dinesh 24,862 16
10/08/2004 02:59 PM

Dear Idiots Quarterly,



You'll never believe what happened to me today...

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
10/08/2004 03:02 PM

Ya I'm dumb...

I probably have a black eye and my shirt is ripped.



And I probably wouldn't have rolled down the stairs so far if I un-tucked myself from the fetal position.

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
10/08/2004 03:04 PM

I typed in idiots quarterly on the MSN search and it came up with the Ku Klux Klan... go figure.

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
10/08/2004 03:11 PM

Has anybody else ever been beat up before?



For the benefit of making my dreams come true please describe in full gory detail.

McRib, limited time only 13,155 9
10/08/2004 03:12 PM

I guess when you wake up and realize it's smorning and not morning, it's bound to be a bad day.

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
10/08/2004 03:12 PM

Lousy Smarch weather.

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
10/08/2004 03:16 PM

I did that on purpose...

,but if your not going to appreciate my cute lil new word you can't have it!



smorning!

I love it goooood.

Sourescent Flombrero 91,274 10
10/08/2004 03:17 PM

You got beat up?? Haha. Thats what you get for being an Emerson.



Luckily for me, I diddnt get beat up for being an Emerson yesterday.



My brother asked me to take him to Value Villiage (see: Salvation army) to drop off a couple bags of clothes and pick up his new Futon frame. So we drop off the bags at their back bay doors, and walk around inside. We found an employee and he helped us carry the frame to the back bay door.



Just as we open it there are a couple dirty homeless indians sifting through the clothes we dropped off. They looked up at us (2 no-haired young Coleridgey looking jerks) with fear in their eyes, thinking we work there.

"Well well.. BUSTED! Gentlemen"

Uhh, we were uh.

"Look at the mess you're making with these bags, Clothes are everywhere!"

One of them gave me an angry look. and replied something about them dropping the bags off

"Well you might have dropped off that small grocery bag, But you ripped open these 2 big garbage bags"

Yeah, they're uh, ours.

"I highly doubt that, Boys. Look, theres my old T-shirt" I said, Pointing to it and looking at my brother.

Well uh-

"You know these guys Sell clothes here, right? 20 cents for a jacket, its outrageous!"



That was the kicker. They took a pair of jeans and walked off, Grumbling something about needing more wine.

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
10/08/2004 03:18 PM

The automatically checks DP's Grammar/Spelling machine says DP

you Frosthead you said your instead of you're you must spend 7 days in the big metal box.

Vitriol 341 9
10/08/2004 03:24 PM

Smorning is morning with melty marshmallows and chocolate. If that's what hell tastes like, sign me up.

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
10/08/2004 03:26 PM

When I get down there I'll put in a <c>good</c>

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
10/08/2004 03:27 PM

and when I say



When I get down there I'll put in a <c>good</c>



I mean I was Frost-ing around with HTML and must have accidently clicked submit...



boy is my face red.

Jerk Puddin, Ender of Threads 4,016 9
10/08/2004 03:31 PM

Wait, so a kid, someone younger than you, kicked your ass?





HAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAA

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
10/08/2004 03:42 PM

Wait, so a kid, someone younger than you, kicked your ass?





HAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAA



um ... Go away.

Darthneomaul (sci-fi n00b) 360 8
10/08/2004 03:52 PM

Dread, I am really sorry about the beating this morning. My short yellow bus was late picking me up again and I had a big test in my remedial math class this morning.

Sourescent Flombrero 91,274 10
10/08/2004 04:01 PM

After our little encounter with the homeless, My brother had the audacity to tell me i was an Emerson. And that i went overboard.



You guys dont know my brother, But rest assured, he is El Supremo Assholio.



"I thought you were gonna get beat up right then." He said, in a tone that made me think he wouldnt jump in.

I turned, coldly, to him and said, "This coming from the guy who got beat up by the same person, twice in one hour."

That was the end of that.

Briham 38,843 10
10/08/2004 04:28 PM

Dread, I think your little escapade just proved the existence of God.

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
10/08/2004 04:31 PM

I spent all of my time beating up my brothers and sisters.



Better me than some Frosttard who isn't quick enough to catch an elevator or some homeless winos.

Sourescent Flombrero 91,274 10
10/08/2004 04:46 PM

I hope you diddnt miscontstrue (spelling? Frosted if i know) that it was ME who beat him up. No no no. He was walking back to his apt. one night, some dudes said something to him, he obviously said some Shakespeare back to them. Beating #1 ensued. He was mad, Went back to his pad, got a couple buildingmates/friends, and a weapon (telescopic riot police club) and went back.. When he whipped it up above his head, the guys ran a little ways. Then his "buddy" snatched the weapon, and they turned and walked away with it. So he got beaten again by the same guys.

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
10/08/2004 04:49 PM

No I didn't misconstrue it at all. Simply stating my overwhelming joy at pummeling my siblings.



I am the oldest. It was my duty. (not doodie)

Sourescent Flombrero 91,274 10
10/08/2004 04:53 PM

<action> is a youngest </action>



I know All too well.

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
10/08/2004 06:09 PM

I had to use the elevator again to get to my last class.



As I sat there looking out into the lobby I listened to the sound of a ladies voice as she cried NO STOP THE ELEVATOR!



I thought about my beating earlier and thought *psht* whatever this old lady isn't going to make it upstairs to the fourth floor before I do.



, BUT WOE TO MY DISMAY! She caught the door and wiggled her-self in...

And as she did she scowled at me.

Being in that elevator at that point in time made me very uncomfortable.



And during the whole three minutes of silence, as she stared holes in my head, I thought to my-self this is the most awkward ride up four floors I have ever been on...



I think I'm going to use the stairs from now on...

*cries a little.*

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
10/08/2004 06:22 PM

Seeing as how all little old ladies know each other I think it's safe to say I'm not going to be getting any really big presents from grandma this year...

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
10/08/2004 06:29 PM

I'm putting together an ad campaign for a Pro-choice rally. Dread, I was wondering if I could use you as an example.

rudolph the red-nosed retard (TFN) 1,412 10
12/14/2004 09:47 PM

When you say kid, I think four year old. You may want to consider getting a membership in a gym.

ringworm 68,315 13
12/14/2004 09:52 PM

what a perfectly timed retort. unfortunately, someone beat you to it by two months.