor, doctor why did the washing machine fall off the road?
Who's there?
And the barman said "Orange who?"
Because she didn't know how to ride it.

Neophyte 9,956 11
08/27/2009 03:58 PM

"Sometimes I...
...no I don't."

- Steven Wright

Second Hand Piquantrax 972 10
08/27/2009 04:03 PM

What do you get when you cross New Jersey and a phantom limb?

6 Million Jews!

And that's how I met your mother.

What's Goin' Anh? 11,158 14
08/27/2009 04:57 PM

Q: If you're driving your cell phone and the brakes fail, how many leaves does it take to finish a crayon?

A: Wristwatch!

That's a very good point. I didn't know you were so philosophical and gnomic.



Q: What did the sidewalk say to the chicken?

A: "Hello," of course!

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 6,348 4
08/27/2009 07:56 PM

Your face is non-sequitor, you itchy bitch!!!

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
08/27/2009 07:59 PM

What did the dead hooker say to the cab driver?


Nothing, she was in the trunk.

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 6,348 4
08/27/2009 08:03 PM

Non-sequitor means the inside is connected to the turn by the bird's mustache you orange homos?

Mr.Coffee 881 10
08/27/2009 08:55 PM

I was going to post in this thread.

but I was too afrayed.

RaisinBean 151 4
08/28/2009 01:17 AM

If a caterpiller has six legs and a butterfly has four, How long would it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to stomp the seeds out of a dill pickle?

False. motorcycles don't have backdoors.

FunkyMunky Aka "Weezy" 316 4
08/28/2009 05:10 AM

One day a duck goes to cross the road...

A chicken puts his wing out and goes "Wooooah mate, I wouldn't, you won't hear the end of it."

Mr Crabs 305 7
08/28/2009 10:03 AM

When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn't lift himself up...alphabet soup!