Phla Mignon-dairy creamer 131,068 34
11/09/2004 05:27 PM

In unrelated news, Chickens has gotten rid of yet another foster kid.

Yummy Chickens in Giblet Gravy 286,527 61
11/09/2004 05:29 PM

shhhhhh

Just-a-Pubah 56,805 18
11/09/2004 05:38 PM

<action>Cries Bitter Tears</action>



CAuse he's been left out of the ReinGabber games...

Saucy Humongous Panda Breasts 181,783 70
11/09/2004 05:41 PM

Dear My Secret Santa,



If you have yet to get me something, you can get me a copy of Briget Jones' Diary, full screen DVD.



Yes, I realize the other people of GAB will ridicule me, but I don't care. I love that movie.



Thank you,

SHP



P.S. I also need some extra batteries for Mr. Buzzy.

DemoMarshmallowSalad 166,252 10
11/09/2004 05:43 PM

You're right. You WILL be ridiculed.



Full screen?! Ewwww....

Saucy Humongous Panda Breasts 181,783 70
11/09/2004 05:46 PM

When it comes to Colin Firth, the more of him, the better.

New_turKey_Baster 76,490 10
11/09/2004 05:49 PM

Colin Thecond ith better.

Just-a-Pubah/w Chili Sauce 56,805 18
11/09/2004 05:50 PM

Colin Cancer sounds more interesting

The Sweet Potato Priestess 58,884 29
11/09/2004 05:50 PM

Panda I second the idea. Id I were your SS I'd get you a cardboard cut-out of Colin Firth as Mr.Darcy from Pride and Predujdic.



*Ain't no mountain high enough...*

rockerchicinnc 60 8
11/09/2004 05:52 PM

Dear secret santa,

I want 50 million dollars, a brand new dogde viper (black), an indoor swimming pool, an outdoor swimming pool, a hot tub, a big house with a built in movie theater and gym, and a butler or maid

Saucy Humongous Panda Breasts 181,783 70
11/09/2004 05:53 PM

If you wish in one hand, and spit in the other, you'll be left with a slimy hand and nothing else.

Yummy Chickens in Giblet Gravy 286,527 61
11/09/2004 05:54 PM

I also need some extra batteries for Mr. Buzzy.



8 D cells again?

Oliver Turkeybreast 203,475 12
11/09/2004 05:56 PM

I heard it runs on diesel.

Saucy Humongous Panda Breasts 181,783 70
11/09/2004 05:56 PM

A Die Hard should do.

ringworm 68,315 13
11/09/2004 05:58 PM

autozone will recharge those while you wait.

The Sweet Potato Priestess 58,884 29
11/09/2004 05:58 PM

Mine needs a pull cord.

Oliver Turkeybreast 203,475 12
11/09/2004 06:00 PM

If you wish in one hand, and spit in the other, you'll be left with a slimy hand and nothing else



Or you could be left with the begining of a date with yourself.

Just-a-Pubah/w Chili Sauce 56,805 18
11/09/2004 06:07 PM

<action>Did someone say Ben Diesel?</action>

Saucy Humongous Panda Breasts 181,783 70
11/09/2004 06:08 PM

If you want to split hairs, Ollie, my hand doesn't end up slimy until after a date with myself.

Oliver Turkeybreast 203,475 12
11/09/2004 06:09 PM

Got to lube it with something.

Bonky 75,733 15
11/09/2004 06:15 PM

Ben, Vin . . . same thing really.

Hollis loves you. 7,284 14
11/09/2004 07:06 PM

Dear my Secret Santa,



I may be a bit late because my Shakespearety-ass computer won't let me log into my e-mail account. Sorry for any inconviences!



Love,



Hollis

Declan McManus, Daily Prophet Food Columnist, '04 131,874 36
11/09/2004 08:38 PM

Dear Secret Santa Victim:



Post alFrost-ingready.



I have no idea what to give you. I hate most items promoted as gag gifts.



I know most of your interests, and might get your legally wedded spouse some sex toys for your spouse to use ON you....



Some of your interests are my interests as well....



Irritatedly yours,



Declan

millie will bring the pies 116,988 28
11/09/2004 09:21 PM

Dear SS victim,



I don't know you; you have barely posted. What you have posted has given me little indication of who you are are what you may like as a gift. I can't glean any information from your user profile.



