superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 10:58 PM

Subject: RE: GAB on ZUG

>

>

>>i do have some questions(and concerns)

>>

>>if you would look at the threads people have been speaking of,

>>there was a high level of harassment by gabbers that i did nothing

>>to bring about. for days this went on, and i finally began stepping

>>in and posting to please let the situation die out. this led to

>>further harassment. which finally led to my retaliation.

>>

>>john. i have no problem with you issuing this warning to me, as i

>>said some harsh things. however, this series of posts in question

>>was not in the slightest instigated by me. it appears to be more

>>of your fellow gabbers dishing out what they can't chew. if your

>>gabbers see it fit to harass and taunt another for an extended

>>period of time, backlash should be expected.

>>

>>i refuse to take responsibility for the result of that those same

>>who complained to you not wanting to hear a response to their

>>harassment. therefore, i suggest you look at the escalation of

>>these threads in question and see where the negligent party lies.

>>you will see it is not in me.

>>

>>i would ask in response to this that it be fair to in turn warn

>>those accusing me, or to make a thread regarding the fact that

>>gabbers should be expected to get back what they serve up. because

>>if you are expecting me to uphold standards you will not ask of

>>everyone, it is you who is not siding with free speech.

>>

Nerd, Comma. 27,000 12
01/19/2005 11:00 PM

Case in point: Real life sucks.

larkknot 3,359 10
01/19/2005 11:00 PM

Turky, shut up. You're being an ass. Get some counseling, get over Miracles, and get back to being funny. Good luck!

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:01 PM

now in light of this, i simply ask you all to stop being bitches, and take what you dish out.



don't like it? joke.



can't take a response?



shut the Frost up, you whiney ass little bitch punk ass loser faggot.



do not bitch about a response if you can't take it, don't post.

Nerd, Comma. 27,000 12
01/19/2005 11:02 PM

get back to being funny





?

I'm confused.

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
01/19/2005 11:03 PM

You forgot the part about sending this to 10 of your friends or a piano will fall on your head while your computer is being hacked.

Daggy Benedict 86,705 14
01/19/2005 11:03 PM

WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN????

Nerd, Comma. 27,000 12
01/19/2005 11:04 PM

Pedophiles?

larkknot 3,359 10
01/19/2005 11:05 PM

There was one point where I kind of thought some of the things he said were funny. Now he's not being funny, just lashing out in pain. How sad.

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:05 PM

lark, learn how to lurk. as point proven, you are not funny. learn to be funny before you talk about the other peoples funny.



i believe i logged your funny record in one post before.

so, i conclude:



who are you?



and where did you stick my parrot? no pocket is that big.

SpecialKake 55,555 14
01/19/2005 11:07 PM

Ah, I see someone finally figured out how to splice an AOL chatroom with Gab.





A/S/L?

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/19/2005 11:09 PM

Do you complain this much to your family and friends about the same topic, Or is it that important to you that it must stay on the internet.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/19/2005 11:09 PM

Throw a ? in there somewhere.

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 37
01/19/2005 11:10 PM

I'll have to disagree about the "hazing" period. I don't believe such a thing exists. Plenty of people have joined GAB without being harrassed. I'm one of them. There just happens to be a large proportion of "n00bs" who act more like Doofus than Dentyne*, and thus they get their asses figuratively handed to them.

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:11 PM

case in point, jeff agrees you are as funny as a blade of grass attempting to rape a pebble in the bushes.



give it up and make with the damn funny.



as i pointed out, this insult Shakespeare(esp by n00b's like lark) are not funny, and according to john are lame.



get with the Frost-ing funny program.







and finally:







'poop' is not all that funny.







anymore.

SpecialKake 55,555 14
01/19/2005 11:13 PM

POOP!







Just checking.

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:14 PM

boring funny!

Fluorescent Sombrero

1/19/2005 10:09 pm [0YH5byl7BQgbkXtbs3iZGw]



Do you complain this much to your family and friends about the same topic, Or is it that important to you that it must stay on the internet.





actually this came about by several complaints to me.



now, as i originally stated, make with the Frost-ing funny, or shut up.

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:16 PM

ok i admit it.



i was wrong.



this whole time, i was wrong.







poop is still funny!

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/19/2005 11:16 PM

You're not really super at all. Are you?

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:18 PM

no, not really.



kinda like being special, but different.



my mom and teacher told me i was special.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
01/19/2005 11:19 PM

I have to agree with Spicey. I came through just fine (and didn't catch any Shakespeare until after showing my tits, so that wasn't a factor). When people are given hell it's often because they're not trying very hard to fit into the community and usually because they are actively trying to not fit in.



Also, I know that John received complaints about Superturkey's comments from people who weren't "dishing it out" because I was one of them.



Arguing with Superturkey was and is affecting GAB.

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/19/2005 11:19 PM

You wear a helmet and drool a lot, right?

larkknot 3,359 10
01/19/2005 11:20 PM

Turky, I lurked for more than a year. I did my time. I have a few full pee tubes under my belt. You WERE funny at one point. I'd like to reiterate that. Right now, you're just in that post break-up misery period, and you are positively wallowing in it on GAB, annoying everyone else, and that is just. not. funny. Period.

larkknot 3,359 10
01/19/2005 11:20 PM

And I have nice boobs.

