Garry Obryan 139 9
04/05/2005 04:48 PM

Eat it, that's what I do most of the time.Or I put it in my pocket for a late nigth snack.

Potrzebie 1,790 9
04/05/2005 04:50 PM

I don't know about you, but I think it is descent to cover my feces as best I can, and if the hosts don't provide towels, paper has to do.

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 04:54 PM

Incase I didn't make it clear enough, This is a clean bowl, with like 4 squares of TP.



Who the hell does this?

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/05/2005 04:56 PM

It's probably from the post flush precautionary wipe.



Probably used so much TP, he needed to flush, and didn't want to clog the tiolet, and to make sure it was all good to go, wiped once more. And one peice of TP is not worth a flush.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
04/05/2005 04:56 PM

Iridescent Stetson? Who the Frost are you?



STOP STARTING THREADS!!



and STFU, N00b.

Spicey McHaggis 117,752 37
04/05/2005 04:56 PM

I think it's because the previous flusher jiggled the handle too soon.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
04/05/2005 04:57 PM

Could be from rubbing one out...

David Moss 4,125 10
04/05/2005 04:57 PM

Maybe they used the toilet paper to blow their nose and thought it would be convenient to throw it in the toilet but not worth a flush.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/05/2005 04:57 PM

If I was put in a situation like that, I would just piss in the sink.



I have a hard time getting started under pressure.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
04/05/2005 04:58 PM

Mufftaur Confused!

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 04:58 PM

Think hard Retard.

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
04/05/2005 05:00 PM

<action>doesn't understand why thinking about someone with down's syndrome sporting an erection will do any good</action>

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
04/05/2005 05:00 PM

Juding by the tooth, and that you both smoke pole....





is this Lunchbox?

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 05:01 PM

I'm the 2nd piece of Phosphorescent Headwear.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
04/05/2005 05:01 PM

Hard Retard?



OHH!!!!! SOMBRERO!!!

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 05:03 PM

Yes, Sombrero.



You might remember me from such threads as "Racism is funny!" and "Chance complains way too much with her mouth full."

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
04/05/2005 05:04 PM

holy Shakespeare...I KNEW who you were.



My God...I have to resort to POSTING that I knew...



if you would get your fugging ass on MSN, I wouldn't have to.

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 05:07 PM

Thats the thing. Apparently the IT's at Head Orifice don't care when I tubgirl and goatse myself endless times, However MSN is a no no.

Ditdah 123,102 14
04/05/2005 05:07 PM

Have you ever had to take a piss at someone elses house?...When you lift the lid, Do you ever see a small portion of TP sitting there in the water all soggy?



Hat, you need to teach your freaky friends how to flush.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
04/05/2005 05:10 PM

"Chance complains way too much with her mouth full."



Like you know anything about filling a mouth. A moth maybe.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
04/05/2005 05:11 PM

<action>cleans up the twinkie crumbs from Chance's post...</action>

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 05:14 PM

Frost me in the ass if someone like you cannot fathom a persons mouth being full of.. food!

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/05/2005 05:17 PM

New question, not 100% off-topic:





Why is it that some guys must unbuckle and drop trou' when they have to piss?



While I would like to say that I am swinging so much meat that I need a fire truck to hold my hose, I will be honest here: It doesn't hang below my knees.



Even with this shortcoming (heh) I am at least able to hang it far enough out of my pants to not piss on myself.



It strikes me as odd that I walk into the executive restroom, and grown, and presumably intelligent, men have their pants down to their knees just to piss in a urinal.



Is it just my imagination, or am I working with a bunch of retards?

SpecialKake42069187 55,555 14
04/05/2005 05:19 PM

If you trim your pubes over the toilet:



A. You have to sit backwards.

and

B. the pubes don't flush unless you throw some TP on top of there.



But I gotta say, whenever I blow my nose in the bathroom, Is it in there. Less to take out.

