Daggy 86,705 14
01/14/2005 04:06 AM

I don't know what the opposite of me is.





Good lord, I'm speechless!

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/14/2005 04:06 AM

I could totally make it if GAB went down for a few days even.

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
01/14/2005 04:09 AM

I'm actually a calm, level-headed, pizza-is-for-eating kind of guy.



And I don't do drugs.

Daggy 86,705 14
01/14/2005 04:13 AM

Okay! I'm a.... wait no.







Okay, I'm a really tall flat chested blonde chick who is single and has no kids.







Wow. I'm hot!

larkknot 3,359 10
01/14/2005 04:15 AM

Opposite of Daggy: Sober!

Napkin: Calvin is the clean George Carlin 30,762 12
01/14/2005 04:15 AM

LOL! OMFG! LIEK I LOVE GAEB ITSSO FUNNI! LLOL!11





Ow.

Livewire 78,229 13
01/14/2005 04:15 AM

Boy, posting things sure is a hassle. I wish the Zug server would go down again.

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
01/14/2005 04:17 AM

I really wish we could do away with all the scat humor, and that boob page has got to go. How indecent!

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/14/2005 04:18 AM

Daggy I was going to ask you how your recent purchases have been on Ebay.

After thinking about it, I realized you are sooo not the type that would get caught up in that Shakespeare, so I dropped it.

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
01/14/2005 04:18 AM

I mean, posting naked pictures on the internet? Come on! How disgusting.

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/14/2005 04:20 AM

I have to say, I'm with Al on the boob issue.

Daggy 86,705 14
01/14/2005 04:26 AM

Today I received the MOST KICKARSE WATCH in the entire Universe!

Declan McManus 131,874 36
01/14/2005 04:32 AM

There aren't enough slutty heterosexual women here.

Livewire 78,229 13
01/14/2005 04:36 AM

Hah. Declan, you're such a stereotypical male. Always thinking about Poe, Poe, Poe.

Declan McManus 131,874 36
01/14/2005 04:40 AM

Me ow ?

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
01/14/2005 06:45 AM

I love my job! I just got a raise at work! Twice! For showing my boobs! I loved it! And I'll do it again!

Sarin 699 11
01/14/2005 07:20 AM

Insert long random post about nothing regarding the thread in peticular, and actaully talking about somebody's penis who I don't know, with lots of LOL's and Rolflamocopters.

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
01/14/2005 08:05 AM

STFU n00b.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
01/14/2005 08:48 AM

I quit drinking, it was taking me nowhere.



Does anybody need a hug?

20 Chickens 286,527 61
01/14/2005 09:32 AM

I'm not the leist bit hungover this morning after the pre-cruise party last night.



(ow)

Dead Robot 67,630 16
01/14/2005 09:34 AM

How does one do the opposite of bi-polar?

Dead Robot 67,630 16
01/14/2005 09:35 AM

I meant that for all of you.



Actually I meant me.





No, in hindsight, you Frosts.





mmmmaybe.

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/14/2005 09:35 AM

poooop!



hyuck hyuck hyuck!

TableTopJane - now with Cyclops power 173,958 15
01/14/2005 09:36 AM

Dead Robot, you don't. Although, for the sake of GAB, I'm not going to take my lithium today so we can all find out what happens.

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/14/2005 09:41 AM

now with Cyclops power



did your daughter lose an eye now, too?

TableTopJane - now with Cyclops power 173,958 15
01/14/2005 09:44 AM

No, my glasses are broken. I onnly have one half of them, so I can only see out of one eye.

Fratberry 282,931 53
01/14/2005 09:45 AM

<action>flails arms all about</action>

Hey everybody, look here! I'm the opposite of me!

Fratberry 282,931 53
01/14/2005 09:47 AM

<action>hopes Jane's kid doesn't get jealous of his awesome arms flailing action</action>

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/14/2005 09:50 AM

I lost my glasses last winter digging one of our office vans out of a snow drift in a blizzard, but I found them a week later after we had some melting. They had been snowplowed for about 50 feet or so, but they were fine. Of course I had allready gone through the trouble of getting a new scrip' and a new pair, but insert funny punchline here!

TableTopJane - now with Cyclops power 173,958 15
01/14/2005 09:57 AM

Funny punchline here.

Phuc 237,919 21
01/14/2005 09:58 AM

My subservient wife, spanked child and I are taking our vacation this year to sunny Texas--where else? I sure wish I could enjoy that dee-licious beef barbecue :) but since we're vegans, I guess we'll be sticking to grilled seitan, praise Jesus!

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
01/14/2005 09:59 AM

Note to self: tattoo "funny punchline" on penis.

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/14/2005 10:03 AM

Be gone, SEITAN!

