Fratberry BobJohnson 282,615 53
05/25/2004 11:43 AM

<action>gives example</action>



Foolish Earthings!

Professor Nutbutter BobJohnson 181,311 35
05/25/2004 11:50 AM

Hey look at me, I'm Canadian! Here is a thread aboot those zany Canadian polititians that you Americans wont care aboot! Wacky wacky wacky! Zany zany zany!



*eats poutine, drinks a Molsen, Frosts a moose, sleeps soundly at night with the knoledge that good ol' Uncle Sam is there to protect us*



Also, I am Nutbutter's love slave.

Gavvo BobJohnson 1,789 12
05/25/2004 11:55 AM

<action>climbs into beer vat</action>GEEZ! I gotta take a leak so bad I can taste it!

SAVIORA BobJohnson 666 10
05/25/2004 11:56 AM

Hail to the Space Admiral; may his bones hold up in zero g.



Shoot me.

deadmikeBobJohnson 3,390 10
05/25/2004 11:56 AM

Here's me: Hey! I'm BobJohnson! I'm Canadian and unemployed! I've got something funny to say!



Here's you: *click*

Fratberry BobJohnson 282,615 53
05/25/2004 12:01 PM

Q: What does a Goal Keeper and a Quebec girl have in common?

A: Both change their pads after three periods...

Fratberry BobJohnson 282,615 53
05/25/2004 12:02 PM

Wait a minute, that didn't make any sense.

Gavvo BobJohnson 1,789 12
05/25/2004 12:06 PM

C-eh-N-eh-D-eh and that's how we spell Canada, eh?

Bankey BobJohnson 70,843 10
05/25/2004 12:11 PM

For your convenience, I've marked all the funny posts with darth vader's head, so click click away!

SHP BobJohnson 181,718 70
05/25/2004 12:11 PM

For your convenience, I've marked all the funny posts with a picture of Darth Vader.



































Wait! That didn't make any sense!

No_Key_Bandit BobJohnson 76,490 10
05/25/2004 12:31 PM

Brad nails!

No_Key_Bandit BobJohnson 76,490 10
05/25/2004 12:31 PM

(crap! Wrong Canadian!)

SHP BobJohnson 181,718 70
05/25/2004 12:36 PM

<action>posts randomly</action>

The High Priestess Bob Johnson 58,741 29
05/25/2004 12:52 PM

Happy Birthday Bob!











Oh wait....

ringworm felipe 68,315 13
05/25/2004 12:56 PM

sorry i'm late. did i miss anything?

Dead BobJohnson Robot 67,630 16
05/25/2004 12:57 PM

I would just like to say you should never throw up on a policeman.

Jantastic BobJohnson 10,022 10
05/25/2004 01:10 PM

Blah blah blah unemployed blah blah politics blah move your damn chess pieces blah blah foolish earthlings blah blah beer.



Did I miss anything?

Chickens' Bobbed Johnson 286,326 61
05/25/2004 01:13 PM

that's no kilt, for ye unwashed masses

Jantastic BobJohnson 10,022 10
05/25/2004 01:19 PM

DAMN YOU, SPOON!

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
05/25/2004 01:21 PM

Some day I am going to move to Canada and find Bob Johnson. Then I am going to kill him with a hammer and eat his brain so I may absorb his soul. That's how much I love him.

Gavvo BobJohnson 1,789 12
05/25/2004 01:29 PM

Since we are honoring a Canadian, we really should be posting in both of the official languages of Canada, English and French.



Puisque nous honorons un Canadien, nous vraiment devrions poster dans les deux des langues officielles de Canada, l'anglais et le franais.

SHP BobJohnson 181,718 70
05/25/2004 01:31 PM

In that case, yoplait and croissant!

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
05/25/2004 01:33 PM

I used to like to read the Frosties box in French. I thought it would help me learn the language, but those frogs use the apostrophe like it was going out of style.

Mr.Glass: The Flapjack-Flipping Flap-Ass 25,340 11
05/25/2004 01:34 PM

And the end of the world came on Tuesday.

25,340 11
05/25/2004 01:35 PM

I do declare!

styrofoam peanut BobJohnson 4,212 10
05/25/2004 01:37 PM

I don't think I even understand my own jokes.

