TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 02:53 PM

Statistics seemed so much more boring after that.



when was mashing a calculator for an hour NOT boring

TableTopJane 173,958 15
04/06/2005 02:53 PM

Why in the world would they waste the use of a helicopter to save the life of a Mexican? It's not like there's not a million others just laying around to replace him.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 02:54 PM

Because a Working Mexican is a rare thing.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 02:55 PM

besides, he was probably the one the started the whole mess....

PrincessBritt 4,730 9
04/06/2005 02:55 PM

What happened to the teacher's car that was crushed?

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/06/2005 02:57 PM

More importantly, who's gonna' take care of the lawns on Jesus' route?

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 02:58 PM

I suddenly crave oranges and have no where to by them. This is truly a tragedy.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 02:59 PM

Dude. STFU.



How long did you lurk for?

Tabula Rasa - relatively clean 14,056 9
04/06/2005 03:01 PM

What happened to the teacher's car that was crushed?



It's a public school, silly! Teachers don't matter. They're always on about how they want better insurance, they want a raise, they have to ride to school in a shopping cart, they have cancer. Blah, blah, blah.

</American school system>

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 03:02 PM

<action> cries </action>

Now I'm a lurker AND a noob, i mean n00b, wait only those as super 1337 as sombrero can use 13375P34K, mah bad.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 03:02 PM

"Apparently not long enough."

Was the correct answer.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/06/2005 03:03 PM

My only contributions to this thread are:



Paul Olson is a Frost-ing loser.



And for Tabula's sake I hope it wasn't a hearse that was taken out.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/06/2005 03:04 PM

Also, completely unrelated, whenever a young lady with "the hotness" talks about being in school, I mentally put them into that Britney Spears video where she's prancing about in the school girl uniform.







I'll be back in a minute later...

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 03:05 PM

man people on this thread are SO mean, I mean, all I want is to be accepted in this online community to escape my dreary life completely devoid of sex just like the rest of you.

PrincessBritt 4,730 9
04/06/2005 03:08 PM

That's where you're wrong. Some of us are probably having sex at this very moment, while posting.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 03:08 PM

Shut your Frost-ing piehole now. You will not gain acceptance by being dumber than a bag of Frost.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 03:09 PM

Amazingly, just as I read Mr. Sir's post, "The Stroke" started playing on my radio.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 03:10 PM

<action> spells out his sarcasm in a hopeless attempt to penetrate the "hammerhead"</action>

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/06/2005 03:12 PM

<action> takes a step back</action>





(I got $5 on HH)

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/06/2005 03:14 PM

<action>sits down with some popcorn, offers some around the room</action>

Scotty MacChickens 286,527 61
04/06/2005 03:16 PM

Frost<!!!/b>



*falls down stairs*

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/06/2005 03:16 PM

<action>sits down with some ether, waits for Tabula to sit next to him

Scotty MacChickens 286,527 61
04/06/2005 03:17 PM

...and breaks Gab

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 03:18 PM

The Reverend Oliver Chest sits down with some ether, waits for Tabula to sit next to him



when did priests start going after the girlies?

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/06/2005 03:21 PM

<action> points to the noob's question</action>





HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!



Priest...







HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!111

Angel with a Hearse 203,956 21
04/06/2005 03:22 PM

Tabula my love. Don't fall for that witty Reverend's trap. I still remember the top of your head from the first time we met.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 03:23 PM

Hey, dumbass, did you not get the hint? STFU. Stop posting every Frost-ing thought that pops into your head. We don't give a Shakespeare what the hamster in your brain is telling you.



Frost off and die. Or at least read this so you can know how to better fit in here.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/06/2005 03:24 PM

<action>becomes tired of waiting for Tabula, skooches his chair over next to BIG

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/06/2005 03:25 PM

<action>duct tapes his ass cheeks together a la the Breakfast Club</action>



Um, hi Rabbi, how are things going?

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 03:27 PM

do you need a hug hammerhead?

and just because something pops into my head more than once every 15 minutes, doesn't mean you have to hate.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 03:28 PM

and my hamster doesn't talk, it just runs on the wheel to turn the gears...... stupid

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 03:29 PM

You're a real master. Ass master. You obviously haven't been here long. I'm suggesting you stop posting and just read. This is the last time I'll be helpful.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/06/2005 03:30 PM

<action> points to the noob's first statement</action>





HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!







Hug HH.....









HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!







Really, you need to sit back and watch for a while.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 03:31 PM

You're a real master. Ass master.

