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It's been a while since I submitted an article. Does anyone remember my classic "5 articles in 5 days"?
I challenged GABbers to give me 5 article titles and then I wrote articles matching those titles and submitted them. 4 of them were rejected by John so I had to start regular threads for them. . . but still. . . I enjoyed that. Because I was very, very, very bored.
Anyway, I've decided to do it again. Although this time the rules will be slightly different:
Assuming there are more than five responses, I will pick 5 suggestions from this thread on Monday, March 21st. By Friday I will have submitted 5 articles matching those titles.
To make it interesting, for each one that gets rejected, I will donate $25 U.S. to either the GAB party or a legitimate charity. (The person who gave me the title of the rejected article can choose where the money goes). Be fair, Chi-Chi.
And, yes, you're right, I did decide to do this today because I was jealous of multiple Chi-Chi articles being bumped.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
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The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475  12
03/18/2005 05:47 PM
Herpes: A Blessing or a Curse?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157122
Frankie 161,353 14
03/18/2005 05:48 PM
"World Domination: The Canadian Way"
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157124
The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/18/2005 05:48 PM
Jesus: He only exists as a guy that mows my yard
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Side-splitting
9 votes
5.0
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DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
03/18/2005 05:50 PM
"What Men REALLY Know About Women."
Wait. What's the minimum length for articles?
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Side-splitting
16 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157129
Mr. Sir 66,718 9
03/18/2005 05:51 PM
Underwear: A good idea, or merely a suggestion?
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
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Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 05:52 PM
"How To: A Cat Milking Adventure"
(Frat, Feel free to counter..)
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157132
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/18/2005 05:52 PM
Age Of Consent: Is it Fair She has to be Older than My Scotch?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157133
Mr. Sir 66,718 9
03/18/2005 05:53 PM
She said no.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
03/18/2005 05:55 PM
Things You Should Never, Ever, EVER Do While Drunk.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157138
newwave 45,912 10
03/18/2005 05:56 PM
"Top 10 Worst Ways To Die"
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Side-splitting
12 votes
5.0
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/18/2005 05:58 PM
Personalized Icons: The day Zug Died
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.4
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Fratberry 282,931 53
03/18/2005 05:58 PM
"Why Fat Kids Are Funny"
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157146
The Mailman, workal poster 176,450 56
03/18/2005 06:00 PM
"How my sense of fashion made me awesome", by Bob Johnson
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Side-splitting
13 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157147
Fratberry 282,931 53
03/18/2005 06:00 PM
"Neck Tattoos: How To Lock In That Job At Domino's"
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157148
No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
03/18/2005 06:01 PM
Chloroform and duct tape: or
How to pick up chicks the BobJohnson way
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Hilarious
17 votes
4.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157150
Frankie 161,353 14
03/18/2005 06:01 PM
"'Will Epsiode III Suck?' and Other Questions With Obvious Answers"
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
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Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 06:04 PM
"Helmets on Retards: Fashion or Safety?"
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157154
The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/18/2005 06:04 PM
Bob, please email checking be to.
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157155
Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 06:05 PM
Damn, I thought "Why Fat Kids Are Funny" was your rebuttal.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157156
Shazza 14,124 11
03/18/2005 06:05 PM
Of Evian, Escada and Post-it Notes: A day in the life of Professional Secretary
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157164
Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 06:14 PM
"Geriotica: Cruisin' for chicks at the local Retirement Community."
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Funny
5 votes
3.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157166
Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 06:17 PM
"Zero Productivity: An In-Depth look into the BobJohnson Article process."
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157168
The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
03/18/2005 06:19 PM
Bob Johnson, if you don't check your damn email and respond, I'm taking you off my Christmas card list.
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157175
Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 06:25 PM
"Shut the Frost up: Knowing When to do so."
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Side-splitting
17 votes
5.0
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Fratberry 282,931 53
03/18/2005 06:27 PM
Bob Johnson, if you don't check your damn email and respond, I'm taking you off my Christmas card list.
That'd make a pretty Shakespearety article.
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Hilarious
16 votes
4.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157180
Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 06:31 PM
"Empty Threats: Why BobJohnson ignores Oliver."
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 06:34 PM
"Tiger Balm and the Scrotum, A Bittersweet Romance."
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0 votes
0.0
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Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 06:35 PM
These are so easy.
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0 votes
0.0
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Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 06:37 PM
<action> coughs... </action>
"These are so easy: Your Best Buddy's and Their little sisters."
