The High Priestess of Stewie 58,869 29
07/14/2004 10:41 PM

Why do you ask? Do you want to keep rythem with us?

TTJane-Spicey is God like in his coolness 173,958 15
07/14/2004 10:46 PM

As I've said before, I'm new to the whole masturbation thing. So I'm just wondering about other people.

Spicey McHaggis loves TTJ American Style 117,752 36
07/14/2004 10:49 PM

I think it would be easier to count the times I'm not masturbating.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
07/14/2004 10:52 PM

stuff that - i got married and now get sex when & where i want it.

[note: an interstate bus is not a good place - its great but your likely to be kicked of the bus when the 2 nuns in front of you complain to the bus drive]

The High Priestess of Stewie 58,869 29
07/14/2004 10:53 PM

Well, I personally have never found satisfaction buy myself. I have generally used a toy. I like to get there quickly and then bulid my self back up.

BooBoo Kitty Breed 2,640 9
07/14/2004 10:54 PM

I agree with Spicey on the 1st part



and for the 2nd part I must in turn ask you, Is it not true that it is a rare, very rare jewel indeed when a guy can even get you to one, much less 2,3 etc..refer to John's article on Viagra.. it's true!



Anonymous-Low speed, high speed, who needs a man speed <action>blush</action>

TTJane-Spicey is God like in his coolness 173,958 15
07/14/2004 10:59 PM

So, Spicey-are you masturbating right now?



What are you wearing?



Are you thinking of me?















Are you masturbating now?

Trae: Please return me to my upright position 156,785 17
07/14/2004 11:00 PM

1 - Two to three times a day in a good week.



2 - Hell no I don't stop.

Spicey McHaggis loves TTJ American Style 117,752 36
07/14/2004 11:09 PM

Janey - yes, nothing, yes, and yes.

TTJane-Spicey is God like in his coolness 173,958 15
07/14/2004 11:18 PM

Trae, I think you just made a lot of men (and some women) very happy.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
07/14/2004 11:27 PM

BooBoo

your obviously sleeping with the wrong bloke - find a MAN who knows what he's doing! [then marry him !]

TTJane-Spicey is God like in his coolness 173,958 15
07/14/2004 11:28 PM

Now?

BooBoo Kitty Breed 2,640 9
07/14/2004 11:34 PM

Follows Sarah's advice and goes off a'huntin with her rope and tape and a month's supply of elephant tranquilizers ....wish me luck!

Fartpuppy - Now with 20% more lurk 5,142 13
07/14/2004 11:36 PM

No luck for you until you learn how to use action tags.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
07/14/2004 11:53 PM

Boo

take some cream , a whip , ice & some fresh vegetables with you too.........

BooBoo Kitty Breed 2,640 9
07/14/2004 11:59 PM

Ok I can see some possible uses with the cream and the whip, and possibly even the ice...but why the fresh veggies?

Fartpuppy - Now with 20% more lurk 5,142 13
07/15/2004 12:01 AM

For antioxidents.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
07/15/2004 12:04 AM

you ummmm - Shakespeare use your imagination - just how young are you ????

Bong Rip Bob 320 8
07/15/2004 12:04 AM

I only masturbate when I'm awake.

newwave 45,912 10
07/15/2004 12:13 AM

Only on days ending in the letter "y" for me.



Also, I heard you can only do it x times in one day, where x is how old you are in years. I proved that wrong when I was 14. And 15. And 16...

dinesh 24,862 16
07/15/2004 12:34 AM

once or twice a day. morning and evening.

TTJane-Spicey is God like in his coolness 173,958 15
07/15/2004 12:46 AM

Now I know why Dinesh tries to talk to me every morning and every ngith.

FoxNewsLive 79 8
07/15/2004 01:45 AM

Is it too much masturbation if you start to go limp and blister?

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/15/2004 02:53 AM

Once when I'm going to sleep, once when I'm waking (whacking?) up, and then 0-2 mystery bonus times during the rest of the day, depending on a number of factors. Bedtime and wakeup rounds may be superceded by other activities if I'm going to bed and/or waking up with a ladyfriend.

