Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/03/2005 06:14 PM

Hope you like pepperoni.

Miracles 22,430 0
03/03/2005 06:15 PM

I don't have any idea what that means - but after all this I have been through the wringer...so, whatever.

Sexual Harassment Panda 181,783 70
03/03/2005 06:17 PM

Donkey.

That's all I'm sayin'.

Miracles 22,430 0
03/03/2005 06:21 PM

You are saying that it was Rockin' Donkey?



Or you want to call my house and yell, DONKEY?



Do it - I don't care.



I'm going to have to change my number now anyway.

The Seth-o 161,353 14
03/03/2005 06:28 PM

Is there any place where we can pinpoint the exact moment turkey lost his goddamn mind? I'd really like to see it, because I think I missed out.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/03/2005 06:30 PM

I don't think GAB was around when he was 11.

Miracles 22,430 0
03/03/2005 06:31 PM

He called and left a message swearing it wasn't him.



Some other GABBER apparently knows all about me.



Hmmm.

The Seth-o 161,353 14
03/03/2005 06:31 PM

I'm wondering why he would keep posting her real number. Doesn't he realize that were she to post his number,* he'd get probably five hundred calls a minute?







*DO NOT POST HIS REAL NUMBER

Miracles 22,430 0
03/03/2005 06:32 PM

I'm not a vindictive person - I would never.

The Seth-o 161,353 14
03/03/2005 06:32 PM

Someone must have hacked his IP and used his exact IP address then. THIS THING GOES ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP.

The Seth-o 161,353 14
03/03/2005 06:33 PM

What he's doing basically constitutes criminal harrassment. Just sayin'.

Miracles 22,430 0
03/03/2005 06:33 PM

I've just had enough. I'm done with GAB.



Lila you can start the party now.

piXXXie 5,871 11
03/03/2005 06:34 PM

It's amazing to me that Miracles would think that people actually WANT to call her.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/03/2005 06:34 PM

Are you saying that Hargrave is Superturkey?

The Seth-o 161,353 14
03/03/2005 06:35 PM

Have you ever seen them in the same room? DUN DUN DUNN!!

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/03/2005 06:35 PM

3 Clickies.

</whore>

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/03/2005 06:35 PM

<action> tries to go back in time to 3/03/2005 5:32 pm to try and make his last post make sense.

Daggy 86,705 14
03/03/2005 06:37 PM

I like those tomatoes that are shaped like grapes.

Miracles 22,430 0
03/03/2005 06:37 PM

Stop being Emersons. Don't you think I have dealt with enough already?

Sexual Harassment Panda 181,783 70
03/03/2005 06:38 PM

You are saying that it was Rockin' Donkey?



Or you want to call my house and yell, DONKEY?





Well now that you've ruined the surprise....

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/03/2005 06:39 PM

Then make fun back, Miracles.



Lets be realistic here, We don't care about you, You don't care about us.



Something about a grain of salt.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
03/03/2005 06:40 PM

Miracles, people are just trying to be random to lighten up this Shakespearety situation. Nobody is blaming you for his idiocy. Hang in there.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/03/2005 06:40 PM

<action> runs away crying



I CARE! I CARE!!!

The Seth-o 161,353 14
03/03/2005 06:40 PM

If people start hurting each other's feelings here on the internet, I for one will be surprised, shocked and maybe a little aroused. But in the bad way, like when you see clown porn and you realize one of the clowns has been dead for a while.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/03/2005 06:41 PM

I'm just kidding. I don't care.

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
03/03/2005 06:41 PM

I care about people on the internet.



They're at LEAST as real as the voices in my head. And I'd kill for the voices in my head.



I mean. Hypothetically.



If they asked.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/03/2005 06:41 PM

I not more than three you, Chi.

Aimless the Worm Goddess 54,807 10
03/03/2005 06:41 PM

Um, Miracles? If you are "done with gab" as you posted...why are you still posting?



Gab relationships end in tears and bloody sheets and you never end up having as good of spot as you thought when it comes time to hide the body.



I'm just sayin is all.

Fillysophic 39,193 20
03/03/2005 06:42 PM

So that's how Chickens died....

piXXXie 5,871 11
03/03/2005 06:42 PM

My sincerest apologies, Miracles. I didn't mean to point out the fact that you're an annoying bitch during this hard time in your life. You have to change your phone number, honey. It may look grim now, but life will go on. I promise you that.



<action> hugs Miracles.

The Seth-o 161,353 14
03/03/2005 06:44 PM

Note to self: Girls Frost-ing HATE each other.

Aimless the Worm Goddess 54,807 10
03/03/2005 06:45 PM

...but life will go on. I promise you that.



Well, unless you off yourself. Life kind of comes to a grinding hault then.



I'm just sayin is all.

