Flowers from the dead
A comedy conversation
by Chris Garrett  86,932  12
02/14/2005 05:59 PM 472 views
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I was just talking to my best friend, and the conversation got around to how one of her friends had received a dozen roses today.
Well, I know that this other friend is boyfriendless, and will always be, so, being the smart ass that I am...I asked "Who did she get them from? her mom?"
My friend responded, "That would be a neat trick, considering she's DEAD."
So, I figured, IF she were to get roses from her dead mother....what would the card say?
I'll get you started.
I miss you...love Mom.
"You left the Iron on. Mom"
"I hate the red sweater you're wearing RIGHT NOW! Love, Mom."
"Why don't you ever call? Mom"
GO!
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
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Side-splitting
31 votes
5.0
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Roofie Raccoon 56,688  10
02/14/2005 06:01 PM
"I wouldn't have to send you these flowers if you had a boyfriend you know."
Mom
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Side-splitting
23 votes
5.0
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Filly Steak 39,193 20
02/14/2005 06:01 PM
"See you soon. Love, Mom."
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Hilarious
19 votes
4.9
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Fratberry 282,931 53
02/14/2005 06:02 PM
Is it hot where you are too? - Mom
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.7
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Typhoid Mary 156,790 17
02/14/2005 06:03 PM
"I said the red pills, dumbass"
- Mom
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.9
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Fratberry 282,931 53
02/14/2005 06:06 PM
Happy Valentines Day. Please stop touching yourself so much. - Mom
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Funny
4 votes
3.5
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The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
02/14/2005 06:06 PM
Sweetie, holy Shakespeare! A writing corpse!
Mom
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.3
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Typhoid Mary 156,790 17
02/14/2005 06:07 PM
"Don't smoke. Love, Yul Brenner Mom."
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
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The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
02/14/2005 06:08 PM
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your mother's dead, and soon you'll be too.
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Funny
4 votes
3.8
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Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
02/14/2005 06:10 PM
Maybe you would be getting these from that nice Donaldson boy you went out with last weekend, if you had maybe shown a little more leg.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
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Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
02/14/2005 06:12 PM
"A little less 'OMG Mark is so hunky. Jill is just a bitch' and a little more '911', Honey"
- Mom
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
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Phuc 237,919 21
02/14/2005 06:14 PM
"Just checking to see that you're not dating a shegetz, bubby!"
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Just Chit till Presidents Day 178,776 15
02/14/2005 06:22 PM
My daughter the gym teacher, makes her mother come all the way down here to make sure she gets some flowers like all the other girls.
I keep telling myself that it's just a phase.
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
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Filly Steak 39,193 20
02/14/2005 08:30 PM
"Your refrigerator is running."
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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Sylvester 4,465 9
02/15/2005 02:22 AM
I thought you ought to save
These roses from my grave
In case you ever get a man
Hell will never need a fan.
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0 votes
0.0
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Megatron teh n00b 3,360 9
02/15/2005 02:33 AM
For your sake I hope you stay clean, for my sake I hope you don't.
Love - Prisoner #56843221
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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DirtyHermit 858 9
02/15/2005 02:42 AM
I'm baaaaaAAAck
--Mom
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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daisypie 49,378 9
02/15/2005 02:45 AM
"I've found the perfect man for you, and just can't wait for you to meet him. Love, Mom"
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0 votes
0.0
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Megatron teh n00b 3,360 9
02/15/2005 02:51 AM
Since you coulndn't get laid if every man on earth was gay our union would be illegal in 49 states, here's a hooker for you.
-Love Mom
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1135113
The Prunetang 701 9
02/15/2005 05:32 AM
"I found out that it's not a lie. Jesus really was hung like this(holds ghost hands outwards)".
Sincerely,
mom.
ps. If you don't find someone soon.....well....me and the big guy were talking about some kind of Jesus #2....you know....Immaculate conception. Hurry up sweety.
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