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 05:21 PM

I've been known to drop trou at urinals. It's funnier that way.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
04/05/2005 05:21 PM

My most memorable "OPB" experience was when I was in college.



There was a party one night in the dorms, and it was in the room of some of the bitchiest, most-stuck-up girls in the building.



Well, me, being REALLY, REALLY, drunk, and having "beer-wee" REALLY bad, bladder-busting bad, I went in to use their bathroom.



I started the stream, and didn't get one single drop in the toilet. I hosed down the toilet, the seat, the top of the tank, the handle, I pissed all over their toilet paper roll, the sink, and for the piece de resistance, pulled all their toothbrushes out of the rack, and hosed them down too.



I enjoyed the party ALOT more after that.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
04/05/2005 05:22 PM

Oh great Boobie's here. Now 2 men in a thread that dislike me for reasons unknown.



I guess I should go stuff my face now.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/05/2005 05:23 PM

Is it wierd that whenever I go to use the restroom, I think of something to post on GAB?

Frenchified Filly 39,193 20
04/05/2005 05:24 PM

I just got back from France. Let's not talk about toilets, hmm? The one at the airport had one stall and no door. If you ever want a complete bonding experience with a complete stranger, take a piss right next to them without a door.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/05/2005 05:27 PM

If you ever want a complete bonding experience with a complete stranger, take a piss right next to them without a door.



As a guy I don't think I could do that. I mean with all the privacy that men's rooms provide, urinals, troughs, etc. I can't imagine that horror.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/05/2005 05:28 PM

If you ever want a complete bonding experience with a complete stranger, take a piss right next to them without a door.



Welcome to our world.



Were you peeking to see how big your neighbor's coochie flaps were?

Frenchified Filly 39,193 20
04/05/2005 05:29 PM

The guys' urinal didn't have a door either. If you walked down the hallway, you can see it all.

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 05:30 PM

unknown: In this case, You take too much Shakespeare to heart. Don't try to insult me when I base my humor on self-depreciation.

I don't need you to tell me how i jerk off too much and have sex too little, I know this.



Take what we say with a grain of salt.



Hell, take it with a McDonalds french fry, they've got tons!

Loociam Yofada 97,986 37
04/05/2005 05:30 PM

Damn, Filly. I actually have nightmares about that very thing.



I'm gonna have to go with Moss about the original post. I sometimes blow my nose with some TP and just throw it in without flushing.

gorckat 41,132 13
04/05/2005 05:33 PM

i believe worse than seeing no cause for mysteious tp is seeing reason to have used tp, but no evidence of fluhing or wiping



i.e.- boats w/o sails

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
04/05/2005 05:33 PM

Cripes...whomever gave me that maha...



it was YOUR dorm room, wasn't it?

Frenchified Filly 39,193 20
04/05/2005 05:33 PM

It's great. I can look at a tubgirl or goatse link (or, in Hat's case, a tubgoatse link) without flinching, but the no door thing is beyond scarring.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
04/05/2005 05:42 PM

Now 2 men in a thread that dislike me for reasons unknown.



Oh, I have a reason.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/05/2005 05:46 PM

I use to work in a machine-shop that was approximately a bajillion years old.



The restrooms had never been updated, and apparently, when it was built, they didn't believe in walls at all. There was a row of 3 large troughs for the up-standing fellows, and a row of about 10 thrones for the tough jobs. The entire room was open, with 2 of those large, round, fountain-type of sinks in the center.

When you opened the door, you could see everything in the room. Needless to say, if you had to drop a duece, it was common practice to take a newspaper with you, for a tiny bit of privacy.



This really made the transition to prision life much easier.

It was really uncomfortable.

gorckat 41,132 13
04/05/2005 05:47 PM

at the local RenFest, the men's room amounted to a sloped water trough with a discharge pipe at the end- room for 20 or so self-assured men to stand shoulder to shoulder and relieve the bladders



for dumps and ladies, you had to wait in line for an hour or so to sit in the Steam-a-Pottie

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/05/2005 05:48 PM

French Steak,



I don't know what the big deal is. Just watch some watersport videos and you will conquer this fear.



