Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
06/09/2004 05:51 PM

I'm a devorce lawyer.

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
06/09/2004 05:51 PM

Internet stalker.

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/09/2004 05:51 PM

oh, ok. so you like to gab it up between house calls - gotcha.

The mysterious Snork 45,655 12
06/09/2004 05:51 PM

Me too!



Seriously, I'm a student.



Same difference really

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/09/2004 05:52 PM

then how do you pay the bills, no key?

Mike, sleeping with teh fishes 3,390 10
06/09/2004 05:53 PM

I GAB for a living.

When its slow, I make collection calls for the company that pays me to GAB.

Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
06/09/2004 05:53 PM

Technical Support Technician

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/09/2004 05:55 PM

i thought as much - technical people - you guys have down time between calls huh.

KatsMeow 2,401 10
06/09/2004 05:55 PM

Graphic Designer/Freeloader

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
06/09/2004 05:56 PM

Residential Air Systems Designer.

Spicey McHarassment Panda 181,718 70
06/09/2004 05:56 PM

I only leave the house at night.



What's your name, where do you live, and what are your measurements?



Lotion?

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/09/2004 05:57 PM

ok, some artistic people too. people with band gigs or contractors going from project to project.



anybody on here that's not supposed to be due to work internet policy?

Big Chief Hammerhead 59,399 14
06/09/2004 05:58 PM

I'm a Shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
06/09/2004 05:59 PM

"then how do you pay the bills, no key?"



I stalked John Kerry for a while.

Night time photography + Llama + vaseline = steady paycheck.

Spicey McHaggis 117,747 36
06/09/2004 05:59 PM

Ha! I'm the one who's supposed to be enforcing the policies!

Spicey McHarassment Panda 181,718 70
06/09/2004 06:02 PM

You're godot's fiance?



Welcome!

Briham 38,843 10
06/09/2004 06:03 PM

Used to be paperboy, but currently unemployed. Not sure which is worse, paperboy or jobless.

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/09/2004 06:07 PM

by "welcome", spicey, i assume you mean "you're Frosted"



yes, i've heard about you...

Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
06/09/2004 06:07 PM

I want to bend it like Briham...

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
06/09/2004 06:09 PM

I'm a student. I pay the bills by servicing my well-paid executive-job-having wife. I am looking for a job. Do you have one?

Spicey McHarassment Panda 181,718 70
06/09/2004 06:09 PM

Nah, I am trying the whole "nice" thing on for size.



I do assume, however, that you are very patient and quite possibly partially blind.



Shakespeare. It's not working.

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/09/2004 06:15 PM

i am patient - but honestly it depends on the day - sometimes i'll have a bad day at work and take it out on godot, because he works from home and has lost all concept of what it's like working in an office with people that drive you crazy all the time.



which is why i'm asking about everyone's careers. i plan to go back to school eventually, but in the meantime it would be really cool to have a job that allows me to gab on zug during the day.

Kellogg's Porn Flakes 3,943 11
06/09/2004 06:17 PM

I'm an internationally renowned pornologist.

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
06/09/2004 06:22 PM

Professor nutbutter

I'm a devorce lawyer.



You can't be a DIVORCE lawyer if you can't spell it. You would think that would come up sometime during the day.

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/09/2004 06:28 PM

hey, doctors can't write legibly to save their life - why should a lawyer have to be able to be able to spell - they have legal assistants to do that Shakespeare.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
06/09/2004 06:29 PM

You can't be a DIVORCE lawyer if you can't spell it.



But he never said he was a DIVORCE lawyer. He said he was a devorce lawyer.

WhyMe 276 10
06/09/2004 06:31 PM

I'm a secretary, which means I run the place and am seriously underpaid, so who gives a Shakespeare if I get caught!

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/09/2004 06:50 PM

well, i should get at least one free spin - since i haven't asked about the internet policy, i can just plead ignorance.

Dead Robot, Race Bannon's Bitch 67,630 16
06/09/2004 06:52 PM

Corp. Shiv for the Man

Daggy 86,705 14
06/09/2004 06:56 PM

I'm a fabulous wealthy tart.

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/09/2004 07:03 PM

<action>steals daggy's porsche</action>

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
06/09/2004 07:07 PM

I'm a budding internet entrapeneur. I don't really know how to spell that, though. In real life, I'm a big loser.

