Chickens' Singing Starfish 286,480 61
08/30/2004 11:16 PM

Hah! You got cruised by a crazy old queen.

Lamburger 33,017 9
08/30/2004 11:19 PM

He must be working on a urinal cake.

The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
08/31/2004 12:05 AM

Your first mistake was disregarding mens rules of toilets. When you walk into a toilet, you go to one of the urinals on the end. NEVER use the middle one. If the urinals on the ends are being used, go to a stall. If there are no stalls, piss in the sink.

The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
08/31/2004 12:06 AM

I thought his toilet said "Look a singing starfish!"

Hannibal with an A's Cap On 820 8
08/31/2004 12:09 AM

seriously, yeah, always use the one on the end so you can keep the one-urinal buffer. It is required unless you are at a ballpark or a movie theater.

Pistol luvs you with bullets 10,071 9
08/31/2004 12:52 AM

Hey, sorry man. I was just trying to make conversation.

HisBoyElroy 10,621 13
08/31/2004 12:59 AM

troughs Frost-ing rock. you could shoot the Shakespeare straight up and still not miss.

Gabe 9,232 13
08/31/2004 01:03 AM

Your first problem is that you never, ever take the middle of three urinals. If you've got several to choose from, you always start with an end. If you shoot for the middle of three, the next guy in has no choice but to piss next to you.

HighSoci 30,076 18
08/31/2004 01:04 AM

Actually I will intentionally use the middle one in a busy place (i.e. club) just to watch all the self conscious guys stand at the doorway trying to keep from pissing themselves and muttering under their breathe instead of just using the ones beside me.

All Your Briham are Belong to Us 38,843 10
08/31/2004 02:13 AM

Study this guide carefully

Happy Fun Ball 852 9
08/31/2004 02:40 AM

Reminds me of places I've had the misfortune of working at. I put a large sign over the urinals reading "PLEASE DO NOT EAT THE LARGE MINT", I suggest you do the same..... ahhhh Roadhouse.... the classics never die..

El Hammerheado 59,399 14
08/31/2004 03:00 AM

One place where I worked, a buddy of mine put a sign above the urinal stating:



"Please do not place toothpicks in the urinals, the crabs have learned to pole vault."

Daggy 86,705 14
08/31/2004 03:15 AM

You go, you stand there, you stare at the wall or your junk, jiggle it twice (so that you're not playing with it), then zip up and depart from the lavatory.















WASH YOUR HANDS YOU DIRTY FILTHPOT!

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
08/31/2004 03:27 AM

I don't know about you, but I don't piss on my hands.

Vlad The Impaler 19,599 12
08/31/2004 10:52 AM

Vlad does. It makes them warm. And moist. And the best things in life are warm. And moist.









Like fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies! :)

Chris Garrett (Craven Somehead) 86,932 12
08/31/2004 11:00 AM

Why is it people have no problem putting their bare ass on a public toilet seat, but will then have to flush said toilet with a shoe-covered foot?

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
08/31/2004 11:01 AM

Note to self: If Vlad ever offers you a chocolate-chip cookie say, "No thank you!"

McStupid of Borg 13,155 9
08/31/2004 11:03 AM

Vlad does. It makes them warm. And moist. And the best things in life are warm. And moist.



All of a sudden I have the urge to shove my dick in an apple pie.

Munkus 2,801 10
08/31/2004 11:05 AM

A friend of mine was in the toilets at a local pub a few months ago. There are 4 urinals and he was on number 1 whilst another guy was peeing in number 4. This poses a huge problem to anyone else that enters, no matter which one they go to they will be standing next to somebody.



Luckily the next guy to enter was pretty wasted and simply stood in the middle of urinals 2 and 3 and pissed on the wall.



That's called thinking outside box.

McStupid of Borg 13,155 9
08/31/2004 11:10 AM

Munkus, you look like a young version of the singer from Coal Chamber.

Munkus 2,801 10
08/31/2004 11:14 AM

erm.....thankyou?

Vlad The Impaler 19,599 12
08/31/2004 12:22 PM

Actually that's called thinking inside the bottle.

SaltyDave 3,588 9
08/31/2004 04:02 PM

thinking outside the Coleridges....

Grand PooPoo 545 8
08/31/2004 05:42 PM

Your first mistake was disregarding mens rules of toilets. When you walk into a toilet, you go to one of the urinals on the end. NEVER use the middle one. If the urinals on the ends are being used, go to a stall. If there are no stalls, piss in the sink.



I normally would've anywhere else (unless I was trying to be an ass and make someone else use the sink), but the last urinal has a crack in the side and tends to piss back on you if you use it... Which I guess is only fair if it has to be put up with getting pissed on, I suppose it should have some measure of revenge once and a while...

Chit From Shine-ola 178,762 15
08/31/2004 06:01 PM

I had a buddy choose to wizz all over some lady's Flower Garden once, instead of the wall like the rest of us. He was soaking her Easter Lilly's when he realized it was banking on the inside of the flowers, and spiraling down and out once again, some of which was landing on his pants and shoes....





Natures built in anti-piss defense mechanism I reckon !

the STUDent 17 8
08/31/2004 06:05 PM

"when you go to the bathroom, write your height n weight on the wall so that if you fall in we know how much to scoop out..."(Bill Shakespeare)