Purplehead 406 8
04/05/2005 12:26 PM

Who farted?

The Mailman, workal poster 176,450 56
04/05/2005 12:38 PM

Comedian: "So I was standing in line at the cash register, and of course, the woman in front of me chose to pay her purchases by the use of the ..."

(holding microphone towards the audience)



Audience: "... Sheik!"

Bankey 70,843 10
04/05/2005 12:43 PM

And so I said 'weapons of ASS destruction maybe' oh how we laughed.

daisypie 49,378 9
04/05/2005 12:48 PM

Dude, you are so fatwa'd...

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 37
04/05/2005 12:54 PM

Saruman demonstrates to the court the game called "Hide the Hobbit".

SpecialKake42069187 55,555 14
04/05/2005 01:05 PM

Now just the circumcised say "Ho-oh"

Ho-oh

Phuc 237,919 21
04/05/2005 01:07 PM

"Hey there people, I'm bobby brown

they say I'm the cutest boy in town

My car is fast, my teeth is shiny

I tell all the girls they can kiss my hiney..."













...I got nothing.

gorckat 41,132 13
04/05/2005 03:38 PM

"No, Mr Connery! There is no 'sh' in Allah- try again"



"Praish Ashlah!"

Fratberry 282,931 53
04/05/2005 03:43 PM

"Hey Yoda, get a load of who wants to be a Jedi! Jewdi, maybe...HA!"

Fratberry 282,931 53
04/05/2005 03:43 PM

Six days. Six days I had and that's the best I could do.

Fratberry 282,931 53
04/05/2005 03:46 PM

"All right!

Stop whatcha doin'

'cause I'm about to ruin

the image and the style that ya used to.

I look funny

but yo I'm makin' money see

so yo world I hope you're ready for me."

Phla Mignon 131,068 34
04/05/2005 06:38 PM

Dude, Guillotine of death ALWAYS beats tiger hand. Right, Ahmed, my man?



Yes, heh heh, he is right. (don'tshootme)

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
04/05/2005 07:46 PM

"Hezbollah in the hezouse!"

daisypie 49,378 9
04/06/2005 02:02 AM

I think you mean Hamasterical CapCron...

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
04/06/2005 02:07 AM

Stop knowing things, jerk.

daisypie 49,378 9
04/06/2005 02:14 AM

"Ahmed, you're looking great! Death really suits you..."

23 Flavours of Megatron 3,360 9
04/06/2005 02:41 AM

The first national convention of Taxi drivers.

daisypie 49,378 9
04/07/2005 02:12 AM

"Sheikh Yassin looks on and smiles as Sheikh Nasrallah

declares jihad on BobJohnson"

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
04/07/2005 02:19 AM

Pffff. Like I'm scared. I mean, on occasion, I've pulled better religions out of my ass.

Flaminsky 379 10
04/07/2005 02:30 AM

Mid-Eastern Pacman

daisypie 49,378 9
04/07/2005 02:33 AM

...on occasion, I've pulled better religions out of my ass



So that's where WICCANS come from, eh?

daisypie 49,378 9
04/07/2005 12:40 PM

Stop knowing things...



Judging by the lack of posts for a front page cap-con,

I'd say you've given this advice a lot, huh?

The Dive Master 10 8
04/07/2005 01:41 PM

"...so a priest, a rabbi and a cleric are in this bar. The cleric nudges the priest wih his elbow, leans and whispers to the priest, (referring to the rabbi's yamaka) 'Get a load of that ridiculous thing on his head'"

Fratberry 282,931 53
04/07/2005 02:35 PM

<action>sings to the tune of Me So Horny</action>

"Oy its so humid

Oy its so humid

Oy its so humid



Its like a sauna in here"

Fratberry 282,931 53
04/07/2005 03:48 PM

I suck at this.

Fratberry 282,931 53
04/07/2005 03:49 PM

Like I suck at life.

MaddMatt -Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
04/07/2005 06:41 PM

At the Hezbollah awards banquet:



"...and there I was, not more than ten feet from Hassin. He went up to the customs agent, and the guy asks him if he has anything to declare.

Hassin looks right at him and screams, YES, YOU FILTHY INFADEL, ALLAH AKBAR! Then he pulls the cord. I wish you could have seen his face when his shoes pop, and then catch on fire! He ACTUALLY forgot the explosives!"