Fratberry BobJohnson 282,615 53
05/25/2004 01:37 PM

Q : Pourquoi les Canadiens vissent-ils le doggy-modle ?



A : Tellement tous les deux peuvent observer le jeu d'hockey.







Merci, I'll soit ici toute la semaine.

styrofoam peanut BobJohnson 4,212 10
05/25/2004 01:38 PM

That damn twit headed girl icon!

Mr.Glass: The Flapjack-Flipping Flap-Ass 25,340 11
05/25/2004 01:39 PM

<action>weeps openly</action>

Inukchuck!

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
05/25/2004 01:40 PM

"I used to like to read the Frosties box in French."



This is much more funny if you assume the swearbot has been at work.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
05/25/2004 01:45 PM

Parts of Maine are semi-Canadian. It really added a lot to who I am to be able to watch Kids in the Hall twice on CBC and then twice on Comedy Central when I was more wee. Comedy Central used to be called "Ha!" until it merged with HBO's Comedy Channel, when it then became "Comedy Television" for about three days and finally Comedy Central. Comedy Central: Where 80's movies you never heard of go to die.

The Mailman 176,432 56
05/25/2004 01:46 PM

"Pourquoi les Canadiens vissent-ils le doggy-modle ?"

I just love these automated translation tools. Here's the same joke, written in French and translated to English with an automated tool:



Q : Why Americans make do love out of greyhound bitch?



A : So that they all can look at them the part of hockey!

Fratberry BobJohnson 282,615 53
05/25/2004 01:48 PM

That sounds more like the French to Ebonics/Jar Jar Binks translation.

SHP BobJohnson 181,718 70
05/25/2004 01:48 PM

And the end of the world came on Tuesday.



And I feel fine.

styrofoam peanut BobJohnson 4,212 10
05/25/2004 01:50 PM

I hear Persia has a lot of cats. Shall we liberate them?

KatsMeowBobJohnson 19 9
05/25/2004 01:55 PM

Happy Bob Johnson Day!! I shall herby not answer any of my co-workers unless they call me KatBob Johnson.

SHP BobJohnson 181,718 70
05/25/2004 01:56 PM

When all is said and done, I think you should leave your name KatBob.

Mr.Glass: The Flapjack-Flipping Flap-Ass 25,340 11
05/25/2004 02:00 PM

I'll bob your kat...



Raow...?

Fratberry BobJohnson 282,615 53
05/25/2004 02:08 PM

"Damnit, Donk. You forgot the semi-colons. Now I can't whack off. Stupid compliler."

SHP BobJohnson 181,718 70
05/25/2004 02:13 PM

<action>posts this joke in honor of BJ Day. </action>

While drinking in a New York bar, a Canadian gets a call on his cell phone. Hanging up, smiling big, he orders a round of drinks for everyone in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Canadian baby boy, weighing in at 25 lbs!



Nobody can believe a baby can weigh 25 lbs at birth. One woman even faints due to sympathy pains. The Canadian shrugs and explains, "That's pretty typical up North, folks. Typical Canadian baby boy."



Two weeks later the same Canadian comes in the bar. The bartender explains, "Everybody's been makin' bets about how big that baby would be in two weeks. So how much does he weigh now?"



The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds." The bartender is puzzled & concerned. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born." The Canadian father takes a slow swig from his Molson Canadian, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender & proudly says, "Had him circumcised".

SAVIORA BobJohnson 666 10
05/25/2004 02:19 PM

There is no spoon.







Well, now, anyway...

KatBob 2,401 10
05/25/2004 02:23 PM

There you go, happy? Sorry, no bobbing my kat today.

Hammerhead BobJohnson 59,399 14
05/25/2004 02:46 PM

And what better way to celebrate BobJohnson day than by buying one of these!



Or any of these for that matter.

Chickens' Bobbed Johnson 286,326 61
05/25/2004 02:55 PM

And the end of the world came on Tuesday.



*makes resaurant reservations*

Chickens' Bobbed Johnson 286,326 61
05/25/2004 02:55 PM

restaurant, dammit

The Llama lurves BobJohnson (for today) 7,194 10
05/25/2004 04:08 PM

Forget BobJohnson day. Let's make it BJ day, as SHP put it.

I no longer desire to be SHP 181,718 70
05/25/2004 04:10 PM

Frost it. Today can be steak and blowjob day.

