Trae Uvula 156,785 17
08/28/2004 11:14 PM

"Hello"



"Um, yeah, do you like chitlins?"



"No"



"Kunichiwa..."



"What???"



"Hola, tu Mama es la punta."



"Que?"



Problem solved.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
08/28/2004 11:21 PM

Call in the most monotone voice possible like it's a recording and pretend that you're collecting census data. Tell him to press 1 for Caucasian (Not Hispanic), 2 for Black/African American, 3 for Asian or Pacific Islander, 4 for Hispanic, 5 for American Indian, Eskimo, Aleut. When you hear a beep choose to either hang up or start laughing like a maniac then hang up.

El Hammerheado 59,399 14
08/28/2004 11:28 PM

Or, just call and say you're with a survey, and make up some questions, one which includes his race. Just make it short, like five or ten questions, not to take up their time. Make it about some kind of funny product or service, and you can even get an article about it!

Bonky 75,728 15
08/28/2004 11:34 PM

Ask him if he thinks Ashanti needs an apple.



Better yet, ask him if he needs an apple.

Bonky 75,728 15
08/28/2004 11:38 PM

Ask him if his milkshake tastes better than yours.

Fluro 14,139 11
08/28/2004 11:47 PM

Did he go into a branch? ask the person that met him.

otherwise, if it was over the phone, he's full of Shakespeare.

Happy Fun Ball 852 9
08/28/2004 11:55 PM

"Sir, after conversing with you for this length of time I have established this opinion. Your race, whatever it may, be is a problem to no one except yourself. Your credit history however, is a different story. I suggest that you either pay back all the money that you have used on credit to remedy the issue or shut the hell up. After perusing your report I feel safe in saying this because you obviously don't have enough to hire a retarded homeless person, let alone a lawyer, to sue me. Also, by the time I hang up the phone I'm reasonably sure that your telephone service will be cut off as well, good day to you mister raceless man."

El Hammerheado 59,399 14
08/29/2004 12:03 AM

Happy Fun Ball:



Now that you have come to the realization that your life was incomplete before you joined the ranks of the ZUG GABbers, we have a few things we'd like to say.



1) Please take the time to lurk, as you have had nothing to contribute but your mindless drivel.



2) Please take the time to read the Rules of ZUG, in order to acclimate yourself to our group.



3) Please read this, in order to answer any other questions you might have.



4) Please STFU and go set yourself on fire, like a good little no0b.

Happy Fun Ball 852 9
08/29/2004 05:20 PM

According to the "rules" which you attempt to use to insult me your in direct violation of #'s 2-5, 7, and 9. In any case, I'm not going to waste my time arguing with someone of your obvious intelligence. Tell you what, If your some sort of moderator, feel free to ban me. If not then leave me alone, when I want your opinions I'll give them to you.

Livewire 78,229 13
08/29/2004 05:24 PM

3) Please read this, in order to answer any other questions you might have.



Hammerhead, I think I see a pretty big loophole in those rules.

The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
08/29/2004 05:28 PM

Hammerhead's gettin' schooled by a n00b! hahaha!

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
08/29/2004 05:29 PM

HFB, read #10. Read it as often as you need to. Lurk. Absorb. Newbies get bashed as part of the culture here. It's not the end of the world as you know it. Grin and bear it or expect it to increase exponentially.



Your friendly neighbourhood somethingorother.

RR

MaddMatt _Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/29/2004 05:42 PM

Hfb,



Develop a thick skin, and yea, good burn!

Keep up the funny.

Livewire 78,229 13
08/29/2004 05:45 PM

Hammerhead also forgot to read the warning label which clearly states: Do not taunt happy fun ball.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/29/2004 05:46 PM

HAPPY FUN BALL DISHES IT BACK!!



Fox audience: OOOOOOOOhhhhh!!! You go girl!

the flying nun, professional pirate 1,412 10
08/29/2004 05:46 PM

Fun Ball wins. Case closed.

Jolson 16,163 11
08/29/2004 05:54 PM

You know what this site is missing? Peace, love and harmony.





Oh, eh, feck that. I'd rather see Happy Fun Ball and El Hammerheado in a cage match with chainsaws and hydrochloric acid riding man eating boars and wearing tu-tu's with pink lipstick. Yeah! That's what I wanna see!



Go to it gentlemen.

Jolson 16,163 11
08/29/2004 05:57 PM

Oh, and the following rules apply:



Asian people like noodles.



Black people like watermelon, fried chicken, and tackily painted cars.



Indians of the American kind love firewater.



Indians of the former British colony prefer dots on their heads and the running of convenience stores.



The Irish are all about bombs and beer.



Hispanics are lazy and love leaching off of their family.



White people can't dance and love mayo.



If I missed anybody my apologies.

Pistol luvs you with bullets 10,071 9
08/29/2004 05:57 PM

So, Jolson, you like man-on-man love too?

Jolson 16,163 11
08/29/2004 05:58 PM

If it's of the homoerotic sports ass slapping kind...









No.

Pistol luvs you with bullets 10,071 9
08/29/2004 05:59 PM

Actually, it wasn't a question . . . more of a rhetorical statement.

