Anita Humpalot 6,762 9
07/02/2004 05:31 AM

Hey, what the hell gives? I am supposedly logged in, but it's treating me like I'm NLI.

Anita Humpalot 6,762 9
07/02/2004 05:31 AM

Oh, there it goes.

McStupid 13,155 9
07/02/2004 05:39 AM

But you DIDN'T say without the use of alcohol.



If it just so happens that neither of you remember what happened the night before, you could pull it off.

Anita Humpalot 6,762 9
07/02/2004 05:41 AM

Well, we're old Army buddies, so he expects me to take him on drink for drink. If he's going to get trashed to Hell, so would I. What good would it do me to not remember what happened the night before? I'd be back at square one. Only I'd be wondering why I feel so sore in the morning.

McStupid 13,155 9
07/02/2004 05:41 AM

Who in the world is this mookie person?

Anita Humpalot 6,762 9
07/02/2004 05:43 AM

Bible Thumpers and extreme religious freaks shall lick My anus.



Anita 3:69

McStupid 13,155 9
07/02/2004 05:44 AM

Yeah, you're right. It would be nice to remember what happened if you really like this guy.



Okay, have the two of you even flirted with eachother in the past?

McStupid 13,155 9
07/02/2004 05:46 AM

Hey, if anyone is going to shoot my dog, it'll be me.

Anita Humpalot 6,762 9
07/02/2004 05:49 AM

You shore gotcherself a purty mouf, Mook.

17,582 13
07/02/2004 05:50 AM

Yowzer!

Anita Humpalot 6,762 9
07/02/2004 05:51 AM

Yeah, we flirt shamelessly with each other. Only, here's the thing. I'm a total tomboy, so 99.9999% of my friends are all dudes. And not just that, but they see me as "one of the boys" too, minus the plumbing. I'm not sure how he'd take an advance from me. Or slipping a roofie into his drink.

Mr. Mookie 17,582 13
07/02/2004 05:52 AM

If you are picking up Shakespeare off the ground and eating it you might be retarded.

Mr. Mookie 17,582 13
07/02/2004 05:55 AM

Hit deep! *plays some Jazz music* Welcome to the realm of pure time, and dimension when we to share waves. The smooth smooth summer sliding down your shafts of long pure lighting the sunshiney way. Badooobadoo dabi. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

McStupid 13,155 9
07/02/2004 05:57 AM

Hmm, if you're one of the "dudes" that could be a problem. Is this guy staying in a hotel while he's in town or at your place?

Anita Humpalot 6,762 9
07/02/2004 05:58 AM

What are you high on, Mook?



So I can go out and get me some of whatever it is.

McStupid 13,155 9
07/02/2004 05:59 AM

Mookie, go slit your throat.

Anita Humpalot 6,762 9
07/02/2004 06:00 AM

If he stayed at my place, my father would probably castrate him. I live with my parents at the present mo. I moved down to the Dominican Republic and gave up having any semblance of a social life to help take care of my mentally ill momma. Hence not getting laid in forever and a day.

Mr. Mookie 17,582 13
07/02/2004 06:06 AM

Citalopram Hydrobromide 40mg

Ethyl Alcohol 45kg

Tetrahydrocannabinol 400mg

Lysergic Acid Diethylamide 6mg

Vitamin C 500mg

Mr. Mookie 17,582 13
07/02/2004 06:07 AM

Help they are breathing on me again!!! Always with the breathing won't they stop?

Mr. Mookie 17,582 13
07/02/2004 06:08 AM

The middle one told me to jump!

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/02/2004 06:11 AM

1) Just ask him.

2) You can't.

3) Drink.

4) Profit.

Anita Humpalot 6,762 9
07/02/2004 06:11 AM

Or, some kind of drink with OJ in it. Much obliged.



Disregard McStupid and her slit yer throat comment. I am a big fan of your obsessive stalking work.

McStupid 13,155 9
07/02/2004 06:13 AM

I'm sorry to hear you gave up a good part of your social life. Although, it seems you did so for good reason and you should be proud of that.





Okay, since you really like this guy, make for a night when the two of you can go out to dinner together. It doesn't have to be fancy or romantic. If the two of you can spend some time together that you couldn't before it can really help your interactions.







