Whistler P. McManus 186,021 44
04/21/2005 05:21 AM

Up until a couple of days ago, I just put all my stuff in my jacket pockets, but then it started getting hot. So I have my wallet, keys, MP3 player, phone, handkerchief, loose change, carmex, pocketknife, rubber bands, paper clips and lint collection all left homeless. So I borrowed a spare lunchbox from Liam, but even he thought I looked pretty dorky carrying my stuff around in a sack emblazoned with Buzz Lightyear and Woody. EJ forbid me from using a fanny pack, but I found this nylon sling bag thing that I thought would be acceptable and so I bought it.



First thing Eamon and his friend Arthur said when they saw it: "YOU GOT A MAN-PURSE! IT'S A MURSE!"



And so, to prove how secure I am in my masculinity, I have been proudly carrying my murse around with me ever since.



Last night, after he got off from work, Eamon asked me if we could stop at the store. He needed something for school today. There's a super Wal*Mart a couple of blocks away from the Tae Kwon Do school, so I drove over there. We get out of the car and start walking across the parking lot, and I go to stick my keys in my pocket and realize I have no pockets, so I have no money. I left my murse in the car. So I go back to get it. We walk into Wal*Mart, and start walking the eight or ten city blocks across the store to get what he needed, and suddenly I realize that I'm walking around Wal*Mart with a teenaged boy, wearing a pair of earrings and a pair of clogs and carrying a purse. A sudden sense of shame washed over me. I was utterly humiliated when I had to dig through my murse to find my wallet and pay the cashier. I just wanted to slink out of there. I have never in my life felt so creepy. As soon as the stores open today I'm going out to buy some sneakers and a backpack.

Napkin's ± 30,762 12
04/21/2005 05:37 AM

Oh, you're just flamboyant. Like Liberachi!









... He was gay?

The lovely Daggy 86,705 14
04/21/2005 06:18 AM

When you get your backpack, draw an arrow on it pointing downwards, followed by the words 'GET IT HERE'.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
04/21/2005 06:42 AM

You carry Carmex around?





Damn, I COULD have gotten head at the Tick-Tock.







fag.

Pistol, soon to be Naruto 10,071 9
04/21/2005 08:18 AM

Any time anyone asks, just tell them you're a pirate.



It's all about the booty, right?

Frogpop 173,153 25
04/21/2005 08:20 AM

yarr.

JepRep - Limericking upon request 58,758 13
04/21/2005 08:23 AM

I'm sure your son was just as mortified by the experience as you were, but not that you should care. Humiliating your offspring is not the duty of a parent. It's only a perk.

Robin® 14,626 10
04/21/2005 08:56 AM

When you start getting manicures and petticures with pink nail polish, wearing big gaudy jewelry and buying shoes and belts to match your murse.



Then you worry.

PuggyD 48,304 12
04/21/2005 09:27 AM

I thought "murse" was going to be "male nurse" and that this would be a different story, but it was the *other* McManus that had the hospital stay.



Although it does kind of sound like you were dressed like a male nurse. The difference between those karate pants and scrubs = not a lot?

Purplehead 406 8
04/21/2005 09:36 AM

If you dress like that often...the Karate classes may come in handy.

Pope Chickens the Fruitful 286,527 61
04/21/2005 09:44 AM

Oh, why don't you just come out already.

Pope Chickens the Fruitful 286,527 61
04/21/2005 09:48 AM

Purple- he doesn't actually TAKE karate. It's just Tie Kwon Do, and he's just the SECRETARY.



Try to keep up.

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
04/21/2005 10:24 AM

Tie Kwon Do



The art of battle using garments worn around the neck.

Pope Chickens the Fruitful 286,527 61
04/21/2005 10:27 AM

You can do some real damage with a windsor knot, don't be misled.

Kakester 55,555 14
04/21/2005 10:35 AM

Don't worry, man, there's some real manly men out there with murses.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/21/2005 10:41 AM

This story combines two of the things I hate the most. Metrosexuals and Wal*Mart.

Mr. Briham 38,843 10
04/21/2005 10:46 AM

<action>in a poorly dubbed over voice</action>

Your Tie Kwan Do is strong, but it is no match for my Sock Fu.