The Mailman 176,432 56
05/25/2004 04:10 PM

Let's make it BJ day



... as in "steak and BJ" ?

The Mailman 176,432 56
05/25/2004 04:11 PM

Damnit !

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
05/25/2004 04:14 PM

Can tomorrow be Bear day?

Hammerhead BobJohnson 59,399 14
05/25/2004 04:22 PM

You'll have to ask Declan.

Fratberry BobJohnson 282,615 53
05/25/2004 04:25 PM

<action>channels TTJ</action>

Hey there where ya goin',

Not exactly knowin'

Who says you have to call just one place home.

He's goin' everywhere,

B.J. McKay and his best friend Bear.



He just keeps on movin',

Ladies keep improvin'

Every day is better than the last.

New dreams and better scenes,

And best of all I don't pay property tax.



Rollin' down to Dallas,

Who's providin' my palace,

Off to New Orleans or who knows where.

Places new and ladies, too,

I'm B.J. McKay and this is my best friend Bear.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
05/25/2004 04:26 PM

Gotta love a show about a man and a monkey.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
05/25/2004 04:49 PM

Now there's a concept I can get behind.

Bankey 70,843 10
05/25/2004 05:18 PM

<action>queues up "Suzanee"</action>

Fratberry BobJohnson 282,615 53
05/25/2004 05:38 PM

<action>queues up Peanut Butter Jelly Time</action>

Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/25/2004 05:41 PM

Will the real BobJohnson, please stand up?

Bankey 70,843 10
05/25/2004 05:47 PM

<action>Shoots Fratberry for getting that song stuck in his head again after he had it surgically removed</action>

The Llama lurves BobJohnson (for today) 7,194 10
05/25/2004 05:48 PM

I thought about posting that for a while, but decided not to. I wonder how many clickies I just missed out on... And by saying that, I believe I have guaranteed you quite a few, crazyballs.

Crazyballs 11,888 10
05/25/2004 05:51 PM

Aparently it wasn't funny enough for you to click. Good thing I don't care about clickies.



Really, I don't.



C'mon, just click it. You know you want to..

BobliveJohnsonwire 78,229 13
05/25/2004 09:18 PM

It's raining. I just unclogged the gutters.

816 9
05/25/2004 09:21 PM

So Bob. How big's your Johnson?

Freshly Microwaved FDIC 816 9
05/25/2004 09:22 PM

Damn it.

peter eater 1,850 10
05/25/2004 09:46 PM

hi im bob johnson!



now give me half a pee tube like every other post.

BobJohnson, Medieval Knight 178,045 22
05/25/2004 11:05 PM

The one day I'm not on GAB for 14 hours straight and I miss this! Geez!



I wish to make love to each and every one of you.



Um. . . women first.

Fratberry BobJohnson 282,615 53
05/26/2004 12:44 AM

In lieu of all the sex, I'll take massive amounts of clickies.



You know, on account of it being Tuesday.

Fratberry 282,615 53
05/26/2004 01:08 AM

I see thy plan hath worketh'd to perfection.

The Future Mrs. Llama Bloom 7,194 10
05/26/2004 01:12 AM

And so BobJohnson day comes to an end. It was nice and full of pee. We should do this more often.

BobJohnson, Medieval Knight 178,045 22
05/26/2004 01:24 AM

I think it's on for another 1.5 hours, since Bob abides by the laws of "Mountain Standard Time," not "Eastern Zug Time."



Incidently, although I may be a little bit biased, this is one of the funniest threads ever. I should have counted how many clickies I gave out. . . and then bragged to Prophecy about it.

Fratberry BobJohnson 282,615 53
05/26/2004 01:32 AM

<action>puts mask on one more time</action>

Technically there are 24 hours in a day so its really yours until roughly 11am eastern.



My mask smells funny.

Llunch Llady Lloyd, Bobbing for Johnsons 48,662 14
05/26/2004 03:31 PM

Did I miss it?

Fratberry 282,615 53
01/11/2005 01:36 PM

Sy,



SUCK IT.



Sincerely,



Fratberry

evreet, formerly Sy the Photo Guy 6,547 10
01/11/2005 01:44 PM

Sorry, frat, but I don't have my magnifying glass or tweezers with me!

