Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
01/02/2005 01:17 AM

Yes, I know I'm a shallow mother-Froster.

McRib, alcohol tastes like happy! 13,155 9
01/02/2005 01:20 AM

You should let this new big girl eat your current girlfriend. I bet your other friends will respect her more that way.

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
01/02/2005 01:21 AM

Can't get people to take the bait by mocking their religion anymore, Zaph?

Errol, somewhere in middle america 10,584 9
01/02/2005 01:23 AM

Murder.

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/02/2005 01:24 AM

You may be jumping to conclusions, and your friends and family may be way less shallow than yourself.

AussieSarah-feeding babys to dingos for a low$1.99 8,390 9
01/02/2005 01:26 AM

Move some place where bigamy is legal

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
01/02/2005 01:29 AM

I never meant to mock anyone's religion. We can mock Ford's dead baby, but starting a thread saying Christmas is bullShakespeare on Christmas seems to upset all you gift-lovers.



Fine, I didn't get anything good for the holidays, and was pissed off. Are you happy now?



I asked this question here because, well, I can't think of anywhere else where I have a feel for people's personalities so I can put their comments in perspective. At the same time, I don't want to discuss this with people I know personally, as I am not sure how I feel about what people will think about me dating a fat chick.

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/02/2005 01:30 AM

Hee Hee, She said "Big"

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
01/02/2005 01:31 AM

Also, is it worth giving up the intense, crazed, lust-filled thoughts and feelings when with a woman you find incredibly attractive? I'd hook up with this other girl, but because she's cool and fun, not because I'm insanely attracted to her.

Daisypie 49,378 9
01/02/2005 01:33 AM

How about if you post a naked picture of each girl, and then we'll put it to a vote.

That will demonstrate you to all your detractors how egalitarian you really are.

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
01/02/2005 01:34 AM

I have already posted pictures of the girlfriend, so I have no problem with the sharing of photos. I don't have any of this new one, or I would.

McRib, alcohol tastes like happy! 13,155 9
01/02/2005 01:37 AM

Fat chicks need love, too. Besides, if you ever get caught hanging out with her in public, you can just say she belongs to a friend of yours who is out of town and you're taking her for her daily walk.

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/02/2005 01:39 AM

Honest Opinion : If you have to ask others and are concerned so much, about what others will think. You should continue on in the charade you are in at present.

Anyway, the fat chick is most likely a nice person and really doesn't deserve you.



Know what I mean ?



Nudge Nudge,



Hint Hint!

JustPlainDave 3,588 9
01/02/2005 02:46 AM

what do fat chicks and mopeds have in common?



















































They're both fun to ride until your friends see you doing it.....

evreet, formerly Sy the Photo Guy 6,547 10
01/02/2005 02:50 AM

Just remember, "The softer the cushion, the better the pushin'!"

Rаt in a party hat 2,085 9
01/02/2005 03:09 AM

Ask yourself this, if she lost a few pounds, would she be hotter than your current girlfriend?

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/02/2005 03:41 AM

How important is looks to most people?

How important is it to you that Gab people keep bugging you for more compromising girlfriend pics?



Seriously though, don't be such a jerk. If you like her better than go for it. What the hell do other people matter?



If you want to be happy for the rest of your life..



..never ask Gab to help pick you your wife.

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
01/02/2005 04:26 AM

I posted her pics because I wanted to, and took requests for more as a compliment. Frost, all this means I have a self-esteem issue.



Hopefully, I can work it out in the 13 sessions my health insurance allows.



Nevertheless, I suspect I shall lose both women, because that's the kind of Shakespeare that happens.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
01/02/2005 04:27 AM

Stop trying to hit them in the face with a pizza.

No Jive 2005 Lila 78,555 13
01/02/2005 04:31 AM

Nevertheless, I suspect I shall lose both women, because that's the kind of Shakespeare that happens.



Actually, kinda sounds like this Shakespeare that SHOULD happen to you. Sorry, but I gotta be honest.





Oh, and you're an Emerson. G'night!

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
01/02/2005 04:35 AM

I'm an Emerson because I choose the hot chick with the personality disorder over the cool but fat one? Fine. I'm an Emerson that hits people in the face with pizza.



Someone mentions that thread about every couple of months. That's awesome.

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/02/2005 04:38 AM

Legendary Emerson

Hammerhead 59,399 14
01/02/2005 04:41 AM

Beebs is goatse?

No Jive 2005 Lila 78,555 13
01/02/2005 04:43 AM

Zaphod, sounds to me like you haven't made a decision and that's why people are calling you an Emerson.



But I'm half lit and this would best be discussed over MSN. No, really.

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
01/02/2005 04:48 AM

Well, I haven't done ANYTHING that could be considered cheating, I have a long history with my girlfriend, and making a decision like this without thinking it through (even though sometimes my reasoning is Frosted up) is something that I can't do.

No Jive 2005 Lila 78,555 13
01/02/2005 04:48 AM

But you didn't give me your MSN so HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS!!??

