Phuc 237,919 21
02/03/2005 10:18 PM

2. Partially plug (put promiscous GABber's name here)'s butthole.

HeadlineNews™® 367 9
02/03/2005 10:19 PM

..on the wall, 164 pads!

take one down, pass it around

163 maxi pads on the wall..



no?

sorry.

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 37
02/03/2005 10:20 PM

Make a modern art sculpture with them and 42 AOL CDs. Sell it to your local government to display outside of the courthouse.

Humphrey© 51,764 12
02/03/2005 10:23 PM

Use them to keep your undies clean when untie flo is visiting.



I got nothin'.

The Rabbi Napkinstein 30,762 12
02/03/2005 10:23 PM

<serious> Use them as bandaids? </serios>



Set them on FIRE!

The Rabbi Napkinstein 30,762 12
02/03/2005 10:24 PM

Eh, Frost that, that post was stupid anyway.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
02/03/2005 10:27 PM

Get some dead animal pelts and make a winter coat.

Livewire 78,229 13
02/03/2005 10:29 PM

Make some money. Open your own footwear shop.

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
02/04/2005 12:14 AM

This was on one of those funniest video shows: These kids keep going into the bathroom to play with "airplane stickers" when all they were doing was sticking maxipads (with wings) to the windows.

Illyria 24 8
02/04/2005 12:14 AM

i'm sure martha stewart has some ideas on that ;)

fiancé Lila 78,555 13
02/04/2005 12:21 AM

Heh - this is a coincidence since I just bought a box of 74 Pearl tampons at Costco last week.

I can sneak ya some in the mail whenever you need them, Llama, and provide you for the whole week.



Especially seeing as how I only get my "friend" every couple of months. Thank you, Ortho Evra!

Boots at the Boar 2,305 11
02/04/2005 12:37 AM

Water balloons!!!

Loociam Yofada 97,986 37
02/04/2005 12:39 AM

Especially seeing as how I only get my "friend" every couple of months. Thank you, Ortho Evra!



Birth control is supposed to make you regular, not the opposite. I take Ortho Evra and I have them every month.



Ummm....so how about those Eagles?

Loociam Yofada 97,986 37
02/04/2005 12:41 AM

Make a modern art sculpture with them and 42 AOL CDs.



"How many AOL CDs do you use when making a maxi pad sculpture?"



That doesn't sound right, either.

fiancé Lila 78,555 13
02/04/2005 12:50 AM

I take Ortho Evra and I have them every month.



Umm...you DO realize that you don't HAVE to have them every month, don't you?

That's the beauty of birth control - being able to control when you get your period. I'm "irregula" because I choose to be. You could take that new pill that only gives you 4 a year or your could wear the patch as long as you like and not have to worry about the cramps and mood swings nearly as often.

Rather, your boy (if you have one) would not have to worry about your cramps and mood swings.

Llama will click for cash 7,194 10
02/04/2005 12:51 AM

Goodness. I saw the Darth Vader icon and for a while I was wondering why BobJohnson or Hammerhead would be on the pill.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
02/04/2005 12:54 AM

Things are different on Tramalfadore.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
02/04/2005 12:55 AM

<action> looks scorningly at Llama</action>

And Priestess, I mailed your scarf yesterday.



Forget something? HHhhmmmMMMmmmm?

Llama will click for cash 7,194 10
02/04/2005 12:56 AM

scorningly?

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
02/04/2005 12:57 AM

Yeah, like I'm mad at you. That word works, right?

Hammerhead 59,399 14
02/04/2005 12:57 AM

I can only submit to this conversation because my wife's on the partial pill, and is going to be changing to some other form since she's no longer breast feeding. She wants to try the patch.

Dogs Akimbo 211,569 32
02/04/2005 12:58 AM

Duct tape them to the roof. Seriously. I'm not really supposed to say anything but......COMET!

Mr. Briham the Criminally Insane Groundhog 38,843 10
02/04/2005 12:58 AM

Save them for when you kill your parents. Nothing like Maxi Pads to soak up blood after a knife fight!

