Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 02:59 AM

You need to ditch that. And stick to the less-psychotic variety.

Emenius 1,433 10
06/20/2004 03:01 AM

But first, take pictures of her naked and post them all over the internet. Make sure she knows that there are naked pictures of her all over the internet. Also, mention the fact that there are men touching themselves while looking at the naked pictures.



If she's hot at least, if she just has "a nice personality" then don't, please don't.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:05 AM

In fact, rub the fact in. Send her random pics of girls and tell them you talk to all of them.



Call her the wrong name a couple of times.



In fact, feel free to send pics of me to her, and tell her that I've seen you nekkid. And that I have nice boobies.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:05 AM

Dude, I went out with her too. Be careful, a month after I broke up with her I saw her, and she punched me in the face and tried to strangle me. She's certifiably psycho.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:11 AM

Anita, everyone knows that the "hair out of the face" look is actually known as the "about to give head" look.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:14 AM

DAMN, you got me all figured out.



It's a look you haven't seen in a while, huh?

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:15 AM

You can put that pic on your desktop and pretend, with my blessing.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:15 AM

Implying that I haven't seen that face in awhile doesn't make sense in response to me recognizing the face....









ok....maybe not.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:16 AM

jk, i just haven't had a goon experience with that face for awhile. if you're offering though, i'd let you

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:17 AM

If you can fly yourself down here, I can point you to a few good hookers.

Emenius 1,433 10
06/20/2004 03:20 AM

And you can pretend they're Anita

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:20 AM

aw shucks. i was hoping you'd be the only whore i had to deal with

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:24 AM

Honey, calling me a whore would imply that I charge for my "services".



I give freely to the right piece of sugah. I'm a little picky, though. I don't really like a bad taste in my mouth.



Probably why I haven't been laid so long.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:27 AM

Being picky is the worst trait to be stuck with. I am crazy picky, and it sucks. But when you find one that is up to standards, it's well worth it. The problem is finding someone like that.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:29 AM

Hear hear!

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:29 AM

Probably why I haven't been laid so long.



I am now making an offer to end this slump for you.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:31 AM

send me a pic, and I might consider.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:32 AM

Whoever says that they don't look at the outward, physical aspects of a person when contemplating attraction... is full of Shakespeare.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:34 AM

Who could resist this???

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:35 AM

ps. the Shakespeare in the backround, including brittany spears, is all my roommates Shakespeare.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:37 AM

If that doesn't do it for you, check out my Edward Norton from American History X look.





Needless to say, I grew the hair back pretty quick, and shaved the goatee too.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:40 AM

Who could resist this???



Be still my heart.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:41 AM

ps. the Shakespeare in the backround, including brittany spears, is all my roommates Shakespeare.



Suuuuuure it is.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:41 AM

The disco look is coming back. either that, or I thought it'd be a funny pic

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:42 AM

Your bald head is so damn purty, if I had a penis, I'd skullFrost you.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:44 AM

The Shakespeare in the backround of this one is my Shakespeare. Brittany Spears can go suck a big one.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:46 AM

preferably yours, right?

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:46 AM

Nah, mine isn't big.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:47 AM

I won't even ask about the pose.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:47 AM

Plus, I'm holding out for Anita.

Moss 4,125 10
06/20/2004 03:51 AM

Hey Jacobpants and Pubah, Anita and Ted are stealing your schtick!

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 03:52 AM

are you 26 years of age Anita?

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:58 AM

I'm old enough to know better, but I'm still too young to care...

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 03:59 AM

<action> is 23 years old

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 04:00 AM

Just as I thought.....(slut)

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 04:00 AM

23 years old?? Yea right, maybe in your BRA!!!









wait...i think that works better with weight.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 04:01 AM

Only in your fantasy.

ringworm 68,315 13
06/20/2004 04:04 AM

Who could resist this???



well, me, for one.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 04:05 AM

feel the love. I just gave you a clickie.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 04:05 AM

That's about all you're getting out of me anytime soon.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 04:09 AM

Don't worry, I don't want things coming out of you, I want things going in.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 04:13 AM

So explain the term "put out" to me, then.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 04:17 AM

Anita: 1

Ted: 0

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 04:19 AM

BOO-YAH!

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 04:22 AM

I think I deserve a clickie for that, at least.

TEDphat 6,408 9
06/20/2004 04:25 AM

Clickie awarded. Now will you click my special smilie face??

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 04:38 AM

Show me your special smilie face.

The Menace from... uh... Limburg 895 9
06/20/2004 04:40 AM

Not too be rude or anything, but you two are Frost-ing freaking me out.

