The Spelunking Snork 45,655 12
09/30/2004 07:30 PM

I wonder, who'll be the first to start throwing Shakespeare?

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
09/30/2004 07:31 PM

I bet it'll be the monkeys.

piXXXie 5,871 11
09/30/2004 07:31 PM

Presindential





You're voting for Bush, aren't you?

monkeys that don't know when to SHUT THE HELL UP 443 8
09/30/2004 07:35 PM

monkeys don't debate, monkeys throw poo at each other. man could learn from monkeys.

Zackman 3,927 0
09/30/2004 07:39 PM

PiXXXie, sorry to disappoint you, but the way I see it neither one of these bozos(sorry Bozo) is Presidential in the least.



What a waste of such a dignifying word.



The should call it the Mudslinginential Debate.

The High Priestess of Peaches 58,875 29
09/30/2004 07:44 PM

Mmmmmm, riot police in Miami. Brings back memories of the good times.....

Piemaster 12,538 15
09/30/2004 07:45 PM

I'm not a Kerry fan. But, I also dont think that Bush deserves a re-election.



Male + 21 + Impending Draft = No good for the Master of Pies.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/30/2004 10:12 PM

President Bush just said "doodie."

millie 116,984 28
09/30/2004 10:13 PM

John Kerry has a very huge, rectangular head.

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
09/30/2004 10:14 PM

It's bad when the talking heads already look like caricatures.

Zackman 3,927 0
09/30/2004 10:16 PM

Bush just gave us a "Godamn" is this Emerson gonna shut up. look

millie 116,984 28
09/30/2004 10:18 PM

True. W has big ears. And when they show him from behind, his butt looks big. I don't like a big butt on a man.



There! I've made my decision on who I'm voting for. Wait, I have to see if they show Kerry from the back first. If his butt is smaller, I'll definitely vote for him.



Big head is better than big butt.

Zackman 3,927 0
09/30/2004 10:18 PM

We're facing a group of folks.







hahahahahahahahaha

millie 116,984 28
09/30/2004 10:21 PM

Bush should stop rolling his eyes and smirking.



Both of them have too much make-up on.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
09/30/2004 10:24 PM

Oh man, you can cut the sexual tension with a knife.

millie 116,984 28
09/30/2004 10:25 PM

John Kerry pronounced nuclear correctly! Yay! He gets my vote!

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/30/2004 10:25 PM

Sure, the smirking is annoying, but for Christ's sake, Kerry is not answering the "what would you do" questions and instead just saying what he dislikes about what Bush is doing. My biggest pet peave about debates is when someone doesn't answer the question asked.

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
09/30/2004 10:26 PM

Have you ever considered a career in political commentary?

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/30/2004 10:26 PM

Chi-Chi, you're an awesome lesser god. I heart you today.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
09/30/2004 10:27 PM

I'm just waiting for them to look angrily at each other, then stare for a beat before they totally make out.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/30/2004 10:28 PM

(For those playing at home, I'm not allowed an official stand on these two numbnuts because of my awesome Canadian heritage.)

Zackman 3,927 0
09/30/2004 10:30 PM

I'm glad the tray was ready, Dubya just got his ass handed to him.

What's it all about, Chickens? 286,480 61
09/30/2004 10:30 PM

First it's like Mr. Stumblemouth then they switch to Lurchy McLurch Flop.

Zackman 3,927 0
09/30/2004 10:33 PM

I'd pay a dollar to see how many mother-Frosters Emersons and Frost-ing jerks Dubya has scriblbed on his "notes" so far.

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 36
09/30/2004 10:35 PM

Damn this is boring. I can't believe they preempted the rasslin' to show this snooze fest. They need to put those two in some singlets, oil them up, and get them to fight for votes.

millie 116,984 28
09/30/2004 10:36 PM

These debates are never really debates. They just try to fit in their scripted Shakespeare where they can.



I'd love to see a totally unscripted one.



I wonder if Bush has a remote control thingy in his ear with someone screaming what to say.



Oh, I love the way he just said Japan's prime ministers name to prove he knows it.



Yeah, Kerry is kind of Frankensteinish, but what can you do?

