ringworm 68,315 13
07/19/2004 02:54 AM

one day i had an epiphany while i was standing in a patch of shoulder-high grass at the golf course where i worked, smoking a cigarette, and sneezing my lungs out: i cannot quit school because if this were really my life and not just my summer job, i would be totally mexican within the year.



or dead. can you die from seasonal allergies?

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/19/2004 03:18 AM

In Soviet Russia, the seasons are allergic to YOU!

Emenius Front - It's A Put On 1,433 10
07/19/2004 04:14 AM

I had an epiphany today while cranking one off to internet porn. I need a girlfriend, or a Frostbuddy, either one.

Humphrey B Bear 51,764 12
07/19/2004 04:45 AM

Porn?



or



Frost buddy?

Emenius Front - It's A Put On 1,433 10
07/19/2004 06:06 AM

Well, a hole's a hole

Emenius Front - It's A Put On 1,433 10
07/19/2004 06:07 AM

And alcohol makes it so

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/19/2004 09:54 AM

If al you need is a hole, go Frost a tree knot.



Gives an all-ew meaning to nature-lover, don't it?

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/19/2004 09:55 AM

Er, crap. All-new.

The mysterious Snork 45,655 12
07/19/2004 09:59 AM

all-ew works better.

Pubah 56,805 18
07/19/2004 11:54 AM

While watching some saggy-short, half t-shirt wearing Wal-Mart EMPLOYEE "holla" at a big butt, white spandex-black thong wearing hoochie, I realized that my life's vocation should be



Wal-Mart Parking Lot Pimp



Where do I go to school to learn that?

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/19/2004 11:55 AM

Hm. You've got a point, Snork. Poor tree, getting off-white gunk all inside it.

Pistol luvs you with bullets 10,071 9
07/19/2004 12:02 PM

I have to ask, Calliope, do you work with a lot of hicks?

Pubah 56,805 18
07/19/2004 12:02 PM

Watch the splinters...

Lots of splinters





What did people use for "Toys" before latex became commercially accessable?

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/19/2004 12:04 PM

They used bald sheep.

Pubah 56,805 18
07/19/2004 12:05 PM

You're saying, that's where the concept of boned chicken came from?

Pegleg Chickens 286,472 61
07/19/2004 12:13 PM

I love the word "Epiphany". I gave you a clickie just for using it. I would give you another one for the correct life-decision, but Jeff only allows one per post.

Declan McManus, Irritated American. 131,874 36
07/19/2004 12:16 PM

Even more amazing, you spelled it correctly!

TheFoye 55,700 16
07/19/2004 12:17 PM

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Pegleg Chickens 286,472 61
07/19/2004 12:18 PM

Declan, go to the girly man thread. I want your take on it.

Chance 171,270 14
07/19/2004 12:21 PM

Today I had an epiphany while sitting outside of the Wal-Mart where I work

Oh please tell me youre a door greeter!

TheFoye 55,700 16
07/19/2004 12:21 PM

If you haven't much education you must use your brain.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
07/19/2004 12:54 PM

all-ew works better.



I find that All-EWE is even better...

Pubah 56,805 18
07/19/2004 12:55 PM

<action>Reads another chapter in his recently "found" Pimpology book



Chapter IIV

How to Pimp Slap and Not Leave Bruises

Misplaced 89 9
07/19/2004 04:44 PM

Not that I'm an expert, but I think your roman numeralage is a wee messed up. Did you mean 3? Cuz that's III. Or did you mean 25? Cuz ten's are Xs.



And really, they're not DOOR greeters... the doors don't care if we greet them or not! They're People Greeters. How quaint, yes? Of course, at the Walmart where I worked, all of our People Greeters were either old or reta mentally disabled and I always found it amusing that part of their job is to stop shoplifters.

Gopher 570 10
07/19/2004 05:50 PM

What a life of luxury.



No Wal -Mart here



or a Mickey D's, or a KFC.



Just a couple of bars, stores and restaurants. A two screen theatre that seats about 100 in one and 50 in the other. They play a new movie every week.



What do we do you ask yourself. We wait to die.

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
07/19/2004 06:06 PM

I wonder... Is it better to have four wal-marts within a half-hour drive, or no wal-marts within a half-hour drive? I'll tell you this, that's a lot of old people getting paid to wave.

DemoMonkey 166,252 10
07/19/2004 06:11 PM

I dated a girl named Epiphany once.



I had to fly to Guatemala to meet her. She was blind in one eye, and had a stuffed alligator that said "Welcome to Miami Beach".

ringworm 68,315 13
07/19/2004 06:29 PM

telephony would be a pretty name for a girl.

The mysterious Snork 45,655 12
07/19/2004 06:35 PM

telephony would be a pretty name for a girl.



*tears well-up as Snork remembers the simple life in Soviet Russia*

Gopher 570 10
07/19/2004 06:41 PM

I wonder... Is it better to have four wal-marts within a half-hour drive, or no wal-marts within a half-hour drive? I'll tell you this, that's a lot of old people getting paid to wave



No Wal-Mart within a 6 hour drive here.

Pubah 56,805 18
07/20/2004 11:27 AM

It's not a Ramen Noodle, it's pimpology for two johns and a gap leg Ho.



You can thank me by voting me Playah of Da Yeah!

Meek Atom 268 8
07/20/2004 01:38 PM

I had a epiphany the other day as I stood pantless in the middle of a crowd of people in a large store, cheeks red(all of them). I realised I either needed to skip town or had to strangle every single person in the room. And thats when the diarehha came at me.





Then I woke up.



Oh yeah, and does anyone else feel unclean as if you are making a deal with the devil or possibly hitler everytime you look into the eyes of the cashiers at wal-mart?

Meek Atom 268 8
07/20/2004 02:09 PM

I am MEEK ATOM! The dreaded thread killer!

Calliope 927 10
07/26/2004 11:00 PM

Yeah, I do work w/ hicks. I'm a cashier and sometimes I am a door greeter also.

Pistol luvs you with bullets 10,071 9
07/27/2004 02:39 AM

Yeah. Hicks can be fun to work with though. I work with a hick waitress named Karen. Should you ever be in an Applebees in Florida, you can recognize her by the three foot long mullet.

MaddMatt -Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
04/17/2005 03:51 AM

Today I had an epiphany while sitting outside of the Wal-Mart where I work



I had a Tiffany once. I think she worked at K-Mart though. We both smoked. I think she still works there. I'm pretty sure she was white trash, but she was so HOT!