Loociam Yofada 97,986 37
02/04/2005 12:58 AM

wear the patch as long as you like



I've never heard of this! My horizons are broadened! But then there would go my excuse for my husband not to touch me one week a month.



Sooo....if the Eagles are playing the Falcons, is KFC gonna be the sponsor?

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
02/04/2005 12:59 AM

It's the Eagles and the Patriots. Don't talk sports if you have a vagina.

Loociam Yofada 97,986 37
02/04/2005 01:01 AM

She wants to try the patch



Serious post - if you wife has become as scatterbrained as I became after having a child, the patch is a must. Much harder to forget about a scuzzy sticker riding your butt than the pill.



And it's cheaper too. Score!

Loociam Yofada 97,986 37
02/04/2005 01:02 AM

Damn, I should have made that joke two weeks ago.



I said I was scatterbrained!

Llama will click for cash 7,194 10
02/04/2005 01:03 AM

Scorningly is not a word. Perhaps you meant scornfully?



And why do I need duct tape to attach pads to my roof? They're self-adhesive.

Dogs Akimbo 211,569 32
02/04/2005 01:05 AM

Sorry. I'm a guy, and I think duct tape fixes everything.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
02/04/2005 01:06 AM

WHERE'S MY DIRT, YOU FREAKY MAXI PAD EATING FREAK??

DirtyHermit 858 9
02/04/2005 02:54 AM

<action>Sees emoticon, convulses then faints</action>

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
02/04/2005 03:12 AM

You being asian, are a talented seamstress no doubt.







Make a simulated down jacket.





Or a big quilt.





you could always make padded seats for your moped. (or menstrual cycle)

Phuc 237,919 21
02/04/2005 07:55 AM

<action>adds Lila's menstrual cycle to secret file</action>

fiancé Lila 78,555 13
02/04/2005 08:42 AM

Al, I'm starting to think all that stress over the little racial episode we had a couple of weeks ago is breeding some serious sexual tension.



What's say you and I get with the sexo and you can prove to me that once I go Asian, I'll never go Caucasion.

Sexual Harassment Panda 181,783 70
02/04/2005 11:52 AM

Remember Al, Lila is black. Once you go black, watch your back. And your wallet.

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
02/04/2005 12:32 PM

"I got a free sample of pads in the mail. I don't know what the hell to do with them; I've been using them as coffee filters.



The garbage man must think I have a TERRIBLE disease."



-Jeremy Hotz-

Sexual Harassment Panda 181,783 70
02/04/2005 12:33 PM

Maxi pads pick up spills on carpet and hard surfaces faster than any towel or sponge.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
02/04/2005 12:44 PM

I've also heard that they're useful for waxing a car, just peel and stick to your hands. Wax on, wax off.



I have not tested this theory.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/04/2005 02:36 PM

Al, I'm starting to think all that stress over the little racial episode we had a couple of weeks ago is breeding some serious sexual tension.



Did I forget, forget to mention Memphis?

Home of Elvis and the ancient Greeks.

What do I smell? I smell home cooking.

It's only Lila'sBLAM

























adds Lila's interest in banging me to secret file

Pants 14,252 17
02/04/2005 02:58 PM

Sew the 164 Maxi Pads together and make one of these.

millie 116,988 28
02/04/2005 07:25 PM

I've got a case of Tampax Pearl, super, perfumed (yuck). My work gave them to me this summer. That's 432 tampons.



I don't use that kind. The food pantry for the homeless is always looking for non-food items like this, so the case has been sitting in my front hall for about six months now, ready for me to donate it.



The food pantry is less than a block from my house.



Man, I'm lazy.

Boots at the Boar 2,305 11
02/04/2005 10:36 PM

Get your boy toy to do it for you.

Our Own Declan McManus 131,874 36
02/05/2005 08:55 AM

Make a tent of them, paint it red.

Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
02/05/2005 10:37 AM

Maybe it is not just a coincidence that the pads that have adhesive on them look as though they might actually work if you wrapped the wings around the back of your knee, as kneepads.



Because if you need them for their original purpose,

then the chances of you finding a pair of knee pads handy, go way up.