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/09/2004 07:08 PM

budding internet entrepreneur a.k.a. ebay seller

The High Priestess, Bow to me Slaves! 58,856 29
06/09/2004 07:17 PM

I am a student by day, and High Priestess by night

Daggy 86,705 14
06/09/2004 07:18 PM

Sometimes I'm a warrior princess.

Kittuns is Starting Over 44,835 9
06/09/2004 07:19 PM

I'm currently occupied.



RAWR!

The High Priestess, Bow to me Slaves! 58,856 29
06/09/2004 07:21 PM

I just got hired. Like 3 hours ago. So I am student, employed and Priestess. Behold my time managment skills!

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
06/09/2004 07:24 PM

I am also a registered voter.

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
06/09/2004 07:25 PM

...and potential lottery winner.

The High Priestess, Bow to me Slaves! 58,856 29
06/09/2004 07:29 PM

I do not vote. I am a pole, no party loving member will ever get me! Down with Big Brother! Down with Big Brother! *an army of ninjas slips in the window behind the Priestess and attack* I curse you Chi-Chi! I curse you!

gobadine 2,737 10
06/09/2004 07:56 PM

I look after Europes biggest database but have no title.



and i dont mean my porn collection, otherwise i would have a title king of porn.



and I dont surf all day, because over here were between 5 - 8 hours infront of you (depending on your location in the US) I gab when your at work and im at home.

Sheldwyn 14,626 9
06/09/2004 08:02 PM

I quit my job for Babies R Us as a dept. manager, and now I'm a Lab tech for a major international lab working the overnight shift. I see it as a step up.

Chickens Sings Tenor in a Manly Way 286,472 61
06/09/2004 08:02 PM

Southern Baptist Preacher and Male Stripper. Not at the same time of course.

Swizz tiene trastos en su tronco 3,957 10
06/09/2004 08:58 PM

I don't GAB from work. I amcurrently trying to find a cure for cancer.

Swizz tiene trastos en su tronco 3,957 10
06/09/2004 08:59 PM

And once I find that, I'll learn how to use the spacebar.

Sir Clovis 1,465 10
06/09/2004 09:06 PM

I am Ronald Reagan's health adviser but for some odd reason I haven't seen or heard for him in the last few days.

Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
06/09/2004 09:22 PM

student/assistant bean counter

Big Chief Hammerhead 59,399 14
06/09/2004 09:37 PM

occupation check



Are the Nazis back in France?

Phlamingo 131,068 34
06/09/2004 09:46 PM

-Former student/athlete going through jock withdrawal

-Has a degree in non-socialization

making up words illustration

-Already decided she'd suck at freelancing before even

attempting to send out a portfolio

-Is now drunk an electrician's bitch apprentice

StormKat 2,051 9
06/10/2004 12:40 AM

Lord o' Thunder



If I keep up the good work, I'll earn that letter "F" and complete my title.

The Foot 14,139 11
06/10/2004 12:52 AM

I'm a burgeler.

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/10/2004 01:36 AM

I'm a level 5 Seal Clubber.

filly182 39,193 20
06/10/2004 01:58 AM

Hammerhead gets clickies because he knows Monty Python. Hell yes.

Rooster Cicero 40 8
06/10/2004 02:17 AM

I am an Oompa Loompa. Bastard Willy Wonka. 1,203 hours till revolt. I get paid in FREAKING CHOCOLATE!!!

NavyBoy 19,912 12
06/10/2004 05:18 AM

Aviation Electronics Technician... Communication/Navigation/Radar Systems Supervisor... Computer Systems Administrator...



Oh, and I'm stationed in Japan... so I'm not posting from work... I'm posting from tomorrow!

Emenius 1,433 10
06/10/2004 05:27 AM

I stand behind a counter thing with bags in front of me and a cash register to my right. I listen to stupid people ask stupid questions and get all worked up when the 12 pack of pop comes up for $3.99 when it's supposed to be on sale for $3. It's a dollar, not gonna break you, it comes off at the end anyway, just assume I know how to do my job. I hate people. I'm a 20 year old college student trying to pass time till I can go out and buy my own alcohol and sit in my room in the dark getting drunk like the rest of Gab.