Miracles 22,430 0
07/15/2004 03:03 AM

Jane - I am a single girl that enjoys the mastuburtory outlet (that is not real speak - I made it up!)



I guess I do it about 3 times a week.

Mofo Baggins, hiding in your rice bowl 10,950 10
07/15/2004 03:05 AM

Frogpop, I think you spend too much time on your realtionship with your hand. There's nothing wrong with women getting off that many times a day, because, well I like to watch that.



Jane: (or any other woman willing) Since you're an amateur at pleasuring yourself, videotape it next time and send it to me, so I can tell you what you're doing right and what you're doing wrong.

Stinks of Mediocrity 1,200 9
07/15/2004 06:10 AM

The only time I'm not is when I run out of sandpaper.

Fartpuppy - Now with 20% more lurk 5,142 13
07/15/2004 06:14 AM

Righto roughnuts.

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/15/2004 08:31 AM

Well, it depends on the day and whether I got any action. If it's been a while, it can be as often as 4-5 times a day (to give some context, I'm a 19 year old male).

Lila 78,550 13
07/15/2004 09:07 AM

With my fiance about 3-4 times a week. With the boyfriend I'm having an affair on him with who has batteries and stays under my bed - maybe only twice a week and always 2 in one session with Mr. Buzzy.

It's rough having a second lover.

Ditdah - csme's lesbian bitch 123,102 14
07/15/2004 09:10 AM

I'm a 27 year old female. I honestly can't remember the last day that went by where I DIDN'T masturbate at least once. When I'm away from my girlfriend, I'm usually 2-3 times a day. And I usually don't stop at 1.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/15/2004 09:16 AM

As a male, I nearly wept at the utter loss when I read And women-do you stop after the first orgasm, or keep going?

Neep, Janeway's personal foot masseuse. 35,066 15
07/15/2004 09:23 AM

Who the hell posted under my name?

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
07/15/2004 10:25 AM

No Shakespeare. I would gladly give up the ability to pee standing up for just one day of multiple orgasms.

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/15/2004 10:27 AM

I would agree, but I think that women have to suffer through pregnancy more than makes up for them having multiple orgasms.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
07/15/2004 10:27 AM

Mem suffer just as much. Nine months of changing the litterbox was HELL.

turtle10 42,574 26
07/15/2004 10:28 AM

I masticate at least 3 to 6 times a day. At least twice sitting in my cube at work

Chris Garrett....aka Craven ANYhead 86,932 12
07/15/2004 10:33 AM

I usually do at least twice a day.



Once with my left hand....then I switch to the right for the second.



It's like someone totally different jerking you off!

Pegleg Chickens 286,472 61
07/15/2004 10:34 AM

I'm with Nutts on this one. We suffered greatly buy living with you girls through 9 months of hormone hell.

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/15/2004 10:38 AM

Nah, pregnancy is nothing when you've lived with a woman going through menopause.

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
07/15/2004 10:41 AM

Your mom?

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/15/2004 10:52 AM

Actually, yes.

Trixxie (Ms. Anita Douche') LeMay 65,021 15
07/15/2004 10:55 AM

On average maybe three times a week, I have not stroked it once this week though. I'm so proud.

Teh Porn Producer is losing his job?! 7,627 9
07/15/2004 10:56 AM

I like sitting on my hands until they get numb then rubbing one off. It feels like a stranger.

Pegleg Chickens 286,472 61
07/15/2004 11:07 AM

Being married does not equal an end to your masturbation. It's often a lot less trouble, faster, on demand, and no waiting. Not as much fun, granted, but still...

AussieSarah 8,390 9
07/15/2004 11:20 AM

pegleg - you have to train you other half right

SHP: it's all about me 181,718 70
07/15/2004 11:26 AM

When I was married, I was a stay-at home mom, so I did it a lot - probably once a day or more.



Now that I'm a working divorcee with a live-in man (so sinful!) I rarely masturbate at all.



When I do, it's always with my BOB, and I always go three times.

Teh Porn Producer is losing his job?! 7,627 9
07/15/2004 11:27 AM

so.turned.on

Pegleg Chickens 286,472 61
07/15/2004 11:44 AM

Train her right?



What, like to sit up and beg?