Hammerhead 59,399 14
01/14/2005 10:05 AM

Note to self: Never, ever, ever experience the pain of getting a tattoo on penis.

turtle10 42,578 26
01/14/2005 10:07 AM

where is that dur I'm a fish guy? I miss him. He was funny

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/14/2005 10:07 AM

he didn't say he was gonna tattoo it on his penis.

Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
01/14/2005 10:15 AM

<action> pops out of locker</action>Anyone up for some Barth's Burgers?

SpecialKake 55,555 14
01/14/2005 10:19 AM

Uh, I'd post something here, but I gotta run to church.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
01/14/2005 10:19 AM

I am a queer, Jewish little boy!

Whistler P. McManus 186,021 44
01/14/2005 10:49 AM

Can sombodie tell me wear the praze Jesus for Bush meeting is at? I cud probly pick up some girls the cheet on my wife with their.

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/14/2005 11:03 AM

You people should really stop slamming the Christians and the Jews, you know.





After all they just want the freedom to quietly practice their religion. They don't try to impose their beliefs on you, we should respect that.

Sexual Harassment Panda 181,783 70
01/14/2005 11:08 AM

So, does anybody want to see my books?

turtle10 42,578 26
01/14/2005 11:20 AM

<action> is tricked again by Allasdair </action>



I don't know, but i could sure use some water.

yeknaB 70,843 10
01/14/2005 11:23 AM

dogs suck.

SpecialKake 55,555 14
01/14/2005 11:25 AM

Ah, Alanis Morrisette before she got all whiny. She still looked like a lez, though.

Mr. Bruce Winn 38,843 10
01/14/2005 11:30 AM

<action> is Briham's alter ego</action>

hey every1. I r new here u guys r so unfunny!!11 i r tall and blond and love health food.

Sexual Harassment Panda 181,783 70
01/14/2005 11:30 AM

Look guys, I'd love to stick around and chat, but I sure have a lot of really riveting filing and other secretary type duties to do, which are so rewarding and enriching that I'm going to log off now.

BobJohnson, President of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
01/14/2005 01:33 PM

Can you guys take your obscure political threads to HOB, please? I would rather talk about how cool non-colorful shirts are. And send that unfunny bastard Chi-Chi there too.

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
01/14/2005 01:35 PM

I'm surprised DR's post wasn't more like "I just got back from donating blood with my super hot pregnant wife."

evreet, formerly Sy the Photo Guy 6,547 10
01/14/2005 01:48 PM

Hey, Phuc!



"Welcome to Texas, glad that you came down,

you've got lots of friends here, take a look around.

They come from California, they come from Ohio,

they come from Minnesota to get out of the snow.



You don't like our drivin', you don't like our roads,

you make fun of the way we talk, make fun of our clothes,

but you clog up our highways, been pourin' in for years;

if you don't like the way we do it, what are you doin' here?



CHORUS:

Welcome to Texas, don't anybody get me wrong;

we're glad y'all came to see us, just don't forget to go back home.



We don't need your politics, we don't need your prayers,

we don't need your moral compass leadin' us anywhere.

We don't need your business, we don't need your art,

we don't really give a damn how you did things up north.



REPEAT CHORUS



You gripe about our music, gripe about our food,

gripe about the weather here, say it's way too hot for you.

We hear all your whinin', and it starts wearin' thin

when we see our milk and honey runnin' down your chin.



So come on down to Texas, have yourself a ball,

take the kids to Six Flags, and the wife out to the mall.

Have a good vacation, but then don't hesitate

to point your car back up the road to that outbound interstate."



"Welcome To Texas" by Brian Burns

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
01/14/2005 05:02 PM

I'm wearing pants.

Fluorescent Sombrero - You got Tubgoatse'd! 91,274 10
01/14/2005 05:06 PM

I have a normal penis and everyone likes me.

Captain Dan's Sea Legs 44,452 11
01/14/2005 05:09 PM

Gab enjoys the diverse contributions of new posters such as myself.

millie 116,988 28
01/14/2005 05:09 PM

I love life. I look forward to every day and leap out of bed with a smile on my face.



I'm tall, blonde, thin and have a great-paying, rewarding job.



God, how I love all of you, and all humanity!



Life is GREAT!

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
01/14/2005 05:26 PM

Chickens post: I am volunteering for the Clinton/Obama presidential campaign in 2008. And mmmm mmmm, this Vegan diet is great!

MaddMatt -Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
01/14/2005 05:33 PM

Another dull and pointless thread by Livewire.



I wish he would just go away.



I miss Dur..

TableTopJane - now with Cyclops power 173,958 15
01/14/2005 05:37 PM

I was totally expecting my dad to post something along the lines of "I think BobJohnson is awesome."

THGLASS 1138 25,340 11
01/14/2005 05:42 PM

I can construct well-intentioned and grammatically accurate sentences without relying on the shock and awe technique of abstract chaos.