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/19/2005 11:22 PM

Full pee tubes for SYT's do not count.

Producer Poops Oatmeal 7,627 9
01/19/2005 11:22 PM

Two sperm are swimming along. One turns to the other and asks, "Hey, how far to the fallopian tubes?" The other replies, "Fallopian tubes? Hell, we haven't even passed the esophagus yet!"

larkknot 3,359 10
01/19/2005 11:23 PM

The tubes weren't all for the boobs Humpy... I said some funny things and did a funny photoshop in the Mufftaur thread.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/19/2005 11:24 PM

You see, Turkey, If we were all to just shut up (because there is clearly no funny in this thread) then you would have nothing to go on. Every single post you made has been a reply to someone else attempting to remind you what a douchebag you are. Do not expect me to be groin-grabbingly hilarious in a thread that began with a little cry to the teacher. The polar opposite of bitching and complaining is insults. I mean, I dont know what else to say.



Aks mah dogg, Lil John, He tell ya da same..

You be actin like a bitch

So we treat you like a bitch.



Word.

daisypie 49,378 9
01/19/2005 11:25 PM

Full pee tubes for SYT's do not count



Yes. They. Do.

Producer Poops Oatmeal 7,627 9
01/19/2005 11:26 PM

A man is lying in bed in hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young student nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.



"Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"



Embarrassed, the young student replies, "I don't know I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."



He struggles again to ask,"Nurse are my testicles black?"



Finally she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a closer look and says,"There is nothing wrong with them."



Finally the mans pulls off his oxygen mask and replies

"That is very nice but, I asked ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK?"

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/19/2005 11:27 PM

A rope walks into a bar, up to the counter and orders a beer. "Sorry" says the bartender we don't serve ropes here. So the rope heads outside, ties himself up, tassels one end and heads back inside. "One beer please bartender." "Are you a rope?" asks the bartender. "A frayed knot" says the rope.

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:29 PM

roofie,



i agree, arguing with me sucked. but i didn't start it.



i never lurked. my first post got full pee, on my first day visiting zug.



it doesn't matter if you lurked or not. what matters if you are funny or not. i did fine until i let emotions lurk into gab. people took advantage of emotions, and i took advantage of those people(in a profitable way),



now i just want to get back to bringing forth the answers to the age old unanswered questions of gab, such as why jack-in-the-box has a single french toast stick on it's menu for dinner.

The High Priestess of Stewie 58,884 29
01/19/2005 11:33 PM

Two muffins are in the oven.



One muffin turns to the other and says "Wow, it's getting hot in here."



The other muffin yells "Holy Shakespeare! A talking Muffin!"

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/19/2005 11:33 PM

<ACTION>rolling on the floor crying</action>such as why jack-in-the-box has a single french toast stick on it's menu for dinner



AHHHHahahahaha.. haha, hehehe HA!!!



Now THAT'S Frost-ing funnBLAMOOSH!!!!!11ONEELEVENTYTWO!

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:35 PM

ok, wait! i got it!



no matter what anyone says, you few are all still bitches?



i got 4 mahas in this thread. yup, must be those idiots john himself was talking about.



ok, n00bies, do you really want to keep bitching about why john is wrong? if you think so, n00bs, go away there is not a home here. where is a non noob in this thread? let me look for one. the rest of you idiots shut up and realise why noone else is posting.

Daggy Benedict 86,705 14
01/19/2005 11:36 PM

(serious post)





Turkey. If you are getting this bent out of shape and aggravated by an internet message board, you seriously need to question your reasons for being here and GET SOME HELP.







My advice to you?



Let superturkey die. Take six months off and just read, then if you still want to be a part of the madness.... invent a new persona and don't take this too seriously.

















That'll be fifty bucks thanks.

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:37 PM

stewie,



i thought it was an apple in a pie?



oh well, guess i do suck afterall.

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:38 PM

'Turkey. If you are getting this bent out of shape and aggravated by an internet message board, you seriously need to question your reasons for being here and GET SOME HELP.'



i didn't cry to john, not a peep. didn't matter to me. i just responded to people who got bent out of shape, daggs.

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/19/2005 11:39 PM

My last post had it all. Humour, suspense, action, italics, bold, upper & lower caps. I truly am the 1337 4ax0r.

The High Priestess of Stewie 58,884 29
01/19/2005 11:39 PM

Ladies and Gentelmen, let's give him a round of applause.

Toastfucker 74 9
01/19/2005 11:39 PM

Funny is subjective to your audience.. Child molestor jokes, aids jokes, polish jokes.. etc. I personally find them all funny and this forum seems to as well.

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
01/19/2005 11:41 PM

<action>is still staying out of this and will be glad to teach you your ABCs in a second. But first...</action>Being nice is nice.



IF something is funny, it will still be funny.



BUT



Things are funnier when they come from someone you like.



Things are less funny when they come from an Emerson.



Except for poop. That Shakespeare's hiLARious.

PhartSack 13,792 15
01/19/2005 11:43 PM

For Frosts sake turkey breath. I lurk lots, make a few jokes now and then, get a few clickies, stroke my self and go to bed happy.





