Wardrobe Assistance
A comedy conversation
by Lobster  653  9
06/05/2004 11:53 PM 1239 views
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I recently learned what a merkin is, but I'm still confused about the logistics of the thing. How does it stay on? How does it interface with the region it covers? And most of all, why the Frost would anybody want to wear one?
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Like This? Rate It!
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0 votes
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Neep, But I want a woman! 35,066  15
06/05/2004 11:56 PM
I miss Merkin.
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0 votes
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GoBanana 590 10
06/05/2004 11:59 PM
huh?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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TEDphat 6,408 9
06/06/2004 12:01 AM
So this girl was smirkin,
I said "Where you been lurkin?",
"I dunno, but nice merkin"
....
blurkin
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0 votes
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Wonder Bread 3,319 10
06/06/2004 12:02 AM
I bet they sell special ones with rough bristles to clean the floor when you hump it. And then you can probably pour some detergent in there for dishwashing fun. (Be careful when washing the knives though... and the forks...)
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/06/2004 12:02 AM
a merkin would give the illusion of maturity to all those aspiring 12 year old porn stars.
it would also be a way to get rid of somebody you hate for the next twenty years: "i swear officer, she told me she was 18. i mean, look at her bush for god's sake!"
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Wonder Bread 3,319 10
06/06/2004 12:06 AM
Hah, the male merkin looks like a hairy donut.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Lobster 653 9
06/06/2004 12:12 AM
"Colors include blond, light brown, dark brown, black, red, and executive: black with a hint of gray."
Executive. Heh...
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/06/2004 12:15 AM
the site boasts that they are made "from real human hair." were i to purchase a merkin, i think i would prefer the faux version.
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0 votes
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Pat The Great 948 9
06/06/2004 12:28 AM
Yeah. I mean, they probably shave armpits for the stuff.
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
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Lobster 653 9
06/06/2004 12:30 AM
If I'm going to be inserting any parts of myself into circles of pubic hair I would prefer that the hairs are still attached.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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godot 15,434 11
06/06/2004 12:57 AM
prefer that the hairs are still attached.
But if you're really hard up - a tube of superglue and a hole in a wall will do...?
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Side-splitting
13 votes
5.0
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Wonder Bread 3,319 10
06/06/2004 01:16 AM
The Do-It-Yourself Merkin for Men
Materials:
1. Penis (Not work safe)
2. Tranquilizer Gun
3. Chewbacca
4. Scissors
5. Stapler
1. Shoot your Penis (1) with a Tranquilizer Gun (2).
2. Slap Chewbacca (3) to death with Penis (1).
3. Use scissors to cut off Penis (1).
4. Just kidding.
5. Use Scissors (4) to scalp dead Chewbacca (3), and then cut a hole in the middle of scalp wide enough to fit Penis (1).
6. Place scalp around Penis (1), use Stapler (5) to keep it in place.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Wonder Bread 3,319 10
06/06/2004 01:34 AM
*This message is to be used as a bump. Please do not react in any way or manner to the contents of this post. By the way, I look like a donkey on extacy.*
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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peter eater sucks 1,850 10
06/06/2004 01:42 AM
Why would you bump a thread from like four spots down?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Wonder Bread 3,319 10
06/06/2004 01:44 AM
I obviously don't know what a bump is. This is another bump! Take that.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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peter eater sucks 1,850 10
06/06/2004 01:45 AM
Howbout I go take a dump...
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1 votes
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Wonder Bread 3,319 10
06/06/2004 01:53 AM
And then light it on fire? OMG!!!!! Hi -larious!!! You are so clever you sly devil you!!!!!!! Slap me before I choke on my own vomit.
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0 votes
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godot 15,434 11
06/06/2004 02:09 AM
<action>can't believe WB only has 2 clickies for Merkin for Men post</action>That's a damned shame.
Everyone signed on now is on restriction for clickie stinginess.
and yes, it is going on your permanent record.
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0 votes
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Wonder Bread 3,319 10
06/06/2004 02:20 AM
<action> Bows down to godot. </action> Yeah it took me a while to concoct that recipe, I was hoping for a lot more clickies.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Wonder Bread 3,319 10
06/06/2004 02:22 AM
You know what I just realized, the Scissor guy looks a lot like the Chewbacca guy. So I guess you could just scalp him with his own scissors.
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0 votes
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godot 15,434 11
06/06/2004 04:26 PM
<action>snorts a bump of drano for WB</action>
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Wonder Bread 3,319 10
06/06/2004 04:32 PM
Thanks.
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Wonder Bread 3,319 10
06/06/2004 04:35 PM
The thanks was to godot.. As in, that's not my penis.
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Chit4Brainz 178,757 15
06/06/2004 04:47 PM
I always assumed modern day merkins were like panty shields and had the peel off adhesive backing on them .
Bald cooters must have destroyed the merkin market making the manufacturing of most merkins and merkin management, moot.
Don't ya think?
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0 votes
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Wonder Bread 3,319 10
06/06/2004 05:00 PM
Alliteration Alligators Alleviate Allergies.
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