Nachos - Hardcore since...well, never really... 57,521 23
06/10/2004 06:41 AM

Former student/athlete going through jock withdrawal



Has no-one ever told you...that is not a valid form of contraception....

I'm still Janey from the block 173,958 15
06/10/2004 07:25 AM

I work from home. WHich means I have lots of free time to stalk GABbers that live close to me. 1011 Clinton Street, right?

Phuc 237,915 21
06/10/2004 09:32 AM

<action>of the mountain.</action>

Damn, there's a lotta students here. Goddamn leeches I'm so proud that you all are advancing your knowledge through education so that you can continue to suck off the taxpayers' collective teat from you mom's basement become productive members of society.



I can't talk about my work. When asked for a description, my answer is usually, "I see dead people."



And no, I don't work in the community college.

You left it where? 211,511 32
06/10/2004 09:36 AM

Flea circus clown

Trixxie (Spicey McFaggot) LeMay 65,021 15
06/10/2004 09:39 AM

I'm a secret agent for the british government.

Phuc 237,915 21
06/10/2004 09:42 AM

I'm a secret agent for the british government.



That's a better excuse for the muumu than "I'm the makeup counter girl at the Hoboken Wal Mart."

Whistler P. McManus, basso profundo 185,953 44
06/10/2004 10:00 AM

I teach, write about, research, repair, deal in and perform on historic musical instruments. And three days a week I'm still a slave to the corporate machine.

ringworm 68,315 13
06/10/2004 11:27 AM

i make and sell soap.

Aimlesssaywhat??? 54,807 10
06/10/2004 12:06 PM

I'm a 50 year old stripper at "Jubblies" on the weekends but I'm only doing that until my modeling career takes off, and I get through rehab because I am addicted to huffing chocolate Ready Whip.

gmflash 4 9
06/10/2004 12:27 PM

Engineer. Specifically, a computer engineer that does system integration for intelligent traffic and SCADA systems.



In other words, I am a geek of the highest magnitude, and I have no life.

DeclanMcManus: plain, but never simple 131,874 36
06/10/2004 12:33 PM

free lance writer/photographer, office temp, cook, and community/church volunteer.

DeclanMcManus: plain, but never simple 131,874 36
06/10/2004 12:34 PM

Oh, and some people find it rude/intrusive to be asked what they do for a living.

godot 15,434 11
06/10/2004 12:36 PM

some people find it rude/intrusive to be asked what they do for a living.



Wow - rude intrusive people - on gab!!! I can't believe it!!

Crazyballs 11,888 10
06/10/2004 12:36 PM

That's why I didn't post in this thread. It's nobody's Frost-ing buisness.



DAMNIT!

Spicey McHarassment Panda 181,718 70
06/10/2004 12:59 PM

I'm a brilliant executive secretary. Lucky for me, my boss had 3 temps in here before me, all dumb as a box of rocks. During that time he learned not to expect much and to become pretty self-reliant. My work load stays a little lighter as a result. Also, he's gone a lot and has very little time to stand over my shoulder and ask "What are you working on?" Someday, I fear, he will discover what I'm getting away with and I will have to start sleeping with him or get fired. Hopefully, he fires me.



And yes, I'm violating the company internet policy, but because the guy who is in charge of that kind of thing gambles online all day, I don't worry that much.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
06/10/2004 01:00 PM

I am a student, but in my spare time I raise babies in captivity for later release into the wild.

I'm still Janey from the block 173,958 15
06/10/2004 02:06 PM

My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the Emersons in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
06/10/2004 02:09 PM

I work in a hosptial. I save lives.

Corbin 179 8
06/10/2004 02:16 PM

I work afternoon/evenings at my local Walmart suuuuuuuuppper CENTER! I dont save lives, I act like a smartass, while directing people to the lightbulbs. We all need lightbulbs don't we? In that fact it makes me feel so worthwhile. As long as I keep saying "you do make a difference, you do make a difference" I make a difference! I HELP!.... i help.

Lobster 653 9
06/10/2004 02:22 PM

I don't work in a hospital. I save lives.

SheCabbage 5,200 13
06/10/2004 02:27 PM

I'm a web guy/graphics guy/writing guy/proofreading guy.



Plus I like to knit.