What the Frost are you expecting from everyone? Get over it. My seven year old doesn't whine as much as you!





Why don't you leave, get a new IP address and rejoin as a normal human being.

Livewire 78,229 13
01/19/2005 11:43 PM

"Hi, I'm new here and demand immediate acceptance."



No. Stop creating new threads and post only in threads that someone else created. Do this for a few weeks. You've already dug yourself a hole, please stop digging.



1. Thou shalt honor the intelligent joke.

x You have given only 14 happy clicks. You're obviously not here for the comedy.



2. Thou shalt respect the community, remembering that there are real people on the other end of thy computer monitor.

x You've posted personal emails and IMs here, for no reason but to be hurtful.



3. Thou shalt focus on being funny, not on being mean-spirited as a substitute for being funny.

x Most of your mean-spiritedness has been directed at Miracles, but it's there and it's a matter of record.



4. Thou shalt welcome diversity: new users, new points of view.

√ Don't expect us to uphold this commandment if you can't bide by the others.



5. Thou shalt keep thine personal information to thyself, unless thou wanteth thy phone number revealed to millions of others.

x Keep the damn relationships off the internet!



6. Thou shalt not "flood" the board with thousands of useless posts, nor shalt thou "invade" other message boards.

x STOP... CREATING... THREADS!!!



7. Thou shalt not threaten or flame other members of the community.

x Take your hazing like a man, don't retaliate.



8. Thou shalt not discuss Larry King's hair. (It's just kind of creepy.)

√ Good job.



9. Thou shalt not be overly offensive.

x This privilege is reserved for Hammerhead.



10. Thou shalt not be easily offended.

goatse-sized "X" Go cry in your crack pipe.



These are the Ten Commandments of Gab, as specified in the Gab FAQ. You've broken 8 of them. You'd probably have more but you haven't been here long enough to haze noobs or discuss celebrity coiffes.

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:44 PM

and at that note, i about give up.



people complaining because john does not think these posts are funny.



give it up and make with the damn funny!



hell, it is all i asked from from day one!



if you think an empty insult to me is funny, you are a Frost-ing moron in both john, and myselves book.



just make with the damn funny, for the love of god!

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/19/2005 11:45 PM

ok, n00bies, do you really want to keep bitching about why john is wrong? if you think so, n00bs, go away there is not a home here. where is a non noob in this thread? let me look for one. the rest of you idiots shut up and realise why noone else is posting.



I started here about 6 months ago and also missing on any hazing (well maybe a little from HH but that's to be expected). Anyway, I certainly won't take any Frost-ing hazing from a pathetic, dickhead like you. So I therefore invite you to eat my crotch.

PhartSack 13,792 15
01/19/2005 11:46 PM

didn't cry to john, not a peep. didn't matter to me. i just responded to people who got bent out of shape, daggs





From: "John Hargrave" <jhargrave@zug.com>

>To: "xxxxxxxx" <.com>

>Subject: Re: GAB on ZUG

>Date: Wed, 19 Jan 2005 21:43:25 -0500

>

>xxxxxx:

>

>I understand your complaint,









Turkey, I thought you said you didn't complain to John?







lying dipShakespeare.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
01/19/2005 11:46 PM

where is a non noob in this thread? let me look for one.



You mean besides Daggy, Spicey, Nerd, High Priestess and me? (And possibly others even if I don't know it.)



Regulars represent, yo!

PhartSack 13,792 15
01/19/2005 11:47 PM

<action> goes back lurking.

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:47 PM

phartsack;



don't blame me because you are too stupid to know when to post and when not to. if you notice, now is either a time to SUYT or shut up.



as far as the rest of your posts, you should have either SUYT, or shut the Frost up.

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:50 PM

phartsack,



now is a good time to go back to lurk.



look at the times. i responded, you Frost-ing moron. and i mean that in all sincerity, i hope you get the help that the government allows you.

superturky 0 0
01/19/2005 11:52 PM

well... i tried.



i wonder how many more complaints from oldtimers i will get to john, whilst i just tried to move on.



oh well, guess noone knows what is funny anymore. sad.

Captain Dan's Sea Legs 44,452 11
01/19/2005 11:54 PM

Am I the only person who wants to tittyFrost Raccoon's icon?

Daggy Benedict 86,705 14
01/19/2005 11:55 PM

i hope you get the help that the government allows you.





You see? You're just being nasty.





You're going the wrong way down a one way street. You're going up the down escalator. You have no friends here.





GET A Frost-ing CLUE!





You're bringing the whole place down. You just don't belong here.





Stop posting. NOW.













































I MEAN IT! DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT KEYBOARD!!!

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
01/19/2005 11:56 PM

(Psst, Superturkey, you're not doing too badly in this thread at keeping it general and not personally offensive. If you can avoid starting anymore inflamatory threads like this you might find a little happiness here.)

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/19/2005 11:57 PM

Its funny when certain people drop certain other peoples names, in a vain attempt to make certain other people think that a certain individual has more power and say than that certain individual really has.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
01/19/2005 11:58 PM

But I'm not so certain.



















There. Now the word means nothing.