You are so clever, maybe one day after reading quips of that magnitude of funny, I can be as funny as you, until then learn to use the Frost-ing scroll bar and don't read my posts genius.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/06/2005 03:33 PM

<action> rips the duct tape off of BIG, a la the Breakfast Club</action>





Damn it, now I'll have Saturday school...

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 03:34 PM

<action>yawns</action>

Phuc 237,919 21
04/06/2005 03:36 PM

Thanks for playing, Tempus.



You have just passed through the gauntlet.





...of ass.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/06/2005 03:37 PM

As a card carrying member of the Spoon Icon Club, please pick another icon. On behalf of Chance, PuggyD, and the others, I say choose something else. Your complete lack of understanding and ability to follow the simple directions that make assimilation into this community easy, make all spoons look bad. Either that or just die.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 03:38 PM

until then learn to use the Frost-ing scroll bar and don't read my posts genius.



Au Contrair, You Frost-ing DoucheBarrel, When a series or your inane posts refreshes a certain thread, we're going to click on it and read it.

That is part of what it is to GAB. Refreshing and waiting for new posts.

So when we read the new posts in a FUNNY thread, and find them to be Yours, We get upset.



Until then.

ahem..

<borrow>

Why don't you take this knife, and go practice your wrist violin.

</borrowed>

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 03:40 PM

Apparantly scathing sarcasm is lost on you people. I don't need acceptance from you.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/06/2005 03:41 PM

I think we are all getting away from the 2 most important things in this thread:





1. Somebody's lawn isn't going to be taken care of.





B. Tabula's in class, wearing a short plaid skirt and thigh-high stockings. Her shirt is unbuttoned down-to-there, and she is seductively placing the tip of her pencil in her mouth....







I'll be back in a minute later.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 03:43 PM

MR.SIR YOU RULE

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 03:46 PM

TempusFaggot, you still suck the crusty maggot filled scrote of a dead donkey.

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 03:47 PM

mexicans are doing the jobs that your Frost-ing white asses have to much pride to do, give em a damn break. but i admit tempus, the oranges are tasty.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 03:48 PM

i like my donkeys live and kicking, but besides the point, I'm at work getting paid to watch the monkey's fling their poo at me in anger. simpletons are so easily manipulated

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
04/06/2005 03:53 PM

Talk less Mexican, more Tabula.





- That is all.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 03:54 PM

Au Contraire. You're being hazed, and not from anger, from sheer disdain. Your pointless posts and mindless drivel are dragging down the intelligence of everyone who becomes unfortunate enough to read them.



You're not even worth a half-hearted attempt at being hazed, you french fried Frostnugget. Go eat a bowl of dick.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/06/2005 03:54 PM

I can manipulate my penis to look like a snake.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/06/2005 03:55 PM

I real little one.

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 03:56 PM

obviously hammerhead is an inuendo for how much masturbation takes place in his simpleton life instead of actually getting a life, and maybe just maybe something to sleep with, but i dont think goats will even consider it. sorry hammer dont get your key board too sticky.

filthy macpirate 268 9
04/06/2005 03:57 PM

Go eat a bowl of dick.



got milk?

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/06/2005 03:57 PM

It can spit venom too.

PrincessBritt 4,730 9
04/06/2005 04:00 PM

I think it's funny when people get yelled at, and they misspell a bunch of big words to try and defend themselves.



If you guys really don't care what anybody on here thinks of you, why do you keep fighting back?

Purplehead 406 8
04/06/2005 04:00 PM

What wil it be boy's.....gun's or knives

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 04:00 PM

Wow, you're hilarible. I am in awe of your skewed powers of perception.





What the hell is this, invasion of the bloody cumstains today?

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:00 PM

You're not even worth a half-hearted attempt at being hazed



Yet for the last 45 minutes you've been making an attempt, a sorry attempt, but still an attempt.



And if you can read something and become dumber, I pray for you, I really do. I don't know to what, but I do.

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 04:01 PM

i love objectivity, too bad no one really has any.

Fratberry 282,931 53
04/06/2005 04:01 PM

dumber than a bag of Frost



Awesome.

gorckat 41,132 13
04/06/2005 04:02 PM

hey- i'm one of those bloody cumstains and damn proud to be the finest part of you that ran down your mother's legs!



now go get a kleenex and wipe me off- i don't like hairy legs

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/06/2005 04:02 PM

He's gonna' pray?? Like that worked for the Pope.



HAHAHAHAHA

















JACKASS

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/06/2005 04:02 PM

No one is interested in my snake?



Fine. I'll just go beat it to death then.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:02 PM

If you guys really don't care what anybody on here thinks of you, why do you keep fighting back?



Its kinda like watching a dog chase its tail in a way.

Besides I'm at work with no work to do.

