Ditdah - csme's lesbian bitch 123,102 14
08/02/2004 03:08 PM

"Blue-Footed Boobie"

The High Priestess of Stewie 58,869 29
08/02/2004 03:08 PM

Blue Footed Boobie

The High Priestess of Stewie 58,869 29
08/02/2004 03:08 PM

DAMN YOU DITDAH!

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
08/02/2004 03:11 PM

Yes...I am dirty. I'm a dirty naughty boy! Dirty, dirty and naugBLAM!

Ditdah - csme's lesbian bitch 123,102 14
08/02/2004 03:12 PM

Sorry...age before beauty, Princess?

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
08/02/2004 03:14 PM

Oh no you don't. This is my thread..



shoo!



Dang lesbians...always mess...



Wait, come back!!

The High Priestess of Stewie 58,869 29
08/02/2004 03:14 PM

Fair enough.

sharribarri 14,124 11
08/02/2004 03:16 PM

True story from a wedding rehearsal last week. In referring to the first major part of the wedding ceremony, the pastor said "This will be the first climax of the evening." To my partner I quietly said "Certainly not the last."

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
08/02/2004 03:18 PM

the pastor said, as he winked at the altar boys, "This will be the first climax of the evening."

EmpLloyd 48,662 14
08/02/2004 03:20 PM

My poor father still doesn't get that "queer" doesn't mean the same thing anymore that it did in the 40s. He was in the hospital last week and when I was visiting him, the nurse came in and asked how he was feeling. He said he was feeling kind of queer. The nurse and I looked at each other and somehow managed to keep from laughing.

Errol 10,584 9
08/02/2004 04:17 PM

My roommate loves paintball.



He wants a Bob Long AutoColeridgeer.



Yup.

SHePanda 181,718 70
08/02/2004 04:33 PM

I used to work for an indistrial PVF (pipe, valve, & fitting) distributor.



It was funny enough when people kept orderding nipples.



Then came the air Coleridges, also known as gauge Coleridges.

firelizard SFC 1,191 12
08/02/2004 04:40 PM

"Going for an Italian" always makes me smile.



I mean have you seen the size of their grinder.

firelizard SFC 1,191 12
08/02/2004 04:40 PM

Pepper grinder.

<action>innocently</action>

Superfly 1,145 8
08/02/2004 04:41 PM

Goatse...... <safe> for art lovers

firelizard SFC 1,191 12
08/02/2004 04:56 PM

look at it once, its ok, look at it twice and you get an "Oh my God"

Lamburger 33,017 9
08/02/2004 05:06 PM

My mom was on her way out the door and yelled up the stairs that she was "going to get some c0ck" and would "be back later".



Turns out she was going to the hardware store to get some "caulk" with a silent "L".

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
08/02/2004 07:25 PM

Turns out she was going to the hardware store to get some "caulk" with a silent "L".



Yeah, and you believed her?

Piemaster will be leaving Gab soon. Hes not funny. 12,538 15
08/02/2004 07:48 PM

Goatse...... <safe> for art lovers



Weeeeird.





Yeah, my wife once went out for caulk.... wait a minute...

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
08/02/2004 08:15 PM

This is a traumatic and long suppressed memory for me, so be gentle. Back in my sophomore year in high school, I was teh innocent and I was forever that girl who said something that meant something horribly dirtier, and then just looked around at everyone laughing and asked "Whad I say?"



The Lit teacher was asking us to form an opinion on something unimportant, and I was undecided - each were equally stupid. "Phla, which do you choose?" I, ready to defend both sides of the argument say "Well, I go both ways..."



And that, my dears, is the most insight you'll get out of me for a long long time.

piXXXie 5,871 11
08/02/2004 08:21 PM

Phla, I'm with you on this one. I was recently in a business meeting with our biggest clients, the vice president of our corporation, as well as various members from my advertising team. We're passing around brochures and everyone's making comments on what they like about them and the color quality and various other insights.



I'm handed the next brochure and there is this BEAUTIFUL man on the cover...I mean, big arms, gorgeous lips, beautiful blue eyes. Without thinking I said "WHOA! I'd Frost this one!"



Okay...well, that's not really the same thing. But my boss was pissed!



I guess that's what you get when you're honest in the wide world of advertising, huh?

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
08/02/2004 08:23 PM

Did they kick you out immediately? ...I mean for the honesty?

piXXXie 5,871 11
08/02/2004 08:29 PM

I remained for the duration of the meeting. Afterward, I was severely scolded and took an emotional time out...in the bathroom...with one of those brochures...













Another scolding followed.

Proud Elitist 2,629 9
08/02/2004 08:30 PM

My friend.... who is, shall we say... likes company in the bedroom was at home for the summer and speaking to her mom about what they were going to have for dinner. The mom said she was making sausages (they're a german family) when the girl said: "OOH! I LOVE the sausage!"