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
01/11/2005 01:45 PM

I don't wanna say it, because it is so cliche, but goddamnit, this thread is awesome.

THGLASS 1138 25,340 11
01/11/2005 04:36 PM

And they oppose free clickie threads.



Textual auto-fellatio.

Jane's so good, she'd make a dead man cum 173,958 15
01/11/2005 04:37 PM

I gotta back my dad up here. Kind of.BobJohnson is funny. Funny=clickies. Getting clickies because of the use of the word "awesome" is not cool. I think he's just sick of people getting random clickies because of schticks. And I agree with him there there 100 percent. We shouldn't be handing out clickies for schticks.





So, does anyone want to hear about my one armed kid?

evreet, formerly Sy the Photo Guy 6,547 10
01/11/2005 06:28 PM

I think he's just sick of people getting random clickies because of schticks.



I don't give a flying hairy Frost one way or the other for clickies OR mahas. Schtick would be OK, IF IT WAS FUNNY! What I object to is all this fawning over Bob about how "awesome" he is, when most of the posts by him that I've read were NOT FUNNY!. OK, I sometimes lay a egg with my posts, too, but I don't go around telling everybody how "awesome" I am (even though I sometimes am).

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
01/11/2005 06:59 PM

I don't get where all this animosity towards Bob is coming from. Take away the fact that he is planning on killing and eating all of humankind, and taking over the earth, he's a pretty nice guy.

BobJohnson, President of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
01/11/2005 07:51 PM

Anyone who doesn't think my posts are hilarious is obviously not reading them in a wacky Russian accent.

THGLASS 1138 25,340 11
01/11/2005 10:19 PM

Taking over the world is my shtick, and I will raise my rapacious army of Rape-bots to keep it.

Everett, a.k.a. Sy the Photo Guy 6,547 10
01/11/2005 10:43 PM

Anyone who doesn't think my posts are hilarious is obviously not reading them in a wacky Russian accent.



That elicited a smile, Bob! A small one, but a smile. No out loud guffaw, but it's a start.

Uh-oh Army 710 0
11/18/2005 07:13 PM

There are too many Bob Johnsons.



We'll have to start naming them like Bob Johnson A to Bob Johnson ZZZZZZZ, but there will only be one Bob Johnson.

Uh-oh Army 710 0
11/18/2005 07:14 PM

That didn't make sense.



What I meant was there is only one true Bob Johnsn, I think.

Senior Destructor....OF CRANBERRY SAUCE! 60,724 12
11/18/2005 07:15 PM

You're an idiot.

Fratberry 282,615 53
06/19/2006 06:19 PM

WE MISSED BOB JOHNSON DAY!! Stupid american calendars. Frost.

Straw of The Late BobJohnson 97,833 37
06/19/2006 08:43 PM

yeah, I got nothin

Win/Mac Midgets 96,054 48
06/19/2006 08:50 PM

I don't have an Hawaian shirt so I drew flowers on a plain T.



I'm going to get plowed and grope a young girl and/or farm animal*.



And I'm going to do it twice to make up for missing that-most-holy-of-day.

















*Probably a young girl as they're much easier to run down and sedate.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
06/20/2006 10:23 AM

The only bad thing about this thread is that it's hard to CTRL-F for the best posts, if you know what I mean.

Fratberry 282,615 53
10/11/2006 09:44 PM

I see Bob's biggest polesmoker fan over there so I figured I'd give him some whacking off reading material.

Sinn Féin BobJohnson 7,400 0
10/11/2006 09:48 PM

Yeah, I'm just posting for the clickies. So click away!



















Guys?

Bankey 70,843 10
10/11/2006 10:41 PM

You know some people call Fratberry an antagonist...



























































What? What are you looking for down here? That was it.

Fratberry 282,615 53
10/11/2006 10:47 PM

I don't know what the hell you're talking about dude. I totally believe in God.

Jihad Joe- The Real Arabian Hero 6,067 8
10/11/2006 10:55 PM

I thought December 25th was Bob Johnson day.

Fratberry 282,615 53
10/11/2006 10:56 PM

A lot of people make that mistake but, no, he was born sometime in the spring.

Jihad Joe- The Real Arabian Hero 6,067 8
10/11/2006 10:58 PM

Oh yeah! December 25th is his SON'S birthday.



My bad.