Lasacasa 141 9
12/24/2004 06:37 PM

I disagree, and would rather see just the kids. I know what the parents look like (and they are most likely still ugly or still Barbie & Ken), but the kids may have changed. This gives me the chance to either marvel at how cute they've become or, more commonly, laugh at their awkward stage. Sick, I know.

Feliz Daisypie 49,378 9
12/24/2004 06:42 PM

<action>*whispers*</action>...shhhhh, no one tell Phuc that his daughter is made of meat...

Phuc 237,919 21
12/24/2004 06:44 PM

I got the mirepois in the bathtub.

Feliz Daisypie 49,378 9
12/24/2004 06:47 PM

Uh oh...

Hank Hill 1,465 10
12/24/2004 06:51 PM

The only picture I want to see in a christmas card is that of a dead prez.

Phuc 237,919 21
12/24/2004 06:52 PM

Look, godamnit, the Xmas wishes are from the whole family, not the kids. Put yourself in the damn picture. I don't care how fat you are, how much your tits are sagging, or how bad your psoriasis is, I never get to see you during the year (admittedly because I can't stand to be around you, mostly because you smell like camembert) and I want that connection. Your kids can eat paste.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
12/24/2004 07:53 PM

Poor Al. Did Chickens send you a picture of the foster kids agian this year? You can't be so cold-hearted that a crack baby with a santa hat doesn't bring a smile to your face.



Merry Christmas, ya big lug. Give Patsy and Rosa some noogies for me.

Roofie the Red-Nosed Raccoon 56,688 10
12/24/2004 08:46 PM

This crack baby with a santa hat doesn't bring a smile to my face, that's for damn sure.

The Decked in Holly Priestess 58,884 29
12/24/2004 09:04 PM

Oh Roofie, how I less than three, you.

My Santa is the Chit 178,776 15
12/24/2004 09:13 PM

I had friends that did that every year with their three evil offsprings standing by the tree, or the fireplace with stockings hung in the background.



Only they would also have a Shakespeareload of old toys and laundry, or pillows etc in the background and it became a running joke for those of us that recieved the cards.



Funny as hell, except they would also drop by unannounced WITH the wrecking crew from time to time.

My Santa is the Chit 178,776 15
12/24/2004 09:16 PM

Scary RR, but that image is just as unsettling with the Santa's hat.

Phuc 237,919 21
12/24/2004 10:00 PM

Who the hell would making a painting of a child's corpse? That's just sick.

Roofie the Red-Nosed Raccoon 56,688 10
12/24/2004 10:56 PM

There's some explanation of the insanity here .

HeadlineNews 367 9
12/24/2004 11:15 PM

Nothing says Christmas spirit, like a nice ol` pair of titties in my christmas card.

Miracles on 34th Street 22,430 0
12/25/2004 03:38 AM

An 'ol pair of titties is not a good thing to ask for.

My Santa is the Chit 178,776 15
12/25/2004 04:06 AM

An 'ol pair of titties is not a good thing to ask for.







It is if they are those sweet ol titties you saw five years ago on the 14 year old neighbor girl.

Phuc 237,919 21
12/25/2004 12:20 PM

There's some explanation of the insanity here .



Dear sweet lord mary jesus and joseph of god!



I will never be mean to Demo again.

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
12/25/2004 01:39 PM

I will never be mean to Demo again.



I'm hoping that's at least partly because the article was funny.



But I'm fearing it's entirely because you feel sorry for zombie baby kringle.

Dweezil Meniketti 77,546 17
12/27/2004 12:01 AM

One of the guys I work with had pictures of him and his ferrets put on his christmas cards.



Frost-ing freak.

Calliope 927 10
12/27/2004 01:58 AM

My dad still sent out a picture of me and my sister even though we're 20 and 17...way past cute Christmas card age, if you ask me.

A cup of Christmas Hammerhead 59,399 14
12/27/2004 02:37 AM

No, but not too far off the barely legal incestuous age...

McRib, elf slayer 13,155 9
12/27/2004 02:42 AM

All I have to say is that people don't send enough naked pictures of their 17 and 20 year-old daughters anymore.