268 9
04/06/2005 04:02 PM

*smirk*

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 04:03 PM

Look. Lets stop.



We got off on the wrong foot.



How would you feel if some new kids started at your school in the middle of the year, and started acting like they're king Shakespeare. Your girlfriend is talking to them. They become captain of the chess club, knocking you to backup.

They get a locker closer to Cindy McLellan and can actually see down that cute pink top she's wearing today.





Wouldn't that make you mad? that you put all your time into being who you are, And some little FrostShakespeares come along and try to take that away.





Anyway, Im sure you all cant get past that visual of Cindy's perky little tits.

Here's a teaser.

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 04:03 PM

ah you can help hammer

gorckat 41,132 13
04/06/2005 04:03 PM

hey rev- you can have people kill two birds w/ one stone- charm the snake by playin the skin flute...

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
04/06/2005 04:05 PM

"i love objectivity, too bad no one really has any."



We have capital letters though.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 04:05 PM

Nah, I'd rather look at Alissa.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:06 PM

<action> looks around spooked</action>



(how did he know i was captain of the chess team?)

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 04:07 PM

eh, cindy likes us better anyway, it's like you have to deal with something for so long cuzz theres nothing better and then some one more intelligent than the rest of you comes along and assumes your position and all you can do is pout and try and pentrate their feelings. no submission on this end thanks.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/06/2005 04:07 PM

As the regularly-posting GABber who's been here the longest, I welcome you all, n00bzes, and your valiant attempts to strike back at the species Fappicus Maximus.



Great shall your reward be in heaven.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 04:08 PM

Hey, sullen, I'm married. I have regular sex. With a real live girl! On a nightly basis!





It's not surprising you're transfixed with masturbation. It's all the lovin you'll ever be able to get.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/06/2005 04:08 PM

AH! ONE OF THE RETARDS TALKED TO ME!!!!



*runs away*

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 04:08 PM

OH SORRY I'LL JUST YELL EVERYTIME I TALK NOW.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 04:09 PM

Welcome to FailedExampleville, Population: Two.



Learn proper puntuation, Spelling, Grammar and then we'll talk.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:10 PM

This is starting to feel like a dance off from west side story, only slightly less manly.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 04:10 PM

<action>hands Hat a 'c'</action>

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:10 PM

Learn proper puntuation, Spelling, Grammar and then we'll talk



I SMELL A TYPO WOOOOOOOOOO



HYPOCRITE HYPOCRITE

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 04:11 PM

Yes, And watch eachothers backs, too.





Or should I say watcch, now.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:12 PM

do i have to capitolize random words like Spelling and Grammar to talk to you?

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 04:12 PM

Yea, that is a really touchy subject, infact today I found out it doesn't actually go into your belly button... That's too bad, I was really havi soo much fun with that hole. Huh, Im stumped can you help me out and tell me where the hell you think it goes because marital experience is what it's all about. Should'nt you be picking out dinner plates or something?

Declan 'Velvet Jones' McManus 131,874 36
04/06/2005 04:12 PM

a dance-off from 'West Side Story'





Well, in that case, I'm with the SHARK!

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 04:13 PM

<action>pulls sullen's feeding tube.</action> You can have this back when you start making sense again.

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 04:14 PM

tempus- Can mexicans really dance, or are they trying not to jump on their cockroach friends?

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 04:14 PM

I can make my own decisions thank you very much.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/06/2005 04:15 PM

What I learned before I started Posting



or



How not to get hazed



By ME





1. Know how Chickens died.

2. Find out why Ford Prefect isn't here.

3. Know the proper spelling and grammar is expected.

4. This isn't AOL, so no leet speak or THOSE Frost-ing EMOTICONS.

5. Find out which GABber has a daughter with a underactive thyroid.

6. Find out which GABber has a pair of panties being passed around with a duck eating a pair of legs.

7. Understand the SUPPLIES comments.

8. Know that aMurder.com sucks

9. Roofie has great boobs

10. This also will help

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:15 PM

i have to pee

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/06/2005 04:16 PM

TROC,



I think I've clickied everything you've written in this thread.





Consistently funny, good timing, well-played.





That is all.

Declan 'Velvet Jones' McManus 131,874 36
04/06/2005 04:16 PM

I can make my own decisions





Take the Frost-ing hint and decide to leave.





Blessyourheart!

Ditdah 123,102 14
04/06/2005 04:21 PM

I just want to say I hate when the noobs call Ollie "Rev". I don't know WHY it bugs me so, but it does.



