The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,450 12
03/18/2005 12:38 PM

"And Mufftaur, do you take Anna Sue to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Bankey 70,843 10
03/18/2005 12:40 PM

Though Mufftaur didn't smoke, he could never turn down a fattie

Virnomine 79,379 11
03/18/2005 12:41 PM

A pig and a bull? I don't see the humor in that picture...

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 12:46 PM

"...authorities believe this is the last picture of little Susie McFatasserson. A trail of ding-dongs and hostess pies led into the woods...

Doogler 807 8
03/18/2005 12:47 PM

Wow...look at the belly button on that girl....its like her shirt was fitted around it.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
03/18/2005 12:47 PM

Thats my daughter.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 12:49 PM

Thats my daughter.



What do you feed her, lard?

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
03/18/2005 12:51 PM

She was born with an underactive thyroid.



She's on daily medication for it...sorry.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 12:52 PM

She was born with an underactive thyroid.



Yeah, sure, and TTJ's Daughter only has one arm...

Virnomine 79,379 11
03/18/2005 12:54 PM

Sure, and I'm big boned..

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/18/2005 12:55 PM

Oh Shakespeare. Chris, I'm really sorry.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 12:58 PM

Oh shuffle. Chris, I'm really sorry.



Bwahaha! You actually fell for that?

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
03/18/2005 01:08 PM

Really.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 01:11 PM

Oh.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/18/2005 01:14 PM

Chris,



Thanks for emailing me the picture. I believed you before so you didn't have to send it, but thanks again. I figured I'd step over the line here at some point and it looks like I finally did it. Again, I'm so very sorry.



Fratberry

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 01:15 PM

Damn, you guys are EmersonS. I'm glad I punched that girl in the uterus so I don't have kids you can berate.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 01:17 PM

<action>closes photoshop...</action>

turtle10 41,927 26
03/18/2005 01:18 PM

you should giver HER a mowhawk next.

dropkick brody 43,075 12
03/18/2005 01:18 PM

Okay I fell for the 'chickens is dead thing' so I'm a little more wary when GABbers say something which could be the truth.



*thanks all her gods she made no jokes, just in case*

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 01:28 PM

Best. Thread. Ever.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
03/18/2005 01:30 PM

I normally don't complain, but I don't think this was right at all.



I admit, this is a comedy board, and there have been worse things, hell, there have been worse things that I have posted and participated in. BUT, they were all things that were put on the plate, to be MADE fun of.



This is different. This is something that someone went and looked for on their own, and thought it would be funny to post making fun of a little girl's medical problem. Granted, you didn't know there was a underlying problem, you just assumed she was naturally fat. But I guess that doesn't matter, right? As long as you got your clicks, all is cool, right? I have to deal with this with her school at least once a week, I didn't know I would have to deal with it on a comedy board, among people who I consider as friends.



That is all.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 01:32 PM

Mufftaur Mad.

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 01:33 PM

At least you won't have to worry about too many teenage boyfriends.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 01:34 PM

Granted, you didn't know there was a underlying problem



Dude, we didn't even know it was really your daughter.



I wonder if Chance's Dad gets this pissy...

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,450 12
03/18/2005 01:40 PM

I don't care if it is your daughter. I'd still Frost the fat little bitch.

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 01:41 PM

Ollie, you Frost-ing rock.

Virnomine 79,379 11
03/18/2005 01:44 PM

I'm fat, I've never hidden that, I was fat in school I had to deal with that. I know how it feels to be made fun of when you're fat, no one cares if it's because of medical conditions of overeating. The only reason I said anything is because I've learned to deal with it. A fat person insulting a fat person means nothing.



Just like on Seinfeld, you can only get away with Jew jokes if you are a Jew.

Phla Mignonalcoholic 130,632 34
03/18/2005 01:46 PM

<action>'s stove is on</action>



Silly wabbit, Prozac is for kids!

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 01:46 PM

I Frosted a fat chick once. It was kinda gross.



Oh, who am I kidding, I've Frosted a Shakespeareload of fat chicks.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,450 12
03/18/2005 01:46 PM

What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?



