Suggested Holidays
A comedy conversation
by Bahh P-Humbug  56,805  18
12/07/2004 05:44 PM 561 views
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PAID days REAL Americans should have off instead of those bullShakespeare dead president birthdays...
Day After SuperBowl Day
-We stayed up late and probably drank too much to be any good at work.
Day After Valentines Day
-Cause we ran out and bought last minute flowers, begged for some 'midnight lovin' and of course drank too much last night to be productive today
First Day of Spring
-Cause it's warm dammit. Who wants to be stuck at work!
Tax Day
-We stayed up late getting our taxes in before midnight (instead of filing for an extension) or spent our refund drinking.
Cinco De Mayo
-Who gives a Shakespeare WHY they celebrate. It's an excuse to consume cases of Corona (with lime).
First Day of Summer
-Got to go to the lake (or beach) and watch the ladies (or men) show off their new tanning booth tans.
Fourth of July
-Cause ya git to blow Shakespeare up.
First Day of School
-Thank God the little crumsnatchers are out of the house.
Last Fling of Summer
-One last chance to get the kind of booty you'll be bragging about all winter
Dear Huntin' Season
-Time to reclaim your deerstand.
Day After World Series Day
-Less traffic for the firemen and cops to stop the rioters in the city that wins. (Why dosen't the city that LOSES burn Shakespeare up and turn over cars?)
Christmas
-So we can spend all year paying for Shakespeare we bought for people.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
19 votes
4.9
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Hilarious
16 votes
4.8
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Oh ChristmasTrae 156,790  17
12/07/2004 05:49 PM
Bob Johnson's Birthday - Because it's the most awesome day of the year!
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Bahh P-Humbug 56,805 18
12/07/2004 07:11 PM
Okay, that one too
I would have mentioned the Day After Stanley Cup Finals Day cause of all the burning, car tipping and random acts of sex...
...but THERES NO NHL HOCKEY!
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Dweezil Meniketti 77,546 17
12/07/2004 07:28 PM
we get a spring floater where I work which is a half-day off which we need to take between the end of February and the end of April.
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Pubah...Shooting the Plaza 56,805 18
12/07/2004 07:30 PM
<action>????</action>
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
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DirtyHermit 858 9
12/07/2004 08:34 PM
end of April
Also known as the booty gained on the Last Fling of Summer.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
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My Santa is the Chit 178,776 15
12/07/2004 08:46 PM
Have you ever taken a Spring Floater that snakes around and when you finally finiShakespeare looks like a pit viper coiled and ready to strike?
After one of those you need a day off.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Ms. Trixxie cumming down your chimney 65,026 15
12/08/2004 11:53 AM
Heh, you left out, Narcissist Day, Coming Out Day, and Judy Garlands Birthday.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
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Ms. Trixxie cumming down your chimney 65,026 15
12/08/2004 11:53 AM
Heh, you left out, Narcissist Day, Coming Out Day, and Judy Garland's Birthday.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Pubah...Shooting the Plaza Lights 56,805 18
12/09/2004 05:42 PM
Sorry Trixxie...Add them at appropriate times. Ones 'Coming Out Day' would seem like a birthday...not worthy of pay for no work.
Now Judy Garlands birthday...
*Walks a way dramaticly singing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow*
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Lamburger 33,017 9
12/09/2004 10:38 PM
I think we should have 364 days a year of "Frost Work" holidays. Think of the Hallmark career I'd have! I'd never get tired of writing messages for "Frost Work Day".
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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LL Cool Pubah...HaYa lak meh nah? 56,805 18
12/10/2004 04:18 PM
Normally I'm against celebrating dead peolple's birthdays...
...But Liberachie's birthday is a different story!
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Pubah 56,805 18
03/01/2006 02:15 PM
Might I add Ash Wednsday...
After the debachery of Fat Tuesday, we all need to sleep in (or go home).
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Pubah 56,805 18
03/01/2006 02:24 PM
For some maybe...for me, everyday is more like Lent.
Doing without something I really want.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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La Petite Mort de TableTopJane 173,958 15
03/01/2006 02:25 PM
Ugh. Sorry, Pubah. I'm not sure why I've decided to comment on you blackness every chance I get. I won't do it again.
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
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Pubah 56,805 18
03/01/2006 02:26 PM
I have plenty of that...
...consequently, I have to do without other things.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
03/01/2006 02:27 PM
You have to love a religious holiday where girls flash their tits.
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Pubah 56,805 18
03/01/2006 02:28 PM
You stay off my black ass Jane, and I'll stay off your appentage challenged offspring.
Deal?
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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TorchAteTeen 3,239 8
03/01/2006 02:40 PM
Yesterday was Flapjack Day! (pancake day for those to our north.)
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Pubah 56,805 18
03/01/2006 02:49 PM
<action>Imagines some of the body parts put on display looked more like flapjacks</action>
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Pubah, InJeoprody 56,805 18
05/16/2006 12:58 PM
<action>Bumps so DeClan will smile</action>
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