My Weird Afternoon
A comedy conversation
by Whistler P. McManus  183,262  42
12/16/2004 09:57 PM 105 views
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I had a very productive morning and sat down for a well deserved minute of rest this afternoon, then promptly dozed off.
I must have been out for about 20 minutes, but when I woke up, I looked at the clock and in my foggy state thought that an hour and 20 minutes had passed. I thought I was about to be late to pick up Liam at the bus stop. In our school district, if an authorized person isn't at the bus stop, they don't let the kindergarten and first grade kids off. So I'm jogging the two blocks to the bus stop when the phone rings.
It's EJ, and she asks why I sound out of breath. I tell her it's because I'm running to the bus stop, and she explains that I'm an hour early.
I turn around and go home, and decide to work on a paper I'm writing. After a few minutes of staring at the screen of my laptop, I decide I need to take a dump. So I take the computer with me and go do my business.
I'm just about finished when I notice that there's no toilet paper in there. EJ does this all the time. Well, there was no one home and another bathroom about 20 feet away, so I decide to go in there.
I've got my pants around my ankles and I'm shuffling along the parquet floor in my sock feet, balancing the laptop, when I hit a spot that got waxed a little too well.
I'm holding on the the computer for dear life, because God forbid I should drop that, and my feet are heading up while my head heads down. I'm thinking, "please don't let me be found unconscious on the floor with my pants around my ankles, a dirty ass and a laptop over my face.
Both the computer and myself were fine, but I did leave a skidmark on the parquet.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
34 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1098490
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.5
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Wonder Matzah 3,319  9
12/16/2004 10:01 PM
shuffling along the parquet
I stared at my computer screen in disgust, until I realized that I changed my swearbot several minutes ago.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.5
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Deck The Halls With Boughs of Lila 78,550 12
12/16/2004 10:38 PM
This story is another bright and shiny reason why I just adore the brothers McManus.
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0 votes
0.0
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Roofie the Red-Nosed Raccoon 56,688 9
12/16/2004 10:39 PM
What do you even say when your family comes home and asks why it smells like ass?
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.5
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Adrian von Headcrab 13,331 12
12/16/2004 10:47 PM
*wipes a tear*
Beautiful.
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.5
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Tab-Yule-a Rasa 14,056 9
12/16/2004 10:53 PM
Whistler, the thought of your dirty, hairy ass smacking against the floor while you struggle to hold a laptop is absolutely disgusting.
And Frost-ing hilarious. Two rolls up!
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
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'Tis the season to be Daggy 86,649 14
12/16/2004 11:05 PM
I just inhaled a crisp.
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0 votes
0.0
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Roofie the Red-Nosed Raccoon 56,688 9
12/16/2004 11:06 PM
I just inhaled a crisp.
I hope you weren't thinking "YUM!" at the time. That'd be gross.
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Hilarious
10 votes
4.9
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Chris 'tmas tree' Garrett 86,932 12
12/17/2004 07:30 AM
Yet another reason, you should use butter, instead of parquet.
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
12/17/2004 02:31 PM
I spread my butter on the parquet.
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0 votes
0.0
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WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
12/17/2004 02:32 PM
Damn you CG. I read each successive post getting all the more exicted that no one had cracked the whole butter/parquet thing.
Stop sucking the funny out of me dammit!
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