Continue, please.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/06/2005 04:22 PM

<action> adds Mr. Mister to his 'pretty people' list

SpecialKake42069187 55,555 14
04/06/2005 04:23 PM

I'm sure they will all be accepted eventually. I, for one, would love to invite you guys to the GabBoston Party. I can't wait to see you all there.

Captain Dan's Sea Legs 44,452 11
04/06/2005 04:24 PM

I've always thought that the best way to deal with an unfunny newcomer is to treat it like you would a malignant cancerous lump- ignore it and pray that it goes away.



Treating the noob with HH-radiation therapy can reduce the noob, although it will often come back larger and more unstoppable than ever (see Hrududu). There is also a side risk associated with such high exposure to hazing-rays (which explains the enormous tentacle growing from between of Captain Dan's legs... oh my God... that's not a tentacle)

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
04/06/2005 04:24 PM

Unless you can answer these questions, you're still a noob:



1) What did it take to get a PUSH t-shirt?



2) Which male gabber got his dick removed?



3) Who posted as "The Half Yarble"?



4) Where did Mass Hysteria go to school?



5) What was Marylin's first Gab name?



6) Why did Ford leave England?



7) Meat is _____



8) What did "NOMFWIC" mean and who was he?



9) Who puked at the end of "Wheel of Ipicac"?



10) Who was Snafflepod?

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/06/2005 04:25 PM

I don't care what people call me. As long as people call me.



*sigh*

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/06/2005 04:26 PM

Shakespeare. I'm still a n00b.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:26 PM

You are all a novelty. There is a million of these sites. You are nothing special. Get over it.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:26 PM

You are all a novelty. There are a million of these sites. You are nothing special. Get over it.

Ditdah 123,102 14
04/06/2005 04:27 PM

Nutbutter, based on that, 75% of GAB is noobs. At some point you have to accept that you are stuck with some of us. We may not be 'old school', but we don't ALL suck.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:27 PM

woot apparantly I didn't hit the stop button in time.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/06/2005 04:27 PM

Actually, we are special. We have statistics to prove it.

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 04:28 PM

Alright, I subside. You are all pretty clever. But oh, you have got me all wrong boys. I'm just a young woman looking for some hopeless unromantic to slash me with his ever so filthy words.

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/06/2005 04:28 PM

<action> adjusts the straps on his helmet</action>





I've always been told that I'm special.

gorckat 41,132 13
04/06/2005 04:28 PM

i'm special cuz TROC called me a retard



*smiles*

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 04:29 PM

Actually, ButterNuts, If we can answer at least half of those, we should be on HoB.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:29 PM

i meant special as in unique..........

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 04:29 PM

Then please, do us all a favor, and pick one of those other sites. We don't Frost-ing like you. You'd be happier there. Trust me.

Sexual Harassment Panda 181,783 70
04/06/2005 04:30 PM

<action>raises hand timidly</action>





Um, I suck.





In the way that would make people say I'm an OK noob.

gorckat 41,132 13
04/06/2005 04:31 PM

yes helmets- i wore my uncle's lacrosse helmet when i was a kid and everyone thought i really was retarded



and no jokes about his stick or balls...

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
04/06/2005 04:31 PM

Nutbutter, based on that, 75% of GAB is noobs. At some point you have to accept that you are stuck with some of us. We may not be 'old school', but we don't ALL suck.



Just because you don't suck it doesn't mean you're not a n00b.



Besides, I have nothing else. You have to at least recognize my status as Gab's senior loser.



PLEASE! IT'S ALL I HAVE!

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:32 PM

As if I'm not happy now? You have obviously never had a bunch of apes scream at you for an hour and a half, to no avail. Watching your kind establish dominance does make me happy. I wub you hammerhead.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 04:32 PM

Well, Since Whistler is THE senior, but he's cool.



Yes, You are the Senior Loser.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 04:33 PM

I make words in sentence sound good put together in a way to make sense peanut butter sandwiches.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
04/06/2005 04:34 PM

Tempus, ignore Mr. Hammerhead. He's still bitter about the whole "store sucking worse than a steaming pile of suck on National Suck Day" thing.



Plus, the hazing is all part of it.



Just as long as you recognize my status as Former #2 Funniest Gabber, you're ok in my book.

Frenchified Filly 39,193 20
04/06/2005 04:35 PM

Hey, sullen, I'm married. I have regular sex. With a real live girl! On a nightly basis!



I call bullShakespeare. Women don't have sex after marriage!

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 04:35 PM

agreed- I think your douchbag comments are excitingly familiar to what I would say if I saw you on the street. It's unfrotunate but I do enjoy your salty insults.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 04:36 PM

Apparently neither do sexy young naked-on-my-USB-flash-drive-stick girls.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:36 PM

No I really don't mind, except for the people at work are starting to give me funny looks when I try to stifle my giggling.

