The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/11/2005 03:13 AM

We saw an awesome pimped out ride, and I asked Camie to take a picture, but she's not too bright. But what are you gonna do? She was born in a wig wam, for Christ's sake. She's practically a heathen.



And here's Maddi looking cute.



Got to Portland with enough time to get some dinner. Went to a Cajun place called "Montage." It was great because they just have a bunch of long tables, and they sit you with other people. And it was fun because I hate people. But the food was good, and it was cheap.



The show on Friday was good, but not as good as the Thursday show. And I amost got into a fight with stoner idiot moron hippie during the show. He tried to squeeze in between me and Camie during the show, and I don't like moving for anyone. He started yelling at me after I started to nudge him out of my way and called my a spacehog. I told him I couldn't help it, I have a thyroid problem.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/11/2005 03:13 AM

The next day, Camie, Eric, Calida, and Ian were going to Eugene, Or. to see moe. again, but I was getting up to drive to Vancouver BC to see a band that reeks of so much hippie, they cannot even be named. Went to bed at 3am, woke up at 7am. I then drove from Portland, Or. to Bellingham, Wa in 3 and a half hours to pick up Chris.



I was a little on edge at this point, after driving that far on 4 hours of sleep by myself.



We get to Vancouver with relative ease. Although, I had to pee like a race horse, and Chris was definitely prairie doggin. We had to hurry. We found my friends condo, and parked in the garage.



Now, things always seem much more difficult when you have to go to the bathroom. We grab our bags, but nothing else. I have never been to this condo before. It belonged to my room mate that was working up there for a while. He was in Seattle, so it was just Chris and I. We had no idea where anything was. We find stairs out of the garage, and once we get out the door we walk right smack bad in the middle of a photo shoot. Imagine it. This guy and this guy walking in a super hot models photoshoot, looking like we are about to explode from our lower parts. Yeah, a bit awkward.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/11/2005 03:14 AM

She was leaning up against the gate that led to the sidewalk. The photographer, and lighting guys were on the stairs that led to a courtyard that led to what I thought would be the condo.



The Photographer says "need to get out?" and opens the gate for us. I say "No, I think we're going up." So we go up the stairs, only to find no entrance to the Condo's. Only a courtyard. And no exit. So we got to go down and interrupt the photoshoot again.



So we finally get to the door into the building. All I have is a key chain with the garage door opener and the key to the condo. But no key to get into the building. Shakespeare. Luckily, someone was leaving the building as we were trying to get in. So we slip into the building and head to the elevator. My bladder, and his colon we're increasing in volume, it felt like, exponentially. We get in the elevator, press the button to go to floor 3, and nothing happens. We don't move. Press it again. Nothing. Luckily a lady comes in, and I have ne shame at this point, and ask her what the hell to do. Figure out the keychain in the magnetic pass thing that allows us access to the building. WOO HOO! Almost there.



We find the room, and the keys don't work. I am about to cry. Well, turns out there are 2 towers, and we are in the wrong one, and I had been trying to unlock the door to someone else's condo for 5 minutes. Hope I didn't scare anyone.



WE FINALLY GET TO THE CONDO AND I PEED FOR 3 MINUTES STRAIGHT. Oh thank god.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/11/2005 03:14 AM

And the condo was Frost-ing sweet. My room mates company paid for it. Here's Chris lounging. And here is me enjoying the magnificent view from the deck. Here is a closer view, so you can check out my awesome shirt. In case you can't read it, it says "Jesus loves me. So Frost Off." I would like to thank Chi Chi.



The show on Saturday was good, but it was tough to enjoy because I had been listening to a totally different kind of music, and it was hard to get into the right mood to enjoy it.



Another cool thing, the Condo was 3 blocks from the venue. After the show, Chris and another buddy, Scott, hung out on our deck, drinking out $16 half rack of Kokane. From out deck we could watch hookers pick up men. My camera sucks, so the pictures I took of the hookers at night didn't come out. But they hung out at this corner. Heh, you get to see more, on Seymour. street.



And the next day I drove home. The End.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/11/2005 03:16 AM

Now, here's my issues with Canada.



1. The women are all very hot where we were in Vancouver. I have a hard enough time scoring with ugly chicks here in Seattle, how the hell am I supposed to touch a tit of one of these ber hotties?



2. Prostitution appears to be legal. Or at least the cops look the other way. One would think this is great. It would help get over the "can't get laid by a hot chick" issue, but it then brings up the "I probably can't afford to get a hooker" issue. So it's depressing knowing how poor you are.



3. Why the Frost does a 12 pack of Kokane cost $16? I wouldn't be able to afford to live there, unless I could build a house out of the empty boxes.



4. Canadians don't seem to understand that, as Americans, they should worship us. I mean, come on. Who's country did they ever invade? Pfft.

supergrover 4,517 9
04/11/2005 03:16 AM

I hope someone else will read that all and post a cliff notes version.

But really, I wouldn't wish such a thing on anyone.