A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,450 12
03/18/2005 01:47 PM

Oh, I'm not Jewish.

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 01:48 PM

know any fat jew jokes?

Doogler 807 8
03/18/2005 01:48 PM

Just like on Seinfeld, you can only get away with Jew jokes if you are a Jew.



So I gotta convert to being a fat dentist before I say more fat jokes...well thats not fair.







Fat Ass

Aimless the Worm Goddess 54,807 10
03/18/2005 01:54 PM

Personally Chris, if that is your daughter I think she's adorable.

























What??? Even Daggy is sober once in a while, I can be nice.

Aimless the Worm Goddess 54,807 10
03/18/2005 01:57 PM

Seriously though, considering what their father looks like you have cute kids.



















Wait, you are the father...right?

Livewire 78,229 12
03/18/2005 01:59 PM

Aimless: That's a costume.

Doogler 807 8
03/18/2005 02:00 PM

The fat suit on the kid?

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,450 12
03/18/2005 02:01 PM

I know, the kid is kinda cute. I see a belly like that and I wanna give her a red t-shirt and paint some eyes and a smile on it, and teach her to say "Hey Kids! It's Kool-aid time!"



Also she would break through a wall. And she could, cause she's fat.

dropkick brody 43,075 12
03/18/2005 02:01 PM

I was going to say that no one would have made the jokes if they had knew who she really was, but looking at the barrage of jokes that came after your admission...



Lets just say my picture is NEVER going into the albumn.

Spicey McHaggis 114,978 33
03/18/2005 02:04 PM

C'mon, Brody. Submit your picture. It won't be so bad. The pain goes away eventually.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/18/2005 02:07 PM

You just have to keep on with your Shakespeare, huh Ollie? I Frosted up and did something wrong and I apologized for it and I feel like Shakespeare. You, on the other hand, feel a need to continue trying to be funny about something that, quite honestly, is not. You need to stop and you need to get some help if you think you're being cute.



God, what an Emerson.

Shazza 14,124 11
03/18/2005 02:08 PM

Call me crazy & insensitive, but I am calling mufftaurShakespeare. You've not once mentioned the daughter, all child related posts have centered around the son.



Either you're ashamed of her or I am one insensitive prick.

Aimless the Worm Goddess 54,807 10
03/18/2005 02:11 PM

I'll take "insensitive prick" for 100 Alex.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 02:11 PM

RAWR!!!

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
03/18/2005 02:12 PM

No..not ashamed at all.



I've mentioned her a few times.....just not as much...she's a momma's girl.



My son simply is alot more outgoing, and likes to do alot more.

Ditdah 123,092 14
03/18/2005 02:13 PM

And he lets you shave his head.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/18/2005 02:13 PM

better than the personalized icon argument



<action>pulls up chair, sits down, shrugs...</action>

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,232 10
03/18/2005 02:13 PM

I find it odd that everyone just assumes making fun of an innocent little girls weight is ok as long as it's not Chris's daughter.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,450 12
03/18/2005 02:14 PM

Ok, my funniest post is about an actual dead baby. If I didn't feel like I have to defend that, what make you think I'm even going to defend my comments about CG's kid being a fat heffer?



It's not my fault you were a dick and posted a picture of CG's baby beluga whale.



CG has been a dick too. I'm not the only Emerson here.



Frost off.

Bankey 70,843 10
03/18/2005 02:15 PM

best.capcon.evar.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 02:17 PM

My son simply is alot more outgoing, and likes to do alot more.



I'm surprised he has the time to do anything but fight his sister for food...

Spicey McHaggis 114,978 33
03/18/2005 02:22 PM

Oy vey. I don't think Frat was in the wrong. He found a picture he thought was worth captioning then posted it with a rather innocuous caption. It may be inconsiderate to make fun of a friend's daughter (even an Internet friend, and assuming that Chris isn't yanking our chains, which is entirely possible), but we do that crap all the time here.



As it is, I will try to defray any further hurt feelings by offering myself up as a sacrifice.



Caption Aweigh

Shazza 14,124 11
03/18/2005 02:23 PM

RAWWWR

Phuc 237,453 20
03/18/2005 02:24 PM

The correct spelling is h-e-i-f-f-e-r.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
03/18/2005 02:25 PM

I just wanted to say one more thing about this whole thread...