The High Priestess of Stewie 58,884 29
01/19/2005 11:58 PM

Am I the only person who wants to tittyFrost Raccoon's icon?



Umm, No.

Fratberry 282,931 53
01/20/2005 12:00 AM

Turkey,



1. You continually bitch and moan about how nobody here is funny and yet there's never been a time where you have contributed anything even remotely humorous. We're not here to please or appease you.



2. You say you are the one trying to let it go and yet you are still hear whining about everything. If you really want to let it go, LET IT GO. And if you can't let it go, how about just GOING.



3. I'm typing this slowly because I know you can't read fast.



4. All this talk about "I didn't instigate this" and "I didn't start this". Bitch, bitch, bitch. Who did start it? Do you think by continuing to hang around here and taking swipes at everybody else you are really going to "finiShakespeare"? And what the Frost was "it" to begin with anyway?



4. Shut the Frost up and go the Frost away.



5. Enjoy a game of Hide and Go Frost Yourself with my compliments.



6. Bob Johnson is awesome.



7. Have a nice day.



Regards,



Fratberry

daisypie 49,378 9
01/20/2005 12:14 AM

Am I the only person who wants to tittyFrost Raccoon's icon?



Umm, you just go ahead with your little cartoon fantasy...



I am sure that I am not the only person who wants to tittyFrost Roofie's icon titties!

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/20/2005 12:14 AM

Am I the only person who wants to tittyFrost Raccoon's icon?



For Capt Dan. In all her green-tittied glory!



(Sorry Roofie).

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
01/20/2005 12:24 AM

Daisypie, add a NSFW on that thing! You'll poke someone's eye out!



Humphrey, no worries, it's in my profile to show Phuc's work. And it might not be SFW either if you can't see cartoon nipples.

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/20/2005 12:27 AM

Roofies not bad, she's just drawn that way.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
01/20/2005 12:29 AM

Humphrey,



Oh yes I am.



Sincerely,

RR

Sideburns Felipe 161,353 14
01/20/2005 12:38 AM

Well, I skimmed this thread and I'd like to offer a synopsis in quote form:



"Hey you Frost-ing faggot bitches, I Frosted your mom's ass with a broken lightbulb. Choke to death on a wad of your own chunky man-chowder, you butt licking cum guzzling Frost-Shakespeares. Now, BE FUNNY OR I'LL RAPE A BABY'S ASS!"

Fratberry 282,931 53
01/20/2005 12:47 AM

</virnomine>

TableTopJane...look closer 173,958 15
01/20/2005 12:48 AM

Well, you know me. I can't help but stick my nose in where it doesn't belong. But this time I'm going to do something that's not like me. I'm going to defend Turkey.



Kind of.



I've noticed that Turkey has stopped bumping those other threads. And he's trying to do the right thing in this thread, even if he is doing it the wrong way.



Let me attempt to translate what I feel he's trying to say.



Dearest GABm



I'm wanting to drop this thing and move on. I like GAB, and I think it can be funny when people are being nice. I'd like to ask that we all let it go because it never belonged here. I have talked to John, and he agrees that it needs to be dropped and that the point of GAB is to be funny, not mean. So if you're willing to take a chance and drop this subject, I will do my very best to get back to trying to bring the funny to GAB.



Sincerly yours,

Mr. S. Turkey





Of course, he wouldn't have used the shift key, but you get the point. Turkey was wrong in what he did in those threads. But no so more than any other GABber who posted a negative comment. The truth is, none of us will know the truth about the Turkey/Miracles/TurdCutter thing. But we've all let it end up being turned into GABbers against Turkey. Hell, I did it too. But it's gotten us nowhere.

TableTopJane...look closer 173,958 15
01/20/2005 12:49 AM

One more thing-



Turkey, it seems like John is open to hearing your concerns. And it's just my opinion, but I don't think John would like you saying things like "case in point, jeff agrees you are as funny as a blade of grass attempting to rape a pebble in the bushes." We all know John wouldn't say that. He would think a blade of grass attempting to rape a pebble in the bushes was funny as hell. He just that kind of sick man.



Also, I predict that John's cause of death will be his head exploding afert one too many people call him Jeff.



John will deal with this in his own way. I'm sure that he'll think of the perfect thing to say to make us all move on. He knows how to do that-soothe us with his words of wisdom. And then he uses our moment of relaxation to rape us, but I think that's why we're all really here. For the ass raping and John's santorum.



Jesus Christ I'm a long winded rambling fool tonight.

TableTopJane...look closer 173,958 15
01/20/2005 12:52 AM

Oh, God I'm going to regret that. But I know this and I accept it.

TableTopJane...look closer 173,958 15
01/20/2005 12:56 AM

his head exploding afert one too many



You may all mock me now for my use of the french-texan word "afert". I understand most of you are not familiar with this local language and will not understand that "afert" is loosely translated into the english word "after".



Man, I really am long winded today. I'm sure a simple "Heh-afert" would have been just fine.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
01/20/2005 12:58 AM

Heh-afert.







Looks like fart.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
01/20/2005 01:00 AM

I stated that I was staying out of it. But I feel I have to say something.