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/30/2004 10:39 PM

If there ever was an unscripted debate between the candidates, it would be amazingly helpful for all the voters. God forbid.

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 36
09/30/2004 10:40 PM

Funny how President Bush just said that it's hard to get from a place where people are executed to a place where people are free.

131,068 34
09/30/2004 10:42 PM

Hey...

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 36
09/30/2004 10:46 PM

Apparently Dubya doesn't like to change positions. Sounds like Laura might be looking for something more exciting on the side.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/30/2004 10:48 PM

Git 'er done Spicey!

millie 116,984 28
09/30/2004 10:49 PM

Uh! Kerry mentioned the Vietnam War. I knew he would...



Well, I agree with what he said about war versus warriors.

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
09/30/2004 10:50 PM

If anyone out there thinks Kerry is a 'notorious flip flopper' watch the movie Outfoxed. It's kind of a documentary on the Fox News Channel.



Pretty biased, but informative nontheless.

Piemaster 12,538 15
09/30/2004 10:52 PM

Anyone notice that Kerry looks at the speaker when replying and Bush looks into the camera?



That has to mean something...

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/30/2004 10:54 PM

Maybe it means he's had practice in front of a camera.



Hmm, homemade presidential porn. I have to go wash out my mind's eye now.

piXXXie 5,871 11
09/30/2004 10:56 PM

I'd pay a dollar to see how many mother-Frosters Emersons and Frost-ing jerks Dubya has scriblbed on his "notes" so far.



Zack, this tear in my eye is from laughing so Frost-ing hard. I love you.









A lot.

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 36
09/30/2004 10:58 PM

Did Bush just take credit for bringing peace to Libya?

piXXXie 5,871 11
09/30/2004 10:59 PM

$10 says he has not the first Frost-ing clue where Libya is.

millie 116,984 28
09/30/2004 10:59 PM

I like the way they talk to Jim all the time. "Jim, the president just said blah blah blah..."



What about the rest of us? Jim only has one vote, people!

Suicidal Sanitary Napkin 30,762 12
09/30/2004 10:59 PM

The should start singing the JibJab version of "This Land"

millie 116,984 28
09/30/2004 11:04 PM

Pass a global test? Man, I didn't think I'd have to take a test as president. Wait, let me look at the notes they gave me. The Hague, I think I know what that is...uhh...

Whistler P. McManus 185,953 44
09/30/2004 11:04 PM

If this debate was a prison, W would be Kerry's bitch right now.

millie 116,984 28
09/30/2004 11:11 PM

"I like you George, I really like you."



That was an actual quote from a client of my former boss, except for the George part. Coincidentally, the client's name was George. He raped his cell-mate, and before he did it he said that--"I really like you." Poor kid didn't like him back--at all!

millie 116,984 28
09/30/2004 11:11 PM

That post made no sense, did it?

millie 116,984 28
09/30/2004 11:16 PM

Kerry is HOT for Laura Bush!



You can tell.

millie 116,984 28
09/30/2004 11:18 PM

Best quote of the debate by Kerry:



I've never wilted in my life.



Theresa knows it, baby!

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 36
09/30/2004 11:20 PM

Russier? I hardly even knoBLAM!

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/30/2004 11:21 PM

Ew!



Also, I'm bored with this now. Damn you television for ruining my attention span!



Oh sweet television, I take it back. I'll always love you.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
09/30/2004 11:22 PM

Oh, Shakespeare, Napkin. I had completely forgotten all about that song. Thanks.

Zackman 3,927 0
09/30/2004 11:34 PM

I think Dubya's new nickname should "Mumbleaya"



He looked more uncomfortable than a whore in confession.

Whistler P. McManus 185,953 44
10/01/2004 12:54 AM

This is really my true opinion: that was the best hour and a half on network television since Roots.



Also, Kerry should grow a beard. He'd look just like Lincoln.

Pistol luvs you with bullets 10,071 9
10/01/2004 12:59 AM

I didn't watch it. Can somone please tell me if they made out like Chi Chi said they would?

teh porn producer 7,627 9
10/01/2004 01:00 AM

You'd like if they made out wouldn't you?

