Is That My Puke?
A comedy conversation
by Zaphod Beeblebrox  31,599  13
03/13/2005 03:49 PM 209 views
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Shortly after getting out of bed today, I head to the kitchen. I notice something on the couch. It's vomit. I go to the bathroom to grab something to clean it up, assuming one of the dogs did it, and I find more puke on the toilet seat and floor. That rules out the dogs, I think. Sure, I had a few beers, and a couple shots of Patron, but I couldn't have been that drunk because I looked out the window, and my car is here - I must have driven home. Hmm... I don't exactly remember driving home.
Some of it is coming back to me now, but I definitely don't remember puking. Or taking my clothes off outside and leaving them in the driveway.
Ah, but I do remember buying drinks for this large black lesbian chick.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
11 votes
5.0
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Chesty Lerue 6,902  12
03/13/2005 03:52 PM
Maybe your dogs just self - trained themselves to puke in the toilet. I think people seriously underestimate the intelligence of the average canine.
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Side-splitting
12 votes
5.0
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millie 116,988 28
03/13/2005 03:55 PM
Remember that chick in Texas who hit the guy when she was driving home drunk and left him on her windshield for days until he died?
Did you check your windshield?
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Side-splitting
20 votes
5.0
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Father brandon 600 9
03/13/2005 03:55 PM
Make sure the large black lesbian is not still lurking in your house vomiting on your possesions.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
03/13/2005 03:58 PM
I don't have what I have learned by trial and error is my usual "drank too much and puked" hangover.
The puke looked like it had little bits of fried chicken in it, which must be the fried calamari I had at the bar.
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Side-splitting
13 votes
5.0
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Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
03/13/2005 04:00 PM
My underwear is frozen to the driveway.
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Side-splitting
18 votes
5.0
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Father brandon 600 9
03/13/2005 04:00 PM
In fear of being worn?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Shoogagoogagunga 77,546 17
03/13/2005 04:26 PM
A friend of mine told me that memory lapses while drinking is a sign of alcholism.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery.
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.6
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Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
03/13/2005 04:29 PM
Damnit, you're stressing me out. I need a drink.
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Side-splitting
8 votes
5.0
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Hammerhead 59,399 14
03/13/2005 04:33 PM
He's not an alcoholic, he's a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Clint McPants 19,555 11
03/13/2005 08:59 PM
..whereas drunks go to Zug.
Now, where did I put that bottle of vaguely familiar Grouse?
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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McRib 13,155 9
03/13/2005 09:07 PM
Buying drinks for a lesbian? You spent money on someone at the bar who you had no chance of sleeping with? You need to have your thought process vomited on.
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0 votes
0.0
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fiancé Lila 78,555 13
03/13/2005 09:46 PM
A couple shots of Patron? WTF?
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0 votes
0.0
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fiancé Lila 78,555 13
03/13/2005 09:47 PM
Oh, and I think he might be on to something here buying drinks for a lesbo. Drunk lesbos are on the lookout for OTHER drunk lesbos whom he can tag along with later to watch the drunk lesbo sex and jerk off in the corner.
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0 votes
0.0
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fiancé Lila 78,555 13
03/13/2005 09:49 PM
Bleck. I can't stomach tequila unless it's nice and hidden in a margarita, rocks of course.
But this Shakespeare ain't cheap. You must have the MAD cash!
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0 votes
0.0
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Whistler P. McManus 186,021 44
03/13/2005 10:30 PM
Driveway? I thought you lived in Manhattan - where have you moved to, Beebs?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
03/13/2005 11:14 PM
Nah, I live about 20 minutes outside the city in the burbs. Rent in the city is just too damn high.
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
03/14/2005 04:57 AM
I avoided going in my wallet all day, afraid of what I spent the night before. I just checked, and it looks like I burned through about $120. Even at $8 a shot, that's a lot of shots. Damn.
Lila, the reason you detest the taste of tequila is that you've probably only ever had Cuervo, even the 1800 is nasty.
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