Turkey, don't stick around. You've bitched for five days now that people are giving you Shakespeare. You even went and tattled to John. I'm not saying this to haze or harass you, or to give you Shakespeare. But if you don't like it here, just leave. You took your temper tantrum and used it to bump threads so people could maha you, and to bitch and moan about how we don't like you.



You even decided to attack people off board, and to lay your problems out to people who don't really know you or care.



Grow the Frost up. Leave. Miracles didn't start anything towards you, but you stuck your nose in and started Shakespeare. Get over it. You aren't as important as you think you are. And if you think that being on here and gaining exceptance from us is so special, then you're wrong. And you can't gain exceptance by bitching at us for five days.



I feel sorry for you. If you don't like it, don't stick around, it's as simple as that. Enough bickering already.

Captain Dan's Sea Legs 44,452 11
01/20/2005 01:06 AM

I less-than-three HH

superturky 0 0
01/20/2005 01:08 AM

hammer,



you stupid Frost-ing moron:



learn to read.



many tattled to me. i never did. it was you bitches that got me emailed.



so, shut up, and learn how to read.



i merely defended myself, and well, you bitches are wrong, and the fact that you still attack me without reading proves it.

Daggy Benedict 86,705 14
01/20/2005 01:08 AM

Why am I Daggy benedict?

TableTopJane...look closer 173,958 15
01/20/2005 01:09 AM

What we have all been doing is no better than what he has been doing. So what if he went to John. That's why the option is there-so people know that John cares about what goes on here. And I really doubt that not a single GABber went to John to complain about Turkey.



If Turkey leaves, hey that's great. If he stays and tries to be funny, that's fine too. But I think we're wrong if we ask him to leace because we feel he's guilty of something that many here are guilty of, too.





Side note-

I've figured out why GAB's been down lately. John's been working on a device that would somehow travel over the interweb and spread a virus. The results of the virus are not completely known, but early tests show that long winded posts and being nice all of the sudden are some of the warning signs.

superturky 0 0
01/20/2005 01:16 AM

fratberry,



i want to rape your mother. then set her on fire. then stick her ashes up your ass.



was that funny? no. was what you said funny? no.



so shut up and make with the funny, please.



is it too much to ask than for you guys to stop trying to piss me off, get a Frost-ing life and be funny?



apparently it is.



you don't care about being funny, you only care about feeling better anout 4th grade when you got made fun of.



please get over it and make with the funny. damn, are you that disturbed? go to therapy, not gab.

beetsworth 305 8
01/20/2005 01:17 AM

now seems like a good time to introduce myself...





hi im beetsworth.

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/20/2005 01:18 AM

I've noticed that Turkey has stopped bumping those other threads.



yeah.. because they show what a tool he was this weekend.



Also, I like that larkknot, and it has nothing to do with boobs. She has shown a remarkably consistent knack for typing in English. Also, her posts are direct and to the point. I've already adopted Captain Dan, but I'd like to sponsor larkknot for less than the cost of a cup of coffee each month. To this end, please help me convince her to move to Africa.

TableTopJane...look closer 173,958 15
01/20/2005 01:18 AM

DAMN IT TURKEY!



Dude, I'm trying to be nice here. I'm not posting this Shakespeare because I'm on your side. I'm not. But I'm not on the other side, either. Whatever that may be.



But rarely do I take time to take the time to type out a thought out post instead of going for easy clickies with an insult or a link to my tits. But I did this time, because I really think we need to ALL move on.



Please don't make me look like even more of an ass by posting any more responses to these posts.

Daggy The Magnificent 86,705 14
01/20/2005 01:22 AM

Hands up who likes shirts!

superturky 0 0
01/20/2005 01:25 AM

i one last time, thank you for pushing my buttons. i didn't know it was that insulting to you to try to make with the funny.



i give up, you are beyond help. sorry i tried to get over it, guess noone else can.

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/20/2005 01:25 AM

Hey Beetsworth.

daisypie 49,378 9
01/20/2005 01:26 AM

I'd like to sponsor larkknot for less than the cost of a cup of coffee each month. To this end, please help me convince her to move to Africa



...or at least southern Maine.

Fratberry 282,931 53
01/20/2005 01:28 AM

"so shut up and make with the funny, please."



Now, what's it gonna be young feller? You want I should shut up or make with the funny? 'Cause if'n I shut up, I can't rightly make with the funny. And if'n I make with the funny, I'm gonna be talkin'.

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/20/2005 01:34 AM

Daggy... did you really eat 4 tiramisus at Sizzler?

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
01/20/2005 01:34 AM

----------------------------------

Intermission



Welcome to intermission with your host BobJohnson.







I bought ESPN 2K5 for the XBox last weekend. I was totally psyched because it was only $19.99, but now I'm kinda dissapointed. "Level 1: Contract Negotiations" seems to go on forever.





-----------------------------------

beetsworth 305 8
01/20/2005 01:35 AM

hi chit!!!



will you be my friend?

AussieSarah-feeding babys to dingos for a low$1.99 8,390 9
01/20/2005 01:36 AM

Me Me , I like shirts

I hate bra's though

Fillyicious 39,193 20
01/20/2005 01:37 AM

I don't have to wear a bra. Someone's going to hate me now, I can feel it...