Whistler P. McManus 185,953 44
10/01/2004 01:02 AM

They didn't make out, but Kerry put his hand on Laura's ass, and clearly tried to slip Jenna the tongue.

Whistler P. McManus 185,953 44
10/01/2004 01:04 AM

W showed wisdom and merely shook hands with Theresa Ketchup.

Pistol luvs you with bullets 10,071 9
10/01/2004 01:05 AM

I still think Kerry's gay with the other John. This is my only way of justifying my vote for Kerry. You know, excluding the part about Geroge Dubya being a moron.

Pistol luvs you with bullets 10,071 9
10/01/2004 01:06 AM

Oh, and before I forget- CHI CHI, YOU'RE A LIAR! A FILTHY, FILTHY LIAR!

El Hammerheado 59,399 14
10/01/2004 03:54 AM

While watching part of the re-run on CNN (I taped it and will watch it later. Smackdown was more important), and I saw where there was some question about he cost of lives in Iraq or something. Kerry said something to the effect of "I know what it's like to lose men in combat" and I blurted out "cause I won three purple hearts" from JibJab's "This Land," mimicking Kerry's voice inflection exactly.



While I think that Bush did repeat himself quite a bit, Kerry seemed to believe that Bush's decision to go to war was wrong, simply because Bush should have tried to talk Sadam out of doing nasty horrible things. However, it seems that Kerry just ignores the previous resolutions and attempts by everyone to talk Sadam to death.



Kerry also inferred that we just packed up and left Afghanistan to invade Iraq, and left everything to the Afghan warlords who previously supported the Taliban. As far as I know, there are still troops in Afghanistan.

bob the weasel slayer 166 8
10/01/2004 04:48 AM

I say Hargrave for prez

TTJ for vp

Frogpop 173,153 25
10/01/2004 04:59 AM

As far as I know, there are still troops in Afghanistan.



..in the cities (4 or 5 of them). And the warlords have the rest of the country and are of varying shades of loyal/disloyal to the gov't, as is their want. We could have done a lot to stop terrorism, foster democracy, etc etc, by staying there and finishing the job. Too bad Afgans sell rugs instead of oil.

millie 116,984 28
10/01/2004 07:40 AM

Kerry also thinks it was wrong because the whole premise behind going to war with Iraq was their supposed cache of weapons of mass destruction that did not exist.



That was the basis on which a lot of congress voted, and they were misled.

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 09:13 AM

I slept through most of it, only barely opening my eyes every few minutes to see the creepy split screen, decide I was bored then go back to sleep.



I can say one thing - I'm pretty sure the debate changed a big fat zero amount of the votes and Kerry will still lose in November.

monkeys that don't know when to SHUT THE HELL UP 443 8
10/01/2004 09:16 AM

it was good. monkeys like seeing monkeys on tv.

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 36
10/01/2004 09:21 AM

Susan Roberge said she had supported Bush in 2000 and would be proud to vote for him again. She said she felt a very strong emotional connection to him, confirmed by watching the debate.



"I really felt Bush made eye contact with his audience. Kerry was looking askance," she said. "He didn't stand up and show that he had not been inconsistent on Iraq."



I fear that Lila may be right. When you make your voting decisions based on how well the candidate works the camera, the terrorists have already laughed their asses off at you.

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 09:25 AM

When you base your entire voting decision on how your candidate looked and what scripted responses they read the night of September 30, 2004 teh idiot is you.

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 36
10/01/2004 09:29 AM

Hell, after seeing that debate I'm ready to buy my own island and set up a dictatorship over the monkeys and the parrots.



I'd better start liking coconuts.

Whistler P. McManus 185,953 44
10/01/2004 09:54 AM

I like the split screen. It let you see how they reacted to each other's comments. Bush's reactions looked like "shut up, Frostface," and Kerry's looked like "I so pwn you."

Wicked Wedgie Woman 15,741 12
10/01/2004 09:57 AM

Hey Spicey,



I hear they are having a man shortage on Pitcairn Island, over near Australia/New Zeland.



Just don't Frost their 12-year-olds. The 16-year-olds are all yours though. Totally legal.

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 10:10 AM

Were you watching a different debate thane me, Whistler? The only look I ever saw on Kerry's face was, "You raaaaang?"