Jolson 16,163 11
08/29/2004 06:01 PM

Ah, good man. Carry on chum!

brody 43,090 12
08/29/2004 06:11 PM

You forgot the Irish.

MaddMatt _Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/29/2004 06:15 PM

You forgot the Irish



You are obviously Irish and bombed on beer, scroll up and read again.

El Hammerheado 59,399 14
08/29/2004 06:29 PM

Yes, I'm being schooled by a no0b who thinks that 1)that post was offensive, 2)that I'm violating commandment #5 which is not put personal information on here, 3)doesn't know the difference between your and you're, and 4)needs to lurk more if he thinks that THAT is the worst hazing on here.



*tosses HFB a bottle of lotion*



Here, put this on your skin.



Unless he got goatse'd, in which case, he might be upset that he clicked a link to a giant gaping Emerson. In which case, he might want to read this.

El Hammerheado 59,399 14
08/29/2004 06:33 PM

Oh, and MODERATORS? Where the Frost does he think he is? Prank.org?

Jolson 16,163 11
08/29/2004 07:10 PM

*tosses HFB a bottle of lotion*



Here, put this on your skin.



Oh, Oh!!!



Or it gets the hose again, right precious?





PUT THE Frost-ing LOTION IN THE BASKET!

































God, that never gets old.

Trae Uvula 156,785 17
08/29/2004 07:17 PM

So true, my love.

Dogs Akimbo 211,539 32
08/29/2004 07:20 PM

Well, something does.

Jolson 16,163 11
08/29/2004 07:24 PM

That would be talk of anal starfruit. I think you want this thread.



Move along, nothing to see here.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/29/2004 08:10 PM

HFB is the bomb. As you kids are saying these days. He funny. He stay.



Robot like Chunk.

El Hammerheado 59,399 14
08/29/2004 09:18 PM

To whomever maha'd that post telling HFB to put the lotion on his skin: Thanks, dick. Glad to know that you got your Poe hurt at that. It's also good to know that you read my post and had a reaction to it.

Happy Fun Ball 852 9
08/29/2004 10:11 PM

Terribly sorry, of course you are correct, I did make a few grammatical errors in my earlier retort.

Then again, I really wasn't paying a lot of attention, I tend to do that when I'm dealing with trivial things.

As for hazing, meh, I don't mind good natured fun, and after all, what's the use in getting mad at someone that's thousands of miles away that I'll never meet.

Besides, this is the only place that hammer gets to be the big tough guy, in real life I'm sure he's a decent person that gets treated poorly by others and is too scared to act tough for fear of getting his teeth knocked in.

Sorry hammer, I must have offended you in some way in one of the 11 posts I've made thus far, I know I've only been reading the site since March and a member for 2 months. I've just been going post crazy, I mean 11, damn, that's just CRAZY, I'll try to tone it down a little.

But in the meantime, please continue trying to "diss" me, as I find it amusing. Just don't get mad if I throw your words in your face again and make you look like a fool. After all, I've stepped in things more intimidating than you.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
08/29/2004 10:15 PM

Was it poop? It was poop wasn't it? The thing you stepped in - poop, right?

Jan, Her Admired Ass of the High Seas 10,022 10
08/29/2004 10:18 PM

You know what would be happy and fun? If both of you shut your pie-holes about it and just went on about your business.

Happy Fun Ball 852 9
08/29/2004 10:25 PM

LOL, your right Jan, sorry everyone, this is getting silly and pointless, I'll stop now.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/29/2004 10:28 PM

Fox Audience: Woooooo!!!!

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/29/2004 10:30 PM

No dont! Its been so long since we've had a noob that could place three words together coherently in a snappy comeback! Please..stay...



I'll make hot chocolate...

Hannibal with a Dunce Cap On 820 8
08/29/2004 10:30 PM

I'll be soo happy when that studio audience finally moves out.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
08/29/2004 10:48 PM

What the hell is going on in my thread?!

Llama's mostly llurking now 7,194 10
08/29/2004 10:56 PM

Not quite sure, but apparently I like noodles.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
08/29/2004 11:12 PM

Good. You should see what's cooking in my pants.

The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
08/29/2004 11:13 PM

when I want your opinions I'll give them to you.



I'm sorry, Hammerhead, you know I love you, but that's comedy gold.

SaltyDave 3,588 9
08/29/2004 11:16 PM

you forgot us Scots...we like to Frost sheep and play with out foreskins.....

El Hammerheado 59,399 14
08/30/2004 12:56 AM

I'll applaud him for having a snappy comeback. I'll even applaud him for being able to have a comeback at all.



But it seems like he's taking this personal. No, you've not done or said anything that's offended me in your whole 11 posts, dumbass. You're just a new play toy. You're a no0b with a target on your back. And you still need to lurk.



