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Napoleon Dynamite
A comedy conversation by The Mofo! | 01/18/2005 05:22 AM | 293 views
Apparently this movie is the biggest thing with the younger age groups.... everybody keeps asking me if I've seen it and I always have to tell them "no". They always make these quotes from it and then laugh their little asses off and I just sit and stare at them because I frankly haven't a clue what they're talking about. People worship this film which I can only conclude is a cinematic abomination consistent with the crap that Hollywood churns out en masse.



People make my life miserable always staring at me with bewilderment and sometimes contempt over the fact that I haven't seen it. So, to add to their perplexment, frustration, and befuddlement, I have purchased a copy of "Napoleon Dynamite"... but I refuse to watch it let alone remove the plastic wrapping... because I know nothing will piss these morons off more than me treating this movie like it's not worth even taking out of its case to play.



This is just the type of stuff I love to do to screw with idiots... It's a sick game, and I know it's very small (and psychotic) of me to treat people and their movie choices like ostrich exrement not worthy of being in the same plane of existance as myself, but this is my pathetic life and this is the way I choose to live it. Three cheers for bitter elitism!

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Hilarious 7 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116276
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81 Comments (Funniest: Roofie Raccoon,Spicey McHaggis,Virnomine)

Hilarious 18 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116277
HighSoci
01/18/2005 05:23 AM

I think it would have been better if it was "Napoleon Blownapart"



Hilarious 22 votes 4.9 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116279
Roofie Raccoon
01/18/2005 05:25 AM

Some day someone is going to poke you in the bum in a way that you don't like.



Hilarious 10 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116280
newwave
01/18/2005 05:25 AM

Freakin' idiot!



Hilarious 6 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116282
The Mofo!
01/18/2005 05:27 AM

<action> pats High Soci on the back </action>



Way to stand on my shoulders for clickies, you little vulture :)



Funny 4 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116285
The Mofo!
01/18/2005 05:28 AM

Roofie, your coon has enormous

























ears



Hilarious 17 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116286
Sideburns Felipe
01/18/2005 05:28 AM

Wow, every word of your post is wrong. Too bad it was a lengthy post. Napoleon Dynamite is one of my favorite movies, it's nothing like the en masse Hollywood crap. It's really good, and I now judge people based on their opinion on the film. Because I'm shallow.



Funny 5 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116288
Roofie Raccoon
01/18/2005 05:30 AM

Roofie, your coon has enormous

...

ears




And a long nose. I know.



Hilarious 19 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116289
Gabosaurus Rex
01/18/2005 05:30 AM

So the unwrapped movie perplexes them how? Do you wear it around your neck as a coversation starter? And if you're not carrying it around with you, wouldn't the morons have to be at your house to see that you have it?



Hilarious 17 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116291
Dianada
01/18/2005 05:31 AM

Mofo, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.



Amusing 2 votes 1.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116293
The Mofo!
01/18/2005 05:34 AM

Wait, you're saying that this movie is actually good and not mindless crap? But how can that be? Can a nation that would elect Dubya to the presidency (once, not twice) truly appreciate a good, artistic movie? Maybe I should watch it... I just never thought that a decent movie could be appreciated by the masses they way this one has been.



I trust in the disco ninja's wisdom... I might yet watch this flick...



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116294
Flirtatious Filly
01/18/2005 05:37 AM

I didn't like the movie. Thought it was stupid. Ah well!



Hilarious 7 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116295
Sideburns Felipe
01/18/2005 05:37 AM

It appeals to me, because Napoleon is identifiable to anyone who was an awkward social outcast at some point. Which I guesstimate accounts for 97% of GAB's population.



Hilarious 26 votes 4.9 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116297
Gabosaurus Rex
01/18/2005 05:39 AM

The other 3% being Bob Johnson. He's so awesome he's three whole percent all by himself!



Funny 4 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116299
Roofie Raccoon
01/18/2005 05:40 AM

Chi Chi, your words hurt, man. Deep.



Hilarious 6 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116300
Captain Dan's Sea Legs
01/18/2005 05:40 AM

Bob Johnson is like high fat milk!



Hilarious 7 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116301
Sideburns Felipe
01/18/2005 05:41 AM

<action>scratches Filly off the "Cool Kids" list.</action>



Funny 4 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116302
The Mofo!
01/18/2005 05:42 AM

It appeals to me, because Napoleon is identifiable to anyone who was an awkward social outcast at some point. Which I guesstimate accounts for 97% of GAB's population.



Which means I'm not going to get any clickies for this one... Shakespeare.



But then why do the Hollister-wearing, Lil' Jon-quoting egocentric people like this movie? I am confused... are the socio-intellectual borders deteriorating!?! How will I know who to hate!?!



Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116303
Flirtatious Filly
01/18/2005 05:46 AM

Sideburns Felipe scratches Filly off the "Cool Kids" list.



Aww, I was on the "cool kids" list? How sweet! If it makes you feel any better, Chi-chi, I usually love stupid movies. For some reason Napoleon just didn't do it for me.



Hilarious 16 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116308
erika the little drummer girl
01/18/2005 05:56 AM

Sorry I'm late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys.





Anyway, that movie is flippin' sweet.



Hilarious 9 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116317
THGLASS 1138
01/18/2005 06:04 AM

BobJohnson is the opiate of the masses.



Hilarious 10 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116318
Captain Dan's Sea Legs
01/18/2005 06:06 AM

Mr. Glass is the opiate of the asses



Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116320
The Mofo!
01/18/2005 06:09 AM

Oh.. and I can't tell you JUST HOW HILLARIOS DAVE LETTERMAN IS.... yank yank...



Hilarious 1 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116324
Zaphod Beeblebrox
01/18/2005 06:16 AM

I won't watch this movie either.



Why would I want to watch a movie that seems to be about the kid I used to beat up in high school?



Hilarious 13 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116337
Whistler P. McManus
01/18/2005 06:58 AM

I will see this movie if and when Puggy tells me to see it.



Hilarious 8 votes 4.1 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116345
Frogpop
01/18/2005 07:13 AM

I will see this movie if and when Puggy tells me how stupid he thinks it is.



Hilarious 9 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116388
TableTopJane...look closer
01/18/2005 12:19 PM

Can a nation that would elect Dubya to the presidency (once, not twice) truly appreciate a good, artistic movie?



Technically, to be fair, we only elected him once.



Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116389
Phla Mignon
01/18/2005 12:27 PM

<action>snickers</action>



Hilarious 16 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116390
Phla Mignon
01/18/2005 12:32 PM

<action>3 musketeers</action>



Funny 4 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116416
No Jive 2005 Lila
01/18/2005 01:25 PM

3! Noses?!



Hilarious 16 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116417
No Jive 2005 Lila
01/18/2005 01:28 PM

Oh, and if you refuse to watch a movie based on nothing more than your floundering comparison of it to the election (WTF?) then you totally deserve to miss out on a guy getting knocked off his bike by a steak.



Hilarious 7 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116438
PuggyD
01/18/2005 02:51 PM

Whistler, you gotta see this movie! It's the stupidest movie ever, Frogpop!



Funny 3 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116440
Trixxie
01/18/2005 02:53 PM

I thought it was a potatoe?



Hilarious 15 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116441
PuggyD
01/18/2005 02:54 PM

Your mom goes to college.



Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116443
Aimless Succulicious divorce’
01/18/2005 02:57 PM

That movie was the longest 15 minutes of my life. Thank god I fell asleep and didn't have to endure the whole thing.



Hilarious 7 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116458
PuggyD
01/18/2005 03:15 PM

Seriously, though, if you haven't seen the movie by now, just skip it, because there's no way it's going to live up to the hype. It's good, but not *great*, and it is kind of slow moving. If you seriously already bought the damn movie, though, then watch it and stop bragging about how good you are at wasting money on non-functional taunt-centric objects, bitch.



Funny 3 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116475
SpecialKake
01/18/2005 03:39 PM

I thought the movie was freakin sweet, but it's one of those movies that only 1/2 of the population gets or can relate to.





Are you going to eat your tots?



Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116477
SpecialKake
01/18/2005 03:40 PM

I should also mention that I smoke a lot of marijuana.



Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116604
dropkick brody
01/18/2005 06:37 PM

<action< stamps foot </action> I really wanna see it! It looks like my kind of movie, with the quote-ability and the physical gags.



But none of my friends want to see it, so I'll wait until the DVD.



Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116608
dropkick brody
01/18/2005 06:43 PM

The ONE time I don't preview.



Someone up there mustn't like me.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116611
Professor Nutbutter
01/18/2005 07:48 PM

I thought it was pretty good. Goofy in a funny way. I didn't think it was the best movie ever or anything though. I'm glad I saw it and I'd see it again.



ChiChi, do you know the illegal ninja moves from the government?



Funny 3 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116627
MaddMatt -Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet
01/18/2005 08:09 PM

10sec. Napolean Dynamite;



Begins - Interesting - Ackward - Uncomfortable - cute - Ackward - Uncomfortable - Cute - Ackward - End.



Hilarious 9 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116636
DemoMonkey. Period.
01/18/2005 08:18 PM

On a similar note, I think it would drive all those assinine car jocks absolutely insane if Mofo were to buy a Ferrari, and then show his absolute contempt for it by not only not driving it, but actually sending it to a complete stranger in Mississauga.





