Fratberry 282,833 53
07/12/2004 11:41 AM

You sure you weren't just up real late playing The Sims?

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/12/2004 11:43 AM

It means you're horny and sexually frustrated.

Pubah 56,805 18
07/12/2004 11:45 AM

Your brain edits the juicy parts cause it doesn't like doing laundry in the morning.

SHP is feeling optimistic today 181,718 70
07/12/2004 11:45 AM

It means you're horny and sexually frustrated.



If I'd wanted a true dream interpretation, do you think I'd have posted it here?

Nerd in a Panzer 27,000 12
07/12/2004 11:46 AM

<action><-------here for girls to have sex with lots seriously really please sexsexsex SKEETSKEETSKEETSKEET!</action>

FrostYou 347 9
07/12/2004 11:48 AM

So we'll say some useless Shakespeare and see how you like it.



Your brain probably skipped over the sex because in real life you probably are a virgin and can't fathom it.

Or not.

Pubah 56,805 18
07/12/2004 11:48 AM

There's a cure for sexual frustration and hornilliation...



Post your address, Mookie or one of our other staff members will be at your door within days.

Roses, merlot, lassagna then a good foot massage followed by drunkenness, and mad sporking lurve.

Cuddling afterward will cost extra.

Pegleg Chickens 286,472 61
07/12/2004 11:49 AM

You know what I hate? When you're working up to the sex in a dream with someone you wouldn't in any way ever have the sex with, then you wake up, but can't help but wish you had just been able to finish.

Teh Porn Producer 7,627 9
07/12/2004 11:49 AM

What about pancakes? In the morning. Are those extra as well?

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
07/12/2004 11:50 AM

Dating a football player / bachelor and editing out the sex ?

That sounds like a "formatted-by-too-much-TV-viewing" dream.



In the "formatted-by-too-much-interweb-surfing" dream, you get all the sex, but your sex partners are "FREEEE Barely Legal MATURE PRETEEN Old Tarts !!!!!"

Nerd in a Panzer 27,000 12
07/12/2004 11:51 AM

Post your address, Mookie or one of our other staff members will be at your door within days.

Roses, merlot, lassagna then a good foot massage followed by drunkenness, and mad sporking lurve.

Cuddling afterward will cost extra.





Silly negro! Mookie doesn't like girls!

Pegleg Chickens 286,472 61
07/12/2004 11:54 AM

clarification: someone who you would not choose to have sex with, like your mother, or a guy, gross stuff.



then you feel guilty cause the first thing through your mind was I wish I could have at least finished.



ewww

Nerd in a Panzer 27,000 12
07/12/2004 11:55 AM

CHICKENS IS TEH GAY!!! AND HEARTS TEH INCEST!!!!!!

SHP is feeling optimistic today 181,718 70
07/12/2004 11:56 AM

Mailman, what you say is funny to me because I haven't had TV in my house since April. I read books and do watch some DVD's but I don't have any real live TV.



Also, to whomever said I was a virgin: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

turtle10 42,574 26
07/12/2004 11:59 AM

it's that damn FCC again, but now they are affecting our dreams

Pegleg Chickens 286,472 61
07/12/2004 12:00 PM

I WAS JUST MAKEING UP EXAMPLES AND CHARACTERS PORTRAYED HAVE NO SIMILARITIES TO REAL LIFE AND STUFF!

Nerd in a Panzer 27,000 12
07/12/2004 12:00 PM

...lies...

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
07/12/2004 12:02 PM

I read books and do watch some DVD's but I don't have any real live TV.



Oh that explains it then. The sex part of your dreams is in the "Extra Features" disc.

Nerd in a Panzer 27,000 12
07/12/2004 12:03 PM

I was in the extra features part of your mom last night. Then I shot some deleted scenes all over her face.

Pubah 56,805 18
07/12/2004 12:16 PM

Breakfast won't cost ya if I...uh he can stay and eat.