I think everyone thinks that I'm about to cry or something. That makes it just that much funnier.

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 04:37 PM

also agreed- women don't really like sex, we put up with it so you boys don't take your anger out on people that are smarter than you. obviously all of that contention is coming from not getting any.

Ditdah 123,102 14
04/06/2005 04:37 PM

Nutbutter - we all know you have been here forever because you <strike>have no life </strike> are so awesome. We all bow to you.



But I'm not sucking your toes. Again.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
04/06/2005 04:38 PM

Some advice though: Back off a bit on the "you guys aren't all that special and you don't scare me" thing. It only makes Mongo madder.



And less funny.



Blend in, be funny, share some naked tits with the gang, and eventually we'll share the goat carcass with you.

Ditdah 123,102 14
04/06/2005 04:38 PM

I DISAGREE!



I LOVE SEX!!!

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:40 PM

Whos mongo?

And they'll get over it. Besides, I'm giving them something to do, giving them a break from playing everquest and watching porn.

Ditdah 123,102 14
04/06/2005 04:41 PM

have no life



YAY! I'm so happy with myself I could Shakespeare a brick!

Ditdah 123,102 14
04/06/2005 04:42 PM

So what the hell did I do wrong in the first post????

MaddMatt -Steely-eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
04/06/2005 04:43 PM

it's like you have to deal with something for so long cuzz theres nothing better and then some one more intelligent than the rest of you comes along and assumes your position and all you can do is pout and try and pentrate their feelings. no submission on this end thanks.



OMIGOD! It's like you read my mind or something. You must be psychic! I just wish someone else around here had the balls to say what you did! You're my new hero!



Maybe you should start your own thread.



You could call it, "Special Olympics", or maybe, "Bukake Kamakazi" or how about, "N00b dudes showing their dubes on the tube". I think any of these would best reflect your talents.





(Special thanks to Ollie for the term "dubes")

PS: Ollie, stop spanking that thing or you are going to go blind!)

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 04:43 PM

smoke break.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
04/06/2005 04:44 PM

Here's another thing, Tempus, the only thing more loserish than a nerd who wastes time posting on the internet, playing Everquest, and watching porn, is someone who wastes time making fun of that person.



Because, you know, if your life was so much more fufilling you'd obviously have better things to do.



Carry on.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:44 PM

I think tabula is going to be sorely dissapointed when she gets out of school and reads "her" thread.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 04:45 PM

IM AT WORK!!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? WORK?

filthy macpirate 268 9
04/06/2005 04:45 PM

Blend in, be funny, share some naked tits with the gang, and eventually we'll share the goat carcass with you.



omfg--that's all it takes? boy, have I been wasting my time...

gorckat 41,132 13
04/06/2005 04:47 PM

tits? these count? probably not- Frost me i'm just a retard

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/06/2005 04:55 PM

I am starting to miss Pheobe or CoverGirl or even Hrudududududu.



<action>re-reads thread</action>

I am Jack's Kidney 6,902 12
04/06/2005 04:57 PM

<action>reads the entire thread and keeps lurking in fear of her life</action>



One thing though - How much does a bag of flap cost and where can I get it?

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 05:06 PM

Blast my crap lousy luck. Not even 2 minutes after my last post someone found work for me to do...

Phuc 237,919 21
04/06/2005 05:09 PM

That's Hulf Yarble.

Inanimate Carbon Rod 161,353 14
04/06/2005 05:14 PM

I declare this thread too boring for me to read. 140 posts? Come on, people, there wasn't even an auction to complain about.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 05:18 PM

speaking of random.... cough.

I agree with carbon rod

Ditdah 123,102 14
04/06/2005 05:20 PM

That's Chi-chi.



Just so you know.

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 05:21 PM

yay. carbon!

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
04/06/2005 05:22 PM

<action> Bats eyelashes at Tempus </action>

I think I love you.

Inanimate Carbon Rod 161,353 14
04/06/2005 05:23 PM

That's Mr. Rod, if you nasty.

sullenriot 79 8
04/06/2005 05:24 PM

i know i love you tempus.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 05:24 PM

I love you too, in a creepy, just met you on the internet kinda way.

Oh wait, I haven't met you. That's right.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
04/06/2005 05:26 PM

Wanna spoon?

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 05:27 PM

no but i'd fancy a spork

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 05:27 PM

<action>borks</action>

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 05:28 PM

This has everything to do with construction materials falling on a mexican. mmmhmmmm

Mr. Sir 66,718 9
04/06/2005 05:30 PM

He got forked.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/06/2005 05:31 PM

Chance, I see you haven't read the thread.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 05:32 PM

well fork you... sideways

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 05:34 PM

Bort? Bort!? How can they have Bort but no Bart?