Audience Laughter;



"Ok, ok, and now to present the award for this years greatest technical achievement in an airport bombing.....Hassin Hussain!



Audience laughter and applause...

One Mile Wide 83 9
04/07/2005 09:49 PM

Next up for bid.. Crazy Religious Zealot to run your Terrorist group..Bidding starts at 1 camel....

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
04/08/2005 10:32 AM

"I just flew in from the West Bank, and boy are my arms tired!"

gokijin 139 8
04/08/2005 10:35 AM

It looks like a future Mike Myer's movie.

Blackwing 74 8
04/08/2005 02:05 PM

No, Sheik, it's a belt of cigars with a piece of twine on one end for easy lighting. Heeere's your sign!

Bankey 70,843 10
04/08/2005 02:12 PM

"It's called the Muslim Shocker! Cause you know, Muslim ladies take it up the butt so much you gotta use all for fingers in there just to get a reaction"

Dweezil S Meniketti [Electric Hoedown] 77,546 17
04/08/2005 07:18 PM

I'm more interested in seeing the PLO roast of Sharon.

mg440 149 8
04/08/2005 07:32 PM

The middle eastern mario and luigi.

zenmaster 236 8
04/09/2005 09:33 PM

The Society of Arabic Comedians (SAC) honors the late Mohammed Bin-Wanabi with the lifetime achievement award for "The One About the Goat and the 72 Virgins."

lacedvixen 0 8
04/10/2005 04:12 AM

the award goes to Christopher Lee, for potraying the muslim people in a positive role in the film "Lord of rings" Thank you for not making us look like total pussies.

Heworama 91 8
04/10/2005 11:33 AM

"It was probably when Sauruman laughed a little too hard at Radagast's "cooking hobbits" joke that the rest of the wizard council should have started suspecting him of leaning towards the dark side..."



Excerpt from

"Sauruman - the Magic and the Madness"

a new biography by Gandalf Greyhame

DeFrost 116 8
04/11/2005 07:53 PM

"Like oh my God, girlfriend! Like my hair is totally not cool today!!!1!!!11!!1"

slasher33 16 8
04/11/2005 09:46 PM

OHYA? well come up here and say that!! ill bi**ch slap you good!

Sum Gi 53 8
04/12/2005 05:33 AM

And the new pope is....Shahilid Al-Whazifi!

Heyoka 1,000 9
04/14/2005 12:45 AM

"...and this is what I looked like after just one year of 'Dianetics'..."

mentaluprising 36 9
04/14/2005 05:51 PM

Yoda stands at the podeum calling out to Gandalf for a rematch.

bobert5064 19 8
04/15/2005 12:38 AM

Smile! You're on candid camera!

gorckat 41,132 13
04/15/2005 12:52 AM

<action>reads last few posts, frowns, clicks profiles</action>

Who left the barn door open?

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
04/15/2005 12:54 AM

I don't know, but please shut it on your way out.

daisypie 49,378 9
04/15/2005 01:03 AM

Why the hell haven't Frogpop and Demo posted in this thread?

They know Shakespeare, too!

bignorm 874 9
04/16/2005 09:39 AM

"I am liking very much to welcome you to the first annual convenience store owners trade show. Tonight's speaker is Apu Nahasapeemapetilon with a speech on how to reheat coffee and liven up day-old doughnuts.

opiate637 110 8
04/16/2005 08:49 PM

Surprising everone, (including himself) Saruman throughly enjoyed his Friars Club roast.

Boobspin Cloudtitty 0 8
04/17/2005 04:17 PM

And then she said I had Herpes....But I just think there Boils

SrJoe 64 8
04/18/2005 04:04 PM

Dirka Dirka, Dirka Dirka! Osama Jihad, Osama Jihad. Dirka...

lightning 4 8
04/18/2005 07:08 PM

Yeah I'm pretty sure that's not Christopher Lee. You guys should lay off the crack.

mg440 149 8
04/18/2005 09:21 PM

Big Daddy someone already posted that almost exactly. I'm not saying you stole it, but I am saying that it is a little to obvious. Try again though :)

deadrabbit 13 8
04/18/2005 11:16 PM

I'm tellin ya, once ya win an auction ya can't haggle enny mo!

Delightful Delirium 296 9
04/19/2005 02:07 AM

"Check out the burka on that one!"

AlphaKilo 4 8
04/19/2005 02:28 PM

And you shoulda seen tha tush tush on that girl. I mean you hear about the Gold Club dancers but this gal coulda' been a Golden Coral dancer, she was HUGE.

