Ditdah 123,102 14
06/22/2004 10:13 AM

Dammnit - THEIR noses into my business.

Fratberry 282,828 53
06/22/2004 10:14 AM

When they offer up their nose, put your finger in it.

Fartpuppy - I got nothin' 5,142 13
06/22/2004 10:15 AM

I just stabbed myself three times. It didn't hurt like everybody thought it would!

Chapped Labia/Sandy Vulva 311 9
06/22/2004 10:17 AM

Tell them their mom's vag is tighter than everyone claims it to be

Daggy 86,705 14
06/22/2004 10:18 AM

Tell them an experiment went wrong with an egg flip, some limp celery, and a midget. Then smile and walk away.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
06/22/2004 10:18 AM

Pecause people are asshats and don't even realize it.



When I was a teenager, and up until my early twenties, I had horrible, horrible acne on my face. Every knucklehead in the world, even total strangers, would offer "advice" on how I could clear it up. People at work would just walk up to me uninvited and say "What you need to do, right, is you need to wash your face with really HOT water."



As if I hadn't tried that.



When I was single and both my brothers were married, every relative and friend of the family would walk up to me and ask in front of everyone "SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET MARRIED, JIMMY?"



It was all I could do to not scream at them that the more immediate goal was to get laid and then perhaps I would think about marriage.



So yeah, people are asshats.



My advice to you is, when they ask you about your finger, find some embarassing feature of their body and ask about it.



"So what happened to your finger?"



"I broke it. How did you manage to have kids with that 200 lb gut hanging over your genitalia?"

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
06/22/2004 10:19 AM

Ahh, I thought you were aksing why people were nosy.



Just tell them someone punched you in the nose. That's the standard response for a broken finger.

Been there...tried that... 2,598 9
06/22/2004 10:19 AM

You were attacked by ninjas!

Fratberry 282,828 53
06/22/2004 10:21 AM

<action>posts semi-randomly</action>

"How did you manage to have kids with that 200 lb gut hanging over your genitalia?"



Hey, with a tool like this I gotta build a shed over it!

Trixxie (Spicey McFaggot) LeMay 65,021 15
06/22/2004 10:21 AM

You were fingering Vin Disel in the Butt, when a chipmonk droped onto his head frigtening him, thereby causing him to clench his ass cheeks and fracture your finger.

Ditdah 123,102 14
06/22/2004 10:24 AM

You all never fail to impress me.

Been there...tried that... 2,598 9
06/22/2004 10:27 AM

I broke it while masturbating...

Ditdah 123,102 14
06/22/2004 10:31 AM

Scary enough, I've actually had a similar experience...

Bankey 70,843 10
06/22/2004 10:36 AM

write 'We're Number One!' on the foam and if anyone asks about it, tell them you're on your way to the big game!















Then slap them with your good hand.

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
06/22/2004 10:40 AM

Tell them about your anal fissure named Bob.

The mysterious Snork 45,655 12
06/22/2004 10:44 AM

Just smile and say: 'I'm a proctologist'.

PowBlocks 782 8
06/22/2004 10:57 AM

What the hell, man? Splints are all the rage! If anyone asks why you're wearing a splint, tell them the truth: They're a bunch of uncool bastards without splints on thier fingers.

Bankey 70,843 10
06/22/2004 11:01 AM

This should cover most sitautions:



Nosey McNoserson: Hey, how'd you hurt your finger?



You: Bend over, I'll show you.



Nosey McNoserson: ...

confucious 13 8
06/22/2004 11:06 AM

tell them playing with sphincters is tougher than it seems

Frogpop 173,153 25
06/22/2004 11:12 AM

"I got into a nasty little tangle with a Chinese Finger Trap.. Beat it in the end, though."

Chapped Labia/Sandy Vulva 311 9
06/22/2004 11:16 AM

tell people you got caught yanking it and you were a little too strong hitting the ESC key before your mom walked in

The Menace from... uh... Limburg 895 9
06/22/2004 12:54 PM

"Well, I could just tell you... but that doesn't do the story justice. You have to... sniff it..."

Ditdah 123,102 14
06/22/2004 01:02 PM

Beautiful Menace! Just b-e-a-utiful!

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
06/22/2004 01:18 PM

What do you mean what happened to my finger?



*look at your finger*



OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FINGER???



*cry like a baby*



THOSE BASTARDS SAID THEY WOULDN'T HURT MY FINGER!



*shake your fist at the sky*



YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T HURT MY FINGER!



They took my sheep too, you know.

SAVIORA 666 10
06/22/2004 02:24 PM

Tell 'em that Mike Tyson likes variety in his diet.

Whistler P. McManus, basso profundo 185,953 44
06/22/2004 02:34 PM

My standard polite response to questions I don't want to answer:

"On the advice of my attourney, due to pending litigation, I cannot discuss the matter."



My standard not-so-polite answer:

"Mind your own Frost-ing business."





The real Declan answer: "Why do you ask?"



The fake Declan answer has already been listed a couple of times.