Hardrockwank 642 9
05/24/2004 06:13 PM

>>sweet17: Hey sorry



>>sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.



>>bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a



>>picture to send to me.



>>bloodninja: When really you were notifying the





>>authorities.





>>bloodninja: Weren't you!?





>>sweet17: thats not it





>>bloodninja: Then what?





>>sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause





>>I'm not pretty





>>bloodninja: Most cops aren't





>>sweet17: IM NOT A Frost-ing COP YOU DICKShakespeare!





>>bloodninja: Then send me the picture.





>>sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?





>>bloodninja: Just send it through here.





>>sweet17: alright *PIC*





>>sweet17: Did you get it?





>>bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.





>>sweet17: That was me back in may





>>sweet17: I've lost weight since then.





>>bloodninja: I hope so





>>sweet17: what?!?





>>sweet17: that hurt my feelings.





>>bloodninja: Did it?





>>sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.





>>





>>bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you





>>my picture?





>>s! weet17: yes





>>bloodninja: Alright let me find it.





>>sweet17: kks





>>bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*





>>sweet17: this isn't you.





>>bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!





>>sweet17: You don't look like that.





>>bloodninja: How the hell do you know?

Hardrockwank 642 9
05/24/2004 06:13 PM

>>sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.





>>bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.





>>bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.





>>sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol





>>bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh





>>guy....





>>bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.





>>sweet17: Go Frost yourself



>>bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture



>>bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.





>>sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.





>>sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.



>>sweet17: you hurt me.



>bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't



>>hurt me?



>>sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!





>>bloodninja: Why would I do that?



>>! sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you



>>bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his



>>lap..



>>sweet17: Frost YOU!!!



>>bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.



>>sweet17: You're a Frost-ing wanker!



>sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my

>>weight



>>sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even





>>know me





>>bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.





>>sweet17: No you aren't





>>bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.





>>bloodninja: HAARRRRR!





>>sweet17: I'm done with you





>>bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.





>>sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore





>>bloodninja: Wait a sec





>>bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.

Hardrockwank 642 9
05/24/2004 06:14 PM

>>bloodninja: Wanna start over?





>>sweet17: No





>>bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty





>>sweet17: You'll what?





>>bloodninja: You heard me.





>>bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.





>>sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard





>>after seeing my picture





>>bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?





>>sweet17: I'd like to kn! ow that the man eating me out





>>is excited yes





>>bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.





>>bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.





>>sweet17: Like what?





>>bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?





>>sweet17: I don't know





>>bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.





>>sweet17: I'm afraid to





>>bloodninja: Why?





>>sweet17: cause





>>bloodninja: cause why?





>>sweet17: well lets see





>>sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call





>>me fat. then you wanna eat me out





>>sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?





>>bloodninja: Nope





>>sweet17: well its strange to me





>>bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me





>>to





>>sweet17: I didn't say that





>>bloodninja: So is that a yes?





>>sweet17: I guess so.





>>bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited





>>though.

Hardrockwank 642 9
05/24/2004 06:14 PM

>>bloodninja: Are you willing?





>>sweet17: What do you need me to do?





>>bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.





>>sweet17: ???





>>bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HAR!





>>RRR!!! "





>>bloodninja: ok?





>>bloodninja: Hello?





>>sweet17: You can't be serious





>>bloodninja: Oh yes I am!





>>bloodninja: It's my fantasy.





>>sweet17: this is retarded





>>bloodninja: Do you want it or not?





>>sweet17: Yes I want it.





>>bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?





>>sweet17: sure





>>bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.





>>bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to





>>massage your thighs.





>>bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my





>>tounge brushing up against them





>>bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.





>>bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth





>>Carroll.





>>sweet17: mmmm yeah





>>bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.





>>sweet17: Har





>>bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!





>>bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.





>>sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR





>>bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get





>>more moist with every stroke.

Hardrockwank 642 9
05/24/2004 06:14 PM

bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in





>>and out of my mouth.





>>bloodni! nja: Your juices run down my chin as your





>>scent makes its way to my nose.





>>bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your





>>femininity.





>>sweet17: mmmmmm you are good





>>bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I Frost





>>harder





>>bloodninja: going limp





>>sweet17: HARRRRRRR





>>bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my





>>hands.





>>bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.





>>bloodninja: going limp





>>sweet17: this is stupid





>>bloodninja: ...still limp





>>bloodninja: Do it!





>>sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR





>>bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your Emerson.





>>bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your





>>ass.





>>bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair





>>around your ass.





>>sweet17: WTF?!?!?





>>bloodninja: They stink really bad.





>>sweet17: OMG STOP!!!





>>bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass





>>bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.



>>bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.



>>sweet17: YOURE A Frost-ing PYSCHO!!



>>blood! ninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.



>>bloodninja: And turn you into a Frost-ing candy apple...



>>bloodninja: I kick you in the face!



>>sweet17: Frost YOU DICKHEAD!!



>>bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheekShakespeares the



>>side of the cabin...



>>bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.



>>bloodninja: ...going limp again.



>>bloodninja: Hello?



>>bloodninja: Say it!



>>bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
05/24/2004 06:17 PM

Good olord. She must be really bad looking if she held out that long.



HARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
05/24/2004 06:18 PM

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
05/24/2004 06:21 PM

At least the people who have copied and pasted that here on GAB before had the decency to get rid of the stupid forwarding marks and extra spaces. I'm giving you a demerit, hardwanker. Keep it up, and you'll find yourself in detention with the nutz brothers.

Philly Cream Cheese Cake Sexual Harassment Panda 181,718 70
05/24/2004 06:22 PM

um.



What?

Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/24/2004 06:24 PM

I'm not going to read that.

Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
05/24/2004 06:27 PM

here... less painful to read

The High Priestess likes her Orlandos naked 58,741 29
05/24/2004 06:27 PM

Wanker! I told you not to show this to the people of Gab!

Philly Cream Cheese Cake Sexual Harassment Panda 181,718 70
05/24/2004 06:38 PM

So, Hardrockwank, was it fun to make the pirate noises?

Mofo Baggins <FrGr> 10,950 10
05/24/2004 08:52 PM

I admit you could have formatted beter, but the content, my God! Clickies for you.

peter eater 1,850 10
05/24/2004 09:05 PM

what the Frost dude



that wouldve been pretty funny, had you condensed it into a small paragraph.

ringworm 68,315 13
05/24/2004 10:02 PM

or had you posted it a year ago.

Dags YEAH! 86,684 14
05/24/2004 11:30 PM

It's TONGUE!

Wonder Bread 3,319 10
05/24/2004 11:33 PM

So who's up for some cybersex?

The Llama lurves Orlando Bloom 7,194 10
05/24/2004 11:34 PM

Ya gotta make the pirate noise to get me in the mood first.

Wonder Bread 3,319 10
05/24/2004 11:36 PM

I'll start. I unzip my bell bottoms and then I take off my fly shades. And then I ogle at your breasts. UNTIL I EXPLODE IN MY PANTS. Ok, who's next?

Wonder Bread 3,319 10
05/24/2004 11:38 PM

DAMN! Seems like I didnt get to start... Arrrggg you make me mad Llama!!

Quang 138 9
05/25/2004 01:54 AM

Aye ye buxom lass! I see Ye have some fine cannons! I'm going to draw my cutlas and board your ship! AVAST!

Nachos - <Insert tag line here> 57,521 23
05/25/2004 05:45 AM

It seems oddly appropriate for a thread like this to be started by someone with the word 'wank' in their name...



Appropriate on so many levels...

Fratberry 282,615 53
05/25/2004 11:19 AM

I wish Virn were here to see this.

BIGSEXYJOHN 0 8
05/25/2004 05:01 PM

This is priceless!

Hammerhead BobJohnson 59,399 14
05/25/2004 05:08 PM

You spelled p-o-i-n-t-l-e-s-s wrong.

Flourescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/25/2004 05:13 PM

sweet17: That was me back in may. I've lost weight since then.



bloodninja: I hope so





Comedy Platinum!!

i was on the phone with a customer when i read that.. Yikes.

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
05/25/2004 06:35 PM

I'v tried the whole "cyber-sex" thing. It's just that my penis wont fit into the slot! Its a little bigger than a 3 1/2 floppy I'll tell you that.

ringworm felipe 68,315 13
05/25/2004 07:49 PM

try turning it sideways.

superturkey 6,678 0
05/26/2004 03:19 AM

'bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey'



you Emerson, why'd you have to bring it up?

Millie 116,984 28
01/24/2006 08:20 PM

<action>puts on hip-waders</action>