P.S. If you two have flirted in

the past, do it again. If you don't have a reason to stop, have at it.

Anita Humpalot 6,762 9
07/02/2004 06:16 AM

...Mc, you ARE a "she", right?

McStupid 13,155 9
07/02/2004 06:17 AM

Didn't mean to be rude, mookie. No offense intended.

McStupid 13,155 9
07/02/2004 06:17 AM

Nope, I would be a guy. Just trying to offer some advice for anyone willing to listen.

Anita Humpalot 6,762 9
07/02/2004 06:19 AM

... and you are heterosexual?

Dolphin Meat 2,598 9
07/02/2004 06:28 AM

Say, "Gee, my feet are sore. Will you give me a foot-rub".



And then, "Wow, your hands feel good. Will you give me a backrub?



Here, let me get this shirt out of the way."



If the guy has half a bone in his body, he won't be thinking of you as "one of the guys".

McStupid 13,155 9
07/02/2004 06:30 AM

Yes, indeed. I just play gay on the acting career I don't have.

McStupid 13,155 9
07/02/2004 06:32 AM

I agree with Dolphin. He brings up a good point.

Dolphin Meat 2,598 9
07/02/2004 06:41 AM

And as far as the friendship goes, yeah, it can be a little awkward dealing with an 'EX'-lover. (Jealousy runs rampant). But if you two are already that close, why not get closer?



I've found that my closer friendships are the friendships that have survived times of strain.



And, (before anybody else brings it up---) yes I DO have friends!

Dolphin Meat 2,598 9
07/02/2004 06:43 AM

TWO YEARS!!??!?



*runs away in horror*

Anita Humpalot 6,762 9
07/02/2004 06:47 AM

Tell that to Mr. Morality. He gets protective at the clubs when guys eye me. But not in a "You's my ladee..." sorta way, but rather "Why are they looking at you all funny-like?" I don't think he sees me as anything attractive.



We flirt shamelessly, and we get along great, but he has not a damn clue.



It's a lost cause, isn't it? *sigh* (Quoth the raven... Nevermore.)

2,598 9
07/02/2004 07:28 AM

Just go down on him. All guys like blow jobs.

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/02/2004 07:33 AM

No, we're mostly just being polite.

StormKat 2,051 9
07/02/2004 10:57 AM

Use your Kathleen Turner voice and say:



"Would you put that in me?"

Anita Bottle Of Aloe Vera 6,762 9
07/15/2004 12:54 PM

Update:



Okay, so I've been running rampant halfway across this damn island of mine with my friend Kris. So far, we've gone through every single historical monument, gone to three different beaches (and proceeded to get horribly sunburned--I'm sitting here wondering why a cool leather-cushioned chair feels like scalding iron on the entire length of my derrire), I'm sore as hell from far too much horseback riding for my own good, and... so far, between us, NOTHING. I mean, absolutely NOTHING. He must (a) be gay-in-denial, or (b) just not see me as anything worth even having a fling with.



I dunno what to make of it, because he hasn't made any single damn comment on ANY of the women he has seen since he's been here. Now, If there is ANYTHING that the Dominican Republic does NOT lack (for a change), it is beautiful women all over the place--women that outright put me to shame, to say the least. In fact, DR was, for the longest time, the best-kept secret in the world as far as its lovely array of the fairer sex, and then our very own Amelia Vega managed to snag Miss Universe last year, putting us on the map and instigating a massive influx of horny male tourists to our (not-so)fair isle.

Anita Bottle Of Aloe Vera 6,762 9
07/15/2004 12:55 PM

Anyway, I outright told him just what I think of him. He had absolutely nothing to say on the matter. So I dropped it altogether and made some lame comment about the weather and about how particularly tasty the sandwich I was eating happened to be at that particular moment. He made some lame comment about what a great friend I am and how much I mean to him in an attempt to try and make me feel better for having just made a damn fool of myself.



So that's that. I give up. If, as a woman, I can't manage a relationship in three years, let alone pull of a damn FLING of all things, that tells me that I need to call it quits and just renounce sexuality as I know it. I'll be taking a trip to the convent on the other side of town to have a word with Mother Superior tomorrow morning.