"Come along Bort."

Excuse me? Were you talking to me?

"No. My son is also named Bort."

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
04/06/2005 05:37 PM

Naaa I was trying to kill him with kindness. I see that doesn't always work. Back to the drawing board.

gorckat 41,132 13
04/06/2005 05:39 PM

Naaa I was trying to kill him with kindness. I see that doesn't always work. Back to the drawing board.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 05:39 PM

I feel as though the greatest treasure ever given to man was just ripped from my grasp. I.. I.... I feel so used.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
04/06/2005 05:40 PM

Torn....like an old sweater.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 05:41 PM

boy those statistics are handy, i mean, now instead of just thinking gorckat is the least funny person ever, I can click on his name and prove it.

gorckat 41,132 13
04/06/2005 05:46 PM

damn- i have absolutely no witty response- put me all the way in the back with retarded and bloddy cumstains

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 05:50 PM

While were biting and editing other peoples posts, what you should've said was:



damn- i have absolutely no witty response- put me all the way in the back with retarded and bloddy cumstains

I am Jack's Kidney 6,902 12
04/06/2005 05:55 PM

Not enough contributions to rank



tempus' profile. I get Shakespeare for ripping on n00bs because I am a n00b but at least I have a rank.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 05:58 PM

half your funny but 1/10th your unfunny. I started posting on this 3 hours ago.. give me a break

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 06:00 PM

ANYWAY. Sorry for causing you all to get so butthurt, 160 posts worth of butthurt to be exact. No hard feelings, just harmless internet banter. I wub you all

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 06:10 PM

wow jack's kidney, you are mature. keep rating me. does it make you feel good?

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 06:13 PM

You know, I highly admire you for having to multipost in order to reply to everything someone has to say to you. Not like those other losers who just let it go.





</faceious>

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 06:16 PM

Don't let it get to you Time Flies; at least they aren't threating to ban you for being an asshat.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 06:17 PM

<action>hands Hat a 't'</action> Stop dropping your letters, dumbass.

Inanimate Carbon Rod 161,353 14
04/06/2005 06:17 PM

No one gets banned for being an asshat.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/06/2005 06:19 PM

If people got banned for being an asshat, I think Hargrave would be the only one here.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/06/2005 06:20 PM

Damn this infernal "actual work".



I was just going to post, wondering where HH was with my tea.

Asshat 203,956 21
04/06/2005 06:20 PM

HEY! This community doesn't descriminate against me...





















Asian, kittens, and people on feeding tubes is another thing.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 06:23 PM

Yeah, but maybe we would be better off. It's hard to be funny and nice at the same time. I mean Clowns are funny but it is even funnier when they are on fire... Ponders lighting Time ablaze

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 06:34 PM

Why dose every conversation I join into end up dying? It's like you everyone still hates me. Even though I haven't posted in months...

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 06:58 PM

It's hard to be funny andnice at the same time



I'm an Emerson.

And I'm OK with that.



btw do you know latin or read heinlein?

Frenchified Filly 39,193 20
04/06/2005 07:00 PM

No Yes.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
04/06/2005 07:01 PM

Why dose every conversation I join into end up dying?



Heh...Suicide Ranger...'dose'...dead thread...

Dweezil S Meniketti [Electric Hoedown] 77,546 17
04/06/2005 07:05 PM

Shut your Frost-ing piehole now. You will not gain acceptance by being dumber than a bag of Frost.



Yeah, that's MY schtick!

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 08:26 PM

This thread isn't dead.

Hey, how many womanists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 08:26 PM

NONE

womanists don't change anything

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
04/06/2005 09:20 PM

Hello noobs. Welcome to Gab. As you can see here, we don't let just anyone join in. Surely you too are tired of all the other sites, with 13 year olds constantly using too much or too little capitalization, trying to seem hardcore by constantly spouting out racist and violent phrases, interspersed with LOL's and OMFG's and what-have-you. GAB is different. It is like an island in a sea of stupidity, an oasis in a desert of douches. And we want to keep it that way. Thus, we are constantly weeding out the illiterate, the immature, and the just plain stupid from those who wish to join us.

Tempusfugit, I see some potential in you. What I haven't seen is much of "teh funny" in your posts, but you are resilient and seem to have a sense of humor. Unfortunatly, you've taken Hammerhead's insults as a reason to turn against us all. That can only end in tears. Your attitude that you are better than us is irritating, and you are wasting energy immaturely fighting Hammerhead, a champion hazer, when you could be proving your abilities with some good jokes. Frost your pride, lets see some humor.