Phuc 237,915 21
06/10/2004 02:32 PM

Oh, and some people find it rude/intrusive to be asked what they do for a living.



BullShakespeare. It's the all-purpose icebreaker, even more popular than "spit or swallow?"

I'm still Janey from the block 173,958 15
06/10/2004 02:33 PM

I love you. You can master my oboe any day.

Dead Robot, Race Bannon's Bitch 67,630 16
06/10/2004 02:38 PM

I work in a hosptial. I save lives.



Is that what we're calling "cleaning bedpans" now?

Crazyballs 11,888 10
06/10/2004 02:39 PM

I'm a taste tester at a cough drop factory.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
06/10/2004 02:40 PM

A dirty bedpan leads to infection. Infection leads to death.



I am a vital part of the lifesaving machine known as St. Jude's Hospital for Obese Children.

firelizard 1,191 12
06/10/2004 04:08 PM

I'm a Civil Servant as a Computer Programmer.



just not civil or a servant.

gobadine 2,737 10
06/10/2004 05:14 PM

firelizard,

what dept?



im ISD plymouth

ringworm 68,315 13
06/10/2004 06:06 PM

i don't work in a hospital. i end lives.

Sir Clovis 1,465 10
06/10/2004 07:04 PM

I am Ray Charles's health adviser.........No wait I did that one allready.

Marilyn 12,471 13
06/10/2004 08:28 PM

Professionally, I mock other people's shortcomings and sensitivities.

Mofo Baggins <FrGr> 10,950 10
06/10/2004 10:14 PM

I work for a government agency that monitors message boards and searches for individuals with supposed radical views or non-conformist sympathies, so that they may be silenced. And by silenced, I mean neutralized. And by neutralized, I mean whacked. And by whacked, I mean off-ed. And by off-ed, I mean killed. And by killed, ... well that one's pretty self-explanatory.

Rooster Cicero 40 8
06/10/2004 11:24 PM

I am an underpaid and woefully underpaid temp of a secretary. I work in a cubicle about the size of a chair, a school desk, a computer, and about 2 extra inches, so I have to jump into it, plus all the cubicles are put together, so I'm stuck in the center of everyone, hammering pegs. I work for Satan. Um... I mean... SANTA! Be good kids! or else I will decapitate you and place your headless body upside-down on a blunt candy cane outside of the hall of the horror of nonbeing weighed against the omnipotent power and eternal existence of death.

The Foot 14,139 11
06/11/2004 06:02 AM

I am unemployed. Or at least I will be untill I get out of jail.

The Foot 14,139 11
06/11/2004 06:03 AM

Where I hope to get back into a profitable part of the chemicals industry.

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/11/2004 06:04 AM

Dude, nobody told you? They busted Saddam.

Hyperspazzilla 959 9
06/11/2004 06:23 AM

I manage dedicated servers for our customers. Basically restarting services, modifying dns records, add ip addresses, setup virtual hosts, ect.



I used to travel the globe talking to VPs and CEOs on how to expand our marketshare and how they can get a piece, filled keynote speaking roles, radio and tv spots, and the parties DAMN THE PARTIES!



But now, I am just a tech guy. freakin layoffs... *mumbles*



My dream job yet to be determined.

Fluro 14,139 11
06/11/2004 06:26 AM

I heard some dude got busted but i can assure you that happens alot in the clink

Fluro 14,139 11
06/11/2004 06:27 AM

... especially in the F Block showers

Neep, But I want a woman! 35,066 15
06/11/2004 09:21 AM

I am a student. I also work. My job consists of trying to make bits of kitten look like standard chicken pieces- thigh, drum, wing, rib, breast. When you talk to me, I will ask "is that original or tender roast? hmph... is that have here or take away?" I will then place the kitten bits in boxes and give them to you with chips and a mirinda, no ice.

Lila the Betrothed 78,550 13
06/11/2004 10:17 AM

I'm a housewife/career woman. I found a way to make a living cleaning up and giving up teh hot sexo!

Chickens Sings Tenor in a Manly Way 286,472 61
06/11/2004 10:18 AM

I'm a fundraiser for the Democratic National Committee.

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/11/2004 10:26 AM

I'm a Shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.



so basically, hammerhead, you're edward scissorhands with a business license.