I don't HAVE a daughter....I don't know who that little flesh barge is!!



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!



I figure a little break-up of the "Bitchy Auction" threads was in order.



You may photoshop the little swine all you like.



Thanks for playing along, Ollie, Frat, and Kake.



I now will be spending the next hour clicking the HELL out of ALL of your posts.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,450 12
03/18/2005 02:26 PM

Jesus, Spicey. Did you eat the rest of the hula girls?

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 02:26 PM

Thank you for saving us from all the frigging Icon threads. At least for a couple minutes.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/18/2005 02:26 PM

It's not my fault you were a dick and posted a picture of CG's baby beluga whale.



Oh, so your comments are now somehow my fault. Listen up you retard, you aren't blameless in this. I may have started the Shakespeare but I stopped. And I didn't know that was his daughter. How could I? Because they're both fat? Is that the assumption you made?



Put your helmet back on. Of course, its not like you've got antyhing of real value to protect anyway. Bitch.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/18/2005 02:27 PM

Um...nevermind.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 02:27 PM

<action>makes a look-up motion</action>Ahem, Frat...

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,450 12
03/18/2005 02:28 PM

Hey Frat. Umm, the gig is up. Why you gotta be like that?

Spicey McHaggis 114,978 33
03/18/2005 02:28 PM

Does that mean I have to start my own caption thread for me now? I'm far too lazy for that.

Aimless the Worm Goddess 54,807 10
03/18/2005 02:28 PM

Screw you Chris, SCREW YOU AND YOUR BIG FAT KID TOO.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,450 12
03/18/2005 02:29 PM

<action> runs away crying

PuggyD 48,295 12
03/18/2005 02:29 PM

Ok, you know what CG? This is like that famous parable. You know, "The Boy Who cried 'fat daughter!'"



And then when he really DID have a fat daughter no one believed him.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/18/2005 02:30 PM

Um, thanks for the heads up, Chris.

PuggyD 48,295 12
03/18/2005 02:31 PM

...and consequences were dire! Relatives never gave her any Christmas presents because they didn't believe she existed, so she drowned her sorrow by devouring entire Gingerbread House villages.



To say nothing of the whole "school enrollment/cafeteria rampage" debacle. Fishsticks EVERYWHERE.

Spicey McHaggis 114,978 33
03/18/2005 02:32 PM

Chris Garrett has have just proven again that he is the balls.



Kinda makes sense. Someone who gives his son a mohawk would probably also dress his fat daughter as a pig for Halloween.

PuggyD 48,295 12
03/18/2005 02:35 PM

I'd like to respectfully submit my late caption:



"Red bull may give you wings, but day-um that fatty fat fatty is gonna need herself a friggin' Rocketeer to lift her ass anywheres."

Bankey 70,843 10
03/18/2005 02:36 PM

Now that we know she isn't CG's daughter it's classy to poke fun, right?

newwave 45,912 9
03/18/2005 02:37 PM

She might not be his daughter, but she is my girlfriend, so stop with the insensitive jokes, OK?

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 02:37 PM

This post's sole purpose is to collect a clickie from CG.

Lamburger 33,017 9
03/18/2005 02:38 PM

"In Chick-fil-a's continuing campaign to Eat Mor Chicken, this cow spokesperson poses with yet another victim of the burger industry."

Livewire 78,229 12
03/18/2005 02:39 PM

Dammit Chris! I've been totally Punk'd. And so has everyone else. Everyone give Garrett his props.

PuggyD 48,295 12
03/18/2005 02:41 PM

"At the mascot convention, Oldies 104's famed red bull poses for a picture with the Michelin Tire Man."

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/18/2005 02:42 PM

We did it! Yippieeee!!!

Bankey 70,843 10
03/18/2005 02:43 PM

Props to Ollie, Frat, and Kake too! Nice scam.







Asshats.

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,232 10
03/18/2005 02:43 PM

Dammit Chris! I've been totally Punk'd. And so has everyone else. Everyone give Garrett his props.



