The Happy Napkin 30,762 12
09/09/2004 07:13 AM

Me: First of all, we don't even know if this is a virus, secondly, although formatting my computer might help with a virus, I don't want to format everything I put on that computer.



Jerry: Well sir, thats all I can tell you to do.



Me: (After it finally loads) Oh! Nevermind! It's working again!



Jerry: Well, just as a safety percaution, lets Format your Hard Drive just in case.



Me: Jerry...Why would I format my Hard Drive? If It's a virus I'll run Norton Antivirus.



Jerry: Oh! That's the problem Sir! You had Norton Antivirus installed! You know that every virus it finds, it makes a copy of and quarantines it, and sometimes the viruses break out!



Me: What the Frost are you talking about? Did you just make that up on the spot or something?



Jerry: Sire, there is no reason for foul language, you know this conversation is recorded right?



Me: Sure, but that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!



Jerry: Well Sir, I advise that you Format your Hard Drive and Reinstall Windows.



Me: You know what Jerry, I think that I'll just leave my computer as it is.



Jerry: Well thank you for your call Sir and have a nice day.



Me: Mmmhmm, you too Retard.



Turns out that my friend got a program from some website that reboots your computer 20 times. Jerry is a Frosttard and I want that program.

The Happy Napkin 30,762 12
09/09/2004 07:15 AM

Someday, I think that I will have the tech lookup a picture of Goatse or Tubgirl. I think that the program was from RLSoftware of soemthing like that. I forgot the name of the site.

The Happy Napkin 30,762 12
09/09/2004 07:18 AM

I invented a new word! "Visuting"!

The Rat 2,085 9
09/09/2004 07:42 AM

Intel also launched a 1.9 GHz version priced at $375



Then this must be a hoax













dumbass

Jajoba 1,357 10
09/09/2004 08:03 AM

I invented a new word! "Visuting"!



Hmmm, s'okay. I still prefer 'leagally' though.

Lorenzo Duke 3,183 11
09/09/2004 08:15 AM

Jerry: Sire, there is no reason for foul language, you know this conversation is recorded right?



Apparently medieval language is a fitting alternative, my liege.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
09/09/2004 08:18 AM

Turns out that my friend got a program from some website that reboots your computer 20 times.



Can you say virus



I say reformat your manners.

The Spelunking Snork 45,655 12
09/09/2004 08:55 AM

/geek mode activate!



I hope you didn't pay too much for such and old CPU.

Jolson 16,163 11
09/09/2004 09:04 AM

Dead Robot, I think it's time that we de-gaussed your own internal storage medium.



Nurse! Pass me the cranial buzzsaw.



Now, this might hurt just a wee bit...

The Happy Napkin 30,762 12
09/09/2004 10:30 AM

Look first of all, they DO make P4s in 1.9 GHz. It isn't a new up to date computer, it's just a NEW computer. Yes, every spelling mistake was on purpose to give a sense of "Midievalness" or whatever else you felt. Good morning, and I'm off to work!

The Happy Napkin 30,762 12
09/09/2004 10:32 AM

And I suppose in my term of the word, a virus is something used to hard, in this cse he was just meessing with me.

The Spelunking Snork 45,655 12
09/09/2004 10:49 AM

I still hope for your sake you weren't hoodwinked into buying it for more than it's worth.

The Happy Napkin 30,762 12
09/09/2004 11:28 AM

Heck no! I payed the normal fifteen hundred bucks. Thats what you people pay still right?

The Spelunking Snork 45,655 12
09/09/2004 11:37 AM

Geek mode jams my sarcasm detector.

Vanilla Dew 891 10
09/09/2004 12:06 PM

a virus is something used to hard



Wait a minute... porn is a virus?

The Happy Napkin 30,762 12
09/09/2004 08:00 PM

I really need to read what I write.

Piemaster 12,538 15
09/09/2004 08:22 PM

Virus - any program that reproduces.



Worm - And program that causes an undesired effect.



You have a worm.

Happy Fun Ball 852 9
09/09/2004 10:04 PM

Virus, n. A program which causes a computer to perform undesired actions.....



IE: Windows XP=VIRUS

The Happy Napkin 30,762 12
09/09/2004 10:17 PM

I HAVE NOTHING. IT'S A PRANK. DIE!!!

Slayer of Shoes 549 9
09/09/2004 10:26 PM

IE: Windows XP=VIRUS



Thats a good point about the xp being a virus. Not only do they report every action you do back to mircosoft so they can use it for "marketing" but recently my friends xp LOCKED ITSELF OUT OF THE REGISTRY. No virus, no worm, windows just LOCKED ITSELF OUT OF THE REGISTRY. Ill just let that soak in.

Happy Fun Ball 852 9
09/10/2004 03:48 PM

A dumbass program I had made by norton was deleting .dll files that were not used within the last week. It managed to delete the .dll file for the RECYCLE BIN. This would be the same as throwing your trash can into itself, POOF! You can't go into the can to get it out of itself, PARADOX!

Dead SHGb02+14a Robot 67,630 16
09/10/2004 05:08 PM

Cheryl Ladd, Kris Kristopherson and Scott Thompson just looked up from their sleeping careers.

Dead SHGb02+14a Robot 67,630 16
09/10/2004 06:33 PM

Come on people!



Millenium?!



sheesh.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
09/10/2004 07:10 PM

I set my firewall to block MSMessenger. The cronies at Microsoft have no idea how much porn I look at now. I'm diabolical.

Jolson 16,163 11
09/10/2004 07:59 PM

Eh, that's part of the reason I use OS X. I get tired of using XP at work.

Chit From Shine-ola 178,762 15
09/10/2004 09:57 PM

Windows XP has a setting (automatically Restart) that if checked, and durring the boot process windows encounters a fault somewhere, it will shut down the boot process in hopes of being able to reload the drivers and start up files on the next boot. The auto restart command causes it to restart within seconds of shutting down, and if the problem is not alleviated simply by windows, it will continue to boot over and over again.



You might want to check it out, I have seen two people who's machines encountered this problem.



Go: Control Panel, System, Advanced, Startup Recovery, and there you will find the auto restart option. Uncheck the box to prevent this boot loop.



Just in case your buddy made up that bullShakespeare about the prank program.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/10/2004 10:14 PM

The cronies at Microsoft



I read that as The crones at Microsoft. It made me giggle.

pseudonomen 133 8
09/11/2004 03:07 AM

Virus - any program that reproduces.



Worm - And program that causes an undesired effect.



You have a worm.



Actually, those definitions are wrong, but I wont go into detail in hopes of keeping what's left of my dignity.



However, I don't contradict your diagnosis that Happy Napkin has worms.

Wait, were we talking about computers?

The Happy Napkin 30,762 12
09/11/2004 04:05 AM

I don't have worms...I have crabs!

daisypie 49,378 9
09/11/2004 04:07 AM

T M I