Hugs and Kisses,



Me

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/05/2005 05:55 PM

I had a friend that used to belong to a fraternity. I had driven 6 hours out of my way to pick him up for a concert/camping weekend. I found where the bathroom was and walked in to take a piss, and there was a dude sittin on the crapper right there. Only a thin piece of plywood seprated him and the urinal.



Me: Oh, Shakespeare. Sorry man.



Him: Oh, no dude. Don't worry, you gotta piss? Go ahead, man.



Me: .....um...ok.



So I go in to pee, and I'm none to thrilled about this. Hopefully I can get in there, and piss real quick, and get out with out any severe mental trauma. Apparently, normal rules of the bathroom don't apply in fraternities. The dude wouldn't shut up.



Him: So you guys goin to see Dave at the Gorge?



Me: ....uh..yeah. (come on pee, go FASTER!)



Him: Sweet, that should be a good show. *plop plop*



Me: ...yeah. (FASTER DAMN YOU FASTER)



I finally finish and get the hell out of there. And I comment to my friend, "dude that bathroom situation is Frosted up."



He then tells me about the upstairs bath room. It has a sink, and two toilets, right next to eachother. They call them 'Pilot' and 'Co-pilot."



Thus, leading me to the conclusion that fratboys are gay.

McChickens Nuggets 286,527 61
04/05/2005 05:56 PM

You haven't lived until you have cranked out a poo in one of these in a stall with no door.

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 05:57 PM

Okay, So the TP leavers are freaks.



Here's another one.



How about those people who have the elasticy wool lid covers, and/or the puffy comfort seats. (which are heaven in dumpsville)

Do you ever go to lift both of them up, Only to have the seat fall back down, Because it can't sit at enough of an angle against the tank?

My brother's toilet is a sneaky Froster that way, He has both. But the seat likes to wait a couple seconds before dropping. It scared me one time, luckily I was only unzipping, not aiming and disengaging. Whew!

However, this can be easily conquered by holding it with one hand (lame) or trying to balance it and pray.



I've created a game/muscle control technique. When the seat falls, you cut it off dead, then in a split second, Full Frost-ing power. This should create a sufficient break in the pee stream for the seat to pass through, and will minimize dribble on the bowl edge, seat and floor.



I've started practicing with the ever popular Public "horseshoe" seats, y'know, incase I strike out.





Not that I care about pissing on the floor in a public restroom.

















And since I know you're thinking it, No, I wont start peeing while the seat is down. That depletes my aiming zone by at least half!

McChickens Nuggets 286,527 61
04/05/2005 05:57 PM

Cool! One with no porcelin at all. Clean!

Loociam Yofada 97,986 37
04/05/2005 05:58 PM

Yep, I'll be having those nightmares tonight.

Coco 1,756 8
04/05/2005 06:00 PM

Filly, where in France did you go? I just got back from the south, and their toilets had doors, as far as I could tell.



In Egypt, the 'toilets' look like shower bases, with two footprints and a hole. No doors, just row after row of squatholes. I don't know how drunk somebody was, but there were puddles in the footprints of every 'toilet' there; and a massive turd just missing the hole on every other toilet. Nice.

McChickens Nuggets 286,527 61
04/05/2005 06:04 PM

Coco- I was introduced to those squatty potties in Syria. the one at the castle of the crusaders had a 12 year old boy standing there with a box of kleenix to clean up with. He stood there for women and men.



Shakespeare

Coco 1,756 8
04/05/2005 06:07 PM

At least he was supplying paper. On this school trip, we had to take a roll of TP around with us in our backpacks.



Thank God for Imodium.

McChickens Nuggets 286,527 61
04/05/2005 06:11 PM

Worst I saw had a tap and a short length of hose for clean up. No TP.