He looked like he was sleepwalking.

monkeys that don't know when to SHUT THE HELL UP 443 8
10/01/2004 10:11 AM

Pitcairn Island, over near Australia/New Zeland.



"near" in the same way that manhattan is near africa...

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 10:18 AM

Did anyone see the pre-debate festivites on CSPAN?

I found out Donna Shalayla is president of Miami University! How the Frost did THAT happen?

Also, the moderator gave a 15 minute speech about how no one in the audience was allowed to speak or leave the room and he even told Laura and the Ketchup lady to "take names" on who was talking while the candidates were responding. It was like grade school all over again.

The weirdest part was when he said no one was allowed to laugh. I kept thinking, but one of them will at least try and make a joke. What should the crowd do - sit silently and appreciate the humor without acknowledging it vocally?

Ms. Trixxie the Sex Nigger 65,021 15
10/01/2004 10:20 AM

Bush repeated his position of "stay the course" to the point of being insulting to anyone with a brain - and thereby connected with a vast majority of american voters (See Lila).



Bush brought up doubts about Kerry's ability to command, and regurgitated 9/11, terrorists, fear enough to keep the sheep corralled enough to vote him back in.



Kerry had Bush a little bit on the defensive and managed to look and act all presidential but not enough to win the election.



I taped some picture of midget porn over the candidate's faces and jacked-off.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 10:24 AM

Kerry's looked like "I so pwn you."



...down to local pawn shop with thee, dubya.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 10:25 AM

The only look I ever saw on Kerry's face was, "You raaaaang?"





*kisses Lila right on the mouth*

Zackman 3,927 0
10/01/2004 10:25 AM

No, they were supposed to sit there and A) take a nap or B) shout obscenities in their heads.



While we at home shouted the obscenities and laughed our asses off.

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 10:26 AM

See Lila? Hey, homo, I wasn't the one who said I "connected with" Bush, that was a Spicey quote.

Quit grouping me in to your bed-wetting, whiny liberal generalizations.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 10:31 AM

My take: Kerry needed to obviously kick Bush's ass to catch up, and the debate was too damn close to call. Bush, as usual, stumbled on his words which despite all he's done, doesn't look presidential. He did a better job of connecting with the audience however. Kerry, despite looking like Lurch, looked very impressive, standing back from the podium and looking lots more polished despite never addressing the camera (and thus the people).



Still, he kept up the "I have a plan that's better than his." without putting out that plan. And don't say, "I'm gonna have meetings with other countries" as a plan the American People wanna hear. We're a country of hawks. "Plans" means "I Have a New Weapon in my back pocket and here it is" to Americans.



Kerry didn't deliver enough, and it looks like 4 more years.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 10:32 AM

Oh, and I fell asleep near the end.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
10/01/2004 10:37 AM

ctrl + f "Nutbutter"



Phrase not found



*leaves*

Zackman 3,927 0
10/01/2004 10:39 AM

WHO THE Frost IS POSTING FOR TRIXXIE?



There wasn't a single spelling error in that post! Someone has taken over Trixxie, maybe it's the Invasion of the Republican body snatchers.





This is just an observation: If any of the staunch Republicans on the board had a child involved in Iraq killed, I think their point of view would shift slightly.



Nothing brings home the point of wrong course like the death of a child in totally unnecessary cirmstances.



Afghanistan, good going, Iraq, no banana for the monkey boy.



When you stop and think that we could get billions and billions of oil barrels from Canada without firing a single shot or Frost-ing up Alaska's eco-system, I'd say, bring the boys (and girls) home and let those mother-Frosters kill each and take the Frost-ing oil for free.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 10:39 AM

He should have done ctl f Emerson.



It's not like we weren't talking about him.

Zackman 3,927 0
10/01/2004 10:42 AM

Chickens, where in the Frost did you get your poll numbers? All I saw last night (I haven't turned on the news today, it's all probably about the mudslingingbate) was Kerry ahead by 9 or 10 points.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 10:49 AM

Zach, "let those mother-Frosters kill each other" is impossible. They hate us for supporting Israel which is why 9/11 happened.