All that having been said, I enjoy giving gifts, and I will put a lot of thought into what I give you.



I hope you enjoy whatever I decide to send you.

Hammerhead-O-Lantern 59,399 14
11/09/2004 10:07 PM

Dear Secret Santa:



I don't know if you think it'll be hard to get me anything, but I've been here long enough, so use your brain. I'm sure I've given enough to use.





To my Secret Santa Victim:



I know just enough about you to look for something that would interest you. And you'll be getting something funky as well as something good, if I can pull it off. So enjoy. I'll have to start searching tonight, as I've been a lazy bastard recently and put it off. You should be getting it within a couple weeks or so.

The Sweet Potato Priestess 58,884 29
11/09/2004 10:11 PM

Dear SS Victem:



I hope you don't have your children around when you open this.



Heh. Heh heh. Heh heh heh. (insert minaicla laughter here)

AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/09/2004 10:42 PM

I have just sent off gifts for my SS victim - I had wanted to send more stuff but it would have been cheaper for me to fly there than pay more bloody postage !

I have no idea what sort of stuff your into so I hope you enjoy the enema bag and 1ply loo paper

Daggy : whatEVAR!!! 86,705 14
11/09/2004 11:21 PM

To my SS person. I like pez.

I don't currently have a set of shrek ears (not the hat, just the ears), so if you could get your hands on some that would be groovy.

I also love anything remotely spongebob.



While we're at it, I now have sound on my computer, so if someone could find the the link to the spongebob trailer that frogpoop posted recently, that would also be sooper.





I can't believe I just typed 'groovy' out loud.

Llama- packing on the holiday llbs 7,194 10
11/09/2004 11:27 PM

Dear Secret Santa victim:



Again, my many apologies, but your gift will arrive late as I am buying it in China. I've decided a peasant farmer would be too bulky. How about a small schoolboy? Or a pair of Oakeys?

DemoMarshmallowSalad 166,252 10
11/09/2004 11:34 PM

I came back to Gab too late to get in on the Secret Santa program. So I've decided to pick Chili again, like last year.



This years present is going to be TWICE as good.

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 37
11/09/2004 11:38 PM

I was going to put some effort into my secret santa gift, but I'm just not feeling inspired. I think it's time for a trip to Y'all's Texas Store.

paulies gladheateher giblets 272 8
11/09/2004 11:40 PM

Dear Secret Santa,

If Chicken has any more foster kids to send, I know a woman in CT and a school teacher in Fla. who would each love an 8 year old boy of there very own-- to love, an hold and squeeze a little to tight and to shave their privates in front of.





Man where were these chicks when I was 8

Daggy : whatEVAR!!! 86,705 14
11/09/2004 11:46 PM

When I say I like pez, I mean I like pez dispensers.



Everybody knows that pez candy is crap.

Declan McManus, Daily Prophet Food Columnist, '04 131,874 36
11/10/2004 04:44 AM

Daggy- crap flavoured Pez might be an improvement.

Frogpop 173,153 25
11/10/2004 07:45 AM

Dear My Santa,

If you're out of offensive Gab ideas you could always pick something off of my Amazon Wish List. If this link breaks, just use the email in my profile to search for my list on Amazon.

-Frog

Yummy Chickens in Giblet Gravy 286,527 61
11/10/2004 11:00 AM

My secret santa victim is getting as part of his/her gift, the ultimate pez dispenser based product. Funniest. Of. All. Time.



I bought one for myself as well and it's sitting on my desk RIGHT NOW.

I got Chit to be thankful for 178,776 15
11/10/2004 05:37 PM

I serriously hope Chickens is not my Secret Santa, cause I will mail back any box that screams, "Mrs. Emma, Mrs. Emma," in a heartbeat.

I got Chit to be thankful for 178,776 15
11/10/2004 05:41 PM

And a Nicole Brown Simpson Pez dispenser is so 1994.

Phla Mignon-dairy creamer 131,068 34
11/10/2004 05:42 PM

Or, the NHL 2004-2005 season.



NAKED HOCKEY!!!oneiceyneutralzone

Dr. Chester Felipe 161,353 14
11/10/2004 05:45 PM

Dear Secret Santa person:



You should send me some stuff, because I LOVE stuff!