TTJane-Spicey is God like in his coolness 173,958 15
07/15/2004 12:58 PM

Anita, I have sworn to protect you here on GAB. But, if you don't stop being so long-winded, that's going to be really hard to do.

Teh Porn Producer is losing his job?! 7,627 9
07/15/2004 01:01 PM

I told him I'd castrate him if he touched you. He knows I was serious. Now, come to NJ!

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/15/2004 01:01 PM

No, no; what you need to do now is find someone who is not a friend and just have random sex. You will then be less desperate and probably will have way better luck.



Of course, this comes from a virgin, so I don't know how good my advice is.

Chris Garrett....aka Craven ANYhead 86,932 12
07/15/2004 01:04 PM

LORD DYRAN???? A VIRGIN?????



NO WAY!!!



I'D have never guessed that!!

Anita Bottle Of Aloe Vera 6,762 9
07/15/2004 01:05 PM

TTJ--I haven't posted a single thing in over a week. So, I think I am entitled to ONE long-winded thread. As far as you being sworn to protect me, don't feel obligated to do so 'cause He asked you to. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself.



But thank you for looking out for me, anyways. And, try and talk to him to get him to come back. I miss Him somethin' fierce.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
07/15/2004 01:12 PM

give him the "shy-but-naughty" come hither look.



I find the 'come hitler' look works better...

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/15/2004 01:18 PM

It's that obvious, is it?

Ditdah - csme's lesbian bitch 123,102 14
07/15/2004 01:22 PM

Anita, where the hell have you been? There are some even newer n00bs than us here that need your special brand of hellfire and brimstone to get them in line. No one quite has the touch that you do.



And I LIKE your touch...

TTJane-Spicey is God like in his coolness 173,958 15
07/15/2004 01:27 PM

Anita, i wouldn't defend anybody just because somebody asked, not even Him.

Anita Bottle Of Aloe Vera 6,762 9
07/15/2004 01:33 PM

For the past week, I've been, unsuccessfully, trying to get laid. And, I actually make an attempt at having a life every once in a while. There IS life after GAB, amazingly enough.



The HellFire and Brimstone position is already taken up, honey. Our resident Hazer is Hammerhead. Not only that, but I'm technically a n00b, too, so I'm not supposed to haze anyway. I'm just here to dish out a little bit of my own brand of Bitch Love to whoever decides to incur my, er, Special Touch.

Anita Bottle Of Aloe Vera 6,762 9
07/15/2004 01:37 PM

Then why are you defending me, TTJ? He thinks very highly of you, so it wouldn't be a surprise that He would have asked you to look out for me.



I really wish you were on AIM right now. You know, with the evil Commie spies on here and all picking up the codetalk.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
07/15/2004 01:38 PM

my, er, Special Touch



Maybe you could special touch yourself, and this whole problem would be solved...

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/15/2004 01:43 PM

Well for whatever the opinion of a horny, virgin 19-year-old who just saw your pictures is, Anita, I think your buddy was a fool for passing up the opportunity.

TTJane-Spicey is God like in his coolness 173,958 15
07/15/2004 01:44 PM

I signded on just for you, anita.

Darren of Doom 188 8
07/15/2004 01:44 PM

TTJ--I haven't posted a single thing in over a week. So, I think I am entitled to ONE long-winded thread. As far as you being sworn to protect me, don't feel obligated to do so 'cause He asked you to. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself.





Well, THERE's your problem!



Go jogging or something.

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
07/15/2004 02:43 PM

I think everyone is giving men way too much credit. We are all very shallow creatures. If you wanna get in his pants, get a little drunk, and pull out his ding dong, and put it in your mouth.



If he is not into you like that, he will let you know, most likely after he has shot his stud butter down your throat, and your friendship will remain fully intact.

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
07/15/2004 02:51 PM

It could be that he truely does value your friendship and did not want to spoil it. I have turned down sex before for that reason, along with a woman being too drunk, a woman just breaking up with her boyfriend, a woman still dating her boyfriend and a woman's little sister watching us.

I have kicked myself everyday for this but i pretend that they were the right decisions.