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
01/02/2005 04:57 AM

If it wasn't almost 4am and I wasn't too tired to get into an in-depth discussion, I'd take you up on the offer. Seriously though, thanks for the offer. Very cool of you, maybe some other time.

No Jive 2005 Lila 78,555 13
01/02/2005 05:00 AM

Fine. It's not often you get a drunken Lila offering to chat. You're passing up on a golden opportunity.

I might not even be able to spell very well and that is something I will regret in the morning, mister!!

McRib, alcohol tastes like happy! 13,155 9
01/02/2005 05:06 AM

I love drunken posts. They're a lot of fun to look at the day after. It's like waking up next to an ugly girl.

jepreport 58,758 13
01/02/2005 09:02 AM

Aaaaawwwwww......I miss waking up next to ugly girls. There's nothing like it to help build up a comedy arsenal. My worst was this girl from Spain who had that rumored European aversion to leg shaving (actually, in all my travels, that's the only time I've ever seen that, and I was in San Diego). I woke up for an encore, seductively rubbed her leg and came up with a hand full of gam-hair. I was horrified, thinking I had REALLY f---ed up that night. After a quick under-cover check to make sure everything else was in order, I breathed a sigh of relief, got my encore, and then snuck out while she was in the shower, walking six miles back to base for fear my friends would see me with her.

Declan McManus 131,874 36
01/02/2005 09:15 AM

I find it rather Frost-ing amazing that women put up with this Shakespeare from men.



At least, being a homo, I know how shallow and despicable men can be.

jepreport 58,758 13
01/02/2005 09:55 AM

I agree. But, at least in my case, I am sure there were an equal number of hungover women who have been forced to chew their arms off in the morning to get away from me as well. No hard feelings towards them and no offence was taken. I'm sure I had fun and thank them for it.

Exploited Piemaster - Fillys sex slave 12,538 15
01/02/2005 10:08 AM

Drunk Lila. There goes all the chance I had in the world.

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/02/2005 10:17 AM

A buddy of mine, who has been caught on numerous occasions,

leaving a party with a woman he might have wanted no one to be aware of.

Has a favorite clich that he usually recites.



"Every now and then, you have to lower your standards, in order to raise your average."

jepreport 58,758 13
01/02/2005 10:30 AM

That's a gem, chit. True to the core. The central question there is: Would you rather pursue personal satisfaction with a viable partner or spend the night home alone corporally punishing a woefully inactive primate? For a sailor in his twenties with questionable ethics, a tragic lack of personal standards and a libido that would make a rabbit at a Pfizer test lab green with envy....the choice was fairly obvious.

millie 116,988 28
01/02/2005 10:57 AM

For crying out loud!



Every time I start to think men in general are not really that bad, I read something like this and it all goes to hell again.



Stay with the bitchy hot chick, please. Do the nice woman a favor and let her find someone who actually finds her attractive even if she has a few pounds on her. Don't disprespect her by wishing she looked better or worrying about what your friends think of her looks.



Looks are obviously the most important thing to you, or you wouldn't even have to question your decision.



I agree with Declan, I don't know why women put up with this Shakespeare.



And for all you men who are going to write that women are just as bad, save it. I know that women have their faults as well. But I'm not gay and I don't have to have sexual relationships with women, so it's easier to ignore their issues.

JustPlainDave 3,588 9
01/02/2005 11:07 AM

ok, i gave my "joke" answer....

my "real" answer is: beauty fades....are you really going to care what she looks like when you're both old and sex isn't the underlying motive for everything any more?

jepreport 58,758 13
01/02/2005 11:14 AM

You know, Millie....Looks were never that important to me in my younger years. My dating choices were determined by a woman's willingness to do weird and crazy things to me in the back seat of a Ford Escort. I don't think men really discover the benefits of a woman's personality until some drastic life-changing event occurs...like a close call with pregnancy or a REALLY uncomfortable STD picked up in an exotic port of call with a hair-raising (and dork lowering) pennicillian shortage.

jepreport - premature articulator 58,758 13
01/02/2005 11:27 AM

Actually, for real advice (I didn't think you were allowed to do that here), is go for the one you get along with better. After marriage and kids, if you can't hold an earnest conversation with your mate, you'll find yourself turning to ZUG for conversation and you have a decent idea, I bet, of how mentally catastrophic that can be.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
01/02/2005 11:49 AM

Zaph, you are the suckiest suck that ever did suck. Your suckitude is exceeded only by your immense suckage. In fact, your suck sucks the suck out of all other sucks. In short, you suck.

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/02/2005 12:01 PM

Two minutes to implosion !

millie 116,988 28
01/02/2005 12:13 PM

Roofie, I could not have said it better myself.

jepreport - premature articulator 58,758 13
01/02/2005 12:23 PM

<action>Roofie's pet noob enters room on all fours, hikes leg and wets all over Zaph's new Nikes. He then takes spot next to his mentor, doubles over and starts shamelessly licking himself just because he can.</action>



Yeah Roofie's pretty sexy when she gets all worked up.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
01/02/2005 12:26 PM

shamelessly licking himself just because he can.



