The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
05/24/2004 06:34 PM

"Suck my Coleridge, bitch."

Philly Cream Cheese Cake Sexual Harassment Panda 181,718 70
05/24/2004 06:34 PM

STFU



or



SUYT

Philly Cream Cheese Cake Sexual Harassment Panda 181,718 70
05/24/2004 06:36 PM

Upon closer inspection, I find that my above post applied in two different ways. Please know, both were intended.

Prophecy 0 0
05/24/2004 06:37 PM

Apparently anything because your ex told them that daddy was a Frost-ing loser that needs to go to jail and be anally raped every night.

deadmike 3,390 10
05/24/2004 06:41 PM

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?







Do you like movies about gladiators?

Scratchy 2,750 12
05/24/2004 06:56 PM

needs to go to jail and be anally raped every night.



So how is that going fo you?

IceScreamCone 280 9
05/24/2004 06:58 PM

"how do you feel about kidnapping?"

The Llama lurves Orlando Bloom 7,194 10
05/24/2004 07:17 PM

Wanna see tubgirl and the goatse man?

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
05/24/2004 07:17 PM

"If you tell mommy or daddy what just happened, Santa will die."

Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/24/2004 07:24 PM

"Have your parents told you you were adopted yet?"



"I'm gonna Frost you up, kid!"



"C'mon, just touch it."

The High Priestess likes her Orlandos naked 58,741 29
05/24/2004 07:26 PM

'If you ever touch Uncle Franks' pipe again, the purple monkeys will get you when you sleep!" -Actual quote

Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/24/2004 07:29 PM

A statement like that makes you wonder what was in the pipe.

The High Priestess likes her Orlandos naked 58,741 29
05/24/2004 07:31 PM

That's why I picked it up. It sure as hell didn't smell like tobacco.

Mofo Baggins <FrGr> 10,950 10
05/24/2004 07:34 PM

Pyro, if you're going to ruin boards like that, at least learn to type! Stupid goofyShakespeare. Parkinson's patients type better than that!

Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/24/2004 07:41 PM

goofyShakespeare should be two words.

Mofo Baggins <FrGr> 10,950 10
05/24/2004 07:43 PM

"Bring uncle Frank a beer and his magazines, Jimmy. It's been a long day and I need to rub one out."

Mofo Baggins <FrGr> 10,950 10
05/24/2004 07:44 PM

goofyShakespeare should be two words - Not if you're from Oklahoma. If you're an Okie it's perfectly acceptable to run anystring of words together. You don't even need a hypen.

The High Priestess likes her Orlandos naked 58,741 29
05/24/2004 07:46 PM

I've never heard of a hypen. Is that made by BIC?

Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/24/2004 07:48 PM

Oh, your from Oklahoma? in that case, goFrostyourself.

Mofo Baggins <FrGr> 10,950 10
05/24/2004 07:51 PM

It's Oklahoma. Like I have anything better to do. Back in five.

The High Priestess likes her Orlandos naked 58,741 29
05/24/2004 07:52 PM

no one cares if you go.

Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/24/2004 07:54 PM

Infact, people hope you don't come back.

Mofo Baggins <FrGr> 10,950 10
05/24/2004 08:00 PM

If I wasn't here, then this thread wouldn't be here, and you'd have nothing to bitch about. You're a pretty pissy person. I've come to realize one truth over time. One thing, more than your enviornment, your friends, your social status, or anything else, determines your personality: the physical characteristics of your genetalia. You my friend, obviously have a very small,and probably very ugly package.

The High Priestess likes her Orlandos naked 58,741 29
05/24/2004 08:04 PM

Most intersting MoFo, what's more intersting is that I didn't read that.

Mofo Baggins <FrGr> 10,950 10
05/24/2004 08:14 PM

I don't have to defend my self to you! Say what you want. I've been largely ripping on myself anyway. Needledicks

Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/24/2004 08:22 PM

<action>hands Mofo a tissue

The High Priestess likes her Orlandos naked 58,741 29
05/24/2004 08:24 PM

I don't care if you choose to defend yourself. Such a nice comment, needledick. Really, it was. Except I am a girl. Read a profile or two before you start throwing insults around.

Mofo Baggins <FrGr> 10,950 10
05/24/2004 08:29 PM

I knew you were I girl. That doesn't mean you still don't have a little pecker in your panties. But back to the thread topic....

Mofo Baggins <FrGr> 10,950 10
05/24/2004 08:30 PM

* a girl

Sheldwyn 14,626 9
05/24/2004 08:49 PM

things you shouldn't say around children:



Maui wowie or yukon gold tonight honey?