Daggy 86,705 14
03/03/2005 06:46 PM

Dear Miracles,

Stop looking for sympathy, it's not going to happen here.

Lots of love from Daggy.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
03/03/2005 06:47 PM

No, girls hate Frost-ing each other.



No, that's not right either.









I like girls.

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
03/03/2005 06:47 PM

So long. Farewell. Hey, what am I, chopped liver?

I need.. to sleep.. In a van.. down by the.. river.

piXXXie 5,871 11
03/03/2005 06:50 PM

I don't Frost-ing hate girls. I don't hate Frost-ing girls. I just hate Miracles. Okay?!?!

Aimless the Worm Goddess 54,807 10
03/03/2005 06:52 PM

I don't hate Miracles. It's becasue of Miracles that ugly people get to have sex in their lives.

The Seth-o 161,353 14
03/03/2005 06:53 PM

I don't hate anyone. I love you all like the obsessive internet strangers you are.

piXXXie 5,871 11
03/03/2005 06:54 PM

I don't really hate Miracles. I feel bad for saying that now.







Since when did I get a conscience?



I'm scared..

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/03/2005 06:54 PM

<action> licks his monitor



I looove all of you.

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
03/03/2005 07:18 PM

I like Miracles. She's sweet, she's funny, and she's had some really crummy breaks lately. Hang in there hon.



Being cruel does not necessarily disqualify something from being funny.



Of course, it doesn't guarantee it either.



"The one thing men and women have in common is that they both hate women.

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
03/03/2005 07:21 PM

I was sure you were going to say, they both never ask for directions.

Dweezil Meniketti 77,546 17
03/03/2005 09:19 PM

Sometimes you guys can be real Frost-ing Emersons.

millie 116,988 28
03/03/2005 10:00 PM

I don't hate women.



I do hate men.



Which sucks, because I'm not gay.



Miracles, I feel bad for you that you were involved with an obsessive Emerson, but my sympathy has been strained by the constant bickering between the two of you on this board.



I don't understand why you don't just ignore his posts. You're giving him the attention he's craving. And so is everyone else who responds to him.



He should not have posted your phone number and address, but, realistically, that information is probably in the white pages anyway.

Daggy 86,705 14
03/03/2005 10:03 PM

Yeah. Under 'M' for Miracles.

Dweezil Meniketti 77,546 17
03/03/2005 10:34 PM

Pssst... Millie. She left GAB. She's not coming back. You might as well be telling Brooke not to bitch about her christmas present.

millie 116,988 28
03/03/2005 10:51 PM

Oh, she'll be back.

Fillysophic 39,193 20
03/03/2005 11:25 PM

It occurs to me that Miracles could've just said that wasn't her info. Who would believe superturkey about it?

PhartSack 13,792 15
03/03/2005 11:28 PM

OK since I am too lazy to read all the posts and threads.



What the Frost did I miss?



Who should I hate?

Who should I feel sorry for?



And most importantly, who new has shown their tits?

daisypie 49,378 9
03/04/2005 01:10 AM

Poor, poor, Miracles really is in a bad way...



She didn't even get Hat's hilarious pepperoni joke!

Dweezil Meniketti 77,546 17
03/04/2005 01:27 AM

Oh, she'll be back.



Don't hold your breath.





On second thought. hold your breath. Maybe you'll smother.

Sylvester 4,465 9
03/04/2005 04:15 AM

I might as well put my two cents in here on this matter, and I'm STILL on the fence on this matter.



I don't know Miracles, but it would be a shame to see her leave in this instance, IF she does decide to leave. Give her time is all I will have to say at this moment and time.

GoBanana 590 10
03/04/2005 07:13 AM

Hang on one second..... miracles is a WOMAN!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

JepRep - Limericking Lunatic till March 17th 58,758 13
03/04/2005 07:26 AM

Don't feel bad. I just learned Miracles was a woman too. Thanks to her old icon, I thought she was a fat axe murderer with a bad goatee from the communist bloc who, through some sort of ecclesiastic clerical error, somehow made it to heaven and earned a halo.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/04/2005 07:40 AM

I was going to post asking for whoever knew who the perp was to post their user name so the rest of us could exact revenge--hopping, crawling, slithering through the mud in the pouring rain...



"One of us. One of us..."



...and then I realized that not enough people gave a fat rat's ass to do anything about it.



For what it's worth, little Miracles, Jeebus loves you and will punish your tormentor appropriately.

Ditdah 123,102 14
03/04/2005 09:07 AM

I have been gone for many months, and I see now that I am back that the beautiful Roofie has her own icon. Congrats Roof!!!

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 37
03/04/2005 09:27 AM

The Roofie! The Roofie! The Roofie's on fire!