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 06:12 PM

I'm debating starting another thread, "Other Country's Toilets" So I can continue with my thread.

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 06:12 PM

But, Alas, Who am I to hault someone elses Jacking?

Coco 1,756 8
04/05/2005 06:18 PM

Okay. Other people's toilets. I was shunned by a friend's family for daring to flush, as they operated a flush-once-a-day rule.



I haven't had the pleasure of drunkenly trashing someone's bathroom, though once a friend did a CG-style trashing of my parents' bathroom (though without motive). Guess who had to clean up!

Loociam Yofada 97,986 37
04/05/2005 06:18 PM

At least your thread was jacked by stuff that is funny. Each and every one of my threads has been jacked in the most unfunny manner possible so that it came to a quick, humiliating, grinding halt.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/05/2005 06:21 PM

I ordered a wizard wah, but it's on backorder.

Frenchified Filly 39,193 20
04/05/2005 06:23 PM

Filly, where in France did you go?



I went all over, but mostly in the north. Paris, Caen, Saint Malo, Normandy, Mont-Saint-Michel, that area. Most of the restrooms were pretty decent, the airport one was the worst. The vast majority of them required you to pay, but they were good. Some were freaking awesome and they cleaned themselves automatically. Definitely worth .50 euro!

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/05/2005 06:25 PM

Toilet jacked.



SFW

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 06:25 PM

Yes, But your weird name is directly related to some people not giving a Shakespeare.

Frenchified Filly 39,193 20
04/05/2005 06:31 PM

Mine?

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
04/05/2005 06:36 PM

Ok, semi related, I can't for the life of me, guess why anyone would feel it nessicary to dress the extra roll of T.P. with a Frost-ing crocheted hillbilly woman like I have seen in a few bathrooms before. (usually old folks)





And Hat, the few squares of T.P. are most likely from someone playing sink the bismark while pissing, and pissed on the seat, so they mopped it up before leaving.

Loociam Yofada 97,986 37
04/05/2005 06:36 PM

No, probably mine. sigh.

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 06:45 PM

Yes.





Thats probably it, Chit.



I just wanted an excuse to use "Urniary Godzilla".

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
04/05/2005 06:46 PM

My grandmother in the east of France, just moved her toilet in the house completely about 10-15 years ago. It used to be out on a deck of sorts, and you actually had to go outside to get to the bathroom. (it snows there too.)



When I visited as a kid, having to do that, then wipe with T.P. that had the texture of a brown paper bag, I remember telling her that we have it better in the U.S. when we go camping.

Loociam Yofada 97,986 37
04/05/2005 06:49 PM

Stetson, I'll allow that it is stupid, but at least tell me you know what it means.

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 06:50 PM

<action> takes in multiple slow, deep, amplified sounding breaths through a large black helmet</action>

I.

Have no.

Idea.

Lucky Charms 171,275 14
04/05/2005 06:51 PM

Oh, I have a reason.



Boobie- I don't know what reason you would have. If ya like you can email me and we can settle it. I'm really a charming gal given half the chance!

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 07:04 PM

Great! Let's cut her in half!

Covergirl 33 8
04/05/2005 07:11 PM

Yeah

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 07:18 PM

Covergirl, I hate to say it, But. No. Wait let me start again.



Covergirl, I love saying it. You're off to a rough start.

Don't post when you clearly have nothing to add.

Ever heard the phrase "It goes without saying." ?

Yeah, Because those kinda things need not be said. Like agreeing with someone.

Click them instead.



</whore>

Covergirl 33 8
04/05/2005 07:30 PM

Um....... yeah........... kiss my ass, lick my clit and suck my stick! I really got nothing hear........... sorry, I knwo I suck. I'm not going to come here anymore because I'm not funny enough like you people

Iridescent Stetson 91,274 10
04/05/2005 07:32 PM

Have you heard of Lurking?



