The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/17/2005 07:35 PM

Everyone: OLIVER! PUT YOUR PANTS ON!

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
03/17/2005 07:36 PM

Everyone Else: "Hey, where is that awesome BFB guy??"

Kittuns Corned Beef Taco™ 44,835 9
03/17/2005 07:38 PM

Kittuns: Hi Jeff Hargrave, I'm Kittuns

Jeff: *faints*

Space Admiral BobO'Brien 178,045 22
03/17/2005 07:40 PM

#1: Why is that huge water pipe exposed? Couldn't we afford a better venue?



#2: Why is Trae licking that huge water pipe? Can't she afford liquor?



#3: Man, BobJohnson has a huge Coleridge.

Captain Dan's Sea Legs 44,452 11
03/17/2005 07:43 PM

#4: Yes, that's a fine rooster. Why does Trae keep licking that water pipe??

Space Admiral BobO'Brien 178,045 22
03/17/2005 07:44 PM

Trae: I've never been with a man before. . .



</Airplane>

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
03/17/2005 07:45 PM

<action>exposes his spigot...</action>

Phla Mignonalcoholic 131,068 34
03/17/2005 07:46 PM

Phla! Will you get down from that ceiling?!

Tabula Rasa 14,056 9
03/17/2005 07:48 PM

We are all such dorks. Everyone's as excited about this as I am.



Everyone: Angela's getting naked again. Better get out the sunglasses.

Lamburger 33,017 9
03/17/2005 07:49 PM

Wait...which Angela? Is Daggy coming?

Tabula Rasa 14,056 9
03/17/2005 07:52 PM

I'm Angela. I didn't know Daggy was an Angela. Roofie's an Angela, too.



This is like twelve times as weird, because I've never met another Angela in person.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
03/17/2005 07:56 PM

And I'm pretty sure all three of us would be naked at the drop of a hat.



Tabby, I can't wait to meet you. I've never made out with another Angela before.

Tabula Rasa 14,056 9
03/17/2005 07:57 PM

You're going? You're actually going? Are you bringing your husband?



You know you'll be my first lesbian encounter, right? Frost. Now I'm all nervous.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/17/2005 07:57 PM

<action>'s zipper explodes into a thousand peices

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/17/2005 07:58 PM

So that's what happens when you put an M80 on a pair of pants.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
03/17/2005 07:59 PM

Tabby, I can't wait to meet you. I've never made out with another Angela before.

You know you'll be my first lesbian encounter, right?



*passes out*

Space Admiral BobO'Brien 178,045 22
03/17/2005 07:59 PM

GABber: Did you see Roofie and Tabula head off together? Heheh. I wonder what they're doing.



BobJohnson: Visit my new website AngelaOnAngela.com.

The World Has Corners? 45 8
03/17/2005 08:00 PM

WHAT THE Frost???

Tabula Rasa 14,056 9
03/17/2005 08:03 PM

Oh, I'd be willing to let people watch.

The World Has Corners? 45 8
03/17/2005 08:05 PM

whoa.... Frost Frost Frost Frost.... That's spooky. Frost. Frost. When I wrote this, those were all the word "Frost", but the word in the quotes probably is also a Frost, so that last sentence made no sense. Frost. Frost. Frost. Frost Frost Frost. Spooky.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/17/2005 08:08 PM

You can turn off your swearbot. You are the only one that sees it like that. You are a moron. I hate you. If you died, it would be great. We could use your body for fertilizer.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
03/17/2005 08:08 PM

Oh, I'd be willing to let people watch.



Me too. Wouldn't be the first time.



And IF I can come (if the date is not June 4 and money miraculously appears) then it'll just be me, not the hubby. He'd be willing but that's a lot of cash to scrape up.

The World Has Corners? 45 8
03/17/2005 08:09 PM

ha-HA! Think your website and it's cheesy absenity filters can stop me John/Jeff???? Well I am way to crafty for my own good!



Frost



what now?!

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/17/2005 08:09 PM

Stop it.

The World Has Corners? 45 8
03/17/2005 08:10 PM

WHY THE Frost CANT I WIN?!?