Miracles Weiland by the end of Rehab. 22,430 0
12/27/2004 02:47 AM

I got a card with stupid kids of a co-worker.



The kids look like retards and have crappy clothes.



I guess I should tell her that they look like little (downs syndrome) angels!

ringworm 68,315 13
12/30/2004 04:12 PM

here's how all holiday photos should look.

Errol, somewhere in middle america 10,584 9
12/30/2004 04:15 PM

I don't know if swearbot just farted. But I SWEAR I saw sh*t instead of shakespeare.



I feel like I'm really a part of the community now when my brain starts filling in the swearbot words. Awesome.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
12/30/2004 04:18 PM

Aw, the sad girl's not flipping anyone off. She doesn't really want to be a part of the family, does she?

Errol, somewhere in middle america 10,584 9
12/30/2004 04:21 PM

She's just using her Satanic voodoo powers to conjour fire on whoever reads the card.

Errol, somewhere in middle america 10,584 9
12/30/2004 04:22 PM

<action> smacks head against wall again and again </action>



CONJURE





STUPID STUPID STUPID, SO STUPID ERROL.

dropkick brody into the new year 43,090 12
12/30/2004 04:23 PM

Aww look the littlest girl is telling us to 'suck it'.



Kids. *hearty chuckle, shake of head*

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
12/30/2004 04:33 PM

Actually, they've taught their youngest to self-tenderize. She'll be just about right by the time they get home and put her in the oven.

Phuc 237,919 21
01/07/2005 10:23 AM

So all totalled, we got 14 Xmas photo cards this year. 12 had just pictures of kids, one had the whole family, and one had a picture of a cat exposing its genitals (or at least trying to--has anyone ever actually seen a cat's genitals?).



I'm going to assume that all those from whom we received cards with only their children on them are dead and that the kids took their own pictures and sent the cards out. They get added to the list of the living dead that includes all my friends from Berklee Pool o' Mucous who moved to Nashville.























Oh, and here's a picture of my kid. Happy New Year

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
01/07/2005 10:30 AM

How i missed this thred the first go around is beyond me.



Roofie's new found confidence is making for a ridiculous amount of teh funny.



I only have one family that sends me photo cards of their kid. I kind of like it. rmeinds me of the reasons I got neutered.



Phuc, cute kid.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
01/07/2005 10:31 AM

Are those your jammies in the background, Al?

Phuc 237,919 21
01/07/2005 10:32 AM

Nope. Babymommy.

SheCabbage 5,200 13
01/07/2005 03:01 PM

Egads, Al, that kid is cute!



I don't put myself in my xmas card pictures because my kidlet is about a zillion times more attractive than I am. I always look the same anyway.

SheCabbage 5,200 13
01/07/2005 03:05 PM

Want to see my holiday card? It's just a picture of my kid, but I literally picked a photo at random to see how the Snapfish cardmaking thing worked, then said, "Eh, it's good enough."

Phuc 237,919 21
01/07/2005 04:45 PM

Of course we want to see your godammn card.



...and if you are ugly, put yourself in the picture anyways, at the very least you'll make your kid look even cuter in comparison.

Jane's so good, she'd make a dead man cum 173,958 15
01/07/2005 08:00 PM

I hate people that show of pictures of their kids.

Loociam Yofada 97,986 37
01/08/2005 01:23 AM

has anyone ever actually seen a cat's genitals



Just the little cotton balls sticking out the back. They are so cute.

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
01/08/2005 04:11 AM

a male cat's penis has spiny, prickly "hairs' that flair out as the cat pulls out scraping the femal feline's internal vagins.

ringworm 68,315 13
01/08/2005 03:37 PM

cat genitals.

Livewire 78,229 13
01/08/2005 04:40 PM

a male cat's penis has spiny, prickly "hairs' that flair out as the cat pulls out scraping the femal feline's internal vagins.



And to think women get mad when the guy just puts on his clothes and leaves.

Loociam Yofada 97,986 37
01/09/2005 02:08 AM

Okay, so I just watched the kitty masturbation video that ringworm kindly provided. It didn't occur to me until the video was downloaded and playing that my cat was sitting on my lap at the time. So I just watched cat porn with my cat. And he started purring louder. This n00b has been officially corrupted.