The agressors in that part of the world are willing to send terrorists to our door. We didn't declare war on Afganistan, but on terrorists and the nations that harbor and support them. Iraq was well know for supporting terrorists, was trying to develop bigger weapons, was a known aggressor and was snubbing the UN and the world. They were the next logical step. I'm guessing Syria is next if we can find an excuse.



Weither you like it or not, they (middle eastern terrorists) brought the war to us and we cannot pull in our welcome mat and pretend oceans will insulate us anymore. Wake up.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 10:50 AM

Did I mention poll numbers?

Zackman 3,927 0
10/01/2004 11:05 AM

Chickens, I totally agree with you on the SADDAM issue, not the whole country. We are trying to fight a loosing war against a "group of folks" as Dubya calls them that hate us, but it's just a group, not a whole country. Pull out, Frost the oil and then they will kill each other over who gets to sit on the big chair, once the leaders are gone, the rest is easy. If we were to stay in there the Bush Admin. needs to come up with better reasons to make the public believe in it other than the tired "axis of evil" and "nuke-u-lear" tirades and lies trying to cover up their Frost up. We are gonna bring Democracy to Iraq just as we brought it to Korea and Viet-Nam and Iran and Chile and Afghanistan (twice)and many other places. They are tribal animals, and they have been ever since Ishmael got kicked out of his dad's house for being a bastard child. Thousands of years of things being the same way become a genetical trait.



We haven't even found Osama, what makes you believe that we're gonna win? And at what cost? Most importantly, how will I benefit from it? By not getting killed or bombed? Shakespeare, I could die from a hang nail for all I know, but I wont let anyone tell me that hang nails need to be exterminated and make me live in fear of them. Death is a natural thing, a bomb is not, but you gotta die of something.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
10/01/2004 11:05 AM

You Republican guys sure love wars. "I'm guessing Syria next if we can find an excuse." Let's just say they have weapons of mass destruction, and then when we go in and kill them all, we can say that while we were killing them, they distracted us with their dieing and we didn't notice that they HID THE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION THAT THEY HAD ALL ALONG BUT NOW THEY ARE GOOD AT HIDING THEM.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 11:09 AM

We haven't even found Osama





I think they were waiting for an October surprise on that one.

Madgoat 801 10
10/01/2004 12:03 PM

We are trying to fight a loosing war against a "group of folks"



A loosing war? Better that than a tightening one.



And Chickens - I agree about the October suprise. We ought to start a pool about what day they find Osama. My money is on October 25.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 12:26 PM

Probably more likely they will find a year old grave, but yeah, I'm holding my breath on that one.

Frogpop 173,153 25
10/01/2004 12:58 PM

We haven't even found Osama





I think they were waiting for an October surprise on that one.



I fear so, and have remarked as much previously on this interweb chatboardsitepage.

Jolson 16,163 11
10/01/2004 01:52 PM

Too bad Afgans sell rugs instead of oil.





Didn't you listen to a single word Kerry said? He said they make OPIUM too!!! I don't care what trash you talk about those Afghani's, those mother-Frosters know how to party!

YOURHEADASPLODE! 112 8
10/01/2004 02:06 PM

"Liek Kerry 707411y pWn3d teh bush!"



I'm not so good with this e-lingo...



pWn = Degrade someone whos accomplishments are (at least) that of national leadership while your own are that of a tree hugging Poe?



I wonder... How easy would it be for Bush to sling back if Kerry actually accomplished something outside of campaigning in the last four years?

SheCabbage 5,200 13
10/01/2004 03:08 PM

Could Bush have looked any stupider? Not likely.



Bush: "The enemy" attacked us, so now we need to attack "the enemy."



Kerry: I thought Bin Laden attacked us, not Saddam Hussein. You know, the Bin Laden that's in Afghanistan, not Iraq?





I have SO much more respect for Kerry now. Before I was planning to vote for him if only to help oust Bush out of office, but now I actually sort of like the guy. It's all based on what sort of juju vibe I get from him.



Kerry, while restrained, seemed to be pretty calm and collected and spoke plainly. Bush, on the other hand, talked all hunched over with his palms up as if saying, "What are you, some sort of retard? How could you be so stupid?"



Being talked down to by the likes of Bush does not make me feel warm and fuzzy.



