Phla Mignon 131,068 34
07/23/2004 05:41 PM

First to crash!

Pegleg Chickens- Arrrrrr 286,472 61
07/23/2004 05:42 PM

<action> passes dead away

Aimless 54,807 10
07/23/2004 05:42 PM

Can I PLEASE have my book back???

Jay Stevens 1,010 16
07/23/2004 05:43 PM

SCT = "Slow Codeslave Technology"

The mysterious Snork 45,655 12
07/23/2004 05:44 PM

<action> brick falls from ass, as a legion of frozen devils fly on the back of pigs to the closest ice-skating rink</action>

Pegleg Chickens- Arrrrrr 286,472 61
07/23/2004 05:45 PM

HOLY Shakespeare IT WORKS!!!

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
07/23/2004 05:46 PM

<action>faints...</action>Jay do exist!

Pegleg Chickens- Arrrrrr 286,472 61
07/23/2004 05:46 PM

the curse I put on Snork of course.







Oh, and the search too.

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
07/23/2004 05:47 PM

<action> expects all kinds of long-lost threads to pop up with only 2-5 recognizable names all designed to make regs feel like n00bs and n00bs feel n00bier.</action>

The mysterious Snork 45,655 12
07/23/2004 05:48 PM

What? Why do you curse me?

Aimless 54,807 10
07/23/2004 05:48 PM

GOD DAMN IT JAY EITHER YOU ANSWER ME OR IN 5 MINUTES I'M GONNA...gonna, uh...



I'M GONNA DO SOMEHTING YOU WONT LIKE! yeah.

dinesh 24,862 16
07/23/2004 05:50 PM

nice to see you jay.



excellent if the search actually works!



boo for the low codeslave blow.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
07/23/2004 05:50 PM

Don't you mean SMWT?



New search is great, Jay. You must have the most awesomest beta testers in the UNIVERSE!

Spicey McHaggis loves TTJ American Style 117,752 36
07/23/2004 05:53 PM

Thanks, Jay! You may come to GAB Houston, now.

qLoP, Wizard of Oz monkey + Herpes 730 9
07/23/2004 05:54 PM

The search engine page guarantees to find any thread with the words. However I had sub-par results, I searched for the search page.

Gavvo 1,789 12
07/23/2004 05:55 PM

<action>looks to sky</action>

I believe the next sign is a plague of locusts.

Aimless 54,807 10
07/23/2004 05:56 PM

<action> Looks at clock





Tick. Tick. Tick.

Fratberry 282,833 53
07/23/2004 05:56 PM

Holy Shakespeare! I found three bic lighters and a friend from the 4th grade!



Thanks Jay!

TTJane-Spicey is my Tarzan 173,958 15
07/23/2004 05:58 PM

Do I complain now about a problem I have with it, or do I let him feel good about himself for a little while first?

Pegleg Chickens- Arrrrrr 286,472 61
07/23/2004 05:59 PM

Ahem.....Jay deserves a full pee tube up there.





And his ass kicked for taking so long.

Kellogg's Porn Flakes 3,943 11
07/23/2004 06:00 PM

Jay, this almost makes up for the daily internal server errors.



Almost.

The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
07/23/2004 06:01 PM

Jay,



The new search works awesome. Good work.









Nobody better mess with Ace Programmer Jay Stevens

Jay Stevens 1,010 16
07/23/2004 06:03 PM

Aimless: I have no idea where it is.



Fratberry: I know... I'm WATCHING



Chickens: Thanks and I know it took forever, its been "almost" done for 6 months.



dinesh: You wouldn't 'boo' if you'd seen it.

Jay Stevens 1,010 16
07/23/2004 06:07 PM

Old search is still accessible from the side bar, I'll change that later this weekend.



Suggestions are welcome here.



Server Errors are being worked on.

Trae: Uvula Girl 156,785 17
07/23/2004 06:11 PM

Feh!



This is old news.



*files nails*

TTJane-Spicey is my Tarzan 173,958 15
07/23/2004 06:12 PM

Jay, very nice. This is a big improvement and will help us all very much.

dinesh 24,862 16
07/23/2004 06:19 PM

dinesh: You wouldn't 'boo' if you'd seen it.



jay: i guess we'll never know, but i think you're 100% incorrect. making fun of people who helped you build the site in the first place? low blow. cheap shot.



it's one thing when the masses around here think flaming each other and any newcomer is the epitome of good fun and comedy, but when the guys who run the site act like spoiled brats, i guess i can see where they get it from.



again i say: boo.