It's easy, It's exactly like posting on GAB, but instead of posting, Don't. Just read. Laugh. Fart. And then read more.





Im sure Oliver would suggest looking at Lesbian porn instead, and I cannot say I don't condone it.

Covergirl 33 8
04/05/2005 07:48 PM

What about Farm Porn?? Can i look at that too?

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
04/05/2005 07:50 PM

you haven't sent me a picture yet, covergirl.

Covergirl 33 8
04/05/2005 07:51 PM

Sorry I don't have a pic to load yet. I'll give you one this weekend

piXXXie 5,871 11
04/05/2005 08:08 PM

Is it annoying in here or is it just covergirl?

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/05/2005 08:11 PM

I made my Shakespeare-ing in OPB into an article.





Worst open bathroom experience was in high school. None of the stalls had doors. Newspapers worked for privacy, but that wasn't a normal thing to carry during the day. I usually didn't Shakespeare at school, for just this reason, except for extreme emergencies, and only during class when people were at a minimum.

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
04/05/2005 08:17 PM

Briham has the answer to the original question! Some men were taught by their mommy's that after the one-eyed monster cries, you have to wipe it's tears away. In other words, some wipe their dicks off after they pee, whereas most men just let the underdrawers soak up the last few drops. How do I know this? Two sources: the first, I think, was a Dave Barry article or something where his son, who was potty trained by the mother, yelled out to his father in a public restroom "Daddy! You forgot to wipe yourself!" The other was while my roommate was talking about this on the phone with one of his friends. Apparently his friend found it odd that my roommate wipes, and so my roommate asked me if most people did that. I told him "Not if you're real man."

piXXXie 5,871 11
04/05/2005 08:19 PM

So, you're definitely a wiper, huh, Briham?

Covergirl 33 8
04/05/2005 08:19 PM

it's just me! I'm annoying i'm going bye

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
04/05/2005 08:22 PM

<action>throws pee-stained underwear at Pixxie</action>Does that answer your question?

Declan 'Velvet Jones' McManus 131,874 36
04/05/2005 08:40 PM

Your aim is off, Briham.

Frenchified Filly 39,193 20
04/05/2005 09:53 PM

<action>looks intrigued</action>lick my clit and suck my stick



Wait, so you have a clit and a stick?

millie 116,988 28
04/06/2005 12:04 AM

<action>prays</action>

Oh pleeeeease, no one post that disgusting picture for Filly...

millie 116,988 28
04/06/2005 12:11 AM

<action>makes a totally pointless remark</action>

Hey, Mr. Sir! I've driven by that thing about a million times.



It's in Kennebunk on Route One.



<unaccountably excited>

AussieSarah 8,390 9
04/06/2005 03:07 AM

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?



It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

turtle10 42,578 26
04/06/2005 11:17 AM

I think the paper is left in there to reduce splashing.

SpecialKake42069187 55,555 14
04/06/2005 11:23 AM

Also, please stop buying wooden toilet seats, people. I don't want something that gives out splinters that close to my ass. Plus, they're always broken.

newwave 45,912 10
04/06/2005 12:35 PM

If you want to see other people's toilets, check this site out. See if you can find my submissions.

JepRep - Limericking upon request 58,758 13
04/10/2005 12:42 PM

We were in a nightclub in Fukuoka Japan when me and a buddy of mine went to use the loo. My buddy had to drop a load and was confronted by one of those trough toilets with no seat. Apparently, he had not quite mastered the art of using one of those things. As I was standing at the urinal, I heard this loud American voice come out of the stalls yelling "AAAAAWWWWW Shakespeare!!!!!". He had somehow managed to drop a row of corn right down his pant leg. The funniest part was we had to take public transportation for two hours back to base in Sasebo.

I am Phla's car keys and you can't find me. 6,902 12
04/10/2005 12:47 PM

For some reason the urinals at my mom's (she's a pastor) church are on that site.