Ok.









Chris



I have as much respect for you as I do for Ashton Kutcher.



Demo

Doogler 807 8
03/18/2005 02:44 PM

I say we all should still continue to think its CGs kid. Unstoppable hilarity will ensue.

Livewire 78,229 12
03/18/2005 02:46 PM

"Wings schmings. Red Bull gave me head lice."

PuggyD 48,295 12
03/18/2005 02:47 PM

Psst, Livewire... they're called crabs.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/18/2005 02:47 PM

better than the personalized icon argument



Things haven't changed

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
03/18/2005 02:51 PM

Oh..and by the way Frat:



And I didn't know that was his daughter. How could I? Because they're both fat?



I was born with an underactive thyroid...I take daily medication for it...sorry.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/18/2005 02:53 PM

Don't you start that Shakespeare with me.

Bankey 70,843 10
03/18/2005 02:58 PM

It's true. He e-mailed me a picture of his thyroid and it's just sitting there, playing x-box and eating an apple fritter.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/18/2005 03:24 PM

Ok, that's the funniest thing I've read all day.

SpecialKake smells like Guinness and Jameson's 55,555 14
03/18/2005 03:27 PM

Frat, I almost posted the same thing, but I didn't want to suck bankey's dick too badly.

Bankey 70,843 10
03/18/2005 03:28 PM

I didn't want to suck bankey's dick too badly.



God you sound like my wife.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/18/2005 03:28 PM

Meh, you get used to it.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/18/2005 03:29 PM

WAS THAT OUT LOUD???

Shazza 14,124 11
03/18/2005 03:51 PM

Don't forget that I called MufftaurShakespeare!

I coined a new gab term. Use it and use it often.



I accept apologies in the form of pee ---------------------------->

Space Admiral BobO'Brien 177,873 22
03/18/2005 04:09 PM

That was pretty funny pretending she's your daughter, but you took it too far.



I mean, please return her to her real parents.

Herr Nachos 57,478 23
03/18/2005 04:25 PM

Dammit Chris! I've been totally Punk'd. And so has everyone else



Apart from the small fact that, due to the 'wonderful eccentricitites' of Gab, everyone new to this thread will actually come into it at the bottom...

Chit Eating Grin 178,088 15
03/18/2005 05:18 PM

I just read through this thread and wan't to congratulate you Mr. Garrett for catching me hook line and sinker.



Now I have to ask you, are you about 4'8" tall ?

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
03/18/2005 06:21 PM

bump for the evening shift.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/18/2005 06:40 PM

I like how BFB fell for me faking like I was falling for it.



Or something like that.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,450 12
03/18/2005 06:43 PM

I like how Fartburpy KEPT BEING MEAN TO ME!!!

Spicey McHaggis 114,978 33
03/18/2005 06:47 PM

I like how Oliver asked me if I ate the rest of the hula girls.



'Cause I did.



*burp*

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
03/18/2005 06:51 PM

100th TO POST!

Hammerhead 59,398 14
03/18/2005 07:04 PM

Ollie lost his icon!

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 07:16 PM

I like how BFB fell for me faking like I was falling for it.



Even better since I knew too...

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
03/18/2005 07:20 PM

I think he meant post #13...before you knew.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 9
03/18/2005 07:23 PM

before you knew.



Quiet, Bullboy...

The Proud Barbarian Snork 45,631 12
03/18/2005 07:43 PM

I like how Shamu Oliver makes fun of fat people.

Arthur Dent 6,902 11
03/18/2005 07:56 PM

I just read through the whole thing. Funniest thread in a while that's for sure. Frost-ing Hilarious. Fat people are always funny.

millie 116,854 28
03/18/2005 11:43 PM

I believed it more than I did that one about HP and Spicey de-virginating each other. Which is to say, I didn't really believe it.



(This thread was a lot funnier, too.)

Doogler 807 8
03/19/2005 12:17 AM

I want to bump this just so I know that everyone here got to see that ugly fat kid with a belly button that seems to be a black hole.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/19/2005 12:20 AM

Its like a little mini goatse.



'cept diff'rnt.