Sullenriot: For the love of God, start capitalizing. And stop sucking Tempusfugit's dick. You haven't said anything very funny, and trying to side with other noobs is a very poor choice. Clean up and maybe TTJ or Trae will adopt you.

Gorckat: You just suck. You've started a couple of stupid threads, and your immaturity won't get a chuckle out of anyone past the sixth grade. You did see the part where it said you have to be 18 or over when you join, didn't you?

Suicide Ranger: Let me guess, you own a black trenchcoat and you've died your hair to match it. Once again, high schoolers under 18 need not apply.

Come on people, we aren't picking on you because we're jealous. It's because none of you have done much that's funny.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 09:30 PM

Bri, Suicide Ranger came around a few months ago, right on the tail end of the nutz fiasco.





No, Suicide, we don't like you still because you're a Shakespearebag.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 09:34 PM

Hey, how many womanists does it take to screw in a light bulb?



I like the answer: 2 one to do it and one to suck my Coleridge. But that is from TZ.



In answer to your question, I do know Latin.

Crowley 10,071 9
04/06/2005 09:37 PM

Apparently neither do sexy young naked-on-my-USB-flash-drive-stick girls



I want a USB flash drive stick so bad. They're convenient and portable and you can plug 'em in anywhere! Kinda like a penis.



Wait . . . . .

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 09:42 PM

Suicide Ranger: Let me guess, you own a black trenchcoat and you've died your hair to match it. Once again, high schoolers under 18 need not apply.



I happen to own a long back coat, it is very warm. My hair is dark brown. I graduated High school 6 years ago. I happen to be a stand up comedian. I find the endless amount of insults and potty humor amusing in their own right. Even given situational subject matter that could be funny, it never fails to degrade into some kind of name calling and posting of old tired disgusting pictures.

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
04/06/2005 09:44 PM

I see. Looks like I can't judge a book by it's username.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 09:50 PM

Indeed, I am Native American, but I won't hold that against me. When I Native American Child is born, its father goes out into the wilderness to name the child after the fist inspiring thing he sees; you get names like "Sitting Bull" "Crazy Horse." There was a catch in my family though, see we were in the suburbs. So my sisters have names like Jumping Rope, Little Big Wheel. My brother's name is Running Hose. Feel free to call me Crazy Neighbor.

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
04/06/2005 09:57 PM

Yeah, that method of naming kids probably died down shortly after hospitals became more common. I mean, c'mon, who the hell wants the name "Bedpan."

Tabula Rasa - relatively clean 14,056 9
04/06/2005 10:24 PM

I think tabula is going to be sorely dissapointed when she gets out of school and reads "her" thread.



Yes. Yes I am. I come home and there's one hundred and ninety Frost-ing one posts.



But it's full of noob-bashing, so it's okay. We seemed to have attracted the cream of the crap.

268 9
04/06/2005 10:34 PM

It is like an island in a sea of stupidity, an oasis in a desert of douches.



clickies like mana from heaven for that line alone

supergrover 4,517 9
04/06/2005 10:44 PM

as a noob my only comment is that i'm dissapointed in the noob smashing. All the veterans (aka hammerhead) got way too riled up over a simple newcomer and lost their funny. it wasn't even hazing, it was just sad.

csme 15,189 12
04/06/2005 10:56 PM

No, it was great! I sure miss HH's hazing.



Haze me baby; just like the first time.

millie 116,988 28
04/06/2005 10:58 PM

I skimmed most of this thread.



It started out nicely, though.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 11:04 PM

The thread is kind of like pancakes... All exciting at first but by the end you're Frost-ing sick of 'em.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2005 11:19 PM

csme, I'll "haze" you anytime, baby.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 11:24 PM

and........

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 11:24 PM

200!!!

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 11:29 PM

who the hell wants the name "Bedpan."



I think "woman with vagina of fire that scream like banshee" would be worse.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 11:30 PM

Tempus just gave the number of Brain Cells he has left.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 11:35 PM

yes but you see.... "Brain Cells" are much better than regular brain cells(not capitolized). I only need 200 of these extravagant capitolized Brain Cells.

supergrover 4,517 9
04/06/2005 11:39 PM

Let us kill this thread. It lived a tragic life, full of pain and not funny. It gave a all noobs a bad name and made HH livid. It also gave a tempur a false sense of glory by reaching 200 posts. I hope will all agree with me and make this the last post.

