Chickens aint in Kansas anymore 286,472 61
07/08/2004 05:18 AM

My friend the bunny was following me across the road, and......

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/08/2004 05:25 AM

I had an emotional breakdown in the grocery store, crying all over the canned food aisle.



Left the canopener at home again, huh?

Alpha Maelstrom (click name for disclaimer) 5,097 15
07/08/2004 05:25 AM

Maybe this will cheer you up?

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/08/2004 05:28 AM

Dear God.

Alpha Maelstrom (click name for disclaimer) 5,097 15
07/08/2004 05:30 AM

Hail to the KING, baby!

The mysterious Snork 45,655 12
07/08/2004 08:52 AM

I hope you didn't let all that good meat go to waste.



P.S. Sour Cream is great with bunny.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
07/08/2004 09:03 AM

but those new bunny slippers cheered you up right ?!

Briham 38,843 10
07/08/2004 10:26 AM

I was having a pretty bad day...until I bought the gun. You'll probably read about it in the paper soon.

Teh Porn Producer 7,627 9
07/08/2004 10:39 AM

What days have you all had that just seem to add up into a big pile of crappiness?



Well, yesterday sucked. Today will too. Tomorrow isn't looking any better either. Aw hell, that's just about everyday, really.

McStupid 13,155 9
07/08/2004 11:04 AM

Roadkill stew sounds mighty good about now. You hungry, Jethro?

superfly 1,145 8
07/08/2004 11:08 AM

Ewww every time i brake on a bunny they always stick to the tread.

Kareno The Awesome 1,253 9
07/08/2004 05:32 PM

This morning



-wake up frantically, 30 minutes late for work

-realize today is a work-free day

-repeat as needed



I can't even help myself out

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
07/08/2004 05:46 PM

You think you had a bad day, I was eating some rabbit for dinner and there was a chunk of asphalt in it.

burningchrome 507 9
07/08/2004 07:31 PM

I remember riding with the wife and kids, out in the country, on a 4th of July several years ago. We were cruising down a 2-lane highway, about 60, enjoying the scenery, killing time til we went to see fireworks at the local horse track. Well, I see these birds in the road and dont think much of it, birds fly, right? They were small birds, sparrows I thought. They fly away when cars come up on them. There were maybe 10 or so just milling about in my lane. Like i said, i was doing like 60MPH and didnt give em a whole lotta thought, until I got maybe 10 feet away from em and they made no move to flee. Well, with the kids in the back seat, being quiet and good for once, I wasn't about to go slamming on the brakes and cause a commotion for a bunch of stupid sparrows. I plowed thru the lot of them, wontering why in Frost they didn't fly, looked in the rearview and saw some were flat and others rolling aound. Then I saw the look on my wife's face. I asked, "What? The stupid birds wouldn't fly away and you're mortified?"

She proceeds to inform me thus, "You Frost-ing idiot, those were baby ducks following thier mother"

So much for wildlife camoflauge and darwinism.

Mofo Baggins of the Hill People 10,950 10
07/08/2004 11:05 PM

I am teh bunny slayer! I'm serious I live in the country and average 2-3 rabbits a week. They're kinda lethargic around 6:00 AM and make easy targets unfortunate victims. They're so out of it, that I was running and stepped on a little baby one. I felt horrible when it just went *SQUISH* under my shoe. They weren't my shoes, they belonged to a friend and I had to return them covered in blood with little pieces of brain and skull stuck in the tread of the soles.

Alpha Maelstrom (click name for disclaimer) 5,097 15
07/10/2004 01:27 AM

First of all, my sister called me a wabbit-whacker for a number of years. We lived in pennsylvania, and the rabbits would come the hills in our backyard from the field behind our house occassionally, so my mother would save scraps for them, pretty much any vegetables that weren't eaten the day they were fixed. Ever tried to feed a wild rabbit lettuce and carrots with trees behind it, people on one side, and front, a nice big hill on the other side? The little bastard would see me toss it beside him, and hop away from it, thinking I was trying to hit it, but not run full-tilt, feeling trapped. I decided if I winged the carrot fast enough, to get it in front of it before it tried to flee, it would actually see it. Didn't work. It hopped, head first, into a nice thick 70mph (or so) carrot. Spun a perfect 180 on both axises. Twitched for a good fifeteen minutes while my sister cried and yelled at me. It eventually got up and ran off, but it was entertaining, none the less.



More importantly, though, this NEEDED to be bumped. I may not like noobs like burning chrome, but I have Dr. Pepper in my sinuses from that bird post. Sure he's an idiot, but situational comedy is always... uh... Frost. Nevermind. I'M A PRETTY LITTLE GIRL!

pissflaps: NEW cherry flavoured 367 9
07/10/2004 01:41 AM

You Frost-ing idiot, those were baby ducks following thier mother"





Clickies to you!!!! Frost-ing hilarious....





I hope you made a nice stirfry out of tender duck!



RECIPE:



a few veggies

peanut oil

olive oil

sesame oil

hoison sauce

orange rind

orange juice



INSTRUCTIONS:

-if ducks are still moving ring necks

-pluck, gut (if any left)

-chop into small pieces (or peg together with toothpics if already too small)

-stir fry duck chunks in peanut oil

-add sesame oil

-cook until tender or ducks stop whimpering (in case you cut short the first few steps and where lazy and used whole baby ducks

-add rest of ingredients

-simmer 1 hour

-eat

Briham 38,843 10
07/10/2004 11:39 AM

I feel like a worse person now since I laughed and gave a clickie for a story about killing ducklings. SFW

Shazza 14,124 11
03/24/2005 10:13 AM

The other night, a lady and her two children were driving home from the kid's choir practice and hit a deer. The deer wasn't killed, but hurt significantly. The police showed up to take her accident information etc. They tagged the deer to be picked up by the public works dept. and proceeded to shoot the deer to put it out of its misery.....in front of the two kids. NICE!!

McChickens Nuggets 286,472 61
03/24/2005 10:22 AM

BAD POLICEMAN KILL BAMBI'S MOTHER!!! HULK SMASH!!!