Rock, paper, scissors...
A comedy conversation
by Jajoba  1,357  10
02/04/2005 03:28 AM 771 views
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I understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there's no Frost-ing way paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" rock, rendering it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why-- BECAUSE PAPER CAN'T BEAT ANYBODY!
A rock would tear that Shakespeare up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh Shakespeare, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you"
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
22 votes
5.0
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.5
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daisypie 49,378  9
02/04/2005 03:30 AM
Good old rock. Nothing beats rock!
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0 votes
0.0
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Livewire 78,229 13
02/04/2005 03:34 AM
Battle Beasts! Battle for the fun of it!
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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HighSoci 30,093 18
02/04/2005 03:36 AM
Try getting 10,000 paper cuts on your face and then tell me how much paper can't beat you.
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.5
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Livewire 78,229 13
02/04/2005 03:50 AM
I prefer the game of Rock, Drugs, Sex.
In that one, everyone wins!
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0 votes
0.0
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Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
02/04/2005 03:54 AM
I prefer the game of Rock, Drugs, Sex.
In that one, everyone wins!
Seems like a lot of people chocking on their own vomit in that version though.
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0 votes
0.0
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daisypie 49,378 9
02/04/2005 04:06 AM
::Note To Self::
When playing Jajoba in rock-paper-scissors, always choose rock. A BIG rock.
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0 votes
0.0
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Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
02/04/2005 04:13 AM
Choking too !
In Ancient Rome it was called,
micare digitis, literally to "flash the fingers". As time passed the name became Mora
It was so common in ancient Rome that there was a proverb to denote an honest person: Dignus est quicum in tenebris mices, which meant: So trustworthy, that one might play Mora with him in the dark.
Eventually, where we adopted the phrase, "I don't want to play no mora"
(ok I made that part up)
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0 votes
0.0
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Frogpop 173,153 25
02/04/2005 04:16 AM
Paper suffocates rock.
Duh.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.5
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Frogpop 173,153 25
02/04/2005 04:20 AM
I was always a big fan of Pencil (index finger fully extended). Pencil writes on paper, but is smashed by rock and chopped by scissors. These seemingly unfavorable odds are balanced by the sheer strategic surprise involved in shooting Pencil.
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
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Frogpop 173,153 25
02/04/2005 04:22 AM
*Note: Pencil may have been invented by my embarrassing inability one time in high school to choose clearly between rock and scissors by the count of 3, but I was able to bluff my way out of it.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
02/04/2005 05:07 AM
I've been there.
I think I called it "hand" though.
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.2
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Frogpop 173,153 25
02/04/2005 05:14 AM
Rock crushes Hand.
Paper cuts Hand.
Scissors cuts Hand in a different fashion than Paper.
Pencil stabs Hand.
Were you playing as France, or what?
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0 votes
0.0
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The Prunetang 701 9
02/04/2005 05:25 AM
Well Jajoba, I am all about the sneakiness of paper. It looks and seems like it can't beat anything, not even a child....well maybe a spider or something if it is rolled up correctly....however, it is that deceit which makes it so rewarding. Plus once you fist up after losing to my magical fighting paper I could slap you across the face front ways or backhand with that very supreme paper. I think scissor is the real loser here. Rock is a fist ready to pounce. Paper is a perfect spirited trickster ready to slap face flesh. However, the scissor hand position leaves the conjurer weak in defense. It may be used for a sort of pseudo-vulcan death grip thing... but I Am not sure. We should test this out.
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0 votes
0.0
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Megatron teh n00b 3,360 9
02/04/2005 05:28 AM
You can always poke someone's eyes out with Sissors
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Phla Mignon 131,068 34
02/04/2005 08:14 AM
YOU DON'T KNOW!
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0 votes
0.0
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Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
02/04/2005 08:14 AM
He is aging real well anyway isn't he ?
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0 votes
0.0
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Dead Robot 67,630 16
02/04/2005 08:29 AM
<action> chooses paper and papercuts his way out of anything</action>
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0 votes
0.0
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Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
02/04/2005 08:39 AM
Some folks get pretty serious about this Shakespeare !
Cloaking, Shadowing, Broadcasting throws, makes me feel good to know others spend their time doing Shakespeare that is a total waste of time besides us.
Check it out.
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