Ditdah 123,102 14
03/04/2005 09:55 AM

And Spicey, and Hamerhead... you all have been busy!

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
03/04/2005 10:43 AM

Ditdah, are you suggesting Spicey, Hammerhead and I have been getting busy? Because that's just not true.



And thanks!

Year of the Chickens 286,527 61
03/04/2005 10:55 AM

Ditdah! I was in columbus a couple of weeks ago and had no way to contact you. Maybe that's for the best, but still, would have liked to meet you for a beer.

Ditdah 123,102 14
03/04/2005 11:05 AM

Awww, Chix, that would have been cool. For what it's worth now, my profile is updated - email addy is good. I'll be back in NC again anyhoo - gotta go see the family at some point. What were you doing here? (Please don't tell me you were with the muscleheads at the Arnold classic.) Were you here for the bike show?

Trixxie 65,026 15
03/04/2005 11:46 AM

I had sex with a moose once.

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
03/04/2005 03:24 PM

Just because the waiter at Outback wears a horned helmet to sing you Happy Birthday does NOT actually make them a moose.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/04/2005 03:26 PM

I had sex with a moose once.





Pfft, Silly Americans.



Thats a good tuesday night up here in Canada.

Sylvester 4,465 9
03/05/2005 11:27 PM

Especially when the Leafs aren't playing.

johnnykielbasa2000 15,703 0
10/05/2005 06:06 PM

any pepperoni left????

Black Bandana - Blue Barracuda's Bumbling Bastard 91,274 10
10/05/2005 06:09 PM

Heh. Thats one of my funniest posts.

Miracles - Lover not a Fighter 22,430 0
10/05/2005 06:12 PM

I know. And I was too Frost-ing pissed at the time to get it.



I'll click you for it now, Hat.



And thanks for the pizza.

Black Bandana - Blue Barracuda's Bumbling Bastard 91,274 10
10/05/2005 06:14 PM

Heh, Still got some left? I love cold pizza.

Miracles - Lover not a Fighter 22,430 0
10/05/2005 06:17 PM

Sure. Come over - and bring newwave with you.



I deserve a threesome after all that!

The Fugly Snork 45,655 12
10/05/2005 06:19 PM

My god, Millie, you're a prophet! My prophet.



*Suicide-bombs turkeys house*

Oliver Chest; Vlaccid Boner 203,475 12
10/05/2005 06:21 PM

<action> sighs</action>You brought it on yourself. You got what you deserved. You are not the victim. So stop acting like you are, you stupid twat.

Black Bandana - Blue Barracuda's Bumbling Bastard 91,274 10
10/05/2005 06:22 PM

<action> grabs suitcase, hops in a red convertible, picks up Benicio Del Toro at the corner, eats acid </action>

What way are we going?

Black Bandana - Blue Barracuda's Bumbling Bastard 91,274 10
10/05/2005 06:24 PM

BATS!!

Oliver Chest; Vlaccid Boner 203,475 12
10/05/2005 06:26 PM

You know, most of the time, right before I am about to post something mean, I'll stop and think to myself "does this person really deserve this harshness?" A lot of times, I'll stop and not post it.



This never happens for Miracles.

Miracles - Lover not a Fighter 22,430 0
10/05/2005 06:27 PM

I Frost-ing hate you, Oliver.



Lick me where I pee.

Ditdah 123,102 14
10/05/2005 06:27 PM

Hey! This is the thread where I came back to GAB!



You should all love this thread. Love it well. Just like that...yeah right there. That's good.

Duh - I'm Dead Sexy, Believe It Bitches! 24,152 8
10/05/2005 06:28 PM

Johnny, there's a deal going on right now as we speak. You are coming dangerously close to aggravating it. Since this thread is already bumped, I'll let it slide. However, if you Frost the things up that I layed out, I will not hesitate to <exceeds your moral freakin' tolerance>. Now, let's play nice and don't even go there again. A'ight?

Yorkie Thompson: Vlaccid Frontman 60,724 12
10/05/2005 06:28 PM

<action>screams and slams face on keyboard</action>





bajhvjBj nvas h39n mBH7 Ujfujnfal.f3a2asgnjkw0pIKG 0KP,.fik gagnk 4-[0ial f an p6

Ditdah 123,102 14
10/05/2005 06:30 PM

AHEM! There is something much more important in this thread than the stupid fight!



ME!

Duh - I'm Dead Sexy, Believe It Bitches! 24,152 8
10/05/2005 06:31 PM

<action> busts out some lube</action>

I agree, let's gangbang Ditdah.

Black Bandana - Blue Barracuda's Bumbling Bastard 91,274 10
10/05/2005 06:33 PM

SHOTGUN ANUS!

Ditdah 123,102 14
10/05/2005 06:37 PM

You can't rape the willing.