BUSH: And now we're fighting them now. And it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is.



Ah, refreshing.

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 03:16 PM

I have SO much more respect for Kerry now.



*snicker*

SheCabbage 5,200 13
10/01/2004 03:19 PM

Whatever, Lila. Just go on being proud to vote for a complete moron.



I'd vote for a disease-ridden Bangkok ex-whore if she had a chance of beating Bush in the election.

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 03:21 PM

These anybody-but-Bush people kill me. Fine, go right ahead. But don't be crying to me if your idiot wins and screws you over even though he promised he wouldn't.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 03:22 PM

Which is why you will be able to hold your nose and vote for Kerry then.

Jolson 16,163 11
10/01/2004 03:24 PM

Well Lila, look at it like this. We're going to get ass raped by Bush no matter what. At least if Kerry's in office there's the chance that we might not. I'd go for the slim chance that we might not over the sure thing any day.





Unless its of course a hot chick, then I'm ready to go anytime anyplace!

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 03:28 PM

Got news for ya, Jolson, you're gonna get ass-raped either way. Neither candidate really gives a Shakespeare about you and only wants the prestige and money.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 03:30 PM

And don't hold your breath on the hot chick thing either.

The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
10/01/2004 03:31 PM

These anybody-but-Bush people kill me. Fine, go right ahead. But don't be crying to me if your idiot wins and screws you over even though he promised he wouldn't.



Kinda reminds me of the "anybody but Clinton" people who were running around from 1992 until 2000

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 03:33 PM

Reminder: "Anybody But" campaigns never win elections.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,480 61
10/01/2004 03:35 PM

In other words, focusing on one campaigners bad qualities instead of your campaigner's good qualities just focus more and more attention on campaigner #1.

The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
10/01/2004 03:39 PM

All I know is when Bush gets re-elected, those secret service guys better be earning their paychecks.



I'd rather have Curious George as my president than Darth Vader.

SheCabbage 5,200 13
10/01/2004 03:42 PM

These anybody-but-Bush people kill me.



These "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on...uh...you?" people kill me.









And lots of brown people in foreign countries.

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 03:50 PM

SheCab voted for Bush? I don't believe it for a second.

Chance 171,270 14
10/01/2004 03:52 PM

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a

Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock." The hands had moved twice. Telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.

"Where's Senator John Kerry's clock?" asked the man.

"Senator's Kerry's clock is in Jesus' office." St. Peter responded. "Senator Kerry's clock is so important it is in Jesus' office?" asked the man. "Yes, he's using it as a ceiling fan." Responded St. Peter.

Itchy Gooch 439 9
10/01/2004 03:53 PM

Bush is not a good debater. What does that prove? Does that prove that Kerry should be running the country? NO! I don't care for the rest of the world, I really don't. All I know is that Bush doesn't take Shakespeare from anyone, and that's the kind of president I want in power. HAIL BUSH.

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 03:55 PM

<action>sighs

Oh god, THIS is the guy represeting the conservatives?

SheCabbage 5,200 13
10/01/2004 03:58 PM

Don't believe it, because I didn't vote for Bush. I'm not a mouth-breathing COPS-watcher.



Bush is an imbecile, hands-down. He's arrogant, inarticulate, and extremely narcissistic. Anyone who can't see that is, well, who cares what I think. Enjoy your monster truck race.

The Real Rockin Donkey 77,546 17
10/01/2004 04:00 PM

Oh god, THIS is the guy represeting the conservatives?



No. Bush is. But this guy isn't much different from Bush.

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 04:03 PM

These "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on...uh...you?" people kill me.



Then...why did you say that if it doesn't even apply to you?

You no makey teh sense, left-wing commie.

SheCabbage 5,200 13
10/01/2004 04:05 PM

That's what I'm calling you, in response to your comment about the fact that "anyone but Bush" people "kill you".



I'm sorry, should I have included cartoons to illustrate?

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 04:07 PM

No, you should have included a fact since I never said I was voing for Bsh.

SheCabbage 5,200 13
10/01/2004 04:09 PM

I'm sorry, then...after reading your posts in this thread I got the impression you were a fan of the Shrub.