Lila 78,550 13
06/20/2004 07:27 AM

Anita Blake? Ohmygod! I LOVED you in Glitter!!

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 07:29 AM

I fail to see how the Frost you get Anita Blake and Mariah Carey mixed up.

Lila 78,550 13
06/20/2004 07:29 AM

<action>whispers in n00b's ear

I fail to understand how you missed that I was referring to you LOOKING like Mariah Carey

Lila 78,550 13
06/20/2004 07:34 AM

Geez, these kids today not knowing how to take a compliment and all.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 07:34 AM

I most certainly do not consider myself to look like Mariah Carey.



I will, however, take it as a compliment anyhow.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 07:35 AM

I'll even give you a clickie.

Lila 78,550 13
06/20/2004 07:35 AM

You should. Youth and being that cute AS a youth is a dy-no-mite combination, you little heart breaker!

Fartpuppy - I got nothin' 5,142 13
06/20/2004 07:38 AM

Lila are you ok?

Lila 78,550 13
06/20/2004 07:39 AM

I'm a little high but otherwise yes, why?

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 07:39 AM

From how everyone else is goin' on about you, Lila... I get the feeling that this is the calm before the storm.

Fartpuppy - I got nothin' 5,142 13
06/20/2004 07:40 AM

Just your usual treatment of us n00bs is different.

Lila 78,550 13
06/20/2004 07:41 AM

Everyone is goin' on about me? Don't think I understand that one. I've been here for years, though, I'm sure there's a lot out there about me to read.

Lila 78,550 13
06/20/2004 07:47 AM

Correction: my treatment of stupid, ignorant n00bs who need to leave Gab forever is the same. My treatment of cute, funny n00bs who need to stick around for a bit is good!



Did I mention I'm a little high?

Fartpuppy - I got nothin' 5,142 13
06/20/2004 07:48 AM

Yes.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 07:49 AM

Lila, high or not, if I had a penis, I'd bang you.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 07:54 AM

I guess now that the boys provided me with one in those doctored images...

Lila 78,550 13
06/20/2004 07:57 AM

Ooo, well let's get it on, Dreamlover!

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:10 AM

<action> *sings a la Marvin Gaye* Let's get it ooooon......

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:11 AM

Lila, as much as I'd love to come over to your place and be the fire in your loins... I'm afraid I don't know where the hell you live.



You'll have to be content with a clickie for now.

Lila 78,550 13
06/20/2004 08:12 AM

That's ok. I'm recently engaged anyway and I don't think he'd appreciate me getting it on with a...actually he would LOVE me getting it on with a girl!

I'll be emailing you my home address post haste.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:27 AM

Must be nice. I seem to end up meeting and hooking up with the uppity, overly Conservative bastards that would think ,e getting it on with a nice, sex woman would be just plainly immoral and out of the question.



Where's all the liberal, sexually outgoing men in the world?!



*waits for influx of posts*

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:27 AM

...that would think me getting it on...

Fartpuppy - I got nothin' 5,142 13
06/20/2004 08:29 AM

Got one right here, but i'm getting a little sick of women at the moment.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:31 AM

I know a few good men for just that problem.

Been there...tried that... 2,598 9
06/20/2004 08:32 AM

all cyber---no action

Fartpuppy - I got nothin' 5,142 13
06/20/2004 08:32 AM

I'm slow typing tonight, I just read the correction you made and I'm a little touche about girls sexing other girls now if I happen to know about them, due to an unfortunate thing I did.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:39 AM

See, you can't say something like that and not follow up with the juicy details.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:40 AM

The public DEMANDS to know!

Fartpuppy - I got nothin' 5,142 13
06/20/2004 08:41 AM

Turned my last girlfriend into a lesbian. Not much detail in that.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:45 AM

Damn, you're THAT lousy in bed?



*Sorry, low blow.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:46 AM

That's funny, I have the reverse effect. I've managed to make gay men straight.



Is your ex-girlfriend hot? If so, can I get her number?

Fartpuppy - I got nothin' 5,142 13
06/20/2004 08:47 AM

Nope, apparently it had something to do with six hours of sex.



I paid for the motel room so I got as much usage out of it as I could.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:49 AM

Did you cuddle with her afterwards, and caress her hair and hold her hand?

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:50 AM

...and pet her and pat her and call her George?



...or maybe I'm the only one that appreciates that.

Fartpuppy - I got nothin' 5,142 13
06/20/2004 08:50 AM

Considering it was the first time I saw her in months, yes.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:51 AM

Are you in the military?