SpecialKake 55,555 14
03/19/2005 12:26 AM

I wish we could put that in the photo album, under the name Chris Garrett's fat daughter.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/19/2005 01:23 AM

Roofie, can you do that? Because that would be awesome.

SpecialKake 55,555 14
03/19/2005 11:17 AM

I think there might be some legal problems with claiming a young girl as someone else's daughter. Even if she's a fat loser no one would want anyways.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 9
03/19/2005 11:26 AM

There is enough weird Chris Garret material for a whole other album. That man (and all things related to him) is a visual cornucopia of funny.

Chickens, the Sniper 282,028 58
03/19/2005 05:58 PM

Girl looks at Mufftar, "YAH LOOK TASTY. GET. IN. MAH. BELLY."

jobusrum 0 7
05/01/2005 03:37 AM

A thread of genius. Jobu like very much.

SteroidsAreForWinners 10 8
05/01/2005 08:22 AM

I normaly lurk (ok always), but for a moment I thought you had the youngest pregnant girl ever.







In america a women gives birth to a child every 10 minutes.



I say we find the bitch and kill her.

Pistolet 10,061 9
05/01/2005 02:32 PM

More proof that God hates me: even his tits are bigger than mine.

newwave 45,912 9
05/02/2005 01:41 AM

I thought you had the youngest pregnant girl ever.



Yeah, not quite.

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
06/07/2005 05:59 PM

It really wasn't that hard to find.







Oh, and it's still Frost-ing hilarious.

Fratberry 277,318 52
06/07/2005 06:02 PM

So. Awesome.

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,450 12
06/07/2005 06:05 PM

Heh.

Chris Garrett, or CG 86,932 12
06/07/2005 06:07 PM

I agree...heh.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
06/07/2005 06:10 PM

I agree, too...I don't care if it is your daughter. I'd still Frost the fat little bitch.

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,450 12
06/07/2005 06:12 PM

It'll be nice having friends in hell with me.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,270 9
06/07/2005 06:16 PM

Heh, Beautiful.





Chris GarretT is the Proverbial Balls.

Kake 55,555 14
06/07/2005 06:23 PM

Bankey's "playing x-box and eating an apple fritter." comment is still one of the funniest posts ever. Did Spicey ever get his hula capcon?

jepreport - premature articulator 58,563 13
06/07/2005 06:34 PM

You know, on March 18th, I was still battling hallucinatory leprechauns from the St Patrick's Day Massacre the day before. I somehow missed this thread as a result. Periodically though, I would see people make comments about Chris's fat daughter and I would just cringe. I could never go and read up on it at all because I could not imagine people making fun of my kids if they had some sort of medical condition so I just could not stomach reading other people making fun of someone else's that I know (or cyber-know anyway). Every time someone made a joke at Chris's daughter's expense I just thought that they were the biggest Emerson in the world. Now I know that not only are they not Emersons, Chris, Frat and Kake are pure comic geniuses! My God, after finally reading that thread, I think I might have to add Garrett to the top of my favorite Gabber list even though I don't participate in those kinds of things.

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,450 12
06/07/2005 06:43 PM

Well Frost you too, Jep!

Rep. Jep Rep. 007 58,563 13
06/07/2005 08:22 PM

Sorry Ollie, You're quite the genius as well. I just thought that in your case, it was a given.

Oliver Chest, M.D. 203,450 12
06/07/2005 08:25 PM

<action> scoffs



Well, naturally.

Fratberry 277,318 52
06/07/2005 11:22 PM

Chris, Frat and Kake are pure comic geniuses!



w00t.

Mr. Sir 66,708 9
06/08/2005 02:50 PM

Good link, Dick.

Ditdah, back to 'normal' 123,092 14
09/11/2005 06:03 PM

Bump - because I'm bored and this is a funny ass thread.

Mwahiy: The Bitter, Sexually Frustrated One 5,425 8
09/11/2005 06:08 PM

Thats my daughter.











I call Shenanigans!

Mwahiy: The Bitter, Sexually Frustrated One 5,425 8
09/11/2005 06:14 PM

Oh, snap!