*erases cartoons*

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/01/2004 04:11 PM

I'm not a fan of either, which I guess is unacceptable to you commies.

Ms. Trixxie the Sex Nigger 65,021 15
10/01/2004 04:13 PM

occasionally take my time and offer grammatically correct prose. I'm not being pro-bush, I still want him to lose, and then be taken out and anally violated with a bush hog. We can't just unfortunately just pull out of Iraq cause it would be to much of a black eye to the idea of invincible American military might.

SheCabbage 5,200 13
10/01/2004 04:22 PM

I'm not a commie, I'm a greenie. Though I don't know if that makes it any better in most peoples' eyes.



You have Republican undertones, Lila. It's not attractive on a girl your age.

Jolson 16,163 11
10/01/2004 04:26 PM

This is surreal- I'm witnessing a big, brown nose argue with a platter of delicious spare ribs.





Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

SheCabbage 5,200 13
10/01/2004 04:32 PM

I always thought that was a plump cockroach/eggplant hybrid pooping out a handkerchief.



What exactly is that thing?!

Jolson 16,163 11
10/01/2004 04:32 PM

Know what strikes me as funny, people who assign a negative connotation to the term, liberal. Here's Dictionary.com's definition of liberal:



liberal-

a)Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.

b)Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.



Here's a definition of conservative from the same site:



conservative-

Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change.



Indicating to me that conservatives tend to be closed minded and single focused while liberals tend to be open minded and open to exploring new ideas- interesting.







PS: I'm not trying to get into a pissing contest with anyone. If I were I'd probably win seeing as I drink about 10 20oz. bottles of water during the work hours alone- unless of course I were missing up a flagpole or into the wind for that matter --



Um, what was I talking about?

SheCabbage 5,200 13
10/01/2004 04:34 PM

Besides, Lila and I weren't arguing...we were loving one another.



Loving one another like a dysfunctional family does.

Jolson 16,163 11
10/01/2004 04:34 PM

Ok, this thread has a full pee tube, time to let it die.

HisBoyElroy 10,621 13
10/01/2004 08:45 PM

saying lila has republican overtones is like saying the ocean seems watery.

millie 116,984 28
10/01/2004 08:48 PM

It will not die yet.



Kerry is not advocating pulling out of Iraq immediately. His stance is that the war was a mistake but we can't go back in time so we have to deal with it.



I'm voting for him and his big Easter Island head.

Adrian the Slut. 13,341 13
10/01/2004 09:01 PM

From a foreign point of view, Dubya got his ass handed to him, with Kerrys dick still inserted.....



And I can not Frost-ing belive I stayed up till 4.30AM to watch....

Persian, D/L teh pr0n. 888 9
10/01/2004 09:02 PM

My favourite debate is my daily maths debate!

The Panties Effect 8 8
10/01/2004 09:49 PM

Hmm.. Presidential debate. You could find more intelligent arguing in a school playground...



'Where did you put my doll?!' ~ Child one

'I don't know, i thought you had it.' ~ Child two



'Where did you put my weapons of mass destruction?' ~ President

'I thought you said you knew where they were?' ~ Prime minister

Similac Addict 64 8
10/01/2004 10:21 PM

I loved it when Kerry said



"I will do everything in my power to hunt and kill these terrorists."



Cue to Bush's rebuttal.



Deer in the headlights.

Piemaster 12,538 15
10/01/2004 10:37 PM

"[Read my lips] I want the military to stay volunteer" -GW Bush



For those of you that know some one in the armed forces... Is that person likely going to re-enlist?





I've said it before, but this time I'll say it more clearly. If Bush is re-elected, your sons and your daughters will be sent to Iraq to die over what?

Gorilla Lord 158 9
10/02/2004 07:47 PM

If the good ole draft gets reinstated, I'm loppin of my index finger for a 4-F deferment. Or maybe I'd go to Canada. Eh, a missing finger is better than living THERE.

millie 116,984 28
10/02/2004 08:53 PM

So I'm heading for the nearest foreign border

Vancouver may be just my kind of town

Because they don't need the kind of law and order

That tends to keep a good man underground

Pubah 56,805 18
10/03/2004 04:16 PM

I'm with you Captian Lila...I think they both suck and plan to rape us...uh...you working taxpaying Americans for all you're...uhmm, uhhh...we're worth.