Miracles - Lover not a Fighter 22,430 0
10/05/2005 06:39 PM

Hey, Wait!



Hat is supposed to pick up newwave and get to me first.



Ditah can have the leftovers...leftover pizza that is!

Duh - I'm Dead Sexy, Believe It Bitches! 24,152 8
10/05/2005 06:40 PM

What was it that confucius once said?



If rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it...



Or was that Bobby Knight?

Ditdah 123,102 14
10/05/2005 06:41 PM

So, I have a question - if I had a threesome with 2 guys, (HYPOTHETICALLY!), it would be safe to say that the two males were at least bi-curious, if not fully bi-sexual. By saying you are 'gangbanging' me instead, does that take away the thread of being called a fag?

Black Bandana - Blue Barracuda's Bumbling Bastard 91,274 10
10/05/2005 06:43 PM

It all depends on whether or not we do the high five over top of you.

Ditdah 123,102 14
10/05/2005 06:46 PM

This thread sure went to a strange place... Over the weekend I told my father about GAB. He knew I was on a 'comedy site' and I went to Boston for it, but didn't know which site it was. Now he does.



Let's hope THIS is not the thread he decides to look at first.

Black Bandana - Blue Barracuda's Bumbling Bastard 91,274 10
10/05/2005 06:52 PM

As opposed to all the other ones in which you talk about being a Y-dining ravenous nymph?

The Fugly Snork 45,655 12
10/05/2005 06:53 PM

Hey, who wouldn't like yams? Sweet delicious yams.

Black Bandana - Blue Barracuda's Bumbling Bastard 91,274 10
10/05/2005 06:54 PM

<action> checks Photo Album </action>

I'd say alot of people.

The Fugly Snork 45,655 12
10/05/2005 06:55 PM

A lot is two words.



This gives me the upper hand.

Yorkie Thompson: Vlaccid Frontman 60,724 12
10/05/2005 06:55 PM

Goddamn it, Hat....



A LOT

Yorkie Thompson: Vlaccid Frontman 60,724 12
10/05/2005 06:56 PM

I'll kill you, Snork.

Duh - I'm Dead Sexy, Believe It Bitches! 24,152 8
10/05/2005 06:57 PM

Hat and Ditdah:



Hey diddle diddle,

with your kitty in the middle,

and the tooth ran away with the spoon.

Black Bandana - Blue Barracuda's Bumbling Bastard 91,274 10
10/05/2005 06:59 PM

Does it cause you guys to stop reading, mid sentence, and burst into tears and/or seizure?



No?



Then Frost off.

The Fugly Snork 45,655 12
10/05/2005 07:00 PM

Some toothless people abused a kitten?



There is no spoon, Neo?

Black Bandana - Blue Barracuda's Bumbling Bastard 91,274 10
10/05/2005 07:00 PM

I mean, Frostoff.

Duh - I'm Dead Sexy, Believe It Bitches! 24,152 8
10/05/2005 07:01 PM

Sounds like somebody could use a WANG.

The Fugly Snork 45,655 12
10/05/2005 07:02 PM

<action> stops reading, mid sentence, and bursts into tears and/or seizure</action>



fdgl; o8klyikkloyh;i l u;iiiyyhgbuirerer9e

Yorkie Thompson: Vlaccid Frontman 60,724 12
10/05/2005 07:02 PM

<action>wipes off tears, cleans up shards of vase he knocked over during his seizure</action>



Sorry, Hat, I won't mention it again.

Duh - I'm Dead Sexy, Believe It Bitches! 24,152 8
10/05/2005 07:03 PM

Oh hell no!



<grabs a pitchfork and pushes Snork into a lettuce patch>



Voila, Seizure Salad!

Yorkie Thompson: Vlaccid Frontman 60,724 12
10/05/2005 07:03 PM

See, what you people see is Snork and I simul-posting. What you don't see is the fact that he is simply my mind-puppet.

Oliver Chest; Vlaccid Boner 203,475 12
10/05/2005 07:06 PM

Wang?















Chung?



















Tonight?

The Fugly Snork 45,655 12
10/05/2005 07:07 PM

Your mind-puppet is faster than you, SD.



That makes you a pretty weak puppet-master.

Yorkie Thompson: Vlaccid Frontman 60,724 12
10/05/2005 07:15 PM

No, it makes me a kind master, giving you the credit sometimes.



Don't make me take it away.

Ditdah 123,102 14
10/05/2005 07:34 PM

Hey! Stop fighting and get back to talking about having sex with me.

Ditdah 123,102 14
10/05/2005 07:35 PM

I swear to god I'm not this much of a slut in real life.

Yorkie Thompson: Vlaccid Frontman 60,724 12
10/05/2005 07:35 PM

Damn.