  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116732
Rob Borer
01/19/2005 03:29 AM

While I thought that N.D. was a good movie, alas, it has fallen down into the same old over-quoted Shakespeare that all the [popular] funny becomes.



-Austin Powers

-Chappelle's show

-Saturday Night Live (not SNL - yes there's a difference)

-Simpson's (before it became "Homer's stupid. That's funny. Season complete.")

-Family Guy

-Adam Sandler anything

-There are a million more



Right now, I hate anyone who quotes N.D.

I have no friends.



Hilarious 17 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116736
erika the little drummer girl
01/19/2005 03:37 AM

<action> decides to be contrary



Rob, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day.



Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116740
Rob Borer
01/19/2005 03:47 AM

I realize why people quote movies.

It's like an inside joke - everyone who understands it feels like they are part of something special, and that makes them feel important.



In all actuality, you and your nerd friends are just lame.



Hilarious 14 votes 4.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116742
Sideburns Felipe
01/19/2005 03:49 AM

U R LAMEZ0R



Chuckleworthy 4 votes 2.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116748
Rob Borer
01/19/2005 04:01 AM

While we're throwing insults:



<whispers to self>

-is a ninja

-likes anime

-good at DDR and arithmatic

-straight black hair/squinty eyes

-gay cats

< /whisper >



CHEAP ASS JEW!



Funny 3 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1116781
Gabosaurus Rex
01/19/2005 05:16 AM

-good at DDR and arithmatic





But not ritin'.



Hilarious 11 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1117128
newwave
01/19/2005 06:16 PM

If you're referring to your penis, I think I speak for the GAB collective when I say that I agree.



Hilarious 10 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1117136
Oliver Chest
01/19/2005 06:22 PM

Sorry I missed this thread. I've been in Alaska hunting wolverines with my Uncle.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1117145
superkat
01/19/2005 07:05 PM

I haven't actually seen the movie, but I do know that Napoleon has Asperger's Syndrome.



Funny 4 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1142169
(mofo)e4.219 = (wacko)^3
02/27/2005 05:43 AM

UPDATE: I saw it. Not good. I had another rant about it somewhere. It doesn't suck but it's not nearly good enough for the following it has. NOW WHOT THE HELL BROUGHT THIS THREAD BACK UP!?! May God bestow on you many intestinal infections.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1142296
Whistler P. McManus
02/27/2005 07:53 AM

Asperger's Syndrome, also known as Asperger's Disorder or Autistic Psychopathy, is a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) characterized by severe and sustained impairment in social interaction, development of restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, and activities. These characteristics result in clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.



Okay, so Napoleon has Asperger's Syndrome. From that definition, so do about 94% of GABbers.



Your point was...?





Hilarious 6 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1142299
Whistler P. McManus
02/27/2005 07:56 AM

Now gimme some of your tots.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1142372
Dweezil Meniketti
02/27/2005 02:31 PM

Two guys at work keep quoting the movie. One of them says the movie is horrible to watch but the quotes make it worth it. It took him 3 days to get through it because that's all the more he can stand to watch it in one sitting.



If it takes three days to sit through a movie, I don't want to see it.



Hilarious 9 votes 4.9 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1142379
Spicey McHaggis
02/27/2005 03:37 PM

Some people think Napoleon Dynamite sucked, while others think it was awesome. I'm sure there are plenty of people who are ambivalent about it, but they don't care enough to mention it.



I liked the movie quite a bit. It was impossible for me to not like it. The farmer blew the friggin' cow's brains out right in front of a busload of kids! How could the movie not be awesome with a scene like that?



Hilarious 3 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1142386
Delicious Lesbian Sea Turtle
02/27/2005 04:33 PM

<action> pets her Liger because everyone knows Tigons are dumb and smell like poo.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1142390
Underwhere?
02/27/2005 05:05 PM

Spicey, I <3 you right now.



Hilarious 7 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1142391
Spicey McHaggis
02/27/2005 05:11 PM

It's because of my nunchuck skills, isn't it?



Hilarious 7 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1142395
Underwhere?
02/27/2005 05:26 PM

Of course. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.



We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom.

Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make me salivate.

I love technology, but not as much as you, you see.

But I STILL love technology.

Always and forever.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1142407
millie
02/27/2005 07:06 PM

<action>didn't see the movie</action>

My nephew has Asperger's Syndrome.



Sometimes it's funny because he has no social skills and says rude things to people he doesn't know with a straight face.