Aimless 54,807 10
07/23/2004 06:25 PM

Did you ever use search Dinish?

Trae: Uvula Girl 156,785 17
07/23/2004 06:30 PM

Dinesh, I love you truely.... but get laid, smoke a bowl, pick up your sense of humor from the dry cleaners and then post again mmmmmmk?

dinesh 24,862 16
07/23/2004 06:33 PM

err, what? yes, of course. it sucked.



in fact, i tried to use it earlier today to look up "legalese" to find the post where i shamelessly tried to hit on you. it didn't work.



this was my test case for the new search, which worked like a charm (though it was not the first result returned).



none of which excuses bashing some other guy who helped code the site years ago. at least not to me. feel free to disagree though, since i'm obviously in the minority on this one. please, carry on, there's probably a noob around here who hasn't been told to STFU yet.

dinesh 24,862 16
07/23/2004 06:37 PM

trae, appreciate the concern, but no thanks, i'll keep my own counsel on this one. don't act like you yourself haven't felt gab sucking for months now. if the level of discourse here gets any lower, we'll be grunting at each other.



let me try to shame some sense back into people the only way i know how - with condescension.

The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
07/23/2004 06:38 PM

Geeze, Dinesh. Take a pill.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
07/23/2004 06:40 PM

Rumor has it that you went to Princeton. Care to elaborate? I go to community college, which is like Princeton only with stoners and auto mechanics.

firelizard SFC 1,191 12
07/23/2004 06:41 PM

well I managed to find some old topics I started way back in Jan 2001. Reading them was weird, I was weird and .... ill.

Humpy 12 8
07/23/2004 06:42 PM

I searched for sausages.

The mysterious Snork 45,655 12
07/23/2004 07:01 PM

It's not that great: "Pure awesome" does not return my name.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
07/23/2004 07:06 PM

Reading old threads is like reading a HoB thread without the replies. Same people, different icons.

lawnturds: hope that they're dry 73 8
07/23/2004 07:07 PM

i searched for the stick hidden up dinesh's ass





i am such a n00b

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
07/23/2004 07:08 PM

dinesh is awesome. To make fun of dinesh is a bannable offense in my eyes. In real life, he is a lot less ethnic than you would think. I bet he pulls down a lot of tail with his cocoa skin and shiny watch.

Mr. Mookie 17,582 13
07/23/2004 07:10 PM

I agree with Dinesh and am glad to see somebody sticking up for what they believe is right in spite of what others may say.

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
07/23/2004 07:13 PM

Pegleg Chickens-Arrr passes dead away



Coincidentally, I typed in "Chickens death"--

AND IT WORKED!!!!!



JAY RULEZ!

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
07/23/2004 07:14 PM

It's basically between Jay and Codeslave, as far as I'm concerned. Jay didn't like Codeslave's code, so he called him out on it. If this starts another HoB/GAB flame war, I'll be disappointed. However, if Codeslave still coded here, I'm sure he would have revamped his own code and made a comment about his own older version being slow. So anyway. I ate Mexican food today. Can you imagine? In Arizona!

ringworm 68,315 13
07/23/2004 07:15 PM

Searching for: ( "search sucks" )



We found 0 results in ZUG Features.

We found 22 results in ZUG Conversations.





that's it? i think it's already broken.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
07/23/2004 07:15 PM

I ate Mexican food



They have their own food now? When will the craziness end!

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
07/23/2004 07:17 PM

Chi Chi, you always have the right things to say.

dinesh 24,862 16
07/23/2004 07:23 PM

In real life, he is a lot less ethnic than you would think.



haha, me ethnic, that is a riot. I'm about as whitebread as they come. I can't even do a good Apu.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
07/23/2004 07:24 PM

that's it? i think it's already broken.



<IF QUERY => 'search sucks'

THEN RETURN RESULTS='0'>



It's a conspiracy!

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
07/23/2004 07:29 PM

When I talked to you at the last GABfest, I really expected at least some type of accent, but you are one smooth talking money panda.

Trae: Please return me to my upright position 156,785 17
07/23/2004 08:14 PM

Oh hell Dinesh, I'm drunk all the time what the hell do I know?



Carry on, Princeton, carry on.

ringworm 68,315 13
07/23/2004 08:18 PM

i said mcdonald's, and my doctor said mylanta.