Tabula Rasa 14,056 9
03/17/2005 08:10 PM

I have declared that this will be the single most awesome weekend of my life.

Even if BobJohnson doesn't come.

The World Has Corners? 45 8
03/17/2005 08:11 PM

sorry. i will stop.

Captain Dan's Sea Legs 44,452 11
03/17/2005 08:11 PM

Noob: Boy, the people at this party suren't as mean as they seem over the internet, where they can act like Emersons because noone will see them.



Elder: Hi Noob! Wanna see my boobs?



Noob: You can't use HTML in verbal communication! This makes no sense, no sense at all I tell you!



Elder: I will retire.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
03/17/2005 08:12 PM

Slutty Angelas are ruining GAB.



(Pfft, yeah right.)

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
03/17/2005 08:12 PM

Even if BobJohnson doesn't come.



You spelled 'Blue-Footed Boobie' wrong dear...

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/17/2005 08:12 PM

Go to "Edit your profile."



Go down to "Swearbot"



Switch it to "No Swearbot."



Jump off the nearest "Tall Building."

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/17/2005 08:15 PM

<action> begins glueing pictures of Goatse and Tubgirl inside of Playboy magazines...and one Bear magazine



You can't use HTML in verbal communication! This makes no sense, no sense at all I tell you!

The World Has Corners? 45 8
03/17/2005 08:16 PM

Thank you, I am truely sorry. Didn't know that it could be switched off. And if you are wondering, I feel horrible moronic Emerson right now.

Horrible Moronic Asshole 44,452 11
03/17/2005 08:18 PM

I feel you too.

Cisco Clifton 161,353 14
03/17/2005 08:22 PM

GABBER: Too bad Chi Chi couldn't come.



*From the shadows*



Chi Chi: Toonga!

Fillylicious 39,193 20
03/17/2005 11:15 PM

Oooh, can Filly get in on this hot lesbian action? Will the lovely Angelas mind?

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
03/17/2005 11:22 PM

"Jim, who threw this? No, seriously, who the hell threw this? Who the Frost threw this?"



Oh, wait, that was another gab Stewfest.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
03/17/2005 11:45 PM

Filly I don't think either of us would mind. (You're over 18, right?)

Fillylicious 39,193 20
03/17/2005 11:51 PM

Mmhmm.

Daggy 86,705 14
03/18/2005 02:46 AM

(Angelas only may read this post)



I have never met another Angela before.



I think we should rename this comedy website www.TheAngelas.com





Doesn't it annoy you when stupid people spell your name Anglea?

Phuc 237,919 21
03/18/2005 10:47 AM

Angelas (to each other): Who's that chubby guy in the corner with the big vein on his head that's throbbing like the nacells on the USS Enterprise?

Special McKake 55,555 14
03/18/2005 11:24 AM

like the nacells on the USS Enterprise?



I don't know what that means, but you sound like a dork.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
03/18/2005 11:33 AM

Daggy, someone once spelled my name Anglea and it sure pissed me off. Also, I don't like to be called Angie as I'm not 11 years old anymore. Also, Daggy I'd like to party with you.

Tabula Rasa</wit> 14,056 9
03/18/2005 11:41 AM

People usually don't spell my name incorrectly, but my last name. It's Saunders. With a u. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked if I'm related to Colonel Sanders (of KFC).





It's cool, though, because black people love me.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
03/18/2005 11:42 AM

You're not 11 years old?



You lied to me!

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
03/18/2005 11:44 AM

but my last name. It's Saunders



Nooooo! Now the intarweb knows your name! All is lost...all is lost...

Ditdah 123,102 14
03/18/2005 12:01 PM

Random horny male GABber: SO... you really a lesbian?

Ditdah: Well, I'm Bi, but I'm with a woman right now.

RHMG: Uhhhh... yea. Whatever. SO prove it - kiss a girl.

Space Admiral BobO'Brien 178,045 22
03/18/2005 12:08 PM

This isn't really a conversation, per se, but:



Phuc and Demo walk in, say "nice to meet ya," and promptly lay their penises side-to-side and begin measuring.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
03/18/2005 12:09 PM

That would only be fair if Demo went swimming first.