PersianZug 888 9
07/15/2004 11:51 AM

canada or america? i dont care.i am english. muhuhuhahahahaha.

Pegleg Chickens 286,472 61
07/15/2004 11:59 AM

..therefore tightassed and effite?

Sacapuntas 432 8
07/15/2004 12:09 PM

I like to use household objects for pleasure.



Warning, open bottle = strong suction force = embararrassing ER visit.





Warning, not douching after popsicle= unwanted parasites = embarrassing trip to obgyn

SHP: it's all about me 181,718 70
07/15/2004 12:16 PM

Sacapuntas,



Let me just say....eeewww.



Just eeewww.

Sacapuntas 432 8
07/15/2004 12:22 PM

It actually happened to a friend of mine











Yeah, a uh, friend, that's it.

Ditdah - csme's lesbian bitch 123,102 14
07/15/2004 12:25 PM

A POPSICLE? Yuck. Slimy, sticky, and keeps getting smaller? Where's the fun in that??

Sacapuntas 432 8
07/15/2004 12:33 PM

I'll try anything once.



Warning, if you tell people you pleasure your self with food products, they won't come to your dinner parties

TTJane-Spicey is God like in his coolness 173,958 15
07/15/2004 12:35 PM

sacapuntas, I'm beginning to suspect that they don't come to your dinner parties because you're a Frost-ing idiot, not because they don't like your sexual habits.

Chris Garrett....aka Craven ANYhead 86,932 12
07/15/2004 12:36 PM

I'll reiterate Sacapuntas...



Phone number and schedule??

Oprah'sWank 642 9
07/15/2004 12:50 PM

Has anyone else ever had that problem where you fart while masturbating and it smells so bad you have to quit?



Please tell me I'm not alone on this.

Anita Bottle Of Aloe Vera 6,762 9
07/15/2004 12:55 PM

90% of all women masturbate...the other 10% are nuns!

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/15/2004 01:03 PM

98% of men masturbate. The other 2% are liars.



Nuns masturbate, too; in fact, there have been documented cases of nuns having sex with dogs. A couple were burned at the stake for that very reason.

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/15/2004 01:04 PM

What do you want to bet that last post of mine doubles our hits from google in the next hour?

Anita Bottle Of Aloe Vera 6,762 9
07/15/2004 01:07 PM

95% of people masturbate. The other 5% have no hands.

Oprah'sWank 642 9
07/15/2004 01:12 PM

95% of people masturbate. The other 5% have no hands.



You left out percentage points for unichs.

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/15/2004 01:15 PM

Dude, eunuchs can still have sex/masturbate AND still want to. The only thing that affects their sex drive is the lowered testosterone.



If testosterone were the only thing that made you horny, women would NEVER want sex.

Ditdah - csme's lesbian bitch 123,102 14
07/15/2004 01:17 PM

I have no problem masturbating without the use of my hands.



And I have.

Oprah'sWank 642 9
07/15/2004 01:34 PM

Thank you Lord Dyran for the knowledge you have brought to our attention in oreder to put me in my place. Next time do not leave out all the knowledge on Unichs. Unichs(I prefer to spell it this way cause it has to be annoying by now) were castrated in one of three ways. 1) Removal of both testicles and penis, leaving the man with only a hole for urination. 2) Removal of only testicles before the boy reach puberty, leaving the future man totally non-sexual. 3) Removal of testicles after puberty, leaving the man capable of achieving erection but no ejaculation. Therefore, if a unich was castrated in ways such as 1 or 2 how could he have sex or masturbate?

Sacapuntas 432 8
07/15/2004 03:18 PM

Chris, are you just craven head?

bob the weasel slayer 166 8
07/15/2004 05:20 PM

i cant masterbate

(frizbee accident)

so it is all up to my girlfriend

bob the weasel slayer 166 8
07/15/2004 05:21 PM

masturbate

sorry

piXXXie 5,871 11
07/15/2004 08:59 PM

I have a question for the ladies with vibrators. My friends and I often argue as to whether it is better to actually penetrate with the vibraor or simply hold it to orgasm on the happy button.



Thoughts? Ideas? Experiences?