Yummy Chickens in Giblet Gravy 286,527 61
11/10/2004 05:49 PM

Well, It's only a small part of the gift, so here it is.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
11/10/2004 05:50 PM

<action>crosses fingers and hopes Priestess is talking about her and that the box will go buzzzzzz when she shakes it</action>The Sweet Potato Priestess

11/09/2004 9:11 pm [ZzykBUPyIwW4IzdVh7WMAA]



Dear SS Victem:



I hope you don't have your children around when you open this.



Heh. Heh heh. Heh heh heh. (insert minaicla laughter here)



If the person who has me is to chicken to buy one of those, that's fine. Hell, that's the reason I don't have one-I'm to chicken to go buy one. I'm easy. I lurve t-shirts. And Paul Reubens. And Tom Waits.



Oh my God, I have the perfect idea. A Mr. Buzzy and a Paul Reubens DVD of some sort.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
11/10/2004 05:53 PM

Okay, I know how that sounded. But I promise, I'm not going to be masturbating to Pee Wee's Playhouse.



No, really. I won't.







I promise.

































Stop looking at me like that!

Jantastic 10,022 10
11/10/2004 06:10 PM

I just got a suggestion for something to include with my SS's gift that made me spew half a cup of coffee across my desk. This will be the best Decemberween ever!

Oliver Turkeybreast 203,475 12
11/10/2004 06:23 PM

I have been busy working on my SS's gift 7 minutes each time, twice a day, everday, for the past 2 weeks. I've already got 2 full jars.

Roasted Raccoon 56,688 10
11/10/2004 06:32 PM

My victim will love me and possibly build a shrine to me. I'll humbly decline being put on a pedestal but it may be unavoidable.



(Note: if I Frost up my plans and can't deliver the best present ever conceived, pretend I said my gift would be adequate and probably enjoyable.)

Hollis loves you. 7,284 14
11/10/2004 06:44 PM

Dear Secret Santa Victim:



Update:



I now know who you are. And your address.



Love,

Hollis

Daisypie 49,378 9
11/11/2004 02:29 AM

VERY interesting wish-list you've got there Frogpop...























Ya fag! ...for all that Leonard Bernstein.



Seriously though, really cool list. I'm going to order a couple of books off your list.

Humphrey B Skippin’ Thanksgiving 51,764 12
11/11/2004 03:03 AM

Dear SS,



I would like a t-shirt that says "I signed up for the GAB Secret Santa and all I got was this lousy Frost-ing t-shirt."



Love from,



Humphrey

Yummy Chickens in Giblet Gravy 286,527 61
11/11/2004 03:20 PM

It's away!



One of you schlocks can start watching your mailbox, for a Chickens package is away to you in the name of Secret Santaing.



I can now take the moral highground having fulfilled my duty as the very first Secret Santa.

WickedWegieWoman-All hopped up on tryptophan 15,741 12
11/11/2004 07:57 PM

Chickens,



Won't Hen be pissed you mailed away your package to a complete strager?



To my Secret Santa,



You have no idea how much thought I have put into your gifts. I have so many things I want to send you that I may not be able to afford presents for my children.



Every time I get a new catalog I find something else that will shock, confuse or humiliate you.



I love this game!



Wx3

AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/19/2004 03:54 AM

Who has sent their ss gift ?

Who has recieved ?

Frogpop 173,153 25
11/19/2004 04:23 AM

IT'S NOVEMBRE!

AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/19/2004 04:41 AM

Yes , but it takes a long time for the postie to walk from Australia to the US

I got Chit to be thankful for 178,776 15
11/19/2004 05:00 AM

Sarah,



You aren't doing that present in a bottle thing are you ?



Cause this seems to be another El Ninio year here in the states, so you might check your tide tables too.

AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/19/2004 05:17 AM

You aren't doing that present in a bottle thing are you ?



Well Duh . How else am i suposed to get it there ?

I got Chit to be thankful for 178,776 15
11/19/2004 05:25 AM

Some happy peruvian tribe will get to try buttwipe for the first time this year I feel.

Polo Chukker 4,634 11
11/19/2004 09:36 AM

Whoever has Frogpop should e-mail me! I have lots of great ideas!