Amen.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 11:39 PM

Oh, he is a clever one. I can throw capitol Letters among my post to draw your Attention to them. See, I need to make sure you saw Brain Cells clearly; much like putting something shinny in front of you must of the time. Only I can't make text shinny.

Senior Destructor: Retired Supervillan 60,724 12
04/06/2005 11:40 PM

You'd think if someone cared enough about capitilization rules, they'd care enough to learn to spell it right.



gimp

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 11:41 PM

So how is your father Tempus? Is he ok? I mean isn't the top of this post about him?

erika the killjoy 76,152 9
04/06/2005 11:44 PM

You'd think if someone cared enough about capitilization rules, they'd care enough to learn to spell it right.





It's capitalization you Frosttards.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 11:44 PM

You'd think if someone cared enough about capitilization rules, they'd care enough to learn to spell it right.



I don't care. I'm just an Emerson remember?



Only I can't make text shinny.



I can't make anything shinny either. Shiny on the other hand....



I hope will all agree with me and make this the last post.



Apparantly not, my false sense of glory continues. WEEEEEEE!

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 11:45 PM

Sumune most have switched my U and O keys in that last pust!! Damit! Surry, they most have dune it again.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 11:47 PM

You're absolutely right there Tempus, I really wasn't serious. I was doing what is referred to as a joke. I will be trying to do a lot of those while posting here. I hope you can understand that.

Senior Destructor: Retired Supervillan 60,724 12
04/06/2005 11:47 PM

Erika's right...but I never claimed I gave Frost

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 11:48 PM

So how is your father Tempus? Is he ok? I mean isn't the top of this post about him?



Unfortunately my father lacks the work ethic of a mexican and smells slightly worse...

Tabula Rasa - relatively clean 14,056 9
04/06/2005 11:49 PM

STOP IT, ALL OF YOU! GET THE Frost OUT OF MY THREAD!

ringworm 68,315 13
04/06/2005 11:50 PM

so... why is tempus catching Shakespeare?

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
04/06/2005 11:52 PM

Oh, so he's Italian..

I'm Half German, and Half Native American, which makes me an excellent Beer Hunter.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 11:52 PM

ok... i have to admit that was funny

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/06/2005 11:53 PM

so... why is tempus catching Shakespeare?



cuz I'm a n00b. duuuuuh.

csme 15,189 12
04/07/2005 12:01 AM

HH - Remember that time I showed you my boobs on the webcam and you jizzed on your monitor? That was really great!



That was you, wasn't it?

Humphrey© 51,764 12
04/07/2005 12:14 AM

<action>Posts randomly</action>





randomly

supergrover 4,517 9
04/07/2005 12:18 AM

apparently tempur, wee is indeed right. *cries a little

The best part is that despite the hate you first felt, people may actually end up liking you by the time this thread dies. Like when something gets so bad it turns good. Or because you're a fellow zugger, it'll be like getting used to and eventually liking ones own foot odor.

Frogpop 173,153 25
04/07/2005 12:35 AM

so... why is tempus catching shuffle?



exactly. He may be over posting here a little, but I thought he said some funny things in another thread, and immediately came the "shut up n00b"'s. Also, I like his name.



I gave him his first clickie.

HisBoyElroy 10,621 13
04/07/2005 12:40 AM

unfortunately the majority of this thread is an example of the sad, indiscriminate, bashing bullShakespeare that some morons find funny.

PlainTableTopJane 173,958 15
04/07/2005 12:54 AM

Unless you can answer these questions, you're still a noob:



1) What did it take to get a PUSH t-shirt?



2) Which male gabber got his dick removed?



3) Who posted as "The Half Yarble"?



4) Where did Mass Hysteria go to school?



5) What was Marylin's first Gab name?



6) Why did Ford leave England?



7) Meat is _____



8) What did "NOMFWIC" mean and who was he?



9) Who puked at the end of "Wheel of Ipicac"?



10) Who was Snafflepod?



Nutbutter, being here longer than most people doesn't make you better.

Frogpop 173,153 25
04/07/2005 12:59 AM

no.. but Nutbutter's being funnier than most people here does.



Also, I don't know the answer to at least 6 of those.



You're livin' in the paaaast, man!

PlainTableTopJane 173,958 15
04/07/2005 01:01 AM

Froggie, I wasn't trying to say he wasn't funny. I just don't think the amount of time you spend on GAB should be how we judge who is a n00b or not.

Frogpop 173,153 25
04/07/2005 01:01 AM

holy schnikees.. he got 118 clickies in his first half a day.

You people wouldn't know a lamezor n00b if he LOL'd in ur face!!!1

Frogpop 173,153 25
04/07/2005 01:09 AM

Sorry Jane.. my irony filter must be acting up again.