Polo Chukker 4,634 12
01/20/2005 01:37 AM

<action>flashes thread</action>



I got my period today.

Napkin: Calvin is the clean George Carlin 30,762 12
01/20/2005 01:39 AM

Dear SuperTurkey,

I completely agree with you, and after a long meeting with everyone on GAB except you, we have decided that we all agree with you. You're absolutely right. Good for you.



Please go now, and never come back.

Daggy The Magnificent 86,705 14
01/20/2005 01:39 AM

FOUR!









*punches the air*

larkknot 3,359 10
01/20/2005 01:41 AM

Froggy, I'm glad you like me, but I cost a lot more than a cup of coffee to sponsor! Life here in the sort-of-big city isn't cheap you know!

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/20/2005 01:41 AM

<Action>waves excitedly to beetsworth</action>



"Over here. And keep your head down."

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/20/2005 01:41 AM

Buggs and Edward G Robinson....





Shudd Up Rabbit !



When someone tells me to shut up, I just shut right up boy.

Yup that's me allright, shut right up you can count on me to know when to stop talkin whe.....



Shudd up..... Shuddin Up !

Polo Chukker 4,634 12
01/20/2005 01:41 AM

Has anyone seen that movie Racing Stripes? I'm 23, but I just may go sit in the theature with a bunch of 12 year olds to see it.



I mean, a racing ZEBRA, who can resist that?

Napkin: Calvin is the clean George Carlin 30,762 12
01/20/2005 01:42 AM

Me?

Polo Chukker 4,634 12
01/20/2005 01:44 AM

Yeah, well, MY BOYFRIEND too...

which is why I'll be sitting with a bunch of 12 yr olds.

AussieSarah-feeding babys to dingos for a low$1.99 8,390 9
01/20/2005 01:46 AM

FIVE







what are we counting Daggy ?

larkknot 3,359 10
01/20/2005 01:46 AM

Oh, and that beetsworth person that chose the middle of the thread to introduce itself has very thick skin... or maybe just a thick skull?

Napkin: Calvin is the clean George Carlin 30,762 12
01/20/2005 01:46 AM

HAHAHAHAHA.



No wait...



HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.



Boyfriend. Silly Polo, everyone knows that boyfriends aren't real. Like faries and quality health control in Mexico.



Heh, "Boyfriend".

Polo Chukker 4,634 12
01/20/2005 01:47 AM

SEVEN





or is it SIX?

I don't understand this game.

larkknot 3,359 10
01/20/2005 01:48 AM

Is that like that mythical "girlfriend" that you have napkin? (the ladies of gab would LIKE her to be a myth at least)

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/20/2005 01:49 AM

Is it just me or is this thread funny as hell. All it needs is...







... poop, goatse, tubgirl, starts with s end with uiciBLAM!!!11







































fag.

Napkin: Calvin is the clean George Carlin 30,762 12
01/20/2005 01:49 AM

I have a wife Larky.



(grumblegrumbletripletsofbellevillegrumble)

AussieSarah-feeding babys to dingos for a low$1.99 8,390 9
01/20/2005 01:50 AM

EIGHT



Ok Dags , I'm gonna stop counting if you don't tell me why.

Napkin: Calvin is the clean George Carlin 30,762 12
01/20/2005 01:51 AM

Four!



(We're counting how many tiramisus Daggy ate)

Fillyicious 39,193 20
01/20/2005 01:51 AM

ELEVENTYONE!!!!!!!

Fratberry 282,931 53
01/20/2005 01:51 AM

Yeah, well, MY BOYFRIEND too...

which is why I'll be sitting with a bunch of 12 yr olds.



Mookie?

larkknot 3,359 10
01/20/2005 01:53 AM

napkin, I am most confused by your grumbling, and google isn't helping me much. Care to mumble an explanation, a little louder this time?

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/20/2005 01:56 AM

I mean, a racing ZEBRA, who can resist that?

who indeed.



I've noticed that Turkey has stopped bumping those other threads.



yeah.. because they show what a tool he was this weekend.



I'd also like to add that I didn't link to any of them in my Weekend Update thread because reading them makes my eyes bleed.

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/20/2005 01:59 AM

George.......ummmm.........Glass.



That's it.



George Glass.

AussieSarah-feeding babys to dingos for a low$1.99 8,390 9
01/20/2005 02:04 AM

Four!



(We're counting how many tiramisus Daggy ate)



FOUR

Is that all ?

Amature

TableTopJane...look closer 173,958 15
01/20/2005 02:18 AM

I assumed she was counting the number of votes for shirts (and, again I'm assuming, against my breasts).



And I need to confess something. You all have to admit that I really was trying. I was being so damn neutral I could have taken over for Switzerland.



Daggy, I didn't maha Turk for the comments he made about my daughter. I didn't feel it was worth it to validate him in that form. And I didn't maha him in here when he came in here when he made my peace offering posts pointless by being an ass.



I'm not sure why I did it. The comment didn't even make me mad, Daggy. But I did it. I mahad you request for votes. I really am sorry and will try to make up for this by making another annoying long winded thread and replacing the pee I stole from you.



I will then try to go to sleep. It's obvious that I need it. I'm getting all weird. Being nice, but then doing that to Daggy.