Personally, I keep it on the button and go at least twice. It just feels awkward to have this thick plastic loud machine INSIDE of me. Anyway...on with the discussion...

Pegleg Chickens 286,472 61
07/15/2004 09:19 PM

Kandie Korn, and old time gabber and once internet adult toy purveyor, recommended this model, which covered both of your concerns.

Ditdah - csme's lesbian bitch 123,102 14
07/15/2004 09:28 PM

I don't like my vibrator to penetrate. I feel I orgasm stronger and faster and more times if I just hold it on my 'happy spot'. I can usually go in about 2 minutes that way, and then I slowly build myself up a few more times and it is stronger each time.



I also have a waterproof vibe - fun in the bath and shower!!!



Ok, all you guys out there horny now?

Fluro 14,139 11
07/15/2004 09:30 PM

i needa bin by my bed, that way i can aim, fire and go straight to sleep without having to walk to the toilet to flush the tissues.



Oh, and hand lotion changed my life.

Robin: Jane's new bitch 14,626 9
07/15/2004 10:49 PM

I have a live in so I don't need to masturbate often, before sex I would go anywhere from 1-5 times a day. usually had to to go to sleep.



I usually use the vibrator on my happy spot and usually go about twice to tree times.

Chit From Shine-ola 178,762 15
07/16/2004 11:15 AM

I'm having my left nut removed and having a lotion dispenser put in instead !



(Robert Schimmel)

Enaj Potelbat 173,958 15
09/27/2004 11:32 PM

Levi, what the hell did you do a search on to pull up this old thread of mine? Masturbation?

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/28/2004 12:10 AM

I want an update. TTJ, any better lately?

Fluro 14,139 11
09/28/2004 12:15 AM

Far too much.

Enaj Potelbat 173,958 15
09/28/2004 12:20 AM

Well, it is what it is. As I've said before, I only started masturbating within the past year. At first, I was a bit clumsy and was often left with a sore and tender nub. But I have gotten better at it. Practise does indeed make perfect.

Enaj Potelbat 173,958 15
09/28/2004 12:21 AM

Practice also makes perfect, too.



PS please don't allow me to post anymore when I've been drinking. Jesus, my father is going to read this Shakespeare tommorrow.

millie 116,984 28
09/28/2004 12:47 AM

Jesus is your father?

Enaj Potelbat 173,958 15
09/28/2004 12:49 AM

Yes. Yes he is.

But Sy the Photo guy is the father that provided the sperm for me to be born.

millie 116,984 28
09/28/2004 01:03 AM

Jesus is father to all of us.



He loves us all, even the sinners and non-believers...





WHO WILL, NONETHELESS, FRY IN HELL FOR ETERNITY!

Polo Chukker 4,634 11
09/28/2004 01:08 AM

Frogpop, I think you spend too much time on your realtionship with your hand.



I think so too.



Especially when you have a perfectly willing sex maniac for a "ladyfriend"



I've got your number now, froggy.

Pop-Tart Dude 53 8
09/28/2004 02:32 AM

My ass always gets wicked sweaty ont he seat then im all pissed cuz my ass sweats

Gabe 9,232 13
09/28/2004 02:49 AM

That comment about masturbating with a bottle and getting it stuck cracked me up.



When I was growing up, the only two area codes in our town were 384 and 387. Our phone number's evil twin that shared the last four digits was a service offered by the hospital called 'Dial Harmony'.



From somewhere you got this little pamphlet containing a whole mess of topics you might need help with, then you call up Dial Harmony, request a tape number, then they play you a recording.



I remember people calling our house all the time asking for the tape on masturbation. It specifically noted the dangers of masturbating with a bottle.



I'd give anything to have been older and meaner back then. I could have made a whole bunch of fake tapes and really Frosted up peoples' heads.

Dead Battery 2,533 9
01/24/2005 09:15 PM

I mucho masturbato. Lots. To young girls. Like a bit of cotton candy above a paper cut... Beautiful.

Dweezil Meniketti 77,546 17
01/25/2005 12:21 AM

Every day or so. I'm usually thinking of Kittuns.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/28/2006 03:59 AM

The things you can learn about internet strangers.



Especially YOU! You know who you are.