NBL peaceprize winner John Hume 48 8
04/19/2005 07:02 PM

Jihad me at hello!

GimliSonofGloin 0 8
04/20/2005 11:57 AM

It was in '76, on the Wailers tour, that our laaj Sheikh encapsulated the Bobo dread struggle against the devil and Zionism with just a few words:

"Clean da buddy! Clean da buddy! Da bald-heads demselves will bring down Babylon! Pass de chalice, bredda."

Heworama 91 8
04/20/2005 12:11 PM

"However when Sauruman continued to laugh as Radagast read the captions this far down the list I knew in my heart that he had gone completely mad..."



Excerpt from

"Sauruman - the Magic and the Madness"

A new biography by Gandalf Greyhame

Shmoeda Globa 45 8
04/20/2005 07:39 PM

... Aaand the biding starts at 40. Do I hear 50? 50! We've got 50! Do I hear 60!? Sooooold to the bearded man with a turban.

Madmatthew 366 9
04/21/2005 03:19 AM

"Do you SEE!!? His turban looks like his own HAIR, man!!!! God, I told you this Shakespeare was great! Habib knows his doobage, man. Let me...let me take another...h...hit of that, dude. JESUS i need some Cheetos, Froster. Get me some, pronto!"

Fritz me 78 8
04/22/2005 02:39 PM

No kidding, Hasan? You mean President Bush is coming here to give us a refund on that H-bomb we bought from "Toys R Us?"

Genxer36 0 8
04/23/2005 12:39 PM

G72!! as in GAZA strip 72!!! (Sheik Yassin): BINGO!!!!

Spicy Noodles 185 9
04/25/2005 06:00 PM

We, at the Arabian Institute of Cosmetology would like to introduce our newest experiment. Sheedid Unfase, would you please turn around and show everyone your beautiful new "forevasmile"?

MarsMetro 61 8
04/25/2005 06:10 PM

Did he just say Pope Ratzinger is Jewish? Hey Hasan, what have you been smoking? Kosher hashish?

Anders0117 0 8
04/26/2005 12:09 PM

... So then I call him and ask for "Isheik Mydrawers."

MooglePuff 0 8
04/26/2005 04:15 PM

So then I said, "Get your own sandwich!"

Sarin Highwind 699 11
04/27/2005 11:37 AM

*chris rock voice*

"I am your R A, Resident Assistant"





"check out this mother-Froster habijie"

Mercenary Church 10 8
04/29/2005 08:40 AM

George Bush: I fixed Iraq, now I'm going to fix Social Securities. I believe god wants me to be president...



Jesus: Aww screw you Bush, I should wash your mouth out with Holy Soap!

Mercenary Church 10 8
04/29/2005 08:42 AM

The waitress said to the two lawyers: "I'm sorry but you can't eat your own lunches hear," she said, guesturing at their sandwiches.

The two lawyers looked at eachother, shurgged and swapped sandwiches.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
04/29/2005 08:44 AM

Do you have a different picture on your computer, or sumpin?

Mercenary Church 10 8
04/29/2005 09:16 AM

"Mum," said the little boy, "if I promise to be good, can I have 5 dollars?"

"Why can't you be good for nothing like your father?" replied the mother.

PlainTableTopJane 173,958 15
04/29/2005 10:33 AM

HAHAHAHA! Oh, good times.

Koko88 7 9
05/02/2005 02:20 PM

This guy can't give a speech, but his weed is the suicide-bomb!

Robbo123 4 8
05/02/2005 03:31 PM

All rise! The court of the honourable judge Judy is now in session!

0 8
05/04/2005 05:47 AM

All your base are belong to us.

Koko88 7 9
05/06/2005 04:07 PM

This guy can't give a speech, but his weed is the Shi'ite!

gorckat: Admirul of Speling Ritely 41,132 13
05/06/2005 04:19 PM

What the hell did you just maha? A moment ago you hadn't given any.

daisypie 49,378 9
05/15/2005 03:43 PM

"Capcon? We don't need no stinkin' capcon"

"This isn't the capcon you're looking for"

"CapCron? Crapcon is more like it"

"The capcon to end all capcons"

"The capcon that time forgot"

"The neverending capcon"

"The uncap'able con"

Keep Cool 4 8
05/16/2005 12:59 AM

I'm Rasheed James, bitch!