You were clean 15 minutes ago. Now you're just on vacation.



--Family Guy

jepreport - premature articulator 58,758 13
01/02/2005 12:30 PM

Roofie....I damn near spewed orange Gatorade out of my nose on that one.

FlyingNun 1,412 10
01/02/2005 12:32 PM

It's all up to you, because the amount of worth that other people put on looks could be incredibly different than what you put on it. If you're trying to decide though, the first thing you should do is forget about all other opinions. This is for you to decide, not your friends. Then think what your life could possibly be like with the new one. Maybe she has some hidden problems that could make your life a living hell. Who knows, she might be a man. And then think, do you and your current girlfriend really have that little in common? If "no", and "yes", go for the new one. But if you do go for pork instead of salad, make sure you find some incredibly inventive and funny way to dispose of the current one. Then post it on GAB.















All of this coming from a 13 year old!

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
01/02/2005 12:41 PM

Boy are we going to be shocked when you hit puberty!

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/02/2005 01:08 PM

and by "shocked", Phla means "get beat up a lot".

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/02/2005 01:10 PM

scratch that; reverse it.

RedstaR I'm not a communist 1,068 8
01/02/2005 01:23 PM

beauty fades....are you really going to care what she looks like when you're both old and sex isn't the underlying motive for everything any more?



But who wants to live that far in the future? Are you going to date either of these chicks that long? The question is between the Now vs. Later.



OR



Ask Adam, he rules

whowhatwhy 0 8
01/02/2005 06:34 PM

Why not ask them both to your local fav "no tell" motel and have them both go at it. This probably will not work, but, at leat you'll know which, if neither of the two, you would pick. If the gods are with you, they will pick each other.

Boots at the Boar 2,305 11
01/02/2005 07:00 PM

Dude, the chunky chick makes you feel good because she needs you more than you need her. Your beautiful girlfriend is just the opposite so you don't feel like you hold all the cards in the relationship. Trust me, if you go for teh tubby, her neediness is really going to become a nuisance.



All in all, I think your more enamored by the novelty of a new relationship, not by the woman's personality.



That'll be 5 cents please.

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
01/02/2005 08:58 PM

You are really just an arrogant prick.



Eventully, you are going to hurt the "large" girl. Your little "conundrum " involves the lives of two other people and all your worried about is vanity

HRH BobJohnson 178,045 22
01/02/2005 09:21 PM

It's very likely that your friends will think less of you if you date someone less hot. It is equally likely that they will think less of you if they ever find out your reason for not dating the larger woman. However, the opinions of people other than me rarely matter.



So put your love life on hold until I decide to tell you what to do.

millie 116,988 28
01/02/2005 09:47 PM

Boots, you are assuming a lot. The chunky girl may or may not be needy, and the hot girl may be totally insecure. Looks are no indication of a person's confidence.



Maybe the heavier girl is totally confident and maybe she is interested in Zaph. But, if she knew what a shallow prick he is, she would not want him.



And if his "hot" girlfriend knew he was checking out other women, she wouldn't want him, either.



Neither of them probably would want him if they knew that he picks his girlfriends based on what other people see, not what he really wants.

Fluro 14,139 11
01/03/2005 06:39 AM

I agree with boots. the fatty is making you feel better because she needs some source of Coleridge.

Phuc 237,919 21
01/03/2005 10:55 AM

Stay with the bitchy hot chick, please. Do the nice woman a favor and let her find someone who actually finds her attractive even if she has a few pounds on her.



Hey, now--let's not get too hasty here! We men are not as shallow and judgemental as you ladies and queerz are making us out to be.



Zaph, just how fat is this girl?



What famous person does she most resemble? If she's "Bridget Jones" chunky (which I wouldn't even consider chunky in any way whatsoever), ditch the bitch and grab onto both handles for the ride of a lifetime--and be thankful every day that a nice girl ever found interest in a guy who's into Hitchhiker's Guide.



If she's "Leonardo DiCaprio's Mom from 'Gilbert Grape'" chunky, stick with the damaged goods. Fat ain't just aesthetics after a certain point on the scale--it affects health, bedspace, accessibility, and the way those people eat is a bigger turn off than the thought of Lila in a bikini.

Vanilla Dew- Jane's new pet n00b 891 10
01/03/2005 05:29 PM

<action>loses faith in humanity</action>



If you don't have much in common with the current girl and you're afraid to be with the other one because of what people will think, you really shouldn't be with either.

Pubah teh Incurable Rheumanitc 56,805 18
01/03/2005 05:39 PM

Big girls 'do it' better.



cause they HAVE to!



Stick with the chunky one...you won't be sorry.

My name is Yoshimi. I'm a black belt in karate. 173,958 15
01/03/2005 06:20 PM

And there's another reason I love Vanilla Ice.

Dr Apple 450 8
01/03/2005 06:22 PM

Dump the hot bitchy one. Then if she goes crazy and tries to kill you, you can hide behind the fat one til the police arrive.