Fartpuppy - I got nothin' 5,142 13
06/20/2004 08:54 AM

No, different towns, also i've been having problems with my car. Police love to find something with it, consequently I've lost my license.



However, I am in the process of joining the military. I live in Australia so the selection process is different.

Lila 78,550 13
06/20/2004 08:55 AM

Would you two please get a room?



So that you can turn the Mariah lookalike into a lesbian? Oh! Sorry, I just couldn't help it. This thread is getting bor-ing.

Fartpuppy - I got nothin' 5,142 13
06/20/2004 08:56 AM

This thread was exciting?

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:57 AM

Po-po around the world are all the same. Frost-ing pricks.



Sorry to hear about your misfortune, though.



...can I still get her number?

Been there...tried that... 2,598 9
06/20/2004 08:57 AM

(Excuse me a second, Anita. I don't want to get in your way while you troll for phone #s).



I'm not sure if this relevant here, but a guy friend was bragging yesterday about how he has been banging a gal with two Emersons (#%**ing swearbot), you know, two poop chutes.

This is the first time I have heard of this strange biological phenomenon, so I was just wondering if it occurs elsewhere in nature.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:58 AM

This thread is being kept alive out of sheer desperation at not having anything better to do, Lila. You won't give me your house address so I can properly stalk you.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 08:59 AM

Yeah. Your mom.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 09:00 AM

Would you two please get a room?



So that you can turn the Mariah lookalike into a lesbian?



Whoops, too late there already, sugah.

Been there...tried that... 2,598 9
06/20/2004 09:00 AM

I am trying to get the image out of my head...



HER: oh, yes, now stick it in my ass!



ME: Uhhhh, which one?

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 09:01 AM

Unless you're talking about COMPLETELY turning me to the DarkSide.



Right now I straddle the fence. It automatically doubles my chances for a date on Saturday nights.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 09:04 AM

Here, I'll give you a new image to replace that one with.

Lila 78,550 13
06/20/2004 09:08 AM

A cute and bi-curious n00b? You will go far here, grasshoppa.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 09:09 AM

A thousand blessings upon your illustrious visage, Master.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 09:10 AM

This site tends to be so incriminating. I'm so glad I'm not considering a career in politics.

Been there...tried that... 2,598 9
06/20/2004 09:17 AM

HEADLINE:

CANDIDATE ANITA BLAKE ADMITS TO CHATTING ON ZUG!



"...but I never once inhaled or swallowed"

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 09:21 AM

"...though I did make sweet, sweet CyberLove to a Gabber or two..."

Dogs Akimbo 211,526 32
06/20/2004 03:10 PM

Not to change the subject, but is this your idea of fun there? Putting bulls-eyes on school children?



Tsk....

Dogs Akimbo 211,526 32
06/20/2004 03:11 PM

On second thought....w00t!

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 04:24 PM

that link don't lead nowhere, sugah.



You'll have to be more specific.



And yes, sometimes I have to take the frustration from a hard day's work out in some way, shape or form.



You don't wanna hear what my therapist had to say about the issue.

Wonder Bread 3,319 10
06/20/2004 04:27 PM

sugah



Hey, that 'r' looks like an 'h'! Oh wait, it is...

Anita Blake 6,762 9
06/20/2004 04:29 PM

Thank you for making my attempt at phonetic spelling obvious to the thread...



SUGAH.

Been there...tried that... 2,598 9
06/20/2004 04:39 PM

You're wellcum

mr.funky chunks 256 9
06/20/2004 05:22 PM

Not to change the subject, but is this your idea of fun there? Putting bulls-eyes on school children?



Tsk....







i bet that would have been funny if the link worked

FlyingJules 167 9
06/21/2004 06:27 AM

I think It's funnier since it DOESN'T work! HAHAHAHAHA

Barefoot Chance 171,270 14
06/21/2004 12:48 PM

I sure have an unusual gf



Gooey Finger?



I didn't get past the first sentence in this hideous thread.

Briham 38,843 10
06/21/2004 12:54 PM

Anita Blake, did you get your name off the Laurell K. Hamilton book series?

Fluro 14,139 11
06/21/2004 03:30 PM

My girlfriend and I just had Text-sex which involved bondage.

Discuss.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
06/21/2004 03:35 PM

This thread is like watching a stream of diarrhea trickle down a marble column.

Phlamingo 131,068 34
06/21/2004 03:37 PM

...is that something you do often?

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
06/21/2004 03:37 PM

LIKE A FOX!

Fluro 14,139 11
06/21/2004 03:41 PM

ummm... uhhh... no?

Apollo 8 8
06/21/2004 05:01 PM

yes