Napkin: Calvin is the clean George Carlin 30,762 12
01/20/2005 02:27 AM

Sleep Jane Sleep.



See Jane Sleep.



Look at Dick.



Dick isn't sleeping.



No Dick No.



Beat Dick Beat.

Daggy The Magnificent 86,705 14
01/20/2005 02:48 AM

I assumed she was counting the number of votes for shirts (and, again I'm assuming, against my breasts).



And I need to confess something. You all have to admit that I really was trying. I was being so damn neutral I could have taken over for Switzerland.



Daggy, I didn't maha Turk for the comments he made about my daughter. I didn't feel it was worth it to validate him in that form. And I didn't maha him in here when he came in here when he made my peace offering posts pointless by being an ass.



I'm not sure why I did it. The comment didn't even make me mad, Daggy. But I did it. I mahad you request for votes. I really am sorry and will try to make up for this by making another annoying long winded thread and replacing the pee I stole from you.



I will then try to go to sleep. It's obvious that I need it. I'm getting all weird. Being nice, but then doing that to Daggy.





What the hell are you going on about woman?

Hammerhead 59,399 14
01/20/2005 02:54 AM

She mahad you without reason and wanted to apologize. She also thought you were counting votes against her boobages.

Daggy The Magnificent 86,705 14
01/20/2005 02:56 AM

Oh. I've never even seen her boobages! Wait, I saw a wet one, was that it?





I like vodka!

Daggy The Magnificent 86,705 14
01/20/2005 02:57 AM

Wait, what 'request for votes'?





I'm confusted!

Hammerhead 59,399 14
01/20/2005 03:00 AM

Daggy, if you take the beer goggles off for a minute and look at the Jane's post just above the one where you asked who likes shirts, then you'll find a super secret hidden link to a picture of Jane's gazongas.

Daggy The Magnificent 86,705 14
01/20/2005 03:04 AM

Do I have to look at her boobs to understand what's going on?



Am I a bad person?





Will Luke and Laura ever get back together?

Hammerhead 59,399 14
01/20/2005 03:06 AM

Who is the father of Melanie's baby?



How will Richard react when he learns that Chuck shot his brother?



Will Chuck confess his unrequited love for Richard?



Will Tiffany regain her memory?



Is Derek really lost at sea?

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/20/2005 03:08 AM

Jane dear.. you're suffering from Tofurkey poisoning. It's a sad condition where you think every post is about you and is usually meant in a mean or offensive way. We should have seen it coming, really, as it is in some cases genetic in origin and your father seems to have it from time to time.



"Hands up who likes shirts!" is what we like to call a "non sequitur", or a "Daggyism". Other examples include "Why am I Daggy benedict?"



I'm sure we all see now where your confusion came from, but maybe you should have counted to ten before mahaing a defenseless drunk.



Love,

Frog

daisypie 49,378 9
01/20/2005 03:09 AM

Surely Luke & Laura are dead by now, aren't they?

Hammerhead 59,399 14
01/20/2005 03:09 AM

Froggie, Jane hasn't slept in three days, and she clicked the wrong button. Sue her.





And I'm only defending her right now because she's off trying to get the rest she needs.



That, and I'm bored.

daisypie 49,378 9
01/20/2005 03:13 AM

Frogger, I know it won't count, but I'm going to click you twice anyway.

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/20/2005 03:17 AM

Jane hasn't slept in three days, and she clicked the wrong button. Sue her.



I just love that Jane was going through this emotional roller coaster from being offended, to being hurt, to getting angry, to seeking revenge, and then to regret, remorse, shame, and confession.. all while Daggy was happy-go-lucky and completely clueless. It's just like every relationship I've ever had boiled down into an easily clickable format!

Daggy The Magnificent 86,705 14
01/20/2005 03:18 AM

I am not drunk. It's not even vodka o' clock yet!









mmmmmmmmm... delicious clocks....

superturky 0 0
01/20/2005 03:20 AM

has so much to say, heh.



but i am going to give time and the lord of gab his space. i screwed up. i know that the overloard of gab will make good. and loat a phat 45 minute hookah bowl.

Daggy The Magnificent 86,705 14
01/20/2005 03:39 AM

You know what?





My knees are on BACKWARDS!

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/20/2005 03:46 AM

showoff..

Daggy The Magnificent 86,705 14
01/20/2005 03:47 AM

yeah

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/20/2005 04:00 AM

On my way home from work tonight I drove passed a drunk, toothless, hag flashing her saggy boobs at passing cars.



Daggy, you should have told me you were coming to Sydney for a few days.

Humphrey B 51,764 12
01/20/2005 04:01 AM

Oh.. and on a side note. My 2 year old was sitting on my knee point and talking about all the icons in this thread.



He pointed at turkey's and said "i don't like this ugly monster".







Sorry Vlad.

TableTopJane...look closer 173,958 15
01/20/2005 09:22 AM

Okay, I'll admit I was rambling more than usual last night. But, even this morning, I understand how I thought she was talking about me.



I made a post that included a link to my breasts. The next post was Daggy's and it said "Hands up who likes shirts!" I still say it's understandable that I thought she was talking about that.