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 12:11 PM

I'm going to have a tubgirl T-Shirt made, and wear a button-down shirt over it. I'll randomly flash people with it.

Ditdah 123,102 14
03/18/2005 12:24 PM

Then Chi-chi will call you immature.

Fratberry 282,931 53
03/18/2005 12:25 PM

<action>prints out thread, heads to nearest restroom</action>

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
03/18/2005 12:30 PM

Frat I didn't know the thought of tubgirl on a t-shirt got you so worked up!

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
03/18/2005 12:56 PM

Phuc and Demo walk in, say "nice to meet ya," and promptly lay their penises side-to-side and begin measuring.



No, that would only be fair if Phuc is a woman.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/18/2005 04:07 PM

I've figured out what it is about GAB gatherings that makes me want to puke, mix my puke with a dog's puke fry it up as pancakes, stuff it with road kill and cat turds and eat it before I'd go to another.



It's when people meet in person and promptly start acting like they're on GAB.



Did people in Houston really do the smiley thing? Cuz if anyone tries that Shakespeare up here, I swear I'm going to beat the living Shakespeare out of them. And I'll get Kake, Chi Chi and any of them military guys to do some of the stompin.



There's a geek line. Cross it and die.

















PS

I'm not comparing my penis to anyone else's. ...I would, if I could coax it out.

Lamburger 33,017 9
03/18/2005 04:13 PM

<action>puts a yellow smiley sticker on Phuc's forehead</action>

Phuc 237,919 21
03/18/2005 04:14 PM

<action>looks to skies, shakes fist</action> Lamburgerrrrrr!!!!!!!!!

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 04:17 PM

if I see a pair of elf/vulcan ears, I'm bolting as well.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
03/18/2005 04:23 PM

And if anyone asks me to show them my tits, I'm leaving!







Okay, that's a lie.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
03/18/2005 04:25 PM

Me: Um, I got some new slacks for the party.



Anybody else: Right on! Well, uh, I've got to go see a guy about a thing at the place...





Later:





Me: These Shirley Temples are wicked-strong, I'm feeling woozy.



Somebody different: Uhm, yeah. Good luck with that.







Later still:





Me: I made you a friendship bracelet, do you like it?



Another hapless soul: Who the hell are you?











The next morning:





Me: (groggy) Why am I in a park?



Homeless man: Those are nice slacks. Are they new?

Hammerhead 59,399 14
03/18/2005 04:27 PM

Yes, we clickied each other MADLY and we liked it!

Trixxie 65,026 15
03/18/2005 04:28 PM

Asking people to expose their naughty bits at Gabtogthers is kind of old. I see all flashing needs to be done in public to count.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 04:34 PM

Me: "Hey guys, Is this the NAMBLA conference?"



Anyone else: Who the Frost are y-- Oh. Nice tattoo *snicker*

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
03/18/2005 04:37 PM

What Al said. The second we meet in person we are no longer Gabbers. We are real humans. Any of you Frosters call me "Nutbutter" in person and I'll ask Mr. Dugan to send you a picture of his tits.

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 04:38 PM

We are real humans.



What about BobJohnson?

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/18/2005 04:39 PM

Real people? Frost it. I'm not going.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
03/18/2005 04:39 PM

we are no longer Gabbers



Wait, so Trixxie isn't a beautiful lady?

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
03/18/2005 04:45 PM

Here's a real one. You guys better figure out before then which Angela is Tabby and which is Roofie - she takes orders, I do not. Screw that up and you won't be shown much love by either of us.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/18/2005 04:45 PM

<action>has seen Dugan's bare tittayz. Shiny and wet. Glistening in the flourescent glow</action>



Yo. Ohio-ans. Pass me that gun.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
03/18/2005 04:47 PM

You guys better figure out before then which Angela is Tabby and which is Roofie - she takes orders, I do not. Screw that up and you won't be shown much love by either of us.



You'll do what we say and you'll be happy we give you the privilege.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/18/2005 04:47 PM

Wait...you mean we aren't just going to sit around with laptops talking to each other on ZUG?