Ditdah, back to 'normal' 123,092 14
09/11/2005 06:24 PM

Slow reader, huh?

Mwahiy: The Bitter, Sexually Frustrated One 5,425 8
09/11/2005 06:46 PM

Huh?

Fratberry 277,318 52
11/23/2005 01:18 AM

How is it that Phuc isn't part of one of the funniest threads ever?

Oliver Chest: Poop Factory 203,450 12
12/21/2005 01:50 PM

<action>hugs thread</action>I remember when GAB was funny. It's like it was yesterday.

Fratberry 277,318 52
12/21/2005 02:12 PM

Please stop humping my leg.

Oliver Chest: Poop Factory 203,450 12
12/21/2005 02:15 PM

No.

Fratberry 277,318 52
12/21/2005 02:16 PM

<action>leans into it</action>

Ok then.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
12/21/2005 02:43 PM

Funniest line in the whole thread?





Oliver-"I'd still Frost the fat little bitch."

Ditdah Von Teese 123,092 14
12/21/2005 02:58 PM

Stop trying to take credit for other people's funny lines.



And how's come you're never around when I'm talking about you?

Pen15 84 6
02/24/2006 04:40 PM

Meatloaf wrote the song "I would do anything for love, but I wont do that" about a Rusty Trombone

Pen15 84 6
02/24/2006 04:42 PM

Damn. Im a newborn

Chit Eating Grin 178,088 15
02/24/2006 05:03 PM

Funniest line in the whole thread?





Oliver-"I'd still Frost the fat little bitch."





I don't know, I liked Virn's, "Sure, and I'm big boned."

Tweak 18,876 11
01/26/2007 08:00 PM

Bump for 2007!

Not sure why.

Lucky Charms 171,220 14
01/27/2007 11:26 AM

Heh. Good times, good times.

It's true. He e-mailed me a picture of his thyroid and it's just sitting there, playing x-box and eating an apple fritter.

My husband has just read gab for the first time because I snotted on the monitor.

I must kill him now. Hey Dave, wanna make 50 bucks?

Pram 78,178 40
01/27/2007 11:37 AM

<action>looks at the picture</action>

Noooo honey, don't do it, the Bloods are bad people!

Dave 52,810 16
01/31/2007 02:36 PM

I'll send over a price list.

notspecialkake 49 6
03/31/2007 02:45 AM

I'd still bang her.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 9
08/19/2007 11:12 PM

Bump. New people need to know what the phrase "fat daughter" means.

Humphrey 51,759 12
08/20/2007 09:11 AM

The apple fritter / xbox line is still the highlight for me.

Oh Bankey, why hast thou forsaken us?






Oh yeah... Frat has you strapped to a wall in his basement.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
08/20/2007 11:01 AM

It looks like PuggyD was the first to suggest "Fat Daughter" as the new shenanigans.

I miss ole Puggy and his size 13 Chuck Taylors. Not to mention Mufftaur himself. What did they do, get lives or something?

The Rev. Big Irish Guy, Jr. 203,777 21
12/19/2007 01:33 AM

Hahahahahahaha, this is still funny.

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy, Jr. 203,777 21
05/28/2009 12:33 AM

I don't care that I'm just bumping old threads. This is a must read for GABbers.

McPants 19,546 10
05/28/2009 12:42 PM

Thanks, BIG, I love this. And I like that 'fat daughter' has made it into my everyday vocabulary now.

Have you found the 'taglines' one?

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy, Jr. 203,777 21
05/28/2009 01:04 PM

The taglines thread where everyone made fun of Jade?


And by everyone I mostly mean Ollie, Erika, and I.

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy, Jr. 203,777 21
05/28/2009 01:09 PM

Now with linking technology.

McPants 19,546 10
05/28/2009 01:10 PM

Brilliant.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/17/2010 12:47 PM

I can't believe that photo is still there. Read it and weep, n00bs.

Earl Harbinger 404 8
03/17/2010 04:27 PM

The first thing that popped into my head when I saw that was "pedobull".

Big Irish Self Nipple Licker 22,212 16
03/17/2010 04:42 PM

I just got done looking this thread over, and I have noticed something here that I've noticed on other older threads also.