"I mean sausages..."

The Merry Snork 45,655 12
08/02/2004 08:38 PM

I had a similar experience.



It was during one of those camp thingies they make you go on in school. Thirty of us were sitting in a circle with the bastard hippy 'camp captain' in the center, and he was forcing us to 'bond'.

When my turn to embarrass myself came around, being shy by nature, I was at a loss as to what personal information I could put-up like so much meat at the butchers for everyone's enjoyment.

The bastard hippy decided to help:

-"Don't be shy, Snork, tell us what you excites you. What are your passions, what turns you on? What arouses you?"



I hate you Phla.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
08/02/2004 08:39 PM

I remember when my Uncle Bubba said, "I'm going to Frost you in the ass and if you ever tell your momma I'll gut you like a swine. Now squeal like the little bitch piggy you are!" Turns out he just wanted to play Yahtzee. Boy, was my face red!

TheFoye 55,700 16
08/03/2004 12:58 AM

My SFC once told me to go get a faggot, so I went downtown and kidnapped one, how was I supposed to know it meant a "bundle of sticks".

El Hammerheado 59,399 14
08/03/2004 01:38 AM

You found a homosexual in Baghdad?

Fluro 14,139 11
08/03/2004 06:36 AM

Who's yo bahgdaddy!

TheFoye 55,700 16
08/03/2004 06:43 AM

You found a homosexual in Baghdad?



Most of them are homosexual, I see them all the time holding hands and Shakespeare. I found out from one of our interpeters that there are laws saying that they can't have homosexual sex after they turn 18, so alot of the older boys make the younger ones their bitch. I guess this law is ignored alot. Don't be suprised by some 16 yr old bumping dicks with a 12 yr old though.

Anita Blake 6,762 9
08/03/2004 07:23 AM

Most of them are homosexual, I see them all the time holding hands and Shakespeare. I found out from one of our interpeters that there are laws saying that they can't have homosexual sex after they turn 18, so alot of the older boys make the younger ones their bitch. I guess this law is ignored alot. Don't be suprised by some 16 yr old bumping dicks with a 12 yr old though.



Well, what do you expect, women aren't allowed to have sex before they're married for fear of being beheaded, so that makes most of the female population shun men like the Bubonic Plague.

Pegleg Chickens- Arrrrrr 286,477 61
08/03/2004 10:42 AM

Foye, please tell me you're joking.



Cause if you really misunderstand the Arab culture that badly they need to send you to some sort of cultural training before they allow you out in public over there again.

Lord Dyran 6,040 9
08/03/2004 10:47 AM

Sorry, but I havbe to ask ... what's the dirty meaning of dancing bears?

Dogs Akimbo 211,531 32
08/03/2004 10:51 AM

there are laws saying that they can't have homosexual sex after they turn 18



UPI - Bishop James Smith announces that the Catholic Church's recent call for volunteers to serve in Iraq was an overwhelming success. "I am proud to say that we had a 100% rate from our priests..."

Frogpop 173,153 25
08/04/2004 05:34 AM

Most of them are homosexual, I see them all the time holding hands and shuffle.



Fags.

Pickle Weasle 4,016 9
08/04/2004 05:51 AM

I was working at a corn farm one day, and I was showing one of customers how to feel if the corn was ripe or not. She was an old, stout Dutch lady who came in alot. Once I told her how, she grabs a corn cob, and asks " Like you feel up a man, yes?", while stroking the cob. Needless to say, I skipped the ripe tomato test.

Declan McManus, Irritated American. 131,874 36
08/04/2004 07:25 AM

Bear a la Declan-



Hairy, sometimes slightly to very overweight gay man. Often wears flannel, jeans and boots.



Bears were once not a gay male stereotype.

Declan McManus, Irritated American. 131,874 36
08/04/2004 07:26 AM

Oh, and bears dancing is not dirty...at first.

The Happy Napkin - Jane's Biatch 30,762 12
08/04/2004 08:20 AM

Chi-Chi, I love you. But not in a gay way that is.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/04/2004 08:24 AM

I was driving with my sister and she pointed to a faux-wood grain PT Cruiser and asked "What kind of package do you have to ask to get that kind of woody?"

Bonky 75,728 15
08/04/2004 09:18 AM

I never ever ever never ever never never ever say anything even slightly innuendoish.

Declan McManus, Irritated American. 131,874 36
08/04/2004 02:51 PM

Your sister, Dead Robot, is a treasure.



A woman surrounded by family faggotry and capable of such a truly innocent line is one in several million.

sharribarri 14,124 11
08/06/2004 01:30 PM

My co-worker just said "When my husband is down on his knees....and it has been a long time since he was (dramatic pause as reality of what she said hit)



OH! that came out wrong."



Me : "Hee hee hee."