Most of the time, it's tiresome, because he goes on and on about his obsession du jour. If you try to interrupt him, he just pauses, and then continues on with his monologue.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1148748
Napoleon DynaChickens
03/09/2005 10:17 AM

Was this the worst movie ever? Probably. Did it have spikes of pure comedy gold? Si Senor. Did I have the feeling I was watching a really funny train wreck where for the sake of all that's holy you should avert your eyes and burn your dvd player but just cannot because you can't stop gigging? Do you fear for the future of a country that would release a film this bad. Of course. Have you found your new superhero name? Freakin YEAH.



  2 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1194973
HighSoci
05/11/2005 12:31 AM

I really didn't want to bump this thread, but I watched this movie finally yesterday and all I have to say is that it was the biggest waste of an hour and a half of my life that I will never get back. This movie wasn't dumb, it wasn't crazy, and it wasn't even stupid. It was just plain retarded. I never laughed at any part and only somewhat begin to smile at the part with the "time machine." I will have to put all the blame on Puggy for this one. After reading a lot of the posts above and seeing how some of you thought this movie was hilarious, I now don't feel even somewhat upset that you don't find me funny because if you think this movie was funny or even the least bit entertaining, you wouldn't know funny if it flew off a monkey's ass and hit you between the eyes. That is all.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1194975
Dogs Akimbo
05/11/2005 12:43 AM

I haven't seen this movie, but should I even waste money on renting it?



Someone told me that the movie could be summarized as:



Not funny part

Not funny part

Not funny part

Not funny part

Not funny part

Not funny part

Not funny part

Not funny part

Not funny part

Not funny part

Not funny part

Not funny part

Some dumbass dances likes a retard

Not funny part

Not funny part



I promise that any money saved on not renting it will be used on vodka.





Hilarious 7 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1194977
Chi Chi Don Felipe
05/11/2005 12:54 AM

I judge people based on whether or not they like the movie. People who like it fall into the "Awesome" category in all other categories of their lives. People who hated it fall into the "HighSoci" category, to which you may draw your own conclusions.



Hilarious 6 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1194986
Whistler P. McManus
05/11/2005 01:19 AM

Napoleon Dynamite was about infinity times better than a High Soci post.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1194992
The Mofopotamus
05/11/2005 01:41 AM

I didn't like the movie when I saw it... I frost-ing hate it now because...

1) People worship it.

2) This thread.

3) I associate it with somebody (in REAL life) that I hate now.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195053
Tinker to Evers to Chickens
05/11/2005 01:44 PM

Okay, the movie had some bright moments when I saw it late one night, but the punchyness might have added to it.



But one of my daughter's friends lended it to her and the kids have now seen it.



And quoteing it.



Endlessly.



Kill me.



Hilarious 9 votes 4.9 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195060
Virnomine
05/11/2005 01:51 PM

Again?



Funny 2 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195087
DemoMonkey, Unplugged!
05/11/2005 02:46 PM

Anyone whose opinion on any form of art or media is determined, even remotely, by whether anyone else like or dislikes it, is a sheep.



And since you read this statement on the internet, that makes it true, and you have to agree with it.



The internet.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195093
Tinker to Evers to Chickens
05/11/2005 02:55 PM

All the cool kidz say interweb.



Hilarious 4 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195100
DemoMonkey, Unplugged!
05/11/2005 03:01 PM

I wasn't cool even when saying "cool", was.



Funny 2 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195101
Tinker to Evers to Chickens
05/11/2005 03:01 PM

sorry, kewl



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195129
Refulgent Bandana
05/11/2005 03:55 PM

Demo, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195135
Erotic Kake
05/11/2005 04:07 PM

Refulgent Bandana





I got 20 bucks that if you look in someone's browser history, you'll find "thesaurus.com" in there somewhere (between analsluts.com and manlove.org)



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195141
Ditdah - 66 days away
05/11/2005 04:08 PM

Hey - I'll admit I don't know what it means, other than by assumtion.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195142
Refulgent Bandana
05/11/2005 04:09 PM

No Shakespeare, Kake.



I've got it quick-linked, I see no shame in it.



Funny 2 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195143
Sharribarri
05/11/2005 04:09 PM

My lips hurt. Can someone bring me my chapstick?



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195145
Ditdah - 66 days away
05/11/2005 04:10 PM

I shouldn't even try and spell.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195147
Big Irish Guy
05/11/2005 04:11 PM

I always liked Speak N Spell better anyway.



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1195148
dropkick brody
05/11/2005 04:11 PM

I SAW IT! (bought it the day it came out on DVD)



Personally I thought it was orgasmic, it's about time we had another cult, wayne's world-esque movie.



To be an annoying quote nerd for a second...



It's pretty sweet...

It's, awesome...

It's, it's incredible...


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