Llunch Llady Lloyd, Bobbing for Johnsons 48,662 14
05/28/2004 03:09 PM

Bring your father.

SHP made someone's funny list. 181,718 70
05/28/2004 03:09 PM

Make out all hot and heavy, then tell him you're a man. Show him your penis.

KatsMeows 2,401 10
05/28/2004 03:10 PM

So then you're saying I should wear my strap-on?

Llunch Llady Lloyd, Bobbing for Johnsons 48,662 14
05/28/2004 03:11 PM

When he reaches to cop a feel, shoot him in the head.

Balls Deep 194 9
05/28/2004 03:12 PM

Let him get you pregnant. That'll teach him.



Everyone would be laughing for years to come.

SHP made someone's funny list. 181,718 70
05/28/2004 03:14 PM

wear my strap-on

Yeah. Um, so anyway, what are you doing the night after your date? I could come over and um, talk to you about it.

KatsMeows 2,401 10
05/28/2004 03:20 PM

Nothing, why are you asking? *wink*

superturkey 6,678 0
05/28/2004 03:21 PM

just cancel because you caught a bunch of ants and spiders, and want to make them go to war.

KatsMeows 2,401 10
05/28/2004 03:23 PM

I need to do something to really Frost with his head. If I get a good suggestion, I will use it and report back on Tuesday. oh, and clickies

salvage semi-lurks 28,986 12
05/28/2004 03:29 PM

Okay here's what you do:



Rent a porn movie, something really nasty.



Watch the movie with him when he starts to put moves on excuse yourself to the bathroom.



Stay in the can until he knocks on the door to ask if everything's okay.



Let out the biggest porn whore orgasm moan you can.



Open the door drying off your hands and tell him suddenly you're feeling tired and just want to sleep and that you'll call him in the morning.

Flourescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/28/2004 03:32 PM

*click*



I vote for Sal's answer.

salvage semi-lurks 28,986 12
05/28/2004 03:34 PM

Aw well I can't take credit for it really, too bad Mom doesn't have a Gab account.

Flourescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/28/2004 03:38 PM

Ah i see.. It was one of those "son, this is how you were concieved" stories, huh.

KatsMeows 2,401 10
05/28/2004 03:39 PM

I love that Idea, I actually thought about that and I brought a porno just in case. But the bathroom thing might just work.

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
05/28/2004 03:39 PM

Tell him you'll have sex with him but he has to insert a two-liter bottle in his anus first.



And it has to be diet soda.

salvage semi-lurks 28,986 12
05/28/2004 03:41 PM

Ah i see.. It was one of those "son, this is how you were concieved" stories, huh.



No it was the mailman who gave me that story.



Apparently Mom had some novel ideas on how to cut the overhead on her Mary Kay deliveries.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
05/28/2004 03:55 PM

Go get a tube of hydrocortizone or benadryll, or some over the counter medicine paste, and just before he initiates sex, pull it out and apply it, stating that the doctor said that the rash would clear up with using it. Better if done after sex, if you want to submit yourself to having sex with the bozo.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
05/28/2004 04:00 PM

Tell him you can only get aroused if he talks like a pirate.

KatsMeows 2,401 10
05/28/2004 04:03 PM

I wonder if I could combine Salvage's and Nutbutter's.



Damn, tonights gonna be fun.

salvage semi-lurks 28,986 12
05/28/2004 04:06 PM

Uh oh.



The banner just said "Help end dating violence"



I think we just cost John a sponsor.

Lila the Betrothed 78,550 13
05/28/2004 04:06 PM

Eeww, combing salvage and Nutbutter would be like a self-righteous Canadian nerd who can't shut up about hiking and barbecueing.

GriffXX 559 9
05/28/2004 04:12 PM

After you get there and start to chow down say "You know, the last guy that had me over for pizza and a movie like this thought he was going to get lucky! Can you believe that?!" and laugh.

Swizz tiene trastos en su tronco 3,957 10
05/28/2004 07:10 PM

While you're in the bathroom, make sure to take a giant dump in his bathtub.

Flourescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/28/2004 07:15 PM

No no no.. dump in the toilet tank.. Upper deck that Shakespeare!

superturkey 6,678 0
05/28/2004 07:16 PM

i truely hope you get a full tube for that, it is well deserved.

just me ok with the Stinky Spiggot 13,787 15
05/28/2004 07:30 PM

get him all Hot and Horny. Tell him you like to be 'kinky' and tie him to a chair. Then smear canned tuna all over his crotch and leave the front door open so that all the neighborhood cats will come in and give him a good 'licking'





go home and watch a good movie with your vibrator

Felix 2,568 10
05/28/2004 07:35 PM

take the tubgirl and goatse man pictures, downsize their pictures to wallet size, print out, put in photo section of your purse/wallet thing. Ask him if he would like to see pictures of your brother and sister. after he looks at photos, report back on results. maybe get picture of his face with cell phone cam, so we can see the horror.

PuggyD 48,304 12
05/28/2004 07:48 PM

Hey, you know what would be hilarious? If I had a first date.



Be happy someone wants to touch you at all, bitch.

Chance 171,270 14
05/28/2004 08:40 PM

Hey Puggy-

I'll take you to dinner, but you better put out.

Kisses,

Chance

Freshly Microwaved FDIC 816 9
05/28/2004 11:26 PM

salvage's answer is definitely best.



Listen to salvage.



I will never tell you to do that again, but this time...this one time...I really mean it!!

The Right Honourable BobJohnson 178,045 22
05/29/2004 03:01 AM

I have nothing constructive to add to this thread, except to say that I require medical treatment for my clickie-giving-finger.