I'm kidding. But seriously, I didn't read it.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/11/2005 03:20 AM

Then go Frost yourself.

Senior Destructor: Retired Supervillan 60,724 12
04/11/2005 03:34 AM

Portland to Bellingham in 3 and a half hours? That's pretty damn amazing.

supergrover 4,517 9
04/11/2005 03:43 AM

Oliver I've been on here for a little while now and I'd just like to say that I think you're one of the funniest people on this site.



please excuse any offense I have made in my attempt at humor



Love, the grover

supergrover 4,517 9
04/11/2005 03:44 AM

But I'm still not gonna read it

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
04/11/2005 03:46 AM

"A long boring thread about my road trip"





Got that right.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/11/2005 03:47 AM

Fine, but get your tongue outta my ass.

supergrover 4,517 9
04/11/2005 03:59 AM

But it tastes sooo good

Captain Dan's Sea Legs 44,452 11
04/11/2005 04:09 AM

traveblogs are ruining Gab

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
04/11/2005 04:15 AM

Good story, and lots of miles traveled it seems. If not for the Shakespearety hippie tunes you heard, I would be inclined to have traced your footsteps rather than read all that, but only because I drive better than I read. (Or at least enjoy it more)





Again, my favorite part of the tale was the Pee, and Poop part, but that's just me.



I am concerned that you decided to photograph all that you did, (including the corners the hookers stand at, when they are hooking) but not a single Frost-ing shot from the model at the gate ? (So what if you had to pee)



If it was a sixth grade girl you would have found the time to get a picture or two.

Senior Destructor: Retired Supervillan 60,724 12
04/11/2005 04:19 AM

No models, but we can only imagine what was going on here

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
04/11/2005 04:29 AM

Who's country did they ever invade?





Ours........every time they go shopping, if they are close enough to the border !



Lucky you don't smoke, I'm told they are aboot $10.00 a pack up there.

Whistler P. McManus 186,021 44
04/11/2005 05:46 AM

Cliff Notes Version:



Ollie has friends who road trip and crash on his couch to see some shows.



Ollie goes on the road himself, crashing on friends' couches to see some shows.



Ollie tells us very little about the shows, and posts no pictures of them or of any hot chicks or hookers he saw.



At one point, Ollie had to go to the bathroom really badly. Then he went. It was number 1. He was happy.



The end.

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
04/11/2005 05:49 AM

moe. is pretty cool, I remember seeing them ten years ago, opening for bands like yOlk at the Wetlands in downtown Manhattan. They've gotten relatively huge since then. Every once in a while, they'll play really small clubs as Monkeys On Ecstasy, those are the shows worth seeing.

supergrover 4,517 9
04/11/2005 06:08 AM

Thank you whistler. Would you like me to stick my tongue up your ass now? cuz your my finger is getting sore from your clenching.

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
04/11/2005 09:08 AM

It actually sounded more fun when you told it Whistler !

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/11/2005 11:17 AM

I think he's lying about the having to pee part. I think he's having a Simpson's flashback where Homer's trying to pee in the World Trade Center but he's in the wrong tower.





So, yeah, why didn't you go back down after draining your lizard and take pics of the models? Dumbass.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/11/2005 11:40 AM

Simpson's flashback







Blah! Blech. Yeech! Yuck.. I'll take a crab juice!

DemoMonkey. Period. 166,252 10
04/11/2005 11:43 AM

Only 6 parts to that story?



Amateur.

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/11/2005 12:38 PM

I think he's lying about the having to pee part. I think he's having a Simpson's flashback where Homer's trying to pee in the World Trade Center but he's in the wrong tower.



Life imitating art, my friend. Life imitating art.

Phlagina Mignonologues 131,068 34
04/11/2005 05:51 PM

Ollie sure likes that tree pose, doesn't he?

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/11/2005 05:59 PM

Man, look how fat I've gotten.

Whistler P. McManus 186,021 44
04/11/2005 10:38 PM

I'd need to see the skinny photo to really say.

TheFoye 55,700 16
04/12/2005 03:01 AM

Oliver I see why you have no luck with the ladies! You hang out with people better looking than you! Try hanging out with some retards or something, that should make you look a little bit better to the ladies!



Go get'em tiger!

Frogpop 173,153 25
04/12/2005 04:08 AM

1. The women are all very hot where we were in Vancouver.



2. Prostitution appears to be legal.



I have found Montreal to be very much the same. Not only are the populational proportions of ridiculously attractive females skewed well out of the Normal, BUT.. to top it all off, the ratio of the sexes is totally bonkers! Rather than your typical 51/49 female to male split, my friend Brian and I were convinced that it was easily 60/40, and possibly more like 65/35.



I guess all the guys are too intimidated by all the lookers, and just give up and leave town.



Brian and I were also far too broke (and far too chicken) to go messing about with the Ladies-of-the-Night.

McChickens Nuggets 286,527 61
04/12/2005 06:37 AM

Tell your friend Chris I love his work.

Frogpop 173,153 25
04/12/2005 08:26 AM

Eets a rrrrace!