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0 votes
0.0
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PrincessBritt 4,730 9
03/18/2005 06:42 PM
Charity Nazis: Why They Keep Calling Your Office Even After You Told Them You Don't Want To Participate.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157201
Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/18/2005 06:57 PM
"Rock the Casbah was without a doubt the Gayest Clash song ever."
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Out Of The Silent Snork 45,655 12
03/18/2005 07:29 PM
Farts.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157226
Captain Dan's Sea Legs 44,452 11
03/18/2005 07:31 PM
- Gay Paris: How Orlando Bloom ruins any movies he's involved with
- A History of Canada, Chapter 5: 51st State
- Tralfamadorean Women: as nonsensical as Earth women
- Hardcore Stick Figure Pornography, with a cameo by Margaret Trudeau
- Michael Jackson: You'd do it too if you were in his shoes
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Side-splitting
18 votes
5.0
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Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
03/18/2005 09:25 PM
"The story about that one time when I ran over that dog and the blood went "Pssssshhhhhhhh" and the little boy on the side of the road saw it and started crying so I walked over to him and put my arm around him and with my other arm I pulled out a boxcutter and slit his throat and also I want to talk about this hot chick I saw the other day."
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
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EmpLloyd 48,662 14
03/19/2005 12:43 AM
"Stuff I know about things"
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157409
Fillylicious 39,193 20
03/19/2005 12:44 AM
Nut's sounds like something Nerd would say.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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EmpLloyd 48,662 14
03/19/2005 12:45 AM
"The first time I saw my mother naked."
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0 votes
0.0
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Fillylicious 39,193 20
03/19/2005 12:46 AM
Following Lloyd's..."Things I would like to block from my memory."
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157412
SpecialKake 55,555 14
03/19/2005 12:47 AM
The best poop I ever had.
She-Males: Chicks with dicks? Or dudes with boobs?
Time Dialation in Relativistic Physics
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157415
SpecialKake 55,555 14
03/19/2005 12:50 AM
Rohypnol Absorption rates in the Adolescent Female
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Side-splitting
9 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157468
Jopeck 395 8
03/19/2005 01:44 AM
"No: Does It Really Mean No?"
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157697
Jopeck 395 8
03/19/2005 04:21 PM
"Why Your Taste In Music Sucks"
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1157984
Livewire 78,229 13
03/20/2005 03:11 AM
Two Articles In One Day: Livewire's Greatest Triumph
follwed by:
Livewire is a Cruel and Pompous Git
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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bignorm 874 9
03/20/2005 09:22 AM
Carnie-riffic: Best things about working at the state fair
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1158031
Shoogagoogagunga 77,546 17
03/20/2005 10:08 AM
"Why erections are good for the heart"
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1158094
Derpa DESTROYER OF WORLDS!!! 375 8
03/20/2005 03:09 PM
"The first time I saw my mother naked."
"And liked it."
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0 votes
0.0
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Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
03/20/2005 03:40 PM
Those are mighty big words from someone who was supposed to have a comedic write-off with me but hasn't yet.
I'm not talking to anyone in particular.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1158119
Captain Dan's Sea Legs 44,452 11
03/20/2005 03:46 PM
"The Worst $125 I ever Spent"
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1158120
I am Jack's Kidney 6,902 12
03/20/2005 03:46 PM
Why John Hargrave should run for president.
Of the world
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0 votes
0.0
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Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
03/21/2005 08:11 PM
One last bump to see if I get some more suggestions. I will be picking the five titles in 2 or 3 hours.
Feel free to suggest some easier titles.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1158808
Fratberry 282,931 53
03/21/2005 08:20 PM
"How To Properly Crash A Comedy Website"
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1158810
Fratberry 282,931 53
03/21/2005 08:48 PM
oops.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Fratberry 282,931 53
03/21/2005 08:57 PM
1: Denial
2: Anger
3: Bargaining
4: Depression
5: Acceptance
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1158841
Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/21/2005 11:10 PM
She-Males: Chicks with dicks? Or dudes with boobs?
You forgot Sluts with Nuts.
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
03/21/2005 11:14 PM
Am I too late, Bob?
"How to cheat at Cup'n'Ball"
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1158845
Captain Dan's Sea Legs 44,452 11
03/21/2005 11:31 PM
"Jack Nicholson: Celebrated Actor or Unattractive Woman?"
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Store
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