Brian Toldme 86,705 14
01/20/2005 09:59 AM

Dear Jane,



I have read this thread over and over and over and I still fail to see why you thought I was attacking you.





I've squinted, looked at the monitor upside down and consulted my psychic. Still no clue.



As far as my post about who likes shirts is concerned, I clicked on the thread to read up on what I'd missed..... the page was open for a while because my daughter is in her 7th week of school holidays and is bored beyond belief.



I already had a silly post in my head because, whether you have noticed or not, I don't really like to participate in the H8, I tend to try and diffuse certain uncomfortable situations using humour, this being the worlds only comedy board and all.



Consequently, several posts occurred while I had the page open and by the time I posted my shirt thing, you posted the thing with the link to your boobs. (which I missed and was later pointed out to me by hammerhead).



1. If you are self conscious about your boobs (which I still haven't seen), why post them on a message board for the world to see and judge?



2. If you thought I was attacking you in any way, you don't know me.



3.I think I wrote too much so I will try and post this, but if it comes up 'too much info', I'm not gonna bother.

SpecialKake 55,555 14
01/20/2005 10:16 AM

Come on, Guys! We're gonna be late for homeroom! You know Mr. Hargrave gets pissed when we show up late.

The n00b formaly known as Megatron 3,360 9
01/20/2005 10:20 AM

Suck up!

Chickens CDay-2! 286,527 61
01/20/2005 10:52 AM

No fair editing Jeff's email to you. The last lines read:



>>Oh, and finally and most importantly:

>>QUIT BEING SUCH A DICK

>>

Just Chance 171,275 14
01/20/2005 11:08 AM

No! With a knife!

The Chocolaty Snork 45,655 12
01/20/2005 11:11 AM

That's not a knife!

Lunchbox 14,650 10
01/20/2005 11:32 AM

In my spare time I masturbate a lot, get my homework done, chat on IM with friends, etc. I do what I have to do for my job (as a student/teacher) and I do what I want to do (relax, have fun) when I have spare time. I sure as hell don't spend hours arguing on a comedy message board with people. Am I weird for my priorities?

Bankey 70,843 10
01/20/2005 11:33 AM

yes.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
01/20/2005 11:44 AM

You people are acting like Nutbutter did back in ought one.

Chickens CDay-2! 286,527 61
01/20/2005 11:47 AM

No, you're wierd for wanting to stick another man's peener in your poopy hole.

SpecialKake 55,555 14
01/20/2005 11:49 AM

Can we move this thread to the proper place?



It's getting in the way of poop jokes.

Phuc 237,919 21
01/20/2005 12:43 PM

The ratio of funny/attempted funny posts vs. whiney bitch posts from Turkeys is at 1/85 right now.



For someone who is intellectually/humorectually/genetically superior to all of us put together, these are lousy numbers.



There can be only one explanation: Too many chinks, Ogden Nashes, spics, and sand monkeys are Frost-ing up the curve. We need to hang them all now. Let's make it part of the inauguration!

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
01/20/2005 12:55 PM

Wow. After reading this, I'm not so sad that my internet is down at home.

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
01/20/2005 01:02 PM

The 5 Least Funny Things on Gab



#5: Hazing the newbs

#4: Gabbers slagging Superturkey.

#3: Superturkey slagging Gabbers.

#2: People complaining about #2 and #3.



and the #1 "Least Funny Thing on Gab"...















My "Big Red Jesus" article.



Phillistines.

Delicious Lesbian Sea Turtle 156,790 17
01/20/2005 01:12 PM

<action> blinks

Frogpop 173,153 25
01/21/2005 12:44 AM

You've lost it. and Phillistines and Canaanites are comedy gold!

Lamburger 33,017 9
01/21/2005 12:48 AM

The 5 Least Funny Things on Gab



#5: Hazing the newbs

#4: Gabbers slagging Superturkey.

#3: Superturkey slagging Gabbers.

#2: People complaining about #2 and #3.



If people are comlaining about #2, then...people are complaining about people complaining about people complaining?



That sounds about right.

Lamburger 33,017 9
01/21/2005 05:44 AM

Oh...and hi beetsworth!

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
01/21/2005 05:55 AM

In the future maybe we should all just keep Jeff's opinion to ourselves.

















(and there was much rejoicing)



Yea!



Hurrah !

Sylvester 4,465 9
01/22/2005 06:13 PM

I'd prefer to move this thread somewhere more suitable.

TableTopJane...look closer 173,958 15
01/22/2005 06:22 PM

What a swell idea, Sylvester! You know what is an even better idea? Not posting in it and bumping it back to the front page.



Go sit in the corner, dumbass.

La Pistola 10,071 9
01/22/2005 07:49 PM

Wow. Don't ask me why I counted. It may have something to do with being extremely bored/boring/a mech. engineering major BUT . . . The phrase "make with the funny" (or variations) has been said 13 times in the thread. The word "funny" alone has appeared 62 times.



Funny isn't very funny anymore.

La Pistola 10,071 9
01/22/2005 07:49 PM

. . . . . Funny.

Napkin: Calvin is the clean George Carlin 30,762 12
01/23/2005 12:06 AM

68