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 37
03/18/2005 04:48 PM

I'll answer to my real name or my GAB name equally. I also like wearing a name tag with "Spicey McHaggis" on it. It confuses the normals. It should be even more fun now that I have the pink penis icon to put on the name tag.

Fillylicious 39,193 20
03/18/2005 04:48 PM

<action>points and laughs at Nut</action>Haha! Nutbutter's not getting anything!

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
03/18/2005 04:52 PM

Story of my life, Filly. Story of my life.

Frankie 161,353 14
03/18/2005 04:55 PM

I'm apprehensive about meeting GAB people in real life because in real life, I'm a huge talking lobster.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 04:56 PM

Someone wanna kick me in the direction of the Date/Location of this Shakespeare?



I wanna see if it coincides with my vacation time requested.



If so, I should be there.

I'll bring the green peppers.

Ditdah 123,102 14
03/18/2005 04:56 PM

So, who's the guy on the DDR mat???



IMPOSTER!!!

Ditdah 123,102 14
03/18/2005 04:57 PM

Hat - it hasn't been announced yet, but we are pretty sure it's in Boston sometime in June.



We are just huge dorks excited about a party that hasn't become offical yet because we have no lives.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
03/18/2005 04:58 PM

<action>hums the tuner for conjunction junction...</action>



Imposter Lobster,

who's on your roster...

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/18/2005 05:00 PM

A huge talking gay lobster?

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
03/18/2005 05:01 PM

<action> Steps out of his normally guarded "real" self</action>



ME: Hi Jeff. It's a real honor to meet you. Thanks for all of your hard work.

John: Go away, loser.







ME: Hi "Roofie" May I see your woman-love with "Tabby"?

Roofie: Go away, creep.







ME: Hi "Phuc" Let us have a PBR and Jack.

Phuc: Go away, whitey.







ME: Hi "Oliver Chest", I bought new slacks for this party!

TROC: Go away, square.







Who else is going?







*crawls back into shell*

The Mailman, workal poster 176,450 56
03/18/2005 05:04 PM

The second we meet in person we are no longer Gabbers. We are real humans. Any of you Frosters call me "Nutbutter" in person and I'll ask Mr. Dugan to send you a picture of his tits.



Me: Hi there, I'm Chris

Nutbutter: Hi, I'm Jim. So which one are you?

Me: Uhhh, ... I'm Chris

Nutbutter: I understand, but which one are you on GAB?

Me: Uhhh, ... I'm Chris

Nutbutter: Yes you told me that. But what's your nickname on GAB?

Me: Uhhh, ... I'm Chris

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/18/2005 05:04 PM

Don't feel Bad, Mr. Mister. I plan on being an Emerson to everyone.

Trixxie 65,026 15
03/18/2005 05:05 PM

I'm apprehensive about meeting GAB people in real life because in real life, I'm a huge talking lobster. That's okay, I'm a middle aged accountant with a wife 2.5 kids, a morgage and a SUV.

Fillylicious 39,193 20
03/18/2005 05:06 PM

<action>waves hand around</action>Ooooh, me! Me! I'm going!

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 05:07 PM

Oliver: Hey, how's it going? Nice day, huh?



Me: Ollie, please go put some pants on. You're embarassing yourself.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/18/2005 05:09 PM

2.5 kids



Two and a half? Does that mean you have half a kid? Or is CG's fake daughter really your daughter?

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/18/2005 05:09 PM

Dude, the pants joke was already made. By me. Second post.



I RULE!

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 05:14 PM

Ollie, everyone KNOWS you have a time machine. Copier.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/18/2005 05:30 PM

Yeah, it's been on the fritz though. I keep trying to make it go to when I lost my virginity, but I can't get it to go into the future.

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 05:31 PM

Maybe if you went back to when you ate all those twinkies, and went back to this morning and showered, you wouldn't have that problem.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/18/2005 05:58 PM

Sir, I don't drink Jack. It's either single malt or borboun. Maker's Mark or better.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
03/18/2005 06:09 PM

Have you tried Jackie D's Single Barrel? It is fine stuff.





I prefer good beers with single barrel bourbons, but when the wallet is dryer than my tongue, I can drink The Beast and Old Granddad.