Either ZUGGERS/LIVERS/GABBERS were much more generous with clickies just 5 years ago, or there used to be many more LIVERS/GABBERS/ZUGGINITES.

Because the most mundane, unfunny posts got 32 clikies.

Now-a-days even when Whistler or Mailman or anyone hits one out of the park, they are lucky to get 30 clickies.

WTF?

It must be because of the different formats. Because really 42 clickies for typing "No"?

WTF? Indeed.

Frogpop 173,113 25
03/17/2010 04:51 PM

It's just a five year old thread that keeps getting bumped. End of mystery.

Big Irish Self Nipple Licker 22,212 16
03/17/2010 04:53 PM

Not just this thread, or even recently bumped threads. Its seems like most old threads got much more clickies then todays.

If I werent so damn lazy I'd search for one and bump it but Frost all that Shakespeare.

TopHatSnake 3,138 10
03/17/2010 05:03 PM

holy Frost! where the hell did frat find a picture of my cousin Natalie?!?!?!??

this picture was taken 6 years ago, shortly thereafter her parents got divorced and it caused her emotional trauma, which led to a serious weight gain




HOW. THE. Frost?

TopHatSnake 3,138 10
03/17/2010 05:24 PM

The irony of this is just insane. I looked at the original pic, and immediatly scrolled down to post, then went back to read the thread. Un-Frost-ing-believable.

Nachos 57,478 23
03/17/2010 07:34 PM

just got done looking this thread over, and I have noticed something here that I've noticed on other older threads also.


Either ZUGGERS/LIVERS/GABBERS were much more generous with clickies just 5 years ago, or there used to be many more LIVERS/GABBERS/ZUGGINITES.

Because the most mundane, unfunny posts got 32 clikies.

Now-a-days even when Whistler or Mailman or anyone hits one out of the park, they are lucky to get 30 clickies.

WTF?

It must be because of the different formats. Because really 42 clickies for typing "No"?

WTF? Indeed.

Back then the ratings system was different; instead of a sliding scale of humour, there was only the ability to rate posts as 'funny' (the clickie), 'not funny' (the maha) or neutral (unrated) and each vote was worth a count of one, meaning that each user could only rate a post singularly. Since clickie ratings were recorded separately from maha ratings, we'll ignore these for the moment, but when John introduced the ability to rate different increments of humour he decided to make existing clickies the equivalent of a 'hilarious' or 4-orb rating.

This means that any pre-incremental posts with an overall rating of 32 that have not been rated since the new method was introduced were only in fact rated 8 times.

In addition the community was more tightly-knit during that period than it is now, leading to the concept of auto-clicking (basically users were clicking every post of the people they liked, or deluded themselves into thinking that they had a chance of sleeping with), which moderately skewed the ratings and made them unrepresentative. As the user base has increased, the overall level of community has lessened somewhat, as has this phenomenon.

So there's your 'Frost' right there.

Frogpop 173,113 25
03/17/2010 08:45 PM

This means that any pre-incremental posts with an overall rating of 32 that have not been rated since the new method was introduced were only in fact rated 8 times.

32 zugz, but not 32 votes. Each otto converted as a single vote 4-zug.

Here Comes Peter Cotton TWSS 26,020 24
03/17/2010 09:55 PM

Jesus Frost-ing Christ Shemp will you stop whining about the clickies? When you're funny you'll get them. STFU already.

Semper Fidelis Tyrannotacosaurus 61,959 36
03/17/2010 11:53 PM

32 zugz, but not 32 votes. Each otto converted as a single vote 4-zug.

But they do have 32 votes or whatever. The system doesn't count individual zugs in threads, it counts them in your profile.

The reason these people have 32 votes on a single post you don't think is "funny" is a small part autoclicking but mostly because you are wrong. There weren't "more" people necessarily on GAB but they were a more active and regularly/better contributing community that actually took the time to rate other users posts. Granted, a lot of interactivity with the rating (like being able to tel someone they're an unfunny piece of Shakespeare with a simple mouse click) has faded.

Semper Fidelis Tyrannotacosaurus 61,959 36
03/18/2010 12:10 AM

The taglines thread where everyone made fun of Jade?