Chance 171,275 14
11/19/2004 09:54 AM

To my Secret Santa-

My likes: Nail polish (reds or browns), Nail Jewels, biore nose strips, apricot face scrub, cute socks, Black by Kenneth Cole (I would love you forever!), Candles (vanilla scented), Earrings (no hoops), and Toe rings, V.C Andrews Novels or anything about true crime. Thats all I can think of at the moment.



Dislikes: Make-up & Twinkies. DON'T YOU DARE!!!!

Chance 171,275 14
11/19/2004 09:57 AM

Oh I almost forgot the most important like!! Big Fuchsia Car Battery Operated Dildo.



Yep, thats about it.

Roofie the Red-Nosed Raccoon 56,688 10
12/02/2004 10:56 PM

My gift goes out Monday. Hooray! I will be loved!

millie christmas and and happy new year 116,988 28
12/02/2004 11:29 PM

My packages went out yesterday. One for my victim and one for Aimless.

Lizzie Borderline 4,212 10
12/03/2004 12:15 AM

I ordered my person some stuff off Ebay, and one of the things didn't come. So I'm going to use extra bubble wrap!

BobJohnson, President of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
12/03/2004 12:45 AM

I have ordered the stuff, but it is not scheduled to all be here until Dec. 15. So my recipient probably won't get it until New Years.



But they'll forgive me, assuming they like midget porn as much as I do.

¡Debo ahora bailar con mi árbol de Navidad! 54,807 10
12/03/2004 10:07 AM

Something for me???? YAY!! *hopes for the limited edition goatse/tubgirl playing cards*



And thank you Hollis for the christmas card, I saw the envelope and proudly showed it to the current boy toy and exclained "It's from a Gabber!!!!" All I got as a response was a blank stare.





He's blind and mute though, so that's pretty normal.

The Decked in Holly Priestess 58,884 29
12/03/2004 12:10 PM

My gifts to my victim goes out today. I was gonna put in boobie pics, but my printer isn't working.

Christmas Chickens in Every Stocking 286,527 61
12/03/2004 12:21 PM

WELL YOU JUST KEEP YOUR ShakespeareTY PRESENT THEN!!!

Styles McFresh 161,353 14
12/03/2004 12:32 PM

Not having a credit card makes Secret Santa shopping super hard.

Christmas Chickens in Every Stocking 286,527 61
12/03/2004 12:57 PM

I don't mean to make the rest o fyou look bad, but my secret santa victim (Jaggy) is the only one to have actuall recieved their SS present so far and she lives on the far side of the moon.



GeT OfF YoUr AsS YoU LaZy BaStArD! (BiTcH)

Styles McFresh 161,353 14
12/03/2004 04:51 PM

I prefer to purchase butt-plugs on-line, and that's hard to do without a credit card.





Oh Shakespeare, I just gave away that I have Chickens for SS.

Oliver Chestnuts roasting over an open fire 203,475 12
12/03/2004 04:59 PM

Well Chix, It is only December 3rd. I still have 22 days to send my SS the anthra....nevermind.

Christmas Chickens in Every Stocking 286,527 61
12/03/2004 05:07 PM

SOMEONE LEND CHI CHI THEIR CREDIT CARD!

Christmas Chickens in Every Stocking 286,527 61
12/03/2004 05:07 PM

<action> hopes it's one of those with the jewel

Roofie the Red-Nosed Raccoon 56,688 10
12/03/2004 07:12 PM

I made my gift with stuff I had lying around. That means it was made with LOVE. For a person I've never MET. That's some mighty fine dedication.



It's also a bit hard to explain to my ultra conservative in-laws. "Who is that for? Where do they live?" So far they haven't asked how I know this person. Maybe I'll avoid the internet stranger answer and say "my other lover."

Styles McFresh 161,353 14
12/06/2004 01:54 PM

I just created and shipped off an amazingly awesome Secret Santa gift. Only one GABber has seen it. So victim, keep an eye out for the UPS man in four to five days.

¡Debo ahora bailar con mi árbol de Navidad! 54,807 10
12/06/2004 03:04 PM

Millie:



YOU ROCK! Thank you so much for the loot! I love your postcards and plan on framing them to hang in my hall, and already have the snowflak hung up. I LOVED the eraser and the gum cracked me up.



You dear, are awsome. Thanks!