I'm voting for Chance! THat way, when she rapes me, at least I'll enjoy it!

Chance 171,270 14
10/03/2004 04:19 PM

Why thanks Pubah! A vote for Chance makes you happy in the pants!

Pubah 56,805 18
10/03/2004 04:21 PM

<action>Looks cautiously at Chance</action>



I would enjoy it...wouldn't I?



What else would you do for the American constituancy, Candidate Chance.



I'll listen off the air.

Fluro 14,139 11
10/03/2004 06:00 PM

I don't think that bush is as thick as everyone thinks he is. Just because Michael Moore said it, don't mean it's true.

millie 116,984 28
10/03/2004 06:04 PM

Yeah, that's the only reason I think that, because Michael Moore told me so.



Because no one could tell otherwise...

Fluro 14,139 11
10/03/2004 06:06 PM

Because, you know. You have to be a complete numbskull to become president of the USA. And everyone here is too smart, that's why they're not the president.

millie 116,984 28
10/03/2004 06:13 PM

No, but having a lot of money and connections helps.

piXXXie 5,871 11
10/03/2004 06:15 PM

Fluro, if you think that George Bush is more intelligent than you are then I greatly apologize for making so many jokes about him. I'm sure they hurt just as bad as people making fun of your helmet and drooling. My sincerest apologies.

Jolson 16,163 11
10/03/2004 08:32 PM

You guys are all idiots. Bush is the Frostin man. With the power of his badass lieutenants Ashcroft, Rumsfeld, Cheny as well as the dark overlord Rove they will combine to form the most powerful robot ever know- Doltron! And with the mega-powered Doltron they will one by one subjugate all those countries harboring terrorists. If those countries try to resist because of their claim of "sovereignty" then we'll just bomb the hell out of them anyways! Woohoo!



Doltron, Defender of the Universe!

exxxitOnly 128 8
10/11/2004 01:25 PM

I say bring back Clinton.

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/11/2004 04:45 PM

Thank god that is not an option.

piXXXie 5,871 11
10/11/2004 06:46 PM

Whew, you're right about that Lila! Who the hell would want a guy back in office that provided us with the biggest surplus in American history, the best overall economy, and the lowest unemployment rate most of us have ever seen?!?!? Thank God for that two term limit!

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/11/2004 07:08 PM

<action>snickers

the biggest surplus in American history, the best overall economy, and the lowest unemployment rate most of us have ever seen



Oh, really? Prove it. Each and every claim you made.

piXXXie 5,871 11
10/11/2004 07:13 PM

Proof #1



Proof #2



Please see me for further enlightenment, my darling! Smooches.

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/11/2004 07:26 PM

Perhaps I should have made a disclaimer that one of your reference of "proof" could not be a CNN news story where the PRESIDENT HIMSELF said he pulled off a surplus.

Also, why people think the Commander is Chief has anything to do with Billy Bob in Alabama getting a freaking job just proves to me that the average citizen is a wonder of science when they speak at all.

Captain Lila 78,550 13
10/11/2004 07:28 PM

That approach would be in lieu of tax cuts, which "we can't do this year because the president vetoed it," Watts said.



Gee, thanks for looking out for the average voter (namely ME) Bill!!

Gabe the Merciless 9,232 13
10/11/2004 08:24 PM

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coastal area for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the sea wall on Galveston Isle in his Pope mobile when suddenly he notices a frantic commotion just off shore.



There was John Kerry struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with two men aboard. One of the men, President George W. Bush quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while Dick Cheney reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious John Kerry from the water. Then using baseball bats, the two heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.



Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessings for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between President Bush and John Kerry, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true."



As the Pope drove off, President Bush asked Dick "Who was that?"



"It was the Pope," Dick replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has all of God's wisdom."



"Well," President Bush said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about shark fishing........ how's the bait holding up?"

millie the scary bitch 116,984 28
10/29/2004 12:52 PM

Oh Chickens, you could have logged in to post that!

heXXXie 5,871 11
10/29/2004 12:59 PM

Go to HoB, nazi.