Mr. Mookie 17,582 13
07/12/2004 07:37 PM

Mookie doesn't like girls!



Where did this come from? Having no preference does not imply a dislike.



"Would you like a breast or thigh?"

"I'll take a wing."

"FAG!"

burning-teh-chrome 507 9
07/12/2004 07:48 PM

Sex is a bad, dirty, filthy, nasty practice performed by harlots and drunken pirates. stay away from it if you value your life. your dream was an omen. heed its warning. refrain from even touching yourself. i cannot stress enough the evils associated with such thoughts and deeds.

you must be purged of your ribald demons!!!

GET THEE TO A NUNNERY!!!

The High Priestess of Pirates Arrrgh! 58,869 29
07/12/2004 07:49 PM

Mmmmmmm, rum soaked pirates, yarrrr.

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/12/2004 09:59 PM

Wait ... you get us all horny and then tell us to go to a nunnery? Geez ... and you called US filthy.

Pampered Princess 171,270 14
07/12/2004 10:14 PM

Don't worry SHP, you get laid in my dreams all the time.

Marilyn 12,471 13
07/12/2004 10:23 PM

You has what is called a lucid contraceptive dream.



Regrettably for you, that means no orgasms for 1 year.

StormKat 2,051 9
07/13/2004 12:52 AM

All your sex dreams are belong to us!

FoxNewsLive 79 8
07/13/2004 02:01 AM

If you can't get laid in your dreams it is probably a reflection of what happens in real life.

Bong Rip Bob 320 8
07/13/2004 02:29 AM

I wake up with a boner every morning and man slime all over my pants but I never remember what I dream about.

Minion Of Evil 28 8
07/28/2004 02:24 AM

You must be broken...

Pistol luvs you with bullets 10,071 9
07/28/2004 03:48 AM

Dear SHP,

Vibrators are you friends They're quick, efficient, and as long as they have fresh batteries, they'll be just as sexually frustrated as you are.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
07/28/2004 04:02 AM

Getting laid when your awake is soooo much more fun [unless its the local fotty team, thats just nasty]

AussieSarah 8,390 9
07/28/2004 04:03 AM

bugga fotty =foOty.

Damn painkillers

Emenius Front - It's A Put On 1,433 10
07/28/2004 05:07 AM

Don't feel too bad, I can barely get any from my own hand.

SuperDuper 280 10
07/28/2004 06:04 AM

Me either.I usually have to stop and fight off the heavily armed rabid gorillas when things get hot.

Pegleg Chickens 286,472 61
07/28/2004 08:53 AM

I mix this frozen drink with blackberry brandy, and was dreaming about mixing up a batch and damned if I didn't wake up with the taste in my mouth. I could still taste it 5 minutes later.



The brain has it's own reasoning.

Sexual Harassment Panda 181,718 70
07/28/2004 12:42 PM

I lost my sunglasses in my house somewhere. I dreamed last night that I found them, but now I can't remember the dream.



So my subconscious doesn't want me to find my glasses?

Chocolate Smeared Stoat - mmm, a tasty treat 9,077 10
07/28/2004 12:57 PM

Depends... are they Oakleys? Your sub-conscious is fly, yo

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
07/28/2004 01:40 PM

I had a dream last night, that every single, dating age woman felt the need to tell me all my flaws and call me a loser. They were very creative with their insults. When they started repeating themselves too much, they just turned their backs to my like i was the dishonoured one in an old kung fu movie.



I did not wake up with a positive outlook on the day.

Sexual Harassment Panda 181,718 70
07/28/2004 01:55 PM

You're a butthead, butthead, butthead, butthead...

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
07/28/2004 01:57 PM

I think you are right Panda.

Maybe it wasn't a dream after all, maybe it was just yesterday.

csme: bi curious about Ditdah 15,189 12
07/28/2004 01:58 PM

"...Let's try not to use GAB as your personal message board..."