Tom Brokaw and the Cork Soakers 2,131 10
05/24/2004 08:58 PM

Sucky sucky 5 dolla.

Mofo Baggins <FrGr> 10,950 10
05/24/2004 09:02 PM

To eight-year-old:



"Jimmy! I don't ever want to see you rub yourself there again! You know your grandpa died because he sliped jerking off in the shower."

Tom Brokaw and the Cork Soakers 2,131 10
05/24/2004 09:03 PM

We don't want to know your personal life. That was a little too specific.

Sheldwyn 14,626 9
05/24/2004 09:14 PM

your mommy can't talk right now son, her mouth is full.

peter eater 1,850 10
05/24/2004 09:20 PM

no, thats not a pretty vase...

IceScreamCone 280 9
05/24/2004 10:32 PM

Wanna touch my monkey? (you can say that if you do or do not have a monkey)

Trae: Kimmy Gibbler is a Whore 156,785 17
05/24/2004 11:16 PM

"Mommy drinks because you cry"

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/06/2005 08:36 PM

"Ok, now put daddy's banana in your mouth...shhhh don't tell anyone...this will be our little secret...If you tell anyone..we can't play together anymore."







So. I've. Heard.

Clint McSahara HotPants 19,555 11
06/06/2005 08:57 PM

"Ok, now put daddy's banana in your mouth...shhhh don't tell anyone...this will be our little secret...If you tell anyone..we can't play together anymore."



Hmm, associating traumatic events in a child's life to food can in some cases lead to eating disorders, which generally means excessive eating or unwillingness to eat.



..but luckily your daughter doesn't seem to have such problems....

AussieSarah 8,390 9
06/06/2005 09:04 PM

"Your entire family are the biggest bunch of Emersons , they can rot in hell for all I care"

When said to your S/O within a 10 mile radius of your kids will result in the kids repeating this at the most inopportune time.

23 Flavours of Megatron 3,355 9
06/06/2005 09:07 PM

Kid: Mommie where do baby's come from?



Mother: Drunken Accidents Honey!

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/06/2005 09:11 PM

"You're adopted."

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
06/06/2005 09:13 PM

Hey kids, this is my friend, Oliver Chest.

23 Flavours of Megatron 3,355 9
06/06/2005 09:28 PM

I'm sorry son, but we couldn't find a suitible babbysitter for the night and Mommie and Daddy need to get Frostedup tonight so your staying at Micheal Jackson's(or insert catholic priests name here) house tonight.

Dr. McRib 13,155 9
06/06/2005 09:37 PM

"Kids, I know your mom and I are divorced now, but if she ever starts dating anyone, I swear to God I'll kill them both. Just remember, your daddy O.J. loves you."

gwallaia 3,510 12
06/06/2005 09:52 PM

Daddy drinks because you cry.

gwallaia 3,510 12
06/06/2005 09:53 PM

Nevermind, I see Mommy already is drinking.

supergrover 4,517 9
06/07/2005 01:06 AM

My friend Rachel was working one day and little annoying kids kept yelling and screaming and looking at her. This went on for a good ten minutes. When their dad walked off she leaned over the counter and said, "You're parents don't love you and you were adopted."



P-R-I-C-E-L-E-S-S

newwave 45,912 10
06/07/2005 01:08 AM

Then, my friend Oliver, who was also working that day, invited the kids to go to "band camp" with him to console them. Oh, the hilarity!

Minion O' Mally 52 8
06/07/2005 01:27 AM

"Wow- you really do look just like the milkman!"

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/07/2005 07:33 AM

"Oh God...I'm cumming!"

Rep. Jep Rep. 007 58,753 13
06/07/2005 07:56 AM

Nothing on Beavis and Butthead should be said in front of the children, at least according to my daughter's daycare teacher after my daughter pulled the back of her shirt up over her head, put her arms up at 90 degree angles and demanded, "ARE YOU THREATENING ME!?!?!?"

AussieSarah 8,390 9
06/07/2005 08:02 AM

"Oh God...I'm cumming!"



I've never understood why men feel the necessity to tell God this...

Clint McSahara HotPants 19,555 11
06/07/2005 10:08 AM

I've never understood why men feel the necessity to tell God this...



Actually, this is a triumphant exclamation directed at the Lord that despite his best efforts we still managed to get into a situation where reproduction is possible. It's like "In your face, Lord!"

















Now, get with the "in her face"-jokes, people.

DemoMonkey, Mr Contributes-nothing-to- the-world. 166,252 10
06/07/2005 10:17 AM

"You are the son of god, sent to earth to redeem mankinds sins with the blood and suffering of your crucifixion.



Now eat your peas."

