Patrick - Adopt me! 752 9
11/17/2004 09:38 AM

Why would you say that anywhere?

Daggy 86,705 14
11/17/2004 09:38 AM

That's super.

Daggy 86,705 14
11/17/2004 09:39 AM

Goddammit patrick!

Chance 171,275 14
11/17/2004 09:41 AM

I can't believe you haven't noticed my adams apple.

Fratberry 282,931 53
11/17/2004 09:43 AM

I like to yell out "Here comes the paaaaaaaaiin!!!".

Patrick - Adopt me! 752 9
11/17/2004 09:44 AM

I AM THE FASTEST!



That's something I like to yell out.

Chance 171,275 14
11/17/2004 09:47 AM

I AM THE FASTEST



AM THE FASTEST (echo)



THE FASTEST (echo)



FASTEST (echo)





I usually lay there and say nothing.



What?

I got Chit to be thankful for 178,776 15
11/17/2004 09:47 AM

I certain circumstances, I can't think of anything I would want to say more durring sex, and hope like hell it's true too.





For instance, prison sex comes to mind.

Derpa Derp 375 8
11/17/2004 09:52 AM

"I have explosive diarrhea"



I once bent over in a bank and said that to clear the line.







It worked!

Kjellsor 8 8
11/17/2004 09:58 AM

"Fire in the hole!"

AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/17/2004 10:01 AM

If you want a real wild ride , try jumping on and saying "your brother/sister is a much better lay" and hang on tight !

Aimless 54,807 10
11/17/2004 10:02 AM

Things never to say during sex:





"Oh, Hi honey! You're home early, this is Rudolpho"



"Is it in yet?"



"Can we make this snappy, I have a date in an hour"



"I usually get paid extra for that"



"Do me HARD Bra...er Bo..er..what's your name again?"

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
11/17/2004 10:04 AM

When I'm in you, I feel nothing.

Pass the remote.

When is your daughter coming home?

Am I done yet?

What's your name?

Don't I know you from somewhere?

MOM!?!?!?!?!

DAD!?!?!?!?!

TheFoye 55,700 16
11/17/2004 10:11 AM

Yer my sissteeerrr!

-Joe Dirt

Whistler P. McManus 186,016 44
11/17/2004 10:25 AM

Wow. You could park a car in here.

Mr. Bri-hamloaf 38,843 10
11/17/2004 10:29 AM

"Don't try to fight back! You'll only make it worse!"

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
11/17/2004 10:35 AM

Is the burning normal?

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
11/17/2004 10:36 AM

Wow Fr. Ken, I always wondered what ya'll wore under those robes!

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
11/17/2004 10:36 AM

Sex with me is like going on vacation and I usually just keep saying,



Are we there yet



Are we there yet



Are we here yet



I have to go to the bathroom!

New_turKey_Baster 76,490 10
11/17/2004 10:48 AM

"Wait! I'll be right back! I just got an idea for a hilarious article."

Chance 171,275 14
11/17/2004 10:54 AM

You have the cutest penis I've ever seen! Oh and believe me, I know, I've seen many.



Theres black penis, crooked penis, pink penis, mushroom penis, tan penis, penis scampi, broiled penis, penis cocktail, penis primavera, gumbo penis, penis jambalaya........................

Gable Gobble 9,232 13
11/17/2004 10:57 AM

"Oliver? Since when are you a transvestite hooker?"

turtle10 42,578 26
11/17/2004 11:00 AM

" oh wow, this what the expression'throwing a hot dog down a hallway' means!"

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
11/17/2004 11:03 AM

"Quick, the gaurds will be back in 4 minutes!"

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
11/17/2004 11:05 AM

Have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal saviour?

Tina Phley 131,068 34
11/17/2004 11:05 AM

Gourds? Squash? Zucchini?!?!

Chris 'Darkmeat' Garrett, human turkey baster! 86,932 12
11/17/2004 11:08 AM

My GOD!!!



I had to strap a two-by-four across my ass so I wouldn't FALL IN!

Chris 'Darkmeat' Garrett, human turkey baster! 86,932 12
11/17/2004 11:09 AM

uuhhhhh uhhhhhh, uhhhhhh....ohhh ohhhh ohhh.....oh, Lil' Trae....



I'm CUMMING!!!!

Tina Phley 131,068 34
11/17/2004 11:11 AM

<action>beats every dead horse she can find, and kills some ponies so there are more horse-like things to beat</action>Harder? But I hardly even know you!

Lamburkey (ready for sloppy seconds) 33,017 9
11/17/2004 11:13 AM

Good doggy! Who likes the skippy peanut butter?! Yes!

Superfly 1,145 8
11/17/2004 11:13 AM

"Ready for the Gunk?"

Lamburkey (ready for sloppy seconds) 33,017 9
11/17/2004 11:15 AM

Man: I...I...Love...You!





Hooker:

Trae it, you'll like it 156,790 17
11/17/2004 11:15 AM

<action> crosses CG of list of potential babysitters.

Oliver Turkeybreast 203,475 12
11/17/2004 11:16 AM

"Honey, I'm pregnant."

