You have short-term memory loss.
A comedy conversation
by Just Ducky  10,666  13
06/25/2004 01:29 PM 287 views
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Good morning M.E.G.
Everything is going to be all right.
But I have some bad news for you.
About a year ago you had a serious accident involving a truck and a cow.
(You were riding the cow.) You recovered, but you have no short term memory.
So every morning I send you this e-mail to tell you what you missed.
The US army finally left Iraq. Unfortunately it took a left turn somewhere
around Gibraltar and accidentally conquered Spain. On the bright side, your
World Cup chances are really looking up.
Bush is no longer the president. Neither is Kerry. Your nation is currently
run by Sean "Puffy" Combs. I'm not really sure how that happened. Nobody is.
According to this months issue of People, Drew Barrymore is dating Courteny
Cox's baby. No really, go look. I can't make this stuff up.
WE ALL LOVE AND WORSHIP THE HYPNO-TOAD. ALL HAIL THE HYPNO-TOAD.
Part 3 of the second Star Wars trilogy was finally released. Sometimes, your
condition is a blessing.
You lost 15 lbs. You go girl!
Trae entered a nunnery. It was swallowed by a crack in the earth shortly
afterwards, to the sound of hollow chuckling noises.
We had a wild tempestuous affair. Even though it's over now, you still make
a point of telling all your single female friends what a great guy I was,
and how freakishly large my genitals are.
And finally, did I mention WE ALL LOVE AND WORSHIP THE HYPNO-TOAD. ALL HAIL
THE HYPNO-TOAD.?
Hope that helps. Have a good day. I'll send this to you again tomorrow.
Bye,
Ian
(PS: Yes, you've been sick for about 13 months now. Doctors aren't sure what
you have, but the telethon for it is next Sunday.)
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
26 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=970484
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=970487
Prof.Fantabulous 19,711  13
06/25/2004 01:33 PM
That must explain you not posting my picture.
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0 votes
0.0
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Kittuns is Starting Over 44,835 9
06/25/2004 01:33 PM
Hi,
Who are you?
Kittuns
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0 votes
0.0
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Fratberry 282,828 53
06/25/2004 01:33 PM
I'm sorry. What?
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Side-splitting
8 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=970490
Fratberry 282,828 53
06/25/2004 01:34 PM
I'm sorry, what?
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Side-splitting
17 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=970492
Spicey McHaggis 117,752 36
06/25/2004 01:37 PM
<action>walks into thread. Forgets why he's here. Tries to walk out but walks into the closet instead.</action>Hey, there's some guy in here. He says he's "pugnatious", whatever that means.
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0 votes
0.0
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Just Ducky 10,666 13
06/25/2004 01:39 PM
Prof - Um.. yes.. yes it does...
Hey, I got everyone else in!
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0 votes
0.0
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Darren of Doom 188 8
06/25/2004 01:41 PM
McDonalds has given up on their campaign to help make America healthier and instead now deep fries all of its foods in lard because it's cheaper and now offers liposuction in every restaurant.
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0 votes
0.0
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Ditdah 123,102 14
06/25/2004 01:44 PM
memento...
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Side-splitting
7 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=970508
Creeping Myrtle 181,718 70
06/25/2004 01:47 PM
<action>hits "refresh", starts reading thread from top</action>
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=970511
Honey Bunches of Hollis 7,284 14
06/25/2004 01:50 PM
I'm fairly sure that Ducky has just rented 50 First Dates.
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0 votes
0.0
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Gavvo 1,789 12
06/25/2004 01:54 PM
Ducky could've just seen Clean Slate
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Creeping Myrtle 181,718 70
06/25/2004 01:56 PM
<action>hits "refresh", starts reading thread from top.</action>
Huh. I wonder if someone rented Groundhog Day.
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0 votes
0.0
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Creeping Myrtle 181,718 70
06/25/2004 02:05 PM
"short term memory"
Does that mean that maybe I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday but next year, when it becomes "long term memory" I will be able to recall what it was?
Also, I feel like maybe I've worn this outfit to work already this week. I think I may have hit a cow myself.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
06/25/2004 02:19 PM
I started reading this... I can't remember how it started, could somone post the first post further down so I can read it close to what I was going to say I... So I started reading this and... What was I reading?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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superfly 1,145 8
06/25/2004 02:28 PM
I get the same way...but I blame the BUD
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=970648
Gopher 570 10
06/25/2004 04:07 PM
I have Kraft desease. A lame little illness putting me one step above alzheimers.
Kan't
Remember
A
Frost-ing
Thing
Damn that mac n cheese
What I do remember is that I don't remember so if I can get a reminder about remembering then maybe I'll remember the reminder about remembering the remembering.
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0 votes
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firelizard SFC 1,191 12
06/25/2004 07:59 PM
I remember being born and then zap....
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=970842
dinesh 24,862 16
06/25/2004 08:25 PM
momento.
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0 votes
0.0
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Marilyn 12,471 13
06/25/2004 08:36 PM
Lady bug, I gave you a click just because I was also confused by the cover of People that week.
I was having an extreme makeover at the time.
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0 votes
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McStupid 13,155 9
06/26/2004 02:40 AM
"Good news, everyone"
I had to give this a clickie just for the Futurama reference.
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
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Chit From Shine-ola 178,757 15
06/26/2004 07:25 AM
I spent about 3-4 months straight with exactly this same syndrome.
Only I was incapable of recalling the fact that I was repeating the same behavior over and over .
Seems like every morning I would wake up buck naked next to my ex girlfriend, (only she hadn't earned the "ex" title yet) and think to myself, Frost ... are we still together ? I was certain I watched her drown in a pool of her own self pitty !
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Bonky 75,728 15
06/26/2004 10:18 AM
Hey! You're Tony Randall!
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0 votes
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ringworm 68,315 13
06/26/2004 04:55 PM
or tony robbins.
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0 votes
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Snipe*Star 244 8
06/26/2004 04:59 PM
i have bad memory retention, due mainly to drugs and hittin my head on things. mom dropped me a lot too.
but 2 thumbs up on the post. good stuff.
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0 votes
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Teh Porn Producer 7,627 9
06/26/2004 05:05 PM
HEY! There is absolutely nothing wrong with drugs. They are not an excuse. I hereby condone.... ummm nevermind. Carry on.
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=971488
superturkey 6,678 0
06/26/2004 05:07 PM
Ha! john, that wasn't as good as the mcdonalds call, but still good.
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