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/11/2004 10:29 AM

some people find it rude/intrusive to be asked what they do for a living.



they're so offended, godot, that they've managed to post over a hundred times so far...

Lila the Betrothed 78,550 13
06/11/2004 10:37 AM

<action>sips her margarita at 8:30 am and bites into a bon bon

Oh, I don't find it offensive at all, dearie!

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/11/2004 10:41 AM

<action>sticks her tongue out at godot</action>



see

Lila the Betrothed 78,550 13
06/11/2004 10:43 AM

Do me a favor and don't draw godot's attention to me. He'll go off into a tangent on how fat he supposes I am and probably something that demonstrates once again how full of himself he is.

I'm just not in the mood.

charlotte sometimes 1,130 10
06/11/2004 10:52 AM

i don't think you understand lila - i am godot's fiance - i know everything about him - what you should be doing is trying to become my best friend...

Lila the Betrothed 78,550 13
06/11/2004 10:53 AM

No way. You Shakespeare-ing me? He gets laid? I don't buy it.

Trixxie (Spicey McFaggot) LeMay 65,021 15
06/11/2004 10:54 AM

I'm a bloated tick off your Federal tax dollars.

godot 15,434 11
06/11/2004 11:46 AM

I don't buy it.



We know. You trade crack for it.

firelizard 1,191 12
06/21/2004 04:24 PM

gobadine

firelizard,

what dept?



im ISD plymouth



FRS part of Scottish Executive

Suicidal Sanitary Napkin 30,762 12
10/02/2004 06:17 PM

Oh yes Mr. Bent Penny. Who wouldn't want to win at a contest from an unheard of website?

monkeys that don't know when to SHUT THE HELL UP 443 8
10/02/2004 06:31 PM

we are monkeys

Lunchbox in heat. 14,650 10
10/02/2004 07:00 PM

im a grad student. i grade Shakespearety undergrad papers, also.

brody 43,090 12
10/02/2004 07:18 PM

I am looking for work at the minute, basically translated that means I fill in one or two application forms and never send them in.

Fluro 14,139 11
10/02/2004 07:21 PM

Coastguard/tertiary student/computer tech.

And sometimes I drive a fast car with an incredibal stereo, to deliver rediculously powerfull home audio equipment.

Wicked Wedgie Woman 15,741 12
10/02/2004 08:10 PM

I am Queen of the Universe.



I have a t-shirt that says so.

brody 43,090 12
10/02/2004 08:14 PM

Wx if that was true then I am edward scissorhands, captain jack sparrow (love johnny depp), and jesus's homeboy.

Wicked Wedgie Woman 15,741 12
10/02/2004 08:17 PM

I would also be a porn star and my nipples would be pierced and have dead fetus' hanging from them.

brody 43,090 12
10/02/2004 08:25 PM

And I would be 100% cotton and cost $30 from Hot Topic.

roomful of monkeys 200 9
10/03/2004 08:50 PM

we, also, are monkeys, but, we use more commas,

Jolson 16,163 11
10/03/2004 08:52 PM

Web Designer / Developer.

NaClDave 3,588 9
10/03/2004 11:38 PM

colombian drug lord....i know who killed nicole simpson.....

Fifi, live from Gay Paree 173,958 15
10/03/2004 11:43 PM

Silly Dave. We all know who killed Nicole Simpson. It was OJ.

AmyPoo: back in the saddle 2,710 12
10/04/2004 12:34 AM

i am a nursing student, and i wait tables because i enjoy it oh so much. i'm also a mom.

Inquisitor Glass 25,340 11
10/04/2004 12:41 AM

I'm a temp. I get into crazy misadventures I don't bother writing about.

Robin 14,626 9
10/04/2004 12:48 AM

I work overnight in a medical laboratory. I handle all of your blood samples, serum samples, and many many gross things like poo, DNC's, swabs from your genitals.



during the day I go to school to move up in the company so I can look at your samples and tell you what you've got.

yorkydee 709 9
10/04/2004 01:38 AM

I was a freelance hitwoman but I got burned out on it. Just not fun anymore. Now I stay home, spend my husband's money and make him beg for sex. I love it when he begs.

Jax In The Tesseract 8 12
06/02/2010 07:10 AM

I piss people off provide customer service via email for an internet scam website.