The mysterious Snork 45,655 12
07/23/2004 08:43 PM

I said Gablanta and my doctor said Prolixin

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
07/23/2004 09:54 PM

none of which excuses bashing some other guy who helped code the site years ago.



Yeah, I mean it's not like Codeslave ever bashed Jay or John.

dinesh 24,862 16
07/23/2004 10:02 PM

you're right, that DOES make it all better.



for the record, i called him out on it too.

The mysterious Snork 45,655 12
07/23/2004 10:04 PM

<action> is a silly noob</action>

OK, one question: where does Jeff fit into all of this?

Hollis the Butt Munch! 7,284 14
07/23/2004 10:40 PM

I love you, Jay.

Chit From Shine-ola 178,762 15
07/23/2004 10:46 PM

Tres Bien Jay !!



Unfortunately I find myself lately, wishing there was an "Ignore" function.



(Or a switch topic to "Pie Talk" button anyway)

Emenius - NO IS FIRE! 1,433 10
07/23/2004 11:23 PM

I can't even do a good Apu.



Man, I had a good apu earlier today. Felt 10 pounds lighter and 10 years younger.

Bonky 75,728 15
07/23/2004 11:45 PM

I'm with dinesh, as well. Jay could have just said he's recoded the search and made some upgrades and been a 'hero' to the masses and noobs.



I know, I'm going to tell Elvis to shut the Frost up! GO ME!

Fratberry 282,833 53
07/24/2004 12:01 PM

Heh. The old search couldn't find the thread about the new search.



Wonder if its just bitter.

The mysterious Snork 45,655 12
07/24/2004 12:05 PM

How come Jay doesn't have his own icon?

Chit From Shine-ola 178,762 15
07/24/2004 12:14 PM

He took the paycheck option instead !

The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
07/24/2004 12:42 PM

I think you two are making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Declan McManus, Irritated American. 131,874 36
07/28/2004 12:24 PM

Zanzibar Monkey Penis.





(I want to be able to pull this up from old search).

Ms. Trixxie (Rotten Eggsssssssss Farts) LeMay 65,021 15
07/28/2004 12:59 PM

Haven't tried it yet, and Yet I somehow know that it will still suck. why is that?

Chocolate Smeared Stoat - mmm, a tasty treat 9,077 10
07/28/2004 01:03 PM

Dude, I write Zanzibar Monkey Penis in my posts all the time...

Freshly Microwaved FDIC 816 9
07/28/2004 01:07 PM

I searched "earwax" and came up with a plethora of results.



I never knew there were "vomit", "earwax", "dirt", "grass", and "snot" flavored jellybeans.

Declan McManus, Irritated American. 131,874 36
07/28/2004 01:29 PM

FDIC--they are Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans! And when they say "Every Flavour," they mean just that!

Freshly Microwaved FDIC 816 9
07/28/2004 02:23 PM

Please don't tell me they have a "poo" and "pee" flavor.

Del Taco? 52 8
07/28/2004 02:32 PM

I think they have a white... mystery flavor.

Jantastic 10,022 10
07/28/2004 02:46 PM

A vomit-flavored jelly bean is the single most disgusting substance I have ever had in my mouth. And let me tell you, I have sucked a lot of Coleridge.

Crushing Black Oblivion 1,294 8
07/28/2004 02:59 PM

The taste of your own gag-reflex doesn't count.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
07/28/2004 03:23 PM

Brian? Is that you, Brian?

OneEyedTrouserTrout 6,046 8
09/06/2005 05:04 AM

select T.thread_id, name, date_created, date_modified, subj, msg_count, sum(S.score) as scr from (select thread_id, sum(match(subj) against ('oneeyedtrousertrout')) * 0.1 * msg_count as score from gab_thread where (match(subj) against ('oneeyedtrousertrout' IN BOOLEAN MODE)) group by thread_id having score > 0.2 union select thread_id, sum(match(text) against('oneeyedtrousertrout') ) as score from gab_msg where (match(text) againstIN BOOLEAN MODE) ) group by thread_id having score > 0.2 ) as S, gab_thread as T where T.thread_id=S.thread_id group by T.thread_id, name, date_created, date_modified, subj, msg_count order by scr desc



WTF?

Jax In The Tesseract 8 12
06/02/2010 07:10 AM

<action>Blinks. Pinches Self.</action>

Ouch!