Daggy 86,705 14
07/21/2004 05:13 AM

You must not be very good at it.

The mysterious Snork 45,655 12
07/21/2004 05:17 AM

Smack my ass.

Stinks of Mediocrity 1,200 9
07/21/2004 05:18 AM

That's what she keeps telling me!!! But I just chalked it up to fact that women have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. Especially when it comes to their own pleasure.



Nobody tells Stinks of Mediocrity of the ways of pleasure, you just strap yourself in and feel the Gs.

Dolphin Chunks 2,598 9
07/21/2004 05:19 AM

What the hell is a "pronstart"?



And try licking her eyeballs, my girlfriend digs it...

Stinks of Mediocrity 1,200 9
07/21/2004 05:19 AM

Sorry, missed your post Snork....but if you want it, you have to beg, ummm....bitch? I don't like this anymore.

Stinks of Mediocrity 1,200 9
07/21/2004 05:24 AM

What the hell is a "pronstart"?



"pron."

abbr.

1. pronoun.



"start"

v. intr.

1. To begin an activity or a movement; set out.



...nice save!



And try licking her eyeballs, my girlfriend digs it...



I tried that once but the paint kept coming off. Guaranteed for life my ass!

Daggy 86,705 14
07/21/2004 05:24 AM

Tell you what! Why don't you tell her she has absolutely no Frost-ing idea what she's talking about. That should get her in the mood.

Dolphin Chunks 2,598 9
07/21/2004 05:28 AM

Yeah, and then tell her to shut up.

That gets 'em going every time !

Fartpuppy - Now with 20% more lurk 5,142 13
07/21/2004 05:31 AM

My friend was pulling a lollipop out of his girlfriends mouth and knocked a tooth out.



Later that day she found out he cheated on her and when I saw him he was missing his teeth.

Stinks of Mediocrity 1,200 9
07/21/2004 05:31 AM

I've tried to tell her that women aren't really people, and therefore have no grasp of logic, but she always gets pissed?!?



Why, just the other day she got all mad when I laughed at her after she told me about some magic button called the "clitoris" or something silly.....image that! Her thinking women can have orgasms!

SuperDuper 280 10
07/21/2004 05:54 AM

Move the TV so its right against their wall.Pop in a male gay porno and crank up the volume.Nothing can ruin the moment more than listening to two guys moan and talk dirty to each other as they buttFrost....so I hear.It could backfire though if they are turned on by it and invite you over for tea the next day.

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/21/2004 10:48 AM

I actually have a few friends who are into the whole eyeball-licking thing. Apparently, it's called octolinctus, and getting an infection from it is considered a plus.



... Am I missing something? How is that GOOD?

Pegleg Chickens- Arrrrrr 286,472 61
07/21/2004 10:57 AM

1. record said goings on

2. share with your internet friends just as a giggle

3. turn speakers back towards wall

4. play thier sounds back at them when they start up.

5. mix in the sounds of monkeys screaming

6. hang banner from their balcony with website where your neighbors can go and hear the monkeys going at it

7. carry a gun

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/21/2004 11:02 AM

I love when Daggy treats me like a skank.

SHP: it's all about me 181,718 70
07/21/2004 01:33 PM

Nothing can ruin the moment more than listening to two guys moan and talk dirty to each other



So.not.true.

Spicey McHaggis loves TTJ American Style 117,752 36
07/21/2004 01:56 PM

For Lord Dyran

Sacapuntas 432 8
07/21/2004 04:19 PM

My former neighbor that lived below me confronted me about the noise level coming from my bedroom. She offered to buy me pillows to stick behind my head board. I told her that I don't have a head board, but perhaps my husband could put the pillow over my face while he pounds me. I told her that if she wasn't such an uptight bitch that she might get some every now and then, so she wouldn't have to worry about sounds coming from my apartment (I'm a screamer).





It disturbs me that I never hear anyone else having sex. I'm glad your old neighbors are bumping uglies.

Read Cosmo for tips on the female orgasm (and you probably need the manicure tips too).

Proud Elitist 2,629 9
07/21/2004 06:13 PM

Tape record all the Shakespeare that they scream, when they leave they're place to run errands like going to the supermarket, follow right behind them, playing the tape in public the whole time

Teh Porn Producer: uninspired and illiterate 7,627 9
07/21/2004 06:44 PM

Just try to film it. You can sell anything on the net these days.

Stinks of Mediocrity 1,200 9
07/21/2004 10:54 PM

*Update* Saw Bob and Linda (the "pronstrats") in the hallway today. After some pointless banter, Bill asked me how it was going. I told him fine, except for I keep hearing strange "banging" in the walls sometimes at night.



Linda's reply: "It might be mice"



To which I responded: "Maybe...but I've never heard a mouse yell 'bitch' before."



Nervous smiles all around. Beautiful.



I don't know if that will quiet them down at all, and if it doesn't, I'm considering using some of your suggestions. Thanks.

GoBanana 590 10
07/22/2004 06:07 AM

Kill them and replace them with more attractive neighbours.

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
07/22/2004 09:19 AM

Damn, Spicey; not just eyeball-licking, but homosexual eyeball-licking. What the HELL were you looking for that found you that pic?

ringworm 68,315 13
07/22/2004 11:09 AM

ummmmmmm... <shifty eyes>

newwave 45,912 10
07/22/2004 11:15 AM

Wait, Bob, Linda, and Bill? So it's a crone threesome?

Stinks of Mediocrity 1,200 9
07/22/2004 11:07 PM

Nope, Bob and Bill are one in the same. I can just never remember which it is. So I call him Jose.

Scratchy 2,750 12
07/22/2004 11:26 PM

Everyone knows that a rank fart kills sex. Therefore, here is what I would do:



1. The walls are thin, drill a small hole through down near the baseboard.



2. Obtain the following - joke stink bomb, a length of tubing, a plastic bag (thick, like ziplock freezer bags), tape, a pair of pliers.



3. Construct "stink sprayer". Put the stink bomb in the plastic bag. tape the bag to seal it around one end of the tube.



4. Deploy stink. Blow a bit of air into the bag, and jam the tube through the hole you made earlier. Use the pliers to crack the stink bomb. Give it a moment to marinade, maybe shake it a bit... then squeeze the bag until there is no air left in it to end maddening humping noises.



5. <obligatory> Profit </obligatory>

Scratchy 2,750 12
07/22/2004 11:29 PM

Jose and Linda's apartment will stink of something a bit stronger than mediocrity.