But what the Frost do I know? You've been posting for a month. You're a GAB god. But it still seems the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and became a brown stain on the mattress. Please, continue to post, but don't get pissed when a pineapple gets shoved up your GABvirgin ass.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
08/30/2004 01:32 AM

GRAMMAR MAKE CHI CHI MAD! ME NO LIKE! RAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Hannibal with a Dunce Cap On 820 8
08/30/2004 01:36 AM

Watch out he's gonna EXPLOOOOOODE!!!!

The Napkin of Glee 30,762 12
08/30/2004 01:40 AM

Nazis Love Cake.

LongDistance 281 8
08/30/2004 01:58 AM

Us Native Americans like to drink and have our land stolen from us. Oh and disease.

Happy Fun Ball 852 9
08/30/2004 02:55 AM

Hey Hammer, we've already hijacked this thread enough, at first I figured you to be nothing more than a jerk with a god complex because your on the net. Now that I know it's all standard procedure for noobs I'm happy to play along, let's start another thread for this and we'll have a nice trash talking throwdown. I'm calling you out, I may be a noob but your just a wannabe.

El Hammerheado 59,399 14
08/30/2004 03:13 AM

Hey, twinkletoes, I'm a wannabe? A wannabe what? You obviously haven't lurked enough to get the feel of the board. You obviously also need to stop taking any of this personally. I've been positively nice compared to my normal no0b bashing. I've hazed worse than you, and I've run off worse than you. You're just a bug on the windsheild.



STFU



And I'm not going to accept your "challenge" because it's a waste of my time, and I have better things to do, like getting laid by an actual woman. So piss off, wanker.

Happy Fun Ball 852 9
08/30/2004 03:21 AM

Heh, I thought as much. Just thought it would be funny to see if you could keep up. I'd back down if I were you too. Take care wannabe, the offer stands if you decide grow a pair.

Hannibal with a Dunce Cap On 820 8
08/30/2004 03:37 AM

<action>buys ringside tickets</action>

This is fixing up to be a nice brawl...

Jolson 16,163 11
08/30/2004 08:39 AM

*touches himself with anticipation*

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/30/2004 08:52 AM

Happy Fun Ball : lots of clickies



Hammerhead : not a lot

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/30/2004 08:58 AM

in Mad Max drag



Two 'Tards enter!

One 'Tard wanders around looking for the exit!

Two 'Tards enter!

One 'Tard wanders around looking for the exit!

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
08/30/2004 01:15 PM

If you people are going to turn my threads into n00b-bashing/counter-n00b-bashing threads, the least you can do is go click my hilarious New n00b Guide.

Happy Fun Ball 852 9
08/31/2004 12:55 AM

Ok guys, I'm done, for real this time. I didn't come here to fight with anyone. I enjoyed all of your articles and thought it would be nice to meet the people behind them. Sorry for ruining your thread Admiral, I gave you lots of clickies for the trouble. And Dead Robot, I believe that "Walk away, you don't have to die, just.... walk away." would have worked from Mad Max as well, but yours made me laugh really hard, mass clickies for everyone that put up with this unfortunate business.

HisBoyElroy 10,621 13
08/31/2004 01:20 AM

you are neat.

Trae: The Decider! 156,785 17
05/10/2006 09:09 AM

Bump cause Millie said so and she's the bossame.

humans_disgust_me 160 8
05/10/2006 11:14 AM

I'm a new GABber. I don't feel very welcome. Is this a free exchange of funny crap or another one of those bizarro world clique's where the geeks rule and punish me for banging there sweethearts in the real?

humans_disgust_me 160 8
05/10/2006 11:15 AM

their not there damn. credibilty=0

I hate myself.

Taco: the Lord of the Crunch 61,976 36
05/10/2006 11:21 AM

Plus you're not a clever and innovative n00b than can sneak in potshots on the regulars. You just suck.

humans_disgust_me 160 8
05/10/2006 12:08 PM

I am clever enough to rule this bizarro world, but I shall watch and wait. I refuse to suffer insults from a taco eater. Well ok just this once.

humans_disgust_me 160 8
05/10/2006 12:09 PM

"I could crush your head like a nut, but I won't; because I need you"



Strange Brew

humans_disgust_me 160 8
05/10/2006 12:10 PM

So who's in the cool clique anyway? I shall have your women.

Millie 116,984 28
05/10/2006 01:37 PM

The cool clique is all women. And we're all gay.



So, you ain't having anyone.

I'll take a Molotov cocktail, please... 30,601 8
05/10/2006 02:16 PM

I just woke up from a nap, what the hell is going on?



Wait, I'm gay?



Ooh, cool clique. Nevermind. Sigh.

Taco: the Lord of the Crunch 61,976 36
05/10/2006 02:28 PM

I refuse to suffer insults from a taco eater



I hate tacos.

humans_disgust_me 160 8
05/10/2006 03:53 PM

I am not allowed to play any of your reindeer games. So sad. I like funny jokes. I am not welcome. huhhhhh.

gobadine 2,737 10
05/10/2006 06:18 PM

You're a no0b with a target on your back. And you still need to lurk.



sounds creepy! Kinda like stalking!

gobadine 2,737 10
05/10/2006 06:32 PM

Anyway Bob, what were you saying about your racial problem before being rudely interrupted.