In the dark year of 1997, When I was a mere lad of 15, I received as a gift a CD-ROM called "100 Amazing Kid's Games" Made by Expert Software. This was a CD rip-off. It had 112 games on it. It was designed for Windows 3.1 and Windows 95. It was a piece of Shakespeare. Roughly 45 games didn't work on my Win 95 and when I got my Windows 98, about 10 more stopped working. Out of all of these games, there were a few memorable ones. Balloonz, Clyde Castle, Dr. Riptide, and Galactic Battle. One of them though, stuck in my head as a favorite. It was called "Quenzars Caverns".
Now, Quenzars Caverns was a text adventure, but not a true text adventure. In fact, it was more of a cheap D&D. It was also made in Visual Basic. You would walk around rooms, kill evil things, get gold, scrolls of stupidity, rings of dexterity, and helmets of the Special Ed. The goal of the game was to get the Key to the Sanctum, the Dragon Sword and the Dragon Shield. With these weapons you would find the Sanctum, and enter and kill some guy who was really hard to kill. Now, the point of this entire article is to express how stupid beating this guy was. Once you had killed the evil guy, you got 999,999 gold, Impenetrable Armor, and The Black Sword of Everything Dies. With these tools of greatness, with which you can conquer anything... the game ends.
It was almost like being hit in the face with a large blunt object that someone had found lying outside. The first time I won, I was DEVASTATED. I though, "What? Why would they give me that? They can't be that cynical, can they"? So I played again and after two weeks, I had won. "Now" I though, "There must be another level!". Once again, I felt as though I had gotten hit in the face with a large blunt object. But this time, it was after playing the game again.
What kind of lesson was this creator trying to teach? Now, 7 years later, here I am with this CD, playing this game and wondering these questions again. I've got half a mind to call up this guy who made this game!
So, instead I fired him off an email:
Dear Mr. Peter Lok,
7 years ago, I received a CD entitled "100 Amazing Kids Games". There were some pretty memorable games there but one game in particular got my attention. Quenzars Caverns. I played that game more than I've played any game before.
The reason I contacted you was because of the end. After you had beat Quenzar, you received a lot of gold and the "Black Sword". I suppose that with this weapon, you could kill anything. So, equipped with the most powerful sword in the land, ready for anything... the game ends.
My question to you is this. What the hell was the point of that? Why not just say "You have beaten Quenzar. Good job dude." Receiving these items was like a slap in the face. That's like giving a guy a million bucks, then shooting him in the face.
Well, I hope that you reply! I'm a big fan of the game!
-Jake Napkin.
Since I wrote this, about a month has gone by with no response. Thus, I have decided that Peter Lok is dead.
Oh well, serves him right to trick us youngsters.
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