HighSoci 30,076 18
10/19/2004 12:42 AM

Quick everyone.. we must knock this thread off the board so Oliver can't see it and we have to hear about it for months.

Jane's so good, she'd make a dead man cum 173,958 15
10/19/2004 12:43 AM

HS, don't do that. Please.



Look, let it stay on the board, and I'll make that trip to LV and repay you in the only way I know how.

HighSoci 30,076 18
10/19/2004 12:44 AM

Thanks, but your foodstamps won't do me much good.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
10/19/2004 12:45 AM

Since this was public I don't feel like I'm interrupting to say that was really sweet. Oliver, you're a good fellow.

Jane's so good, she'd make a dead man cum 173,958 15
10/19/2004 12:45 AM

Damn, HS. I was talking about sex. But if foodstamps are what you want...

HighSoci 30,076 18
10/19/2004 12:46 AM

Like I said.... Everyone you better do your best to keep this thread on the board for Oliver in the morning.

thejman 69 8
10/19/2004 12:47 AM

hmmmmmmm, duh?

Jane's so good, she'd make a dead man cum 173,958 15
10/19/2004 12:48 AM

I guess I should actually tell you what he did. But i promise, you don't want to hear about it.



I was really upset that Tom Waits was only doing one US show, and it was in Seattle. Obviously, I couldn't go. But Ollie is in the area. The phone call came as he was sitting in the middle of the concert. Silly, it may seem, to some of you. But Tom Waits is my favorite musician. And it thrilled me like you would not believe. Ollie even called during one of my 2 favorite songs off the new CD.

dianada 57,822 108
10/19/2004 01:04 AM

I almost went wit him to the concert, but then he went and let his friend "claim" the other ticket. Even though his friend was invited first. My point is, I thought of you when he asked me if I wanted to go, TTJ.

Jane's so good, she'd make a dead man cum 173,958 15
10/19/2004 01:06 AM

Aaaw, shucks. I would give my daughter's right arm to be there right now.

Jane's so good, she'd make a dead man cum 173,958 15
10/19/2004 01:26 AM

OH.MY.GOD.



He just called back. And what song was Tom singing, you may ask? Okay, you wouldn't ask. But I'll tell you anyway.



Right now, as I type, Tom Waits is singing Table Top Joe in my ear. I am the happiest girl alive. Almost orgasmic.

HighSoci 30,076 18
10/19/2004 01:51 AM

Keeping the thread on top so I can get the sex from TTJ Oliver can see it in the morning.

Fratberry 282,845 53
10/19/2004 01:53 AM

<action>shoots Jane with lithium dart</action>

Jane's so good, she'd make a dead man cum 173,958 15
10/19/2004 01:54 AM

Fratberry, I took my lithium today.

millie 116,984 28
10/19/2004 02:18 AM

That was very sweet and thoughtful of him.

Jane's so good, she'd make a dead man cum 173,958 15
10/19/2004 02:25 AM

It was! To call me during the song that I got my GAB name from. He rocks! And to call me during one of my 2 favorite songs from the new CD. He is so great. I envy the women that ends up with him.

piXXXie 5,871 11
10/19/2004 02:25 AM

Oliver. Consider yourself my UNfriend.



Your jealous, sexually frustrated, bitter UNfriend...

Gabe the Magnificent 9,232 13
10/19/2004 02:28 AM

That was really nice of him. I'll give him clickies the next time I see him. Or at least see his name.

The High Priestess of Peaches 58,875 29
10/19/2004 07:13 AM

Isn't Ollie a sweetie? I have to add on my own account that Oliver is one of the nicest Gabbers when he isn't fogging up my windows with his breath.

Ms. Trixxie the Sex Nigger 65,021 15
10/19/2004 10:31 AM

Dear Oliver: I want to do things to you you've never thought of too. Love Trixxie

Teh Lolrus 197 8
10/19/2004 10:40 AM

What the hell does giving someone a wash have to do with this thread?

Clover Heist 203,475 12
10/19/2004 11:05 AM

Dear TTJ,



I appreciate your kind words, but don't buy that plane ticket to Seattle just yet. I must confess. I was not able to go see Tom Waits. I told you I was, so I could closer to the sweet scent of your panties. Here is what really happened. I would like to apologize for any confusion.



The first phone call you received was an accident. My phone must have dialed your number by mistake. I was quite upset with not being able to see Tom Waits. In my frustrated state of mind, I went in the alley, found a couple of cats, threw them in a burlap sack (thanks for the tip Highsoci) and beat them mercilessly with a basball bat. So what you thought was Tom Waits, was just actually a couple of cats screaming for their lives while I bludgeoned them in anger.



As far as the second call goes, well...it's a little embarassing. I decided to make myself a cup of tea to calm myslef down. I got the water nice and scalding hot, just the way I like it. I don't know what got into me, but I poured the entire pot of boiling water down my throat. I grabbed my phone to call for help, and I guess since you were the last number my phone dialed, it called you. You must have mistaken the screams of pain and agony coming from my burnt and blistered larnyx for Tom Waits. Again, a simple mistake.



I did not mean to mislead, but I am happy I brought a little joy to your dreary day. Again, I apologize. Please forgive me.



Oranges and orangutangs,

Ollie

Minced Lamb Fondue 33,017 9
10/19/2004 11:06 AM

So this one time me and Oliver were out at the farm frollicking in the hay and I was this close to having my way with him when I realized that I left the barn gate open. So I stood up and yelled "Ollie! Ollie! Oxen's Freee!!!"



Oh how we laughed.

Clover Heist 203,475 12
10/19/2004 11:42 AM

Awww man. Trixxie too? I have enough members of the QTA tryin to get into my back pocket.



This one does scares me the most though.

Declan McManus, irritated bear. 131,874 36
10/19/2004 01:36 PM

Trixxie scares you more than I do?



That is the insult of the week.

Flourescent Sombrero 91,274 10
10/19/2004 01:40 PM

You smell like a fart.



That is the insult of the weak.

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
10/19/2004 01:45 PM

Declan, I feel like you would at least cuddle me after. I have this feeling that Trixxie would hurt me, put a notch on his bedpost, and leave me to lay in a puddle of....well....let's not get into that.

dianada 57,822 108
10/19/2004 08:06 PM

Ollie, you're thinking of Mookie.