That thread has one of my earliest posts in it. I was a bitch then too!

Big Irish Straw 95,470 36
03/18/2010 12:17 AM

TopHatSnake - there is a similarity, but I was just saying the other day that I am at the age where it seems like there's a finite number of faces and everyone I see seems to remind me of someone I've seen before.

Does she live in a town where there's an Oldies 104?

Frogpop 173,113 25
03/18/2010 01:12 PM

original thread + 4 more bumps in 2005 + 1 bump each year since then = Yes, in 6 years we can count on having had at least 1 or 2 hundred users read the thread, at least 30 of whom got something funny out of each of those old posts.

auto-clicking did happen, and we used to have a larger daytime qabbing-from-work crowd, but really this thread is just old and a bit of a town bicycle to boot.

Big Irish Self Nipple Licker 22,212 16
03/18/2010 01:12 PM

Jesus Frost-ing Christ Shemp will you stop whining about the clickies? When you're funny you'll get them. STFU already.



Um, ok.


I wasnt whining about clickies. I didnt even mention myself in my post. So I think the one who needs to STFU is you.


I mentioned two of the truely funny people of ZUG, Whistler and Mailman. They make awesome threads and they dont even get close to the clickies that unfunny bullShakespeare used to seem get here. So again, it is you who needs to STFU.


Yeah, I know I'm not funny, though I hope to be some day.



I have no idea where you get the idea that I was whining about clickies for myself in this post. Or 99% of my other post, besides my self nipple licking post. And Ill admit I was a whiny little Poe on that one. I should of known better.



Maybe you should go back and reread my post above, or better yet learn how to retain what you read because you are waaay off the mark here.

Big Irish Self Nipple Licker 22,212 16
03/18/2010 01:18 PM

Thank you for 'splainin' Nachos.


My 'Frost' is now sastified.

Here Comes Peter Cotton TWSS 26,020 24 gets out her violin
03/18/2010 01:20 PM

What the hell are you talking about? The 2 funniest posters this month, and last month, and I wasn't here but probably the month before that, WERE Mailman and Whistler. So now I'm confused, why are you bitching again?

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/18/2010 01:24 PM

Take this to another thread. Do not ruin this one.

Big Irish Self Nipple Licker 22,212 16
03/18/2010 01:33 PM

What the hell are you talking about? The 2 funniest posters this month, and last month, and I wasn't here but probably the month before that, WERE Mailman and Whistler. So now I'm confused, why are you bitching again?


I dont know.

Im all confused now.

Please hold me.







BTW: Nice violin.

Big Irish Self Nipple Licker 22,212 16
03/18/2010 03:04 PM

Actually, Id like to aplogize to you TWSS.

I was listening to Slayer when I made that post. So I was being a bit more aggressive then normal.

I didnt mean to say STFU.

What I mean to say was SUYT.

RavosComedyGod 62,361 20
03/18/2010 10:05 PM

Jeez, with that attitude I would have figured you were listening to fall out boy and being more emo than usual.

Big Irish Self Nipple Licker 22,212 16
03/19/2010 09:21 AM

Only Emo I know of is Emo Philips.


My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

Here Comes Peter Cotton TWSS 26,020 24
03/19/2010 09:23 AM

Ohh.. you don't want to see my tits. Not since the incident...

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/19/2010 09:28 AM

Some people here think scar tissue is sexy.

Here Comes Peter Cotton TWSS 26,020 24
03/19/2010 10:07 AM

Yeah but hair?

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/19/2010 10:14 AM

Some like shag carpets, some like hardwood floors...

RavosComedyGod 62,361 20
03/22/2010 12:13 AM

Personally, I'm a fan of linoleum.

Hydrant-monkey 9,447 21
03/22/2010 12:42 AM

Yeah but hair?

I read that as "yea Butt hair!" I was thinking, if she likes butt hair, she'll LOVE me!

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/22/2010 12:49 AM

Some people here think scar tissue is sexy.

Oh yeaaaaaaaaah.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/22/2010 12:50 AM

I mean, eeeeeeewwwww, that's gross. What?