Yummy Chickens in Giblet Gravy 286,527 61
11/17/2004 11:17 AM

"You know you really remind me of my Mom."

Chance 171,275 14
11/17/2004 11:18 AM

Trae- could ya sign on to yim? Youre a peach!

McRib, cranberry saucing you up 13,155 9
11/17/2004 11:19 AM

Grandma, if you insist on biting so much, can you at least take your teeth out?

Trae it, you'll like it 156,790 17
11/17/2004 11:20 AM

No can do Chance - I'm at work (HAHAHAHAHAHA) but you can email me : TraeL67 AT the hoo.



I will respond RIGHT AWAY!

I got Chit to be thankful for 178,776 15
11/17/2004 11:22 AM

Wow, when you sit with your legs like that, I can hear the ocean .

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
11/17/2004 11:24 AM

Chickens do we HAVE to do it with the deer carcass in the bed?

Yummy Chickens in Giblet Gravy 286,527 61
11/17/2004 11:29 AM

Chickens do we HAVE to do it with the deer carcass in the bed?



Well, you know I've always wanted a three way and it is a doe....

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
11/17/2004 11:32 AM

Couldn't ya just gut it, skin it, butcher the meat, and tan the hide?



Then we can do it on a nice soft deer skin rug and have a tasty venison meal afterwards.



I make mean venison stuffed shells.

Chris 'Darkmeat' Garrett, human turkey baster! 86,932 12
11/17/2004 11:36 AM

Well, you know I've always wanted a three way and it is a doe....





A Deer! A fe-male DEER!

131,068 34
11/17/2004 11:38 AM

Where do I fit in?

I got Chit to be thankful for 178,776 15
11/17/2004 11:41 AM

Ohhh, this is just heaven.



How the hell do chicks with teeth pull this off ? Any Idea ?

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
11/17/2004 11:42 AM

Your a drop of golden son





ewwwww

no golden showers in this deal

Bankey 70,843 10
11/17/2004 11:56 AM

I can't finish if you keep thrashing around like this.

Tina Phley 131,068 34
11/17/2004 12:00 PM

You're not very good at playing dead either, you know.

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
11/17/2004 12:00 PM

Trust me the pillow over your face will enhance the experience for both of us.

Peter Parker 125 8
11/17/2004 12:00 PM

Never say this during sex



Happy birthday grandma!

Chance 171,275 14
11/17/2004 12:03 PM

Trae- Right away is turning into NEVER!

Mr. Bri-hamloaf 38,843 10
11/17/2004 12:09 PM

Ah crap, I forgot to tell you, I've got herpes.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
11/17/2004 12:16 PM

Mooo.

Bark Bark.

Quack Quack.

I guess these are more of what you don't want to hear (to each his/her own) VS. what you shouldn't say... seemed like it would fit in this thread anyway.

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
11/17/2004 12:18 PM

"Now, here's a little something your dad taught me."

White Meat Miracles 22,430 0
11/17/2004 12:23 PM

When does the guy hiding in the closet get a turn?

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
11/17/2004 12:27 PM

NEXT!

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
11/17/2004 12:29 PM

I can believe no one said this already....





"Don't worry, it happens to all everyone once in a while."

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
11/17/2004 12:31 PM

damn my poor editing skills straight to hell

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
11/17/2004 12:31 PM

damn my poor editing skills straight to hell

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
11/17/2004 12:32 PM

WRONG HOLE!

TheFoye 55,700 16
11/17/2004 12:34 PM

Damn your poor editing skills straight to hell!

White Meat Miracles 22,430 0
11/17/2004 12:35 PM

You are not awesome like Bob Johnson's johnson.

White Meat Miracles 22,430 0
11/17/2004 12:36 PM

You are not awesome like Bob Johnson.

Fluro 14,139 11
11/17/2004 04:44 PM

"When I do you from behind, it's easier to pretend you're someone else"





(Property of Squeemish)

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
11/17/2004 04:50 PM

"You have to be on top tonight, I threw my back out humpin' your mom last night."

Mass Hysteria 134 11
11/17/2004 06:02 PM

yelling "RAPE" in the middle of consensual sex usually dampens the mood

Scratchy 2,750 12
11/17/2004 06:04 PM

"Have you seen my knife?"

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
11/17/2004 06:05 PM

Pull my finger.

Seasoned Filly Breast 39,193 20
11/17/2004 06:21 PM

"Whoops...."

Patrick - Adopt me! 752 9
11/17/2004 09:31 PM

Hey honey, guess what? I lost my full pee tube virginity!!1



Oh, of course I'm thinking about....you.

DemoMarshmallowSalad 166,252 10
11/17/2004 09:34 PM

"I'm a little teapot..."

Sir Clovis 1,465 10
11/17/2004 10:42 PM

Doctor says that this S.T.D is almost cleared up.

Seasoned Filly Breast 39,193 20
11/17/2004 10:44 PM

Demo, I love you today! That was beautiful, so if it doesn't get a full pee tube, there is simply no justice in the world.

Pubah is just full of It 56,805 18
11/17/2004 10:46 PM

"Be a dear and turn the page for me"



"Hot DAMN! You're waayyy better than an ole sheep!"

(inspired by Sir Clovis)