Kakester 55,555 14
04/21/2005 10:57 AM

"I know Tai Chi, I know Taekwondo, and I know Tyrone. he taught me all that Shakespeare."

daisypie 49,378 9
04/21/2005 11:58 AM

...Speaking of Wal*Mart, while they do suck the dripping sweat

off Satan's shrivelled nutsack, I did just score the classic comedy

Bad News Bears on dvd for the always low price of just $4.88!



"What do you expect, all we've got on this team are a bunch of jews,

spics, Ogden Nashes, pansies, and a booger eating moron!"

Kakester 55,555 14
04/21/2005 12:18 PM

I'm actually looking forward to the Bad News Bears remake starring Billy Bob thornton. I saw the trailer in the theater, seemed pretty damn funny.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
04/21/2005 12:55 PM

Get a messenger bag!























fag

daisypie 49,378 9
04/22/2005 12:44 PM

"Jews, spics, Ogden Nashes... and now a girl!"

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
04/22/2005 01:13 PM

Don't forget the booger eating spaz !

Chit Eating Grin 178,776 15
04/22/2005 01:14 PM

Nevermind !





That would be me !

Whistler P. McManus 186,021 44
04/22/2005 02:21 PM

I can't bring myself to give up the murse. I've become attached to it now. So screw everyone - I'm keeping it. Wait until the t-shirt HP is making me arrives. I'll put that on and take my murse down to the Home Depot and sashay up and down the aisles.

Fluorescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/22/2005 02:29 PM

ITS EUROPEAN!

The Reverend Oliver Chest 203,475 12
04/22/2005 03:15 PM

My murse.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/22/2005 03:26 PM

EJ forbid me from using a fanny pack,



LISTEN TO THIS PERSON--HE OBVIOUSLY KNOWS WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU!!!



Despite the Shakespeare I often give you, Whistluh, I think you are a consistenly humorous, generous human being.



But holy Shakespeare--gold hoops on each ear, clogs, a fife, and then you were going to wear a fanny pack?!?--it's no wonder your kids have to learn a martial art (if you hit people, it's a martial art)! Otherwise, your fashion sense would leave them all bloodied with their heads in the toilets at the end of every school day!



No I'm no sharp dresser like Elton John or BobJohnson, but jeeziz--you can manly up yourself for cheap at Marshall's. Get some chuck taylors, put some Superfeet in them, remove an earring (or at least get silver), take up the drums, and burn all fanny packs and evidence that fanny packs have ever existed in you or your family's lives.



</PSA>



PS

If you wear your uniform outside of the school, it's a breach of ettiquette and it's lame, so don't do it, please. All us yellow folks thank you.

Declan 'Velvet Jones' McManus 131,874 36
04/22/2005 09:59 PM

1) EJ stands for EmmaJayne, the too wonderful Mrs Whistler.



2) I wear cargo pocket pants all the time. Even to bed.



3) When I have to schlep more than that, I use canvas bags, in the style of the LL Bean bags.



4) Lay off the brothers McManus, or you will face exotic pain.





5) Read your freaking email sometime, bro.

Declan 'Velvet Jones' McManus 131,874 36
04/22/2005 10:02 PM

and, 6) I will remember to close my html tags sometime.

Whistler P. McManus 186,021 44
04/22/2005 10:06 PM

Send some e-mail and I'll read it.



Ever listen to your answering machine?

Phuc 237,919 21
04/22/2005 10:12 PM

4) Lay off the brothers McManus, or you will face exotic pain.



What? My nasal cavities seared from your butt emissions?

Declan 'Velvet Jones' McManus 131,874 36
04/22/2005 10:21 PM

I have sharp German-made cooking knives, and many dangerous kitchen machines.



Whistler has many sharp implements as well.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/22/2005 10:24 PM

I have sharp German-made cooking knives, and many dangerous kitchen machines.



It'd probably be a miracle if you could get your go-cart over to them and summon up the energy to lift one.

Whistler P. McManus 186,021 44
04/22/2005 10:53 PM

Sharp implements?



No sir. A ball point pen is about as sharp as they let me carry.