THGLASS 1138 25,340 11
01/14/2005 05:51 PM

TWIZZLERS Frost-ing SUCK!

TableTopJane - now with Cyclops power 173,958 15
01/14/2005 05:53 PM

I have a very healthy sex life. In fact, I think I have sex too much.

BobJohnson, President of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
01/14/2005 06:24 PM

I think I will skip curling after work tonight and drink a non-alcoholic beverage.

BobJohnson, President of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
01/14/2005 06:26 PM

"Go Earth!"

Miracles 22,430 0
01/14/2005 06:27 PM

I would NEVER have intercourse with another GABber.

Everett, a.k.a. Sy the Photo Guy 6,547 10
01/14/2005 06:39 PM

I was totally expecting my dad to post something along the lines of "I think BobJohnson is awesome."



I thought about it, Janey, but I figured Fratberry would get too turned on, so I didn't...

Futuristic Filly 39,193 20
01/14/2005 09:18 PM

I'm ridiculously stingy with the clickies. Hate giving them out! And I like to give lots of mahas, too.

Fratberry 282,931 53
01/14/2005 10:08 PM

Fratberry would get too turned on



You say that like its a bad thing.

The High Priestess of Stewie 58,884 29
01/14/2005 10:48 PM

I just love Cuban people! I think that their culture, personalities, and vibrant way of life are amazing! I welcome with open arms all Cuban people to America! In fact, I've decided to make my first lanuguge Spanish and change my name to Conchita!

The High Priestess of Stewie 58,884 29
01/14/2005 10:53 PM

I am thinking about denoucing my entire Irish-German heratige and forsakeing the life of the gringo. I am going to get dangerously tan, wear lots of cheap gold jewlery I get out of a gumball machein, snap my gum sickeningly and play loud spanish music!

HeadlineNews 367 9
01/14/2005 10:59 PM

but i dont know to to say funny things..

Captain Dan's Sea Legs 44,452 11
01/14/2005 11:00 PM

This thread is still funny

Futuristic Filly 39,193 20
01/14/2005 11:09 PM

I'm thinking Priestess needs to work on English first...

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
01/14/2005 11:36 PM

<action> pours some A1 on Filly and runs off with the A2.</action>

HighSoci 30,093 18
01/14/2005 11:49 PM

Woah I totally missed this thread. Guess I was too busy taking the kid to her mother.

Livewire 78,229 13
01/15/2005 04:55 AM

I think maybe I was a little too hard on Miracles in the other thread. I would like to apologize for what I said. I didn't think my post through before I submitted it. I am truly, deeply sorry for any offence I may have caused. I hope that my unprovoked attack will not drive you away. Nothing would give me greater joy than to see you start new threads every day. I find your posts insightful, well-thought-out, and inspiring. I treasure each and every one.

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/15/2005 05:03 AM

You Suck!

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/15/2005 05:06 AM

I find your posts insightful, well-thought-out, and inspiring.

and her personal hygiene is above reproach.

Livewire 78,229 13
01/15/2005 05:13 AM

</opposite>

(in the dictionary, perhaps.)

<opposite>

The Chocolaty Snork 45,655 12
01/15/2005 07:31 AM

Anyone hear the new Eminem CD? Man, it was deep. Deeper than most songs done by Linkin park, even.

Lunchbox 14,650 10
01/15/2005 06:47 PM

my butt is only for pooping.

WickedWedgieWoman 15,741 12
01/15/2005 06:59 PM

It took me a long time to post in this thread because I was busy taking my kids to church and teaching them the evils of drugs and alcohol.



We listened to Carly simon on the radio on the way and stopped to help the fat lady who fell.



We wouldn't have even tought to make fun of her!

Roofie the Wonder Coon 56,688 10
01/15/2005 11:16 PM

I'm sorry I was unable to post here earlier. I had a small crisis where I hadn't done my laundry and had no clothes to wear. Of course, I couldn't bring myself to post on GAB while not wearing clothes. It's one thing to be naked under the covers in the dark if you're planing on procreating, but other than that I don't see the point in being naked on purpose.

Sylvester 4,465 9
01/17/2005 05:21 AM

Let's see



I will play My Heart Will Go On 24-7 and stop flirting with redheads, and marry a blonde.



If that isn't what hell is like, I don't know what comes close.

greyskies 25 8
01/17/2005 08:26 AM

I'm now a fat woman, named Michelle, with (what the hell is opposite of brown?) green hair? Also, I'm very, very, very, very, very, very ugly.

Pomegranate 220 8
01/17/2005 08:55 AM

I'm a tall, thin, black man with peroxide blonde hair and five children who recently suffered from testicular cancer and therefore now owns a big, beautiful set of bountiful boobies.