Bankey 70,843 10
04/08/2005 10:28 AM

queue the 'Poop Aroma' parody thread in 5...4...3...2...1...

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
04/08/2005 10:42 AM

"Welcome back to FOX News live coverage of the Popes funeral. You'll notice that we've digitized a blue ring around the coffin so that the home viewers will be able to follow the action more closely. Only on FOX!.



I think down on the ground they're ready to get started. Lets go to to our special corpse-side correspondent, Candace Fluffill. Candace?



"Hello Ken. Can you hear me? I'm here beside the Popes body as they inter him in the first of three coffins, a simple cypress box."



"Did you say THREE coffins Candace?"



"That's right Ken. After that "Jesus escape" incident at the '00 internment, these Catholics aren't taking any chances on an unexpected return. They're all about defense this time around Ken!"

Don't touch me there, Mr Worthington 1,889 13
04/08/2005 10:49 AM

I heard it took ages to carry the Pope's body across St. Mark's Square.









Bishops can only move diagonally.

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
04/08/2005 10:59 AM

I wish I could have been at the funeral so I could hold up a giant "GO YANKEES!" sign.

daisypie 49,378 9
04/08/2005 11:40 AM

The Catholics have stage a dignified affair for the Pope's funeral, avoiding

any unfortunate incidents, like occured at the last Ayatollah-palooza...

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
04/08/2005 11:45 AM

I'd like to be in the crowd, holding this.

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
04/08/2005 02:25 PM

America.



Because we can.



This has been a paid political announcement from the Exxon corporation.



"We now return you to live coverage of the Popes funeral, or as it has been nicknamed by the media, "The Grapple in the Chapel". So far everything has been proceeding according to plan, but...wait a minuite..there seems to be some excitement in the square. Let's go to Candace. Candace? What's going on?"



"Ken, it appears we have our first major celebrity mourner. Mel "Passion of the Christ" Gibson has shown up, and it appears he's trying to martyr himself again right in front of the Popes processional. He's wearing some sort of Aramaic peasant robe...I believe it's Giorgio Aramaic... and is apparently trying to burn himself alive with a huge pile of money."



"Good lord Candace. How did security managed to stop him?"



"Stop him, Ken?"



"Right you are Candace. Right you are."

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/08/2005 02:35 PM

Readers letter from the Newspaper this morning:



"Why is it always the Cardinals who choose the new pope? Why can't it be the Blue Jay's for a change??"