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/07/2005 10:20 AM

"I bet you can't hold your breath under water for more than two minutes."

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
06/07/2005 10:21 AM

Pokeman are fags.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/07/2005 10:24 AM

Blaise, it's Pokemon.







Shut up! I have a little brother!

Rаt 2,085 9
06/07/2005 10:24 AM

"Oh God...I'm cumming!"



I've always thought this was a phrase only women used.



It's not like men could actually predict it that far ahead, and by the time they've said the words, it would be well and truly over.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
06/07/2005 10:27 AM

No officer, I'm not drunk. I had like 3 or 4 beers but that was like an hour ago and I'm ok to drive.

Rаt 2,085 9
06/07/2005 10:27 AM

"Oh God...I'm cumming!"



I never thought men said this, as there really isn't enough time to say anything.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/07/2005 10:28 AM

Yeah Rat, we heard you the first time.

Mr Fook 4,016 9
06/07/2005 10:29 AM

Son, when the big scary biker guy knocks on our door tell him daddy's gone to the bank.

syncope 49,019 14
06/07/2005 10:47 AM

I don't Frost-ing care if it's your first lemonade stand or not I want my god damn money back!

Ortzy 178 8
06/07/2005 11:06 AM

If your child has problems with constipation, don't tell them they can't eat certain foods because of the problem. If you do, they are gauranteed to exclaim loudly as you walk through the grocery store - "I can't have that it makes my poops hard"

Orfinked Chickens 286,326 61
06/07/2005 11:23 AM

"No, you can't go to your Aunt Margaret's house. She's a drunk"



"He says I can't come over cause you're a drunk."



".....are you on the phone?

The Lord of the Cows 0 7
06/07/2005 11:42 AM

Hmm...



I guess the worst (or best, depending on the point of view) thing you can say to a kid is "You're ugly and nobody likes you." over and over again.



That may give him/her some pretty nasty problems and, if you're lucky, you may even destroy any chances this particular child might have of having a social life.



Hooray for you.

Minion O' Mally 52 8
06/07/2005 01:17 PM

"That may give him/her some pretty nasty problems and, if you're lucky, you may even destroy any chances this particular child might have of having a social life."



Worked on you, huh?

Aroungry Aroungry Aimless 54,807 10
06/07/2005 01:21 PM

Don't worry honey, he's not really your Daddy anyway.

gorckat: Captain of the USS Obvious 41,132 13
06/07/2005 01:30 PM

When I was 12: "<Sister A> was just a way for your mother to keep her father around."



When I was 16: "<Sister B> was just a way for your mother to keep me around"



Well what the Frost was I, Shakespearehead?



Sorry, I'm all better now that I got that off my chest.



Now, where did I leave that razor blade?

Orfinked Chickens 286,326 61
06/07/2005 01:52 PM

If you wet your bed, the monster under your bed will smell it and come out and bite off your pee pee. Just look at your poor sister. She had to learn the hard way.

Chocolate Enigma 159 7
06/07/2005 02:06 PM

Of course you can play on the powerlines with the birdies.

The Lord of the Cows 0 7
06/07/2005 02:21 PM

"Worked on you, huh?"



Nope, no one ever told me anything like that.



People tend to avoid calling other people ugly when they actually ARE ugly. That would be plain rude.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/07/2005 02:23 PM

"Just relax and enjoy it, because there is nothing anyone can do at that point."

lupience 26,981 11
06/07/2005 06:54 PM

"Mommy, I don't want to see Grandma."



"Shut up, and keep digging."

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
06/07/2005 07:40 PM

Here

lupience 26,981 11
06/07/2005 11:18 PM

"Mommy, Look at that man's eyes!"





"Shut up, and eat around them."

Errol 10,584 9
06/08/2005 12:21 AM

"Keep sucking, sweetie, it's like a gusher, only with white sticky juice."

lupience- Toilet Repairer for the Gods 26,981 11
06/08/2005 12:25 AM

I only have the authority to clickie funny Shakespeare on other threads.

supergrover 4,517 9
06/08/2005 03:03 AM

Baby, would you like to try some pearl jam?

newwave 45,912 10
06/08/2005 03:18 AM

"Yeah, that's ZUG, Z-U-G-dot-com."



Soon followed by the child in question running to the bathtub to see if they can make a cool fountain like that tub girl they saw...

Mikebarta 12 7
06/08/2005 06:04 AM

The world is gonna end,... and you are the cause of it.

Sylvester 4,465 9
06/11/2005 12:31 AM

Listen, Timmy, when Mr. Jackson came here for the